THE GOAT'S WILL

Oh, Larry, you tethered me too near the crop,
At the neighbours' potatoes I got many a snap,
To infringe on my neighbours I ne'er did intend,
But this day I come to an untimely end.

Give my bells to Miss Martin on her bonnet to pin,
My beard to James Cambell to stick on his chin,
Give my lugs to Pat's Biddy to stick on her nose,
Gainst the hot summer sun and the cold winter snows.

Give my teeth to old Neill for I hear he has none,
My shin-bones for drum-sticks to wee Johnny Loan;
Give my horns to Larry to pick his old gooms,
My sinews to Kealy to tie up his looms.

Oh, don't let Paddy Conville with his knife cut my throat,
But let me die here like an honest old goat;
You will think of my kindness when I'm dead and away,
How often you bribed me to cream your black tea.