Musical selection: Hungarian Rhapsody #2, Franz Liszt, courtesy of Classical MIDI Archives, © 1999 Pierre R. Schwob

This article originally appeared in the Asbury Park (NJ) Press in 1993

NUTRITIONAL CORRECTNESS

If the 70s spawned the "Me Generation" and the 80s were the Age of Greed, then the 90s will go down in history as the Decade of Correctness.

We have to be politically correct to avoid offending anybody's cultural sensibilities. We're supposed to buy environmentally correct products to protect the environment. And now we have to eat foods which are nutritionally correct

Just as AIDS has made us afraid of sex, nutritional correctness has made us afraid of food. Nutritional correctness neatly divides foods into good and bad categories. Plain nonfat yogurt is nutritionally correct; Haagen-Dazs Chocolate Chocolate Chip ice cream is not. Both sugar and artificial sweeteners are nutritionally incorrect. Red meat is a definite taboo, not only nutritionally, but politically and environmentally as well, which naturally makes it a favorite staple food among Rush Limbaugh fans.

Following is a list of nutritionally correct vs incorrect foods:

INCORRECT..............................CORRECT
Red meat................................................Fish (prepared without oil or fat)
Coffee.......................................................... Herbal teas
Soda............................................................ Fruit juice
Liquor............................................................Mineral water
Brownies........................................................Fresh fruit
White flour..................................................... Whole grain anything
Cheese...........................................................Tofu
Potato chips...................................................Unbuttered, unsalted popcorn

The basic premise of nutritional correctness is simple: If it's something you don't particularly enjoy eating or drinking, you can bet your Twinkies or Big Mac with cheese that it's NC.

Political, environmental, and nutritional correctness are all classic examples of a good idea carried to its absurd extreme. I'm all in favor of respecting cultural differences and protecting the environment. I even like most nutritionally correct foods. But do we really need "food police" to monitor each mouthful we consume for its fat, sugar, sodium, cholesterol, and preservative content?

The matter certainly deserves much more thought. But first I think I'll relax with a nice, frosty glass of nutritionally correct sparkling mineral water -- and a pint of Haagen-Dazs Chocolate Chocolate Chip ice cream.