Lily must have been able to tell that I had been giving as much as I got, and maybe more, because she started pouring it on too, as we continued gazing into each other’s eyes.  We were each letting our love lift the other up, freeing the other to give even more.  And within us, Love, our master, had created a perfect yin-yang dynamic, with no upper limit in sight.  And the higher we were lifted, the farther we could see.  Into the future, into each other, into how we would affect the world.  Lily and I did reach a point, where our human minds could not take any more revelation.  We had to stop.  Lily was crying.  I felt like my heart was crushed, all over again.  Tears came to me, too.
    Lily’s voice was barely audible, "help…  I can’t take this."  She cried more.  Then, she let out a yell.  It sounded like a cry of agony.  Another spiritual pregnancy, I hypothesized.  Must have been, she was holding her stomach.  Thankfully, I was here to comfort her, this time.  I didn’t say anything for a long, long time.  I just held her, and let our tears run together.
    Love was not letting us reach any equilibrium, at all.  The changes were coming faster and more intensely, all the time.  "Oh, God!"  Lily cried out.  She wiped her eyes on the bedsheet.
    "I’ll go get the Kleenexes," I said, making myself get out of bed.  I got the box from beside the sink, but then I paused, to look at myself in the mirror.  The man I saw there, was not the one I had seen, the day before.  My life was completely different.  I was completely different.  I was a man with a future.  A destiny to fulfill.  One that blew my mind, and had to be done.   I rejoined my mate, and handed her the box.
    I laid close beside her, but still not close enough.  When Lily was finished dabbing her eyes and nose, she clung to me.  She still needed help, I surmised.  But, I didn’t know what else I could do.  "We are helpless, when Love takes over,"  I said, to let her know that I completely understood what she had told me earlier, about being jumped by Love, and being at his mercy.
    "It’s not fair!" Lily wailed.
    "Did Love get you pregnant, again?"  I asked.
    "Yes!  He’s such a cruel, cruel master!"  Lily let out a sound of frustration.  Then, I couldn’t tell if she was laughing or crying.  "No sooner do you birth one baby, and he’s on to the next one!"
    "It’s our fault, though," I pointed out.
    "I know!"  Lily moaned.  "I’m cooperating with my own agony…  My fault!  Love didn’t force himself on me, this time.  I went to him.  I asked for it.  And, it’s very, very dangerous!"  Then she sighed, and relaxed, to the point of letting go of me.  Accepting her fate.  "It’s just that, I only had a few moments of peace and rest, and a sense that all is well, with my past, and everything-- it was wonderful, and it was worth it!  But then… it starts all over, again!  Love fulfilled the intense longing he gave me, by giving me all of your love, and letting me give you all of mine.  Ah, Heaven!  But now, he has given me a new longing…"  Lily actually whimpered.  "Oh, God…  Please…"  She prayed for mercy on her ravished soul.
    I couldn’t bring myself to say that I was pregnant too, but I felt it, like she did.  "I think it will be O.K., Lily," I assured her.  "It’s not going to take seven years.  And, I’m here.  We will help each other, and let the future happen.  It will be worth it in the end, I am sure of it."
    "It is worth it,"  Lily concurred.  She sighed again.  "A time of agony, for infinite joy."  She smiled a little.  "Like the joy I get from you."  She smiled a little bigger.  "No, it can’t possibly be as much torture as it was, before I had you, Rick."
    "But, to fulfill this longing, will take more than just the love of one man…" I said.
    "I suspect that, to Love, all his goals are the same size,"  Lily speculated.  "They are just always way too big, from our point of view.  Always ‘impossible.’"
    "Never a dull moment," I added.
    "Very, very true!"  Lily agreed.  "Oh Rick, I feel myself getting some hope.  I’m half way there, already!"  She kissed me, for joy.  "O.K.!"  Lily yelled at the ceiling,  "I suppose it’s not so bad…  Even though my heart, which you healed, has been broken again!  But, thank you for giving me Rick!"  Then she looked at me, and said, "Because, I sure wouldn’t want to go through it again, without you."
    "It only seems like it’s starting all over again, but really, we are making progress," I declared.  "You know, we grew into the love, and the goal Love had for us…  We could handle it.  We achieved it.  Now, he’s got something even greater in mind, that he wants us to grow into."
    "Yes…  And, that’s a relief.  I’m hoping that this phase won’t be nearly so difficult.  We’ve had practice!"  Lily grinned.  "I’ve gotta tell you something."
    "Cool.  Tell me," I asked.
    "Remember, I told you that I had pleaded with God, to take away the love I had for you?"  I nodded.  "Well…"  She giggled, "a few months before we met, I asked God to pour it on, more!  I pleaded, ‘More love, God!’  Just in case it wasn’t enough."
    "It’s enough," I interjected.  "More than enough!"
    Lily smiled, and loved me.  Then she continued, "So, I went from defending myself against Love’s agenda, to accepting it, to being excited about it, and wanting more of it!  Because, hope had filled me up, and I could see the light at the end of the tunnel.  And, I was thinking about how wonderful it was going to be for you, and not that I would finally get some relief, for myself.  So, I was doing it for you.  I guess, I have to remember that it’s not really about me.  Even though, what I get out of it, is beyond my wildest imagination.  Going through the agony, is more for the sake of others, it seems.  That’s what love is: giving, doing for others."
    I had my own realization.  I laughed, out loud.  "You know what?  I think the answer to my question of ‘why us?’ is really, ‘for Heaven’s sake!’  Even though you and I, and everyone else we will affect-- Love affects-- are benefited, Love is also doing it for himself…  You know, I think he feels the need to procreate.  Reproduce himself.  Propagate Love, everywhere!"  I smiled at Love!  I had figured him out.  "And, he has produced offspring-- the love in us-- by impregnating you with it, the first time.  And now, he will have more love-children, through us both, together.  And those children, will spread Love, even further…"
    I looked down at Lily’s stomach.  "Like our son," I added.  I slipped my arm under the covers, and put my hand there.  Lily covered my hand with hers.  "Child, your name is Nathan Amadeus, which means ‘he has bestowed God’s love.’"
    Lily smiled.  "I like it!  I knew you would be good at choosing the names.  And you know name meanings?"
    "It’s been kind of a hobby of mine.  I found it interesting.  Now, I know why,"  I chuckled.  Love had been leading me all along, and I hadn’t a clue…
    "What does ‘Rick’ mean?"  Lily asked.
    "Strong Ruler,"  I replied.
    "And ‘Lily’ means ‘Lily,’ "  Lily said.
    "The most beautiful, delicate blossom, with an intoxicating perfume.  In the language of flowers, it symbolizes ‘Purity,’" I added, smiling.  "…And, you may seem delicate, but you are really a Tiger Lily.  More formidable than anyone realizes."
    "Yes!  I love the definition of the word ‘meekness,’ which means ‘veiled strength.’  Easily under-estimable.   You are formidable too, love!  I love it, how you now are giving me a run for my money!"  She laughed.
    "I guess, you aren’t the only one who’s lost some kind of virginity," I revealed.  "Between us, you were the expert on giving love.  I was just the expert on sex.  And now, we’re both getting good at both."
    Lily said, "I look forward to getting more practice…"  She slid her hand up my arm, and got closer to me.  But, when I tried to roll to be atop her, she pushed me away.  "I want to try, this time.  How hard can it be, right?"  She kept pushing me, ‘til I was on my back.  "Besides, you’ve been doing most of the work.  Take a break!"  Lily giggled.  Maybe at herself.
    I had to say, "but you know, I don’t mind…"
    Lily grinned.  She bent to kiss me, as she put herself across me.  Her hair fell forward, and brushed against my neck and ears.  A soft veil, blocking out all other views, but our faces.  I grasped her head, and kept it there, so we could kiss much more.  As we did, Lily started laughing.  Her laugh was so infectious, I started laughing, too.  "I’ve gone mad, again!"  She informed me.  "Ah… I love you!"  She got out, and she tried her best to kiss me, once more.
    Never a dull moment, I thought to myself, again.  Then, I told myself to stop grinning, so Lily could kiss me!  My solution was to kiss her.  "We’ve got to just stay mad…"  I theorized.
    "Yes!  So we can cope with this ridiculous life we’re living,"  Lily concluded.  Lily had laughed herself out, however, and had to rest.  So, she relaxed on top of me.  But, the silence was punctuated by an occasional giggle.  As if, she was still thinking about it.  Finally, she sighed.  "I just want to know, if things will ever settle down, or will I have to adapt to all this intensity?  Could this ever seem normal to me?"
    "Normal?"  I repeated.  "Hmm.  I bet it’s normal from Love’s point of view."
    Lily gasped in realization.  "Your right!  Love behaving normally.  No big deal for him, I’m sure.  He’s some kind of supernatural being.  But, what about us poor humans?  Doesn’t he understand what it’s like for us?  I mean, I laugh like an idiot, and cry like a faucet, and feel everything so intensely-- all the time-- that it feels like my every cell is on fire!  Oh, my!  Especially, when we make love, Rick!  I feel you in my fingers!  In every part of me…  Like we really are one.  It’s… astonishing.  God!  Not that I’m complaining, of course!"
    I hugged Lily to me, in gratitude, for what she said about sex with me.  It is indescribable.  After a moment, I responded, "Our love, our lovemaking, and the life we are living is absolutely not normal.  Not normal, not natural.  Supernatural.  Only happening because of a heavenly influence.  We two humans couldn’t generate this by ourselves."  I considered further, then added, "We must abandon trying to comprehend and cope with this phenomenon, from our human point of view.  It’s not possible.  We aren’t equipped."  Lily nodded, knowingly.  I continued, "if it’s ever going to seem normal, we must adopt Love’s point of view on it.  If we have that, then it should all make sense, too.  You know, not just see what is reflected in the eyes of Love, but perceive through his eyes.  Or, with his eyes."  I exhaled.  "But how?"
    "His eyes in our head…"  Lily added.  I nodded.  Lily furrowed her brow, and looked into my eyes, with much concentration.  "We grow," she eventually stated.  "We already have some understanding of Love and his point of view.  We’ve grown, as you said.  If we keep cooperating, our comprehension will also increase, along with our capacity to love.  We will understand by doing and being, not reasoning.  Because, love is a active state, not a concept.  It only exists when lived, not merely talked about."
    "To understand Love’s point of view, we must do what he does," I interpreted.  "Then, it will become clear.  Obvious, I expect."
    "'Tis my hope," Lily said, as she laid her head down on my chest, again. "To love, and to understand.  To grow up.  And all this is growing pains.  Love is trying to grow us into something so far beyond us, it’s…"
    I finished the sentence with, "…Quite a traumatic process."
    "And extreme… And marvelous.  …And everything!"  She concluded.
    I remembered how I had thought I would have been content, back in our bedroom, to just sit, with Lily on my lap, for eternity.  And then later, on the plane, how I thought could live in the love-state we had then, for eternity.   But Love hadn’t been content, with the level things were, at those times.  He insisted on growing the love, never stopping.   I guess the spiritual universe expands, just like our physical one is.  I can see his point.  Why stop, he thinks, when there is so much more to experience and express?  I was getting a taste of the true meaning of infinity: you can’t reach the end, there is always more.
    Lily exhaled, then propped herself up, to look at me.  "Oh, Rick.  I’m happy.  My fear, that I would always be a helpless victim of Love, tossed about by his every whim, not knowing what to expect, never having any rest, has been replaced by the hope, that one day, it will be a normal, natural, obvious state that I can dwell in, with ease, for eternity."  She put her forehead on my chest.  "Thank you for helping me!  Oh!  How I love you!"  Lily kissed my chest.  Then neck, then face.
    "I love you, too!"  I growled.
    "…And, I’m really gonna let you have it, Mister!"  Lily growled back.  She kissed me once, hard.  My heart began to beat faster.  The encounter we had just had, was too intense… I had done my best to let her have it.  She had seemed overwhelmed.  But, she was really going to let me have it, this time?  The new spiritual pregnancy she was experiencing probably meant she had even more to give.  Could I survive more?
    "Go for it," I encouraged her.  I was ready.  ‘Cause maybe, I had more to give, too.  Lily settled onto me, and started.  I gave her a few pointers, and she did let me have it.  And, for a seriously long time.  I propped myself up on my elbows, so Lily’s lips could reach mine.  But, we used our mouths more for making noise!  Lily was smiling.  I think she was enjoying overcoming me.  I was feeling her in my toes.  
    Nope.  Didn’t survive.  I died.
    Ah, but I lived again.
    And we lived…
   HAPPILY
  …ever after!

 
"A Lily Among Thorns"
Chapter 13: The Hope
The Epilogue

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