As she ran for the exit, she could only think of one thing...what would she do if the bus left without her? It was a risk she had been willing to take, and as she burst out the exit door, she realized she was now going to pay the price. There was bus #82-3, her bus, pulling out onto the highway in the distance.  All the other kids were on it... but Crystal wasn't.  Her stomach began to drop.  She turned around, hung her head and walked back up the walkway.  She realized she was hungry as well.  She never felt more helpless. 

Her mother and father were both at work.  It seemed that she was going to have to call one of them.  She hated the thought, for she knew her parents did not like being interrupted at their jobs. She walked slowly along the sidewalk, looking down at her feet, taking one step at a time.  Here she was, twelve miles from her home and no way to get there.  She tried not to be angry with herself.  But she just wanted to bury her face in a pillow and scream.  Or maybe just cry. 

Curt was on his way out to his jeep that fateful Friday afternoon, when he saw the long flowing blond hair of some young girl leaning her forehead up against her locker door, with her eyes closed. He glanced over, taking in for just a moment her sheer beauty, then continued out.  He wondered what might be wrong, but it appeared that she wanted to be left alone, so he left her alone.. 

Something made him stop after he got outside, however, and he looked back at the girl through the glass window of the door.  She was looking back, but quickly looked down again when she saw that he had turned around. 

Crystal sighed to herself. Why is he looking back at me?  She thought.  Why does anybody waste their time caring about me... 

Curt watched the girl for a few seconds, sighed to himself, and worked his way back into the building.  He stopped five feet away.  He was nervous, but his instinct of kindness eventually overpowered his fear.  If I don't find out what's wrong, he thought, I'm going to wonder about it for the rest of my life. 

"Hi," he said. She looked at him silently. "Are you alright?" He was afraid he might be disturbing her at a bad time, but those eyes were to die for.  To die a hundred thousand times for. 

"I'm fine," she answered, looking down again.  Wonder why he's talking to me, she thought. I got myself into this, it's my job to get me out. 

"Okay," Curt responded. "If you say so." He turned around, and opened the door. So it appeared she did want to be left alone after all. Curt was somewhat disappointed that she wouldn't talk to him. Before he got outside, however, the girl spoke again. 

"You got a quarter?" It came out breathy. She felt ashamed she was having to ask someone for something so small. 

"A quarter?" Curt reached into his pocket and produced a quarter.  He gladly approached her and handed it to her.  Wow, Curt thought to himself, she smells good. 

"Thanks," she said, smiling briefly at him. She truly glowed when she smiled. Wow, he sure smells good, she thought to herself. 

Curt smiled back at her. "My name is Curt," he offered her his hand.

"I'm Crystal." She shook his hand.  "Thanks again. I gotta go call my Mom-- sigh-- I missed my bus."  She couldn't believe she was blurting her problems off on a total stranger. 

"Oh?" Curt held the door open and followed her outside. "So, where do you live?" 

"Up across from the bank," she answered, pointing in the appropriate direction. 

"Oh!" Curt exclaimed. "How about that?" 

"What?" 

"That's right on the way to my house.  Would you like me to just drop you off?" Please say yes, please, please say yes...  Curt loved nothing more than being given an opportunity to help someone. 

Crystal was a bit bewildered at first.  Normally, she was very uncomfortable interacting with people, but Curt had such a comforting look in his eye, that Crystal felt drawn to him in some strange way.  Of course she wasn't about to tell him that.  She merely accepted his offer quietly and together, they walked to his jeep.  Why is he doing this for me?  She thought to herself. Does he think I'm cute or something?  Well I don't know about me, but that's some nice hair he's got! Long, dark, just... perfect! 

While riding in the jeep, Crystal stayed fairly quiet, giving brief answers to his questions, and saying very little otherwise.  A shy girl, Curt thought to himself.  But her voice was so soft, it floated on thin air like a butterfly.  He wished she would use it more. 

Finally at one point, Crystal actually asked Curt, "What makes you so interested in my personal life, anyway?" 

Curt shrugged. "I dunno. Just like to get to know you better." 

"You really wanna hear about making things out of clay and writing poems?" 

"Sure!" Curt exclaimed. "You didn't seem to mind hearing about me and my father building the treehouse.  Why would I mind hearing about you?" 

Crystal thought about it.  She loved hearing about other people's personal lives, why had she always been so reluctant to share her own?  Perhaps...  "well, because mine is boring." She didn't really think her life was boring, but she became very self-conscious when she would talk about herself.

"Yours is not boring, it's fascinating!" Curt exclaimed. "I guess it seems boring to you becuase you live it everyday, though, huh?" 

"Maybe," Crystal answered.

"Where did you get the little stone?" he asked her, indicating the inch wide sapphire embedded in a silver heart with a lace pattern around the outside, pinned over the top button of her shirt.  It had been one of the first things he noticed about her; and it surely enhanced her beauty. 

"My grandmother gave it to me when I turned thirteen," she explained. "She passed away four days later..." 

"I'm sorry." 

"Nah, it's alright. I never really knew her anyway... but it is quite beautiful.  You think so?" 

"It's gorgeous," Curt said, struggling harder than he expected to have to, to keep the unspoken part unspoken. 

"You know," she continued, realizing she suddenly had nothing to lose, except a little self-doubt. "This is why I missed the bus. I had to run back and get this." 

"Oh yeah?" Curt said, taking off into a fit of laughter. Crystal was bewildered, and suddenly extremely embarrassed.  "I'm sorry," he said through his laughter.  "It's just... I'm sorry."  He continued laughing. 

Crystal  began to laugh along with him when she realized he was laughing more alongside her than at her.  Thank God, she thought to herself.  I knew he couldn't be that insensitive.  She laughed even harder as they continued, laughing more at the laughing itself than whatever had originally started it.

It occured to the both of them that nothing quite brings two people together quite the way mutual laughter does.  The sight of Crystal laughing gave Curt goose bumps. 

Amazing, Crystal thought... I make a mistake, and rather than refusing to help and getting upset with me over it, he pulls me out of it and laughs with me over it?  Curt reminded her of her father, who was the most undersanding person she had ever known.

Curt pulled over to the curb by her house. "Well, here we are!"  He announced triumphantly.  Crystal smiled at him. 

"Thank you," she said. She got out, and before shutting the door, Curt spoke, "Crystal?" She looked back inside at him. He continued. "If you ever need anything, ever, just let me know, okay?" 

She smiled again at him, slightly puzzled. "Okay." Whatever you say, she thought. You wanna be my sole provider, I don't guess I can argue with that. 

Curt watched with uncontrollable desire as Crystal skipped away to her house, and finally he pulled back onto the road and drove home, singing to himself... Ya better start makin' my love, cuz I'm in need of a miracle." 

Curt was a big hit with all the girls, but deep inside he was looking for someone who could raise his interest without even trying to, without expecting all the flirtatious backtalk.  Crystal seemed to want to hide herself from being interesting, but it only made her more intriguing to him. 

Crystal scurried up the stairs, jumped onto her bed, buried her face in her pillow and cried.  Omigod, he's so cute. Why does he care about me? Why does he have to be so nice? Her thoughts took no direction, they just randomly came and went, as they often do in the minds of obsessive crush victims.  But eventually they all led to one thing:  He's got a girlfriend, I just know it. He's too cute to be single. He's too nice!  He's probably got girls hanging all over him. He's probably going to some girl's house right now. Why does he want to waste his time with me anyway? There's girls in that school that are ten times prettier than me. Oh my God... Why did he say I could ask him if there was anything I needed? Is there something he wants to give me?!

Over the weekend, the incident slowly seeped away from her memory, but she still constantly thought about him.  Sunday morning, she tiptoed downstairs in her flannel pajamas and grabbed a phone book, then took it up and sat in the center of her bed with it in her lap.  She nervously opened it to a random page. Then suddenly she remembered.  "I don't know his last name..." she whispered to herself out loud. She shut the book and collapsed back onto her pillow and fell back asleep. 

Curt, in the meantime, thought of it many times himself. Not quite as often as Crystal, though.  He had done the favor several times for many different people. Occasionally, now and then, the vision of Crystal's shining face popped up in his mind, and he smiled to himself.  I'm gonna make her open herself up more, he usually thought. Crystal was the kind of girl that deserved to be seen, for she was truly beautiful in his eyes. 

"So who was the girl?" Todd asked in his usual manner, speaking about twice the speed of any normal person. 

"Her name's Crystal," Curt replied, downing the last of his soda. "Man, what a beauty." He and Todd were hanging out in a local bar. 

"Yep," Todd said, sighing to himself. "What's up with you anyway?  Why are you being so quiet?" 

"I don't know," Curt said, "I just... there's parts of me I want to explore, to let out." 

"Yeah? ....Well come on, then, bring it out, what's happening in that little pea brain of yours?" 

"Watch it," Curt said, pointing at Todd, suppressing his own laughter.  He sighed to himself, then continued. "I don't know, I can't do it around you, it's just... like..." 

"Aw, man! Whatcha talkin' about? Curt, I'm your best friend man! You can tell me anything you want!" 

"No I can't, you wouldn't understand." 

"Wouldn't understand? I don't understand now, how much worse could it be to tell me?" 

"It's a girl thing," Curt said, suddenly turning beet red at what he had just said. The two busted out in boisterous laughter.  A minute passed of nothing but laughter between the two of them.  People stared.  Silence followed.  Todd sighed. 

"You like her, don't you?" Todd said. 

"I didn't say that." 

"You got the hots for Crystal, that's what it is, isn't it?" 

"Didn't say that either." 

"Well what do ya say, then?" 

Curt crossed his arms, looking across the bar. "I'm sick of playing around. I just want to make someone's life more worthwhile." 

"You want to make Crystal's life more worthwhile, that's whatchoo want." 

"I didn't say that." 

"Well that's what you meant." 

"Okay!  So I want to make Crystal's life more worthwhile.  Have you ever really looked into her eyes?" 

"Not really." 

"She's sad.  She's lonely!  She needs someone to hold onto.  Someone like me... the me that I've been holding back." 

"Ohhh," Todd mumbled. "It's a girl thing alright." 

"Shut up." 

"So," Todd continued. "What's she goin' to do for you?" 

"She doesn't have to do anything for me," Curt replied. "As long as she smiles at me, that's worth more than a million dollars." 

"Surrrrre." 

The bartender interrupted, "Can I get you two boys some refills?" 

"Sure," Todd answered politely. "Root Beer for me, make it a soda for her," he pointed at Curt. 

"Todd! You're crazy!" 

"Hey you said you couldn't show me 'cause I wouldn't understand? No I understand, believe me. I understand exactly what you're getting at." 

"You do?" 

"Yeah I was the same way, me and my girlfriend Melissa, of course she had to bring it out of me, ya know, but seriously man, I understand!  It ain't nothin' to be ashamed of." 

Curt looked at Todd. "You're a true friend, you know it?" 

"I know it."

The following Monday, Crystal watched Curt from the library door.  He was talking with one of his friends.  Soon, he would be walking her way.  She wanted to thank him again for the ride, but her whole body was trembling with anticipation. Oh what if I mess it up, she thought...  What if he just says "Hi" an walks on by... What if he doesn't even see me?!  Before she knew it, he was headed in her direction.  She took a quick breath.

Closer he came, as she continued to tremble.  Finally, as he passed by, he glanced at her.  She totally melted and couldn't manage more than a wave and a smile. "Crystal!" he shouted so loud, she thought the whole school might have heard it.  He approached her. "How have you been?" 

He noticed she was trembling.  "You okay?" 

"I'm fine... just... cold," she tried to make an excuse, but in the month of April that wasn't going to be usable for much longer. 

"Awww, come here," he said, walking even closer... and closer still. Oh my god, what's he doing? Next thing she knew Curt had his arms around her. 

"Oooooooh," Curt's friends stood nearby, taunting his behavior and laughing among themselves. 

"Oh would you knock it off!" Curt looked at them, "I'm just keeping her warm." The group continued on their way, and the laughter among them continued as well.  Crystal was hardly even aware that they were there; she had closed her eyes.  She felt an incredible sense of security inside his arms.

Finallly he let go of her. "There," he said. "Feel better now?" 

"Yeah," she answered with a sudden surge of confidence. "Hey I just wanted to thank you again for what you did for me." Now if only she could find a way to tell how much she appreciated his shameless display of affection. 

"Well," he said in response, "The pleasure was all mine." Is it just me or has her smile gotten bigger? "Look, I gotta get going," he continued. "You wanna sit together at lunch today?" 

Crystal gulped. "Um, you and me?" 

"Yeah," he said, giving her a gentle, understanding look.  He could tell she was very nervous, and he wanted to make her feel more comfortable.  "Table B4, at the far back end, okay?" 

She nodded, smiling into his eyes.  He smiled back.  Oh my God, she is so beautiful. I wonder if she has any idea how beautiful she is... 

At the lunch table, Crystal nibbled nervously on her cornbread until Curt showed up. She had no idea what she was going to say to him.  She told herself to relax, but it was harder than it had ever been before.

Curt arrived, and they sat together at one corner of the table. "So," Curt said, opening his carton of milk. "What did you do this weekend?" 

"Well," she started, "it was pretty boring. Just sat around doing nothing all day." Thank God he knows how to start a conversation, she thought. 

"Yep, that's my kind of weekend," Curt said, adjusting his position. 

"Really? I figured you were probably hanging out with all your friends all the time." 

"Yeah, sometimes..." Curt stopped. "I don't know. There's just this part of me that needs to be alone now and then. You know?  I love to write just like you do. It's
like therapy.  If I go for two days without writing what I'm feeling, I get really disoriented and depressed even." 

"Yeah, that's me too," Crystal added, surprised that anyone else got that way besides her. "I don't think anybody besides me knows who I really am.  I'm just a nobody around here." 

"Well," Curt said, "if it makes you feel any better, I don't think anybody around here really knows me either." 

"They don't? All those friends don't know you?" 

"Well, I turn into this real smooth cool dude when I'm around them, just to fit in, to be a somebody. But there's this part of me inside that I don't show to anybody..." Curt was even beginning to feel nervous himself. "And that's the real me, but he would be a nobody around here." 

Crystal tilted her head and looked at him sympathetically. "You're not a nobody... not to me!" She suddenly realized she was not nervous at all.  It was like talking to her brother. 

"I can't believe I just told you that." Curt sighed loud. 

"Well I'm glad you did." 

"I know," he looked at the sapphire heart over her collar, "you see me hanging around girls all the time...you might say 'Well, what a lucky guy.' But you know, it's not that great. A lot of them do what they do for attention... to get all hot and steamy for just one shining moment.  But there's no feeling behind it, it's all just mindless flirting among the physically gifted.  Then there's girls like you, who stick to themselves, they quietly, innocently walk to class everyday and don't even try to turn anybody on. But among this group of people, in my opinion, are some of the most beautiful girls in the whole school. What makes them beautiful is that they don't try to be... they just are. They don't make themselves beautiful, they just are. They don't look in the mirror and search for beauty, but God knows it's there." 

He looked up from the spot at the table at which he had been staring as he made this speech. He had never dreamed of digging this deep into his soul and sharing it with anyone. 

But Crystal was giving him every bit of her attention. "You really think so?" She was smiling at him. 

"Crystal, I just want you to be yourself." He set his hands over hers on the table.  Her smile had his desire throbbing mercilessly in his chest.  "Believe in who you are. You know you can't be something to everybody..."

Crystal joined him for the second part, "...but you can be everything to somebody." They looked at each other for a few magical seconds, storms in their eyes, and their hands still touching. They couldn't bring themselves to admit it at that time, but they were perfect for each other and they knew it.  Curt was on the edge of losing his lunch from the sheer intensity of his pulsing heartbeat, and Crystal was fighting the temptation to just grab him and squeeze him as hard as she could.

Curt and Crystal ate lunch together every single day after that, and he was driving her home every afternoon as well. 

Crystal found herself growing happier day by day.  The more time she spent with this new friend who always had time to stop and provide solace and comfort whenever she needed it, the more she anticipated the next time they would be together.  She and he were soon hugging on a regular basis, calling each other, writing silly e-mails to each other, and all kinds of little things. They did just about everything a boyfriend/girlfriend would do, without actually calling themselves boyfriend and girlfriend. It seemed more fun to the both of them to keep it "unofficial." 

The strange part about it, though, was Crystal felt like she could spend the rest of her life with him and be perfectly content.  Everything he did was purely magic to her.  The way he walked, the way he held his pencil, the way he turned pages in a book.  With actions such as this being as intriguing as they were for her to watch him perform, no imagination could begin to conceive what she felt when he touched her. 

One crisp overcast afternoon, Crystal had been having a rough day and she was very tired.  After her final class, she unknowingly stood gazing at nothing in particular inside her locker. 

Suddenly, some arms came around her from behind and the hands went into her pockets.  "Hi there," he said. She felt better already. "Hi," she said, giggling to herself, involuntarily shrugging her shoulers as goose bumps popped up from his warm breath on her neck. She couldn't wait to make it home today. 

In Curt's jeep, the steady hum of the engine and the soft tunes of the radio had Crystal dozing in and out of consciousness. Within minutes, she was sound asleep. 

Upon noticing that Crystal was asleep, Curt gazed at her several times, now while she didn't know he was looking. After pulling into her driveway, Curt parked the jeep and held his gaze on the little blonde angel sleeping beside him. One minute passed, five minutes, and eventually ten...then that magical song came on the radio. 

Curt turned it up slightly; careful not to turn it too loud. He hummed softly to himself with the words, pretending as though he were singing to Crystal. 

"And if I should falter, would you open your arms out to me?  We can make love not war... and live at peace with our hearts..." 

Curt did as much of a dance as he could in his limited position, silently clapping, getting that on-stage look in his eye, and lip syncing with the words... And he even went so far as to sneak a pair of sunglasses out of the glove compartment and incorporate those into his performance. 

"I'm so in love with you...  I'll be forever blue; what religion or reason could drive a man to forsake his lover?"

Suddenly Crystal's eyes slowly opened. Curt stopped his wild motion, but not before she caught a glimpse. 

"Hi," he whispered, removing the sunglasses. 

"Oh," Crystal slowly pushed herself up and looked around, dazed. "Curt? Oh, I'm sorry!"  She brushed her hair out of her face with her delicate fingers. 

"Don't be," Curt insisted. "It's perfectly fine." 

Crystal looked at the digital clock in the jeep, which now read "3:38." 

"Um, oh goodness..." She rubbed her right eye.  Curt smiled sympathetically.  She was so cute!!! 

"You okay?" 

"Yeah...  What have you been doing, just watching me?" 

"Yep," Curt said, starting the jeep again, trying to ignore the possible consequences. 

 "Why?"

"Well, I really didn't want to disturb your sleep. You were at absolute peace over there! Besides..." He reached up and ran the back of his fingers gently along her left cheek. "You're certainly more beautiful than any other girl in that school." Curt gulped. Did I just say that? That was the first time he ever went after her with a compliment that
intense. 

Crystal's cheeks turned as red as roses, and she shrugged her shoulders and looked down into her lap.  Curt could see the starry smile she was trying to hide.  Finally, she giggled. "You silly, I'm not pretty. I'm just another girl out there."

"Aww," he responded. "What are you talking about? You are too pretty." 

Crystal giggled again, burying her head in her hands. Finally, she looked up at him. "Nobody's ever told me that before, why are you telling me?" 

Curt took a deep breath. "Well, maybe when they look at you, they don't see what I see." 

"Oh?" she remarked. "Well, what is it that's so great that you see when you look at me?" 

Wow, Curt thought to himself. I sure got her talking now. He knew he had done it this time. He could see desire pulsating in her eyes. Finally he supplied her answer, "I see Heaven." And he wasn't lying. 

Crystal began to weep silently to herself.  Oh my goodness, she thought.  It's happening, isn't it?  It took what seemed like a minute to get the words out.  "Curt I..I'm confused. I don't know what to do.  I'm not used to anyone besides my Mom and Dad talking to me like that.  What do you want me to do?!" She bit her lower lip. 

"You don't have to do anything." He reached behind the left side of her neck with his right hand.  She leaned her head softly into his warm hand, closing her eyes.  He massaged the area just under her ear ever so gently with his thumb.  She couldn't begin to describe how good that felt. Curt continued, "It will come to you, all in good time." He was already proud of how well she was doing. 

Crystal nodded, sniffling.  She enjoyed being with him more than anything else in the world, but would he still be there five years from now... or even one year from now... or even a month from now? 

She still wanted to do something.  She couldn't stand to obscure the truth.  Finally, the truth that was already there broke out. "But... I would do anything for you," she said to him. 

Curt smiled at her. "See? You're doing it already." 

"I am?" 

Curt chuckled. He reached down, taking her hand into his. She squeezed his hand gently in hers.

"Your hands are cold," Curt said, the concern apparent in his voice.  He rubbed them gently in his own, and decided it was time to tell her.  "All I want you to do is let me love you.  I want to take care of you.  And...  I think I might want to spend the rest of my life with you." 

Her jaw dropped as the shock of his statement flamed through her.  Out of all the people in the world, I'm the one he wants to spend his life with? And of all the people I know, the one I wanted the most was the one who wanted me too... Oh my God, he loves me!!

He smiled at her. "Can you handle that?" 

"Yes," she giggled. Her very breath came and went in trembling repetition. Tears screamed out of her eyes.  Curt could have had any girl in the school, yet he wanted her!  It was all so much to think about. 

"But there must be something I can do for you," she continued, wishing there were some way she could express her aching happiness.

He brought himself closer to her. "Will you kiss me?" 

She backed away, looking down into her lap. "I, um...  I don't...  really know how."  Her heart pounded even more furiously, suddenly drowned in worry that she might not be able to fulfill his expectations.

"That's fine," Curt whispered patiently. "Then would you... let me kiss you?" 

She looked up at him. Curt sensed that she was scared, and backed away.  "I'm sorry," he apologized. "I won't force you if you don't want to." Silence ensued for several seconds.  Curt then spoke again. "I really should be going." He was afraid that he might have ruined their friendship by pushing it one step too far.  He prayed this wasn't so. 

Crystal reached for the door and opened it.  Meanwhile, she was wrestling with her self-doubt, the same self-doubt that had caused her to miss out on so much in life.  She paused halfway out the door of the jeep.  This is it, she thought, why should my self-doubt control my life?  ...No more of this, I'm taking the plunge, she pledged to herself.  She then climbed back in and shut the door. She looked at Curt. "I want you to kiss me." Her heart was pounding like a sledgehammer.  But she would rather try and fail than to never try at all. 

Curt smiled reassuringly at her.  He was incredibly relieved that she decided to take the next step with him.  "You'll be fine," he promised, moving slowly towards her.  She leaned into him and allowed him to enter her. He was very slow and gentle. She soaked up his juices for several seconds, then some unknown force provoked her to enter into him.  She was scared, but so alive.

She brought her arms around his body, holding him as if to say "Please don't go away."  She couldn't believe she was actually doing it. No one had taught her how, somehow she just knew. It was a spiritual second nature, something she had always known. It was a natural expression of Love, and she was loving him with all of her soul.
 
Curt and Crystal spent several minutes breathing into each other, living together as one. Finally they released, and looked deeply into each other's eyes.

This time, what Crystal saw was not the same person she had seen before.  She had just made herself a part of him, and she could now see herself in his eyes. Curt saw himself in her eyes as well, as he was now a part of her too. She looked more beautiful than ever before. 

He held her chin up with his right hand, and looked at her. "You did so wonderfully," he whispered. 

She smiled at him. "Thank you," she said. She reached around and hugged him again. "Thank you," she repeated.  "I don't know what I would be without you." 

"Well, let's not think about that," Curt suggested. "Now that we're together, nothing can tear us apart.  And I think you should know..." he hesitated.

"Know what?" she let go and looked at him.  "Go ahead, I wanna hear!" she said playfully. 

Wow...  Now it's her trying to get me to talk! He marveled at her total cuteness, then finished his sentence, "I love you."

She buried herself into him and held him again, whispering into his ear, "I love you too."  They sat in each others' arms for all of ten more minutes, just listening to each other's heavenly breath and praising the Lord for bringing them together. 

She looked into his peaceful, reassuring eyes once again. For the first time in her life, she knew what she had said was the absolute truth. For her entire life before, she had always tormented herself with doubt and a lack of faith. Curt's presence seemed to make it all disappear. With him, she knew she could not only do anything, but she could be anything as well. She was going to spend the rest of her life with him.  They kissed some more. 

Truthfully, people cannot love others until they learn to love themselves. Over the course of the next several years, Curt taught Crystal one of the most important lessons in life--to love herself. And as her feelings of self-worth grew, so did her feelings for Curt. After graduating college, Curt and Crystal got married, moved to a small town, bought a house and raised a family. And of course, they lived happily ever after!