If you have any poems, songs, or other stamping related fun stuff you'd like
to add or if you know the original author of the fun stuff on this page please
email me with the info! I am NOT the writer of any of this. These are things
that have been forwarded to me and I have no idea were most of it came from.
This is just a collection for your enjoyment.

LIFE IN A STAMPING GROUP

RUBBER WONDERLAND#2

10 REASONS TO BUY RUBBER STAMPS

• 1. It helps keep the economy going. It is our patriotic duty to support
  rubber farmers, lumber mills, rubber stamp shops and catalog order dealers.
  
• 2. It is less expensive and more fun than psychiatric care.
  
• 3. I'm participating in a contest - The one who dies with the most rubber stamps wins.
  
• 4. They keep without refrigeration, you don't have to cook them to enjoy them,
  you have to feed them, change them, wipe their noses or walk them.
  
• 5. Because I'm worth it.
  
• 6. When the Big Earthquake comes, all the rubber stamp shops might be swallowed into
  the ground and never be seen again.
  
• 7. Stress from dealing with the Rubber Stamp Control Officer (Darling Husband
  made me do it.
  
• 8. It's not immoral, illegal, or fattening. It calms the nerves, gratifies the soul, and
  makes me feel good.
  
• 9. Buy rubber stamps now, before your husband retires and goes with you on all
  your shopping expeditions.
  
• 10. A stamp a day is all the rubber stamp shops of America ask.
  

MORE REASONS TO BUY STAMPS

• 1. Stamps tightly packed in various containers make an excellent insulation for the home.
  
• 2. Buying stamps keeps our economy going. It is our patriotic duty to support stamp stores.
  
• 3. Because they are on sale.
  
• 4. At any moment the employees of a stamp factory might go on strike and limit the availability.
  
• 5. We are participating in a contest. The one with the most stamps wins.
  
• 6. We need extra weight in the trunk of our cars for traction on icy or muddy roads.
  You never know when the weather might change.
  
• 7. Because we are worth it.
  
• 8. Like dust, stamps are good for protecting previously empty spaces in the house,
  such as ironing boards, dining room tables or any other horizontal surface.
  
• 9. Stress from dealing with the "Stamp Control Officer" (spouse) makes us do it.
  
• 10. A stamp purchase a day helps us work rest and play.
  
• 11. Stamps are a proven aphrodisiac.
  
• 12. While shopping for stamps you don't have to worry if they'll fit, or how big
  they will make your hips look.
  
• 13. Stamps don't argue, or get crabby.
  

HOW ADDICTED ARE YOU?

RUBBER STAMP

STAMPERS RULES OF ACQUISITION

• 1) You want it, therefore you need it.
  
• 2) You need it, therefore you must buy it.
  
• 3) All other things you need, including food, shelter, clothing, car insurance,
  and lunch money, are incidental in comparison to what you need for stamping
  
• 4) Never add up the total for what you have purchased for stamping.
  
• 5) If you are compelled to calculate total dollars spent on stamping and
  related items, never count things that are not actual stamps.
  
• 6) If you are compelled to calculate total dollars spent on stamping and related items,
  never include items that cannot be traced via the receipt (ie -- office supplies are office
  supplies, gift wrap is gift wrap -- never mind where it ends up in your house....)
  
• 7) When writing checks from the joint checking account, always write "S.W." in the
  check register. You will know that this stands for Stamp Wares but DH will think it is
  Safeway when he scans the checkbook to see where you have been shopping. And he
  KNOWS groceries are expensive, and you need lots of them.... (editor's note: Substitute
  the grocery store in your city for Safeway; here it would be Sentry...[S. is for....])
  
• 8) If a member of your family discards an item that is usable for stamping, you may
  replace it. For example, your husband receives a shirt as a gift - if he throws the tissue
  paper away you may purchase a replacement. You do not have to replace it with the same
  white tissue paper. This applies to candy bar wrappers that your kids throw away too,
  however they are not permitted to eat the replacement candy!
  
• 9 If everyone else wants it, then you must want it too -- even if you don't know what
  it is. (case in point -- one word -- "blitzer")
  
• 10) If everyone else wants it, even if you don't know what it is, and you find it
  on sale, buy it ALL. (Editor's note: This phenomenon is widely known as the SALE factor,
  and is the only situation in which the Stamper may completely ignore Rules of Acquisition
  #5 and #6, and announce gleefully how much money s/he has SAVED by purchasing said
  items. (This suspending of the rules is dependent upon: a) the actual percentage off b) the
  total dollar amount spent c) the projected reaction of partner/other interested party.
  For more detailed worksheet on Rule Suspension see Stampers' Rules of Acquisition
  Handbook - Chapter 9, Sub- section C, Paragraph 14, and model on facing page.)
  
• 11) Grabbags MUST be purchased at they time they are advertised. There very
  likely could be that ONE special stamp you cannot live without, and the others work for
  RAKS! If you don't order immediately, you may lose that special stamp.
  
• 12) Keep *everything*, no matter how useless or ugly or small it may be.
  It *will* become absolutely essential for a rubber project some day.
  
• 13) When you buy something, use it before you read the directions.*
  (*Acquisition reasoning -- if you mess it up or break it, you get to buy another one...)
  
• 14) Every stamper MUST own every type of glue that is on the market
  However, s/he may restrict use to her/his favorite.
  
• 15) Whenever a new stamp pad is made available, you must immediately purchase
  every one of the colors in which it comes.
  
• 16) When getting a stamp for a particular project it is imperative that you buy
  the same image type from a variety of companies (a minimum of 3 is recommended).
  Once you actually sit down to make the project you will find that it is much better that
  you have not limited your selection to just one option of the image.
  
• 17) It is essential to have ALL the Fiskar edged scissors even if you know you
  won't use anything but the deckle edge. You never know when having the Victorian hearts
  flourish edge won't be PERFECT!
  
• 18) Get all types of markers, don't limit your creativity to just Marveys and LePlumes.
  Make sure you have a good selection of Tombows, Tria's and even the cheap kind
  you buy at the market!
  
• 19) The iron is NOT for clothes. Anyone who uses an iron for clothes is excommunicated
  from the Stamper's Union. (Editor's note: You may avoid excommunication by following
  subsection B pursuant to rule #23 which in layman's terms translates as "you may use an iron
  for its original perverted purpose only by purchasing an auxiliary iron. However, only the old iron
  may be used for household purposes. Aforementioned perverted purpose is not one that is
  condoned by the Stamper's Union and should be performed ONLY by support staff personnel.)
  
• 20) Tissue paper is for making envelopes and for hoarding.
  Never use it for wrapping packages unless you have stamped on it first.
  
• 21) There is absolutely NO such thing as too much paper...of any kind. Disregard
  nasty comments about the two years worth of New York Times stashed in the boxes at
  the back of the garage. Corollaries here are: a-the complete set of National Geographics is
  worth the $150...they are actually priceless. B-it is perfectly acceptable to save not only the
  wrapping paper on your presents, but all the wrapping paper on everyone's presents...
  c-EVERYHING is exotic paper and should be purchased and/or saved. Including the $24
  a sheet stuff you saw at the specialty store.
  
• 22) If you think there is a ghost of a chance that you might use it in a future project,
  buy it now. Cause if you need it later, you can bet a) you won't be able to find it, b) no one
  will have heard of it and c) there won't be a substitute.
  
• 23) A stamper must purchase appropriate storage containers, shelves, bins, units, etc., for all
  stamping related purchases. A stamper has the right and responsibility to discard all previously
  purchased storage systems in order to purchase a new, more appropriate system at any time.
  

AUNT EDNA