Theo Verelst Christian Relationships Page

Copyright Notice, this page is my intellectual property, and NOT available for transsciption, translation or unauthorized copying or spreading, see main notice page . Sorry for the above, but it seems necessary to make clear that all the materials I present are my own, and have come into being in the ways I've described on various personal history pages, and that I do not accept a sort of 'papal' system of inter-party conferencing without my knowledge or consent. This material is based on my own work which I started about 3 years ago, and any person that seeks to dispute that fact, or disagrees with the content of these pages can start their own pages, email me, or leave a public message on my guestbook, and I guarantee that if it is only remotely decent, I will leave it there and give public account of what I do.

In fact, I would love to have some response, I know some people close to me and not so close to me have accessed my work, and I would say the material is challenging enough to provoke a response. A serious one, because I did not make it challenging on purpose, it is mainly based on straightforward re-translation of biblical materials, and I would very much appreciate intellectual, christian, contentwise or feelingwise (or any combination) public responses. When I start something, I'd like the honour of being in the middle of what it creates, not treated as a leaper. Or would I be to powerfull? Would I expose to much at once? Am i just full of it? Does christianity not allow a single person to have so much to say with so much authority being only 32 years of age (and unmarried)... Or am I just completely wrong? or do I not play the powergame according to (in my opinion mafioso) rules? Please let me in on your thoughts, I've let you in on mine, inpublic, so it seems only fair. Am i too dangerous? Tell me about it, I might actually listen.

The internet is a very suitable means of discussing sensitive and broadly scoped material such as I present, and provides very good means to deal with it both democratically and sensibly, so let's by all means use it.

There are bound to be some greek and hebrew scolars out there that may have something quite important to say or add: please let me know!

Desirable Ways of Having Relationships

The simple picture is that man and women live freely in any social constellation that they themselves, personally see fit, and have relationships simply based on mutual agreement that this is desirable. in other words: let your yes be yes ("do you want a more than causual, or sexual, or lasting, or other relationship?"), and obviously let your no be no.
Pretty simple in my mind.
A matter of liking/loving someone, having the space and time, and the desire.

Notice that the only persons involved in decisions like that are the persons involved in the possible relationship. To me that seems logical, maybe with the extension of information gathering trough third persons, or overcoming of shyness, whatever, but basically it is something that concerns only the people involved, unless something is very seriously wrong.

The time it needs to take to have (or dissolve to other levels again) a relationship I would say is also up to the parties involved: sleeping with someone on the fist night can be just as much a valid thought as learning to know someone in 7 years.

For christians, clearly there is a Source of power that may supersede this natural course of events, and evidently, just like in any other area of life, God should hve the final say in a persons life and decisions (provided the communication is reliable). This is in our society however an option: each christian him her herself is responsible for following Him or not.

This means that I (for good and scriptural reasons, more later) value relationships that come into being by free choice, Gods' will (leave this part out if youdon't believe in Him), and simple, straightforward mutual agreement about what the relationship is about, and of course out of a desire to be with someone.

I would say everything that goes beyond that is possibly evil.

Does this include the complete and unrestraint injoying of every aspect of a relation, including all forms of mature and natural sex? Yes, and considering a lot of scripture, experiences and observations, I would even say that this is quite crucial (not to miss the mark of whoa person and that persons sexuality is).
Does this mean major jerk-off, semi abuse, mafia-type of control yackky, greasy circles with the purpose of claiming to be somebody? Absolutely not, it means more or less mature, completely free people engaging in something they both value and is based on nothing else than mutual desire, resect, and honorability. Not hidden, not a "bending of moral rules to release tension", not for any other purpose than love. And this does explicitly NOT include marriage or engagement or punishment or compensation or track-records or anyting of the kind.

Disagree with that? Why? Because it is so different from what the catholic system and its traditions and doctrines of man and deamons for more than a millenium time of ruling have tought? Because your pastor would loose his/her position? Because it is scary? So is democracy. Let me know your opinion, and if you can't speak your mind out of fear, you can be sure something is not biblical.

Possible Problems and their Solution

Mafioso power structures (a la RC system), games, unrealness, lies, unreliability, taking someones life or bringing someone in bondage, sacrificing to idols (the Baal ?), or selling oneself or another person. Correct ot the above.

Absolute No-no's

Abuse of an unequal situation (actual scriptural words in greek, will look it up) or in general, force, lies (in any form), blackmail, abuse of position, etc.

Taboos that desperately need breaking

One of the reasons Jolanda's (dutch writer) abuse wasn't stopped or easily proovable is the completely ignoring of the whole subjects, including screaming, loads of people ranging from police to doctors and preachers with cars in front of a house without any appearent reason, etc.

There seems to be a common agreement that talking about these type of situtations is going to produce more evil.
I disagree fully. to change that, it must be made manifest, and treated just like any other crime.