~DR. SEUSS' SCARY MOVIES~

November 18, 2000,8:00 p.m.

 I wrote a silly piece of Wold Newton/Baker Street Irregular "scholarship" called "The Kents and the Clarks", following two---ah---unusual family trees.

It's a hobby.

I'm very unexcited by the idea of Jim Carrey as THE GRINCH WHO STOLE CHRISTMAS. Despite my faith in Ron Howard as a filmmaker and Jim Carrey as a living cartoon character, I don't think it will approach anywhere near as close to the original Dr. Seuss idea as Chuck Jones' wonderful half-hour cartoon, narrated by Boris Karloff.

To say nothing of the original book...

How would you make that to a two-hour movie without padding it like mad? Sorry. No interest.

 Now I read that Tim Allen wants to do the CAT IN THE HAT. That he was scared of the story as a child, and wants to do a mildly scary story where the adult human slowly turns into the mischevious feline babysitter---sort of like a werewolf. He wants it to have an "edge".

THE CAT IN THE HAT??

Scary???

Edgy???

I'm sorry, I can't get too scared of a cat whose biggest "crime" is just making a mess---and gets chastised when lectured by a fish...

Every kid can make a mess. That's the part you empathize with, in THE CAT IN THE HAT.

I hate to think who will star in HORTON HEARS A WHO...

 What's next?

Van Kilmer as CURIOUS GEORGE?

Ben Afleeck as BABAR?

Some things really do work better as cartoons.

I can't believe with the thousands of would-be screenwriters waiting to break into Hollywood, the best ideas they can find for a movie is a remake of THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS. I really can't.

 OTOH, I'm really looking forward to the new DUNE miniseries, with John Hurt as Duke Leto. What I've seen of the trailer/ads of it looks really promising.

I want to see new things never adapted to the screen before. I don't want to see a remake. I don't even want to see the cute booties of CHARLIE'S ANGELS kick other people's booties.

I want someone to make RINGWORLD. (It would cost a fortune in special effects, but that's the point...) Or MORE THAN HUMAN. Or ODD JOHN. Or SIRIUS. THE MANICHORE. THE GLASS BEAD GAME. THE LESSER TRUMPS. I'd like to see more of John Dickson Carr's Dr. Fell stories adapted to movies.

The best movies start with a book, that starts with a single vision, rather than a group production.

 Instead, the world continues to deteriorate. Item: the Olsen twins, Mary-Kate and Ashley, are teenagers, or 'tweens, or something, looking rather like Brittley Spears before she, ummm, "bloomed". In a few years, will they be doing bestselling videos and be on every radio station.

The mind boggles.

The rhetoric on the recount is getting shrill and ridiculous, telling us how untrustworthy hand ballots are. Yeah. I guess Abraham Lincoln and George Washington (who won by hand ballots) shouldn't have really won...

Now the Republicans are hinting at vote fraud. If only the Democrats will not reply in kind, they'll look as ridiculous as they (the Republicans) are---vote fraud in front of twenty cameras, yeah, right...

I want to see a movie about this election, though. Or the afterelection, anyway. I think that would make a killer movie...

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Forum Question of the Day:

What was the silliest idea for a movie you ever saw?

Or you can answer...

What comforts you?

Make a prediction about the far future.

Have you ever felt your vote was wasted?

What are YOU an ingrate about?

Other Questions

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one year ago today : BREAKING AND REPAIRING .

two years ago today : (Better viewed in Netscape or IE 5) THE THEORY AND PRACTICE OF SUPER-STRENGTH

Three years ago today: (Better viewed in Netscape or IE 5) TRUCE OR CONSEQUENCES

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