My name is Brian Disagree and I am 22 years old. I have been diagnosed with Pervassive Developmental Disorder ('94), Asperger's Syndrome ('95-96) and Major Depression in ('92). I also believe I have Agoraphobia (Kinda started in '93 mildly), Paranoia ('93 mildly as well), Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ('93 as well mildly). I have also had very mild problems with hearing and seeing things that weren't actually there, again this is very mild.

I used to think Satan was inside me as well. This might be because of when I was in a christian bible camp when I was a child called, "Hope Bay Bible Camp", I was high on sugar and having my usual behavioural problems and they held me on the bed and said to me, "Satan is inside you!, Satan is inside you!" numerous times. I also have had behavioral problems since I was a very young age and maybe since I was born. I also have learning problems of some sort of another, for some reason my brain turns off in a school atmosphere, and I have no clue why this is. So, basically school or anything based in this kind of atmosphere is a waste of time if I want to gain knowledge of any subject.

I'm really scared right now because the world in general from what my eyes have seen doesn't know anything about Mental Illness and how to treat it. My recent psychiatrist told me to "Snap out of it" and "Get on with your life", this ignorance of mental illness is bullshit. I'm surprised by someone as old as she is maybe in her early 60's and years dealing in psychiatriy can come up with a lame excuse for what she would think was an answer to mental illness.

To this day there really isn't any sufficient answers to the mental illness (or in general?) I have. I have been to atleast four or five psychiatrists and they have basically told me all the same things in one way or another that they basically don't know what to do. I don't even understand why they decided to go into the psychiatry field if they want to help people with mental illnesses, all they seem to do to me is ask me which medication I wish to receieve (buy) or atrocious comments like "Snap out of it" from these psychatric "doctors". With the amount of knowledge of mental illness these doctors (in general) seem to have, it looks like they have gotten their psychiatry degree from a cereal box of some kind. Most likely the cheapest cereal you can find.

I really hope the psychiatry field isn't this uneducated or lame elsewhere in the world. I am recieving psychiatry in Canada. An ex girlfriend of mine said she has recieved great help from her psychiatrist and the medication they have given her to help her mild depression problem. Maybe, doctors can help people with mild problems but my problems have been here from anywhere from 8 years to 20 years, basically my whole life. I didn't even realize these problems existed till atleast 1991. Which is when I was 15 years old.

I don't know how much longer I'll be alive, or how much longer I'll be building this website to the cool thing it is (I don't think it's cool, I've been told it is though, I'll take your word for it!), or how long I'll have a roof over my head. The world will most likely throw me on the street to live with all the other poor people they have "discarded" who have mental illnesses and/or are poor financially because of the selfishness of most of this world. I can expect to be around for maybe a year or two more to build this website and keep it going on a daily and bi-daily basis. After that I will most likely be living on the street in some small corner in some small dirty part of this world where I will be "discarded" and "filed" by the upper class of this world because they think I'm "worthless" to their capitalist game/scam.

Isn't it sadly amusing how the rich can rip off the poor (and the earth) legally and get away with it? While the poor can't rip them off illegally and get away with it? It's about time we either throw the rich in jail for their crimes against humanity and the poor people of this earth are allowed to steal from the rich or even better let's throw the rich in those for-profit jails they have made!The rich are the real criminals in this world and one day they will pay for their crimes against humanity and mother earth. Let's just hope it's before mother earth punishes them.