No moving parts, no batteries,
No monthly payments and no fees;
Inflation-proof, non-taxable,
In fact it’s quite relaxable;

It can’t be stolen, won’t pollute,
One size fits all, do not dilute.
It uses little energy,
But yields results enormously.

Relieves your tension and your stress,
Invigorates your happiness;
Combats depression, makes you beam,
And elevates your self-esteem!

Your circulation it corrects,
Without unpleasant side effects.
It is, I think, the perfect drug;
May I prescribe, my friends,… the hug!
(And of course, fully returnable!)
Henry Matthew Ward