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I wish I was as s i m p l e as this page but thats not very likely...I feel like a ...d i s e a s e... s. o. m. e. t. i. m. e. s. Lack of sleep makes matters w o r s e,with the way I feel at least... I just feel alot more at e a s e and like a l i v i n g being when I c a n do what I feel I need to get done in t h e e a r l y a. m. After this p a s t year I feel like my insides are at their best killing s c h e m e s when I s l e e p.... method of murder..... nothing other than... [ d. r. e. a. m. s. ] d r e a m s are nothing more than our o w n minds teasing us to emotionally fall over on o u r backs We a w a k e after some b e a u t i f u l dream with our [ h. e. a. r. t. s. ] in our throats... because it was so A m a z i n g that our adrenaline was still building up like a t s n a m i.... Then you sit up and W o n d e r... Could it ever be something more? C a n I really feel what I thought was r e a l again? I really liked my h e a r t throbbing against my esophagus the w a y it was a mere f e w M o m e n t s ago... Am I that [ l. u. c. k. y. ] a m I r e a l l y ..... t h a t [ l. u. c. k. y. ]

return me into the arms of..:

set a view inside my mind,I can see the sky rather well holding your hand and dreaming of a perfect life with all sorts of beautiful images that trace the lines of your lips...all these things I find myself dreaming of once again but yet its not killing me like I thought it would.Such a beautiful cherade,I wish I could feel this way every day...your time,my time...such a specail moment awaiting still....sleep only promises so much...its not much for physical appearance and simple lines of feeling and emotion...more like a exo-skeleton....I wish I could feel a kiss so far away and feel warmth from a hug when I look in a different sky...its not likely but it is...I'm making it seem real because inside and out it is no matter what.fuck,I'm fighting with myself again....where are you at this hour? I'm stuck thinking to myself.I love it,it makes me feel whole,one hundred percent.no I'm tracing my memory and finding the features in you,I can kiss the darkness and pretend that your really there,arms held out.....the silent sound of comfort.....I think I'm going back to sleep...... so fucking charming to watch me grow worthless........

this is my song to you,I feel like its an apology...I beautiful hurt...I'm not scared.....can I feel you up against me...your words dancing in my mind as they enter my ears...I stopped for a moment....I'm coming back into a more rational state... how are you?? are you scared? can I tie back the glow I can see and feel in your eyes? I will paint my landscape reality for you and lay it out with so many loving gestures and actions ....I wish I had charm.....