THIS IS MY STORY

HI MY NAME IS STEVEN

This picture taken when I was 11 years.

Guess What I'm 13 Now

I'm a teenager now

This page was Started in 1998, and its now 2000.  I will continue to write Stevie's Story throughout his growing up years. 

I have FAS,  my mom & dad tell me I'm special because they love me even though I sometimes loose control and get very angry, and break things, I really don't mean to do those types of things.   I came to live with my grandmother (mom) when I was born, because my mommy couldn't take care of me, she was to young and just wanted to go and party all the time. So I lived with my grandparents, aunts, and my daddy.    Mom said I took a long time to learn to do things, I think I was 7 before I could tie my own shoes.  I was 9 before I learned to ride a big bike. I'm still working on learning to read and write, but mom says one of these days I'll get it. 

     I'm in special education classes, at my middle school.   You know what I've always been in special classes ever since kindergarten.  From 1st grade until 4th grade I was placed into what they called a self-contained class.  You see I had problems with the other kids, teachers and the school thing.  Well when we moved to this little town we now live in called Madras, OR.  They decided to put me into regular classes, with ERC help... (Yea Right).  Well I'm now back in ERC on a full time basis, regular classes just didn't work out.  Well I can say now that School didn't work out either.  I'm now in a Treatment Program, and have to live away from home for awhile.  Just until I can get things together. (you know my temper)

It's really  hard to be different then the other kids in your classes.  They all can read and write and do math. Some real good some not so good, but you see I can't do it at all. Kids would pick on me because I was different. I'm not different just a little bit slower then them.  They would tease me, and I would get mad, and fight with them. Sometimes I just can't control my temper at all.  I'm always getting in trouble at school, they keep sending me to what they call the solution room, just can't figure out what I'm to resolve in there, but its quite.  

I'm really good playing baseball, football & basketball.  I know all the stat's on the players from the major leagues, and NFL.   See I'm not DUMB.  I can learn if they would just teach me in my language sports.  I love WWF.  But mom says I shouldn't watch it because it makes me wild. 

Mom has spent all my life trying to get me help with my problems, but they just don't get the message.  My IQ is a little low so they say   65 to 70.  I don't learn things very easily it takes a lot of work to teach me anything, and teachers just don't have the time to work with me for longs periods of time.   I get very upset because they expect me to learn something and I can't so I get really really mad at them, and tell them off.  Then their is my Mental health worker, I see him once a week, we talk about WWF, and he lets me earn watching it.  That's great, but I have a real hard time earning the points to watch it.  He expects me to not hit my brother, and not through a fit and get mad, go to school and do my work and not get mad at school, then not get mad at my brother at home again.  before I can earn the time to watch WWF, its pretty hard to do, sometimes I just make it. other times I blow it, and have to wait and try again next week. 

You see my brain just doesn't work like your brain would. I get mixed up a lot of the time, and forget what I should be doing, I have a lot of trouble when people change things on me.  You see my mental health worker keeps saying that I have ADHD, Well let me tell you I can sit still for hours on end if its something I like to do.  Like playing with my play station, or watch a good movie or play on the computer  No one understands my problems, You just can't expect me to do things fast and sometimes I forget what I'm doing, you can't make changes on me I understand one routine only and when a person changes that routine I get confused, which gets me real upset

I don't blame anyone for my behavior or my problems its just me.  A child with FAS, I can't help what I do or what I say.  I'm learning slowly but I'm learning. God just have patients with me and I will learn. Maybe I won't be like you but I'll be able to be smart enough to go out and face the world with help.  That's all I want is to have people realize that I'm Steven with FAS, Its not my  fault its my real moms fault she didn't know that drinking would do this to me, no one told her what drinking could do.  But Mom if you ever read this, I forgive you for being you.  I just hope people can forgive me for being me....

A PERSON WITH "FAS"

1999 - 2000

Well its 1999 thru 2000  and alot has happend to me this past year.  Things got so bad at school and at home, I had to go to a group home,   Mom was not happy about it, but she thought it would be the best thing for me. I spent the year in the Home, What mom didn't know was that this home was just for Behavior Modification, and schooling.  She was lead to believe that I would get mental Health support there. Well in the year I was there I never saw anyone from mental health.   This group home thought all I needed was behavior Modification, that I was in total control of my Behavior, and was doing things on purpose. Well after the year was up, the group home I was in closed down, so I was sent home.  Things were not the same when I got home,  now it was just Mom, my Brother, and 2 Sisters (aunts).   My Dad (grandpa), had passed away while I was gone.  Everyone felt that maybe I should go to another home, but SCF said I either go home or to a foster home, and Mom said no way, thats not what I need.  Well its been almost 7 months since I came home, and things are not to good, I'm fighting with my brother all the time, at least this time the school is working with my mom, and I have a 1on 1 all day, so that helps a little.   When I'm not at school, I spend all my time in my room, playing with my play station, thats all I want to do, and it keeps me from getting mad at everyone, especially my brother I won't let him in the room except to sleep.     Mom can't work because she has to take care of me 24/7, which is really hurting the family.  We have to sell our home, and then were moving to California, where Mom says I can get the proper help I need, sure hope she is right.  One thing for Sure Oregon isn't  were the help is.  Well it's almost Christmas and a new year. 

Fas Poem Please read the poem