My name is Kanneko-chan. This is my fan fic, Part One, entitled "As Long as You Love Her." ~~~~~Authors note: I do not own Sailor Moon. Much to my dismay... :) It is probably owned by a VERY rich person with VERY scary lawyers that are not to be trifled with... They would probably cheerfully eat me for breakfast if I did not say that, so don't sue me please. I am flat broke at the moment... :( But I would absolutely LOVE to hear whatever you have to say about my story. C&C is VERY welcome. ^ _^ Thanx, the author, Kanneko-chan =(*_*)= As Long As You Love Her... "SERENA, I just don't feel the same as I used to, alright?? That was a thousand years ago this is now, as Darien!!!!!!! I don't love you anymore, OK? Just leave me alone, I don't want to see you anymore, got it!?" "Darien!..." Serena choked,"You don't mean that ,do you? Don't you remember? Remember our locket?? Our kingdom?? Darien!!!!!!!!" Darien looked away quickly as Serena mentioned their locket. " Yeah, I remember, I just don't want that anymore... No, I want something entirely different... So just leave me alone, OK? Just go!"Darien stated as harshly as possible. Sobs tore from Serena's throat and tears flowed down her cheeks as she gave one last glance in Darien's direction, and when she saw his stony glare, fled the apartment... ********* At that moment Darien was glad he had mastered the art of stoicism at a young age, it had been crucial for Serena to think he hated her but he didn't, he loved her so much that sometimes it hurt. But at this time ,he probably would have killed for that hurt than the emptiness that was quickly stealing over him... Outside Serena ran, ran as fast as she could, and as far away from the apartment building as possible, until she finally fell, and crawled into a phone booth and ,leaning against the cool glass, and sobbed, holding her knees to her chest. She silently screamed at herself, 'What have you done!??? What have you done now to make him hate you!!!????? What did I do to make him forget what we had, then and now? What could erase all the confusion and heart break they had faced to finally find one another?? It was just last week that he had finally said that he loved me!!!!! But, before he had always been saying how dumb and clutzy I was. Maybe he didn't want some dumb and clutzy high-schooler. Maybe, just maybe he wanted some beautiful, sexy college student...' Serena got up, and made her slow way home knowing her mother and Luna would be wondering why she had been gone so long. In Darien's apartment 2 hours later, Reenie sat with a glass of apple juice watching 'The Smurfs', bobbing her Serena -like odangos when she giggled at the characters antics. Darien shook his head in amazement over how much she looked and acted like his Ser- NO-she wasn't his anymore, he had to remember that. To protect her ,he had to remember that, to protect her meant to not be near her... But he still couldn't get over the resemblance, and the attachment he felt towards her and- Darien??" Reenie's voice broke into his thoughts," Could I have more juice? Please??" He grinned at her innocent , childish manners."Of course ,Reenie, come on to the kitchen with me ,OK?" "OK. But how come Serena was here?" He physically winced at the memory of Serena's beautiful face crumbling, and her eyes water ,then overflow when he told her to get lost .... "Well, how come????" Reenie asked, more insistently this time. "Huh? Uhh, well," Darien said trying to think of something ,"She came to return a book... Well, here's your apple juice, wanna cookie?" He asked, knowing the answer. "Yes! Yes!! Yes!!! I LOVE cookies!!! YAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!" He grinned as she ran squealing into the living room, until he realized that's exactly what Serena would have done. ********* As Serena lay in bed that night, with her windows open to catch the late night breeze, she related to Luna her account with Darien. She claimed he would never intentionally hurt her. "...Unless he's a total jerk!!" Luna thought,"I'd love to scratch his eyes out!!!" She grinned in feral delight as a picture of the scouts using their powers to make Darien wish he hadn't decided to mess with their Princess popped into her head... With tears making soft rivers down her pale cheeks, and Luna on her chest, Serena finally fell asleep and dreamed a wonderful dream with 2 lines if a lullaby ringing in her ears : 'And following the moonlight shining in your eyes ; Two lives collide in one endless dance...' *********Darien pulled the covers back and slid into bed, closed his eyes, and prayed for a peaceful sleep. However, all he could see was Serena's face... Clear, innocent blue eyes; her thick, silky, golden lengths... then he saw something he didn't like. He saw her pure, radiant face the way it was when he said he didn't love her anymore... stricken, hurt, crying , grieving... But even then, he reflected, she was absolutely beautiful... Twenty minutes later, Darien gave up the hope of sleeping, sat up and tried to read. Unsuccessful. "URRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!!," he cried in frustration, throwing the book across the room, then thought about what his Meatball Head was feeling right then. ********* "He said WHAT to Serena!??,"Lita exclaimed on the stairs of the Cherry Hill Temple,"Why that little DIRTBAG!!!!! When I'm through with him-" "LITA!" cried an exhausted Luna," You are NOT to beat Darien up in a quiet alley!!!! Is that understood!!!???!!!" "Serena needs us to support her ,you guys, Ami reprimanded her," Not get her boy-friend!" Even though similar thoughts had been running through her head... For days now, Serena hadn't talked or engaged in gossip as usual, or laughed... or ANYTHING for that matter. COOKIES hadn't even cheered her up!!! She had just shaken her head and passed the plate when they had handed it to her. "Ami's right," declared Rei," Even though I know I speak for all of us when I say I'd like to do SERIOUS bodily harm to that rat, Serena DOES need us..." Artemis spoke up then," I agree with both of you guys, I'd even like a shot at him! But Serena has this wild idea that he still loves her.... WHY is beyond me. If I were her, I'd Moon Scepter Eliminate his can!!!!" Just then, Darien had the misfortune to walk by. Before anyone could guess what she was doing , Lita stood up and shouted," HEY YOU!!!" Darien turned to see who was shouting at whom, but when he looked he saw that he was the only one on the sidewalk... THEN he saw Lita. All the scouts were shushing her, and telling her that it wasn't her affair (this came from Ami).Lita politely told them to shut up and resumed her walk towards Darien. By then, however he had decided that it would be wise to keep walking , and get as far from 5 angry friends of his ex-girlfriend, including her cats. "Hey, I was talking to you!!," Lita called , as Darien once again turned around. He groaned inwardly, having a good clue as to what was to come... "I don't know who you think you are, " Lita started ," but nobody, and I mean NOBODY treats Serena like a doormat and gets away with it.. I'm gonna-" Just then the other scouts, with Luna and Artemis in their arms, were at her side. "You know Darien," Ami piped up , surprising everyone present, " you may be a prince, and Tuxedo Mask, but I think even the Negaverse is kinder to their girlfriends than you are. You are NOT a gentleman, and you DEFINITELY don't deserve Serena... No one with a heart is ever that cruel to someone as sweet and innocent and trusting as her!!" Artemis was the first to recover from the shock of Ami's speech. "She's right." He declared ,"The scouts no longer need -" "Or want-," interjected Rei. "Your help," Artemis finished before Rei could say anything. They all walked away then. Except Mina. " He's right, ya know, we don't need your help. We can take care of Serena by ourselves. Without your help, and if you do show, when we're done with the Nega-slease, we'll deal with you the same way!" She turned to go, but before she did, she said sincerely, " We thought you were above that. Above hurting Serena. " Darien sighed, taking in all they had said, knowing every word of it was true. ********* His best friend Andrew was even irritated with him... "Where've ya been!?" he asked Darien , frowning , "for the past 4 days!? Are you sick, or just stupid? What happened?" he asked his friend in concern," A few days ago you said she was the best thing that ever happened to you!! Rita heard from her sister that Serena's class was talking about the effect the moon has on the Earth, and she just started sobbing and wouldn't stop. She ended up going home , or to the office, or something!!! I mean, GEEZ , Darien, one day you're in love, and the next, you say it just wasn't working out!!! You're avoiding her, her friends, the arcade - where she DOESN'T hang out at any more- just in case you were wondering! Heck, yesterday you saw her CAT, Darien, her CAT , and you started power walking away from it!!" "You have NO idea, Andrew!! In my 3 week relationship with Serena, there have been more bumps and clashing heads than your 3 year relationship with Ri-" " Hey, Andrew!! " called his girlfriend Rita," I finally persuaded Serena to..." She trailed off as she watched her friends face turn the color of paste as she saw who was sitting by Andrew. She recovered nicely when she thought about it later, and said , " Hello Andrew. Darien. Well, Rita do you wanna play Sailor V or not?" Serena managed a semi-natural smile, and a half laugh before she left to stick quarters in the machine. Before she joined Serena, Rita gave Darien a good , long, searching stare, shook her head, and called," HEY! Serena!! Wait up!! I wanna play, too!!" " So, spill... Why'd ya REALLY break up with Serena? If I wasn't such a well-educated guy, I'd say you two were destined to be together..."Andrew tried to joke, but couldn't quite pull it off, and, had Darien been listening, it may have come across as sarcastic. But, he hadn't been listening, he had been watching Serena. His Serena. The girl, no, he corrected himself, the woman, who had fit perfectly in his arms, whether he was Tuxedo Mask, Prince Edynmoin, or the Moon Light Knight, she fit perfectly... Whether she was Princess Serenity of the Moon Kingdom, or Sailor Moon, or just plain, silly, Serena, he loved her an any of these forms... But, at least once, in every one, he reflected, he had hurt her. Almost gotten her killed in couple of them, too... Coming out of this painful reverie, he sighed deeply. "What'd you say, Andrew?" "Nothin'. Just do me a favor and get some sleep, will ya?" " Can't. Got stuff to do tonight... Maybe tomorrow, OK?" Andrew had gotten the distinct feeling his friend hadn't heard a word he said, and he also got the feeling that the beautiful blonde playing the Sailor V game had something to do with it. ********* A half an hour later, Rei came into the arcade to get Serena for a 'study session' at her temple. "Bye, Rita, Andrew." They all expected her to ignore Darien, but Serena looked at the area around Darien's shoulder ,"Bye, Darien." Then she blushed. " Yeah, " Darien said as if he couldn't care less, when all he wanted to do was hold her close, tell her that he really did love her and always would. No matter what... and that this was only temporary, that this was all for her benefit, that she would understand later... That this was the only way to keep her alive and safe. "Serena ," Rei said, " you go on ahead, I'll catch up... I... ummm... forgot my purse." "OK." Serena walked out with her eyes on the toes of her shoes. As soon as Serena was out of sight, Rei walked over to Rita , Andrew, and Darien, although she pointedly ignored him as she said," Serena's birthday is Wednesday, we're having a surprise party for her, You're invited." She still wasn't looking at Darien, knowing he got the point. "Tell your personal best friends to come, and it's from 6 to whenever it ends... I'll take Serena shopping, then stop by Lita's. That's where it'll be. If you don't know where she lives, call me, and I'll get directions for you, alright?"Rei gave Darien a look. Even though she still had feelings for him, Serena was her best friend. (even though she wouldn't admit it) Those were had to come by ,and even harder to replace... Good looking guys were a dime a dozen, granted not all came with super powers, but Serena was... well ... just Serena!! And you just couldn't hate someone like Serena... Darien , on the other hand, was getting to even more of an enigma than ever before!!! Rei had seen him watch Serena while she cursed at the Sailor V game. Rei couldn't place it exactly, but she knew it wasn't a look you gave someone you didn't love anymore. ' What's up with him?' Rei wondered as she left the arcade, catching up with Serena . ********* Later that night, Darien was again plague by the dream. It had been the same since the week before he had broken up with Serena; it was the exact same as it had been last night, and the night before that... Darien was finally getting married to Serena... She was absolutely radiant... Wearing a gown of shimmering white silk, with sleeves that hung delicately off her shoulders that were held on by soft silver chains that drooped with the sleeves... she was also wearing a solitaire an her left hand... his mothers' ring!... Her engagement ring! The priest had just said the word he had waited a thousand years to hear... He had just taken Princess Serenity into his arms to give her a kiss that would forever seal them together, but suddenly, Serenity was torn from his grasp!!!! He reached out his arms to catch her, but, she was falling down an endless abyss, calling out for him to help her, but no matter how hard he ran, he could never reach her, or the hole she had fallen down. Now, instead of being in a grandly decorated room, filled with flowers, friends, and wine, he was in a space in time... there was no definition of walls, floors, or ceiling, and he felt as if he was doing a levitation, all the while being spun like a top... "Prince Edynmoin!" a powerful voice commanded his full attention.. and he had it ,all right, but he didn't want to listen, he wanted to find the source of the voice and knock it out... then he'd find Sere "Edynmoin!!!," the voice called again. He was spun in the opposite direction... " Are you listening to me!? It is crucial that you hear every word that I say!!!!" "YES!!!! I'm listening!!! What do you want!?!?!?!? And where's Serenity?!?!? Tell me, now or I can guarantee you'll have bigger problems than whether I'm listening to you or not!! Where is she??" He called out to the voice that seemed to come from everywhere, but at the same time seemed to come from no where at all... "Edynmion!!!," the Voice once again demanded his full attention. "WHAT!?!?!?!?!" "Stay away from the Princess. I know it will be hard, but it is crucial to her safety... Not just hers, but everyone's... Yours, the Scouts, Crystal Tokyo, but especially Princess Serenity's... Do you understand, Edynmoin?" "NO!!! NO, I don't!!! We were meant to be together!!!! What right do you have to order this?!?!?!?!? Answer me!!!!! I demand to know!!!! By what right ???? I said ANSWER me!!!!!!!!" His voice was hoarse with emotion. "Every right, Edynmoin, by every right..." the Voice sounded depressed , but more sad than anything. Darien decided to be kinder. The Voice sounded as though it needed a long vacation. " Why?," he asked a little nicer than before," Why should I leave Serenity alone? I need to know before I agree to anything..." " There is nothing to agree to, Edynmoin, if you don't leave the Princess alone, she and millions of others will die!!!!!!" The Voice had the nerve to sound annoyed with him! He decided he was through being polite to whoever thought that they could do this to him, the Prince of Earth, and on his wedding day, too!!!! " What kind of threat is that!?!?!? I'm the Prince of Earth ,and by God, NO ONE treats me or my fiancee' that way!!! " I KNOW you're a prince will you just shut-UP and listen for 30 seconds!! Please!?!?" It sounded exasperated, this time he was so offended he couldn't think of a single crude thing to say, so he just did what it asked - shut-up. " I'm not threatening you, I'm TRYING to warn you!!! To keep the future Neuro- Queen alive, you MUST keep away from her!! Just until the danger passes-" "What danger?" Edynmoin asked, now curious. "You will find out later, just wait until I tell you to see Princess Serenity, all right? She'll die a slow, agonized death otherwise..." the voice trailed off as Darien again began shouting at the Voice, wanting to know EXACTLY what he meant about that last remark... and... "SERENA!!!!!!" He woke up sitting ram-rod straight in his bed... An hour later, he stood outside the Tsukino house-hold. A light was still on in one of the rooms. He hoped it was Serena's... Then he could tell her... tell her what? That he dumped her because of some nightmare?!? Yeah, right. ********* Serena couldn't sleep. She didn't know what she did, but whatever it was, Darien hated her for it now. She stopped 40 feet short of her house. She had left her light on!!! Now they'd know for SURE that she had left!! And Luna!! Serena could hear her now : Serena! You must be careful!! You shouldn't go out at night alone! You didn't have your crystal, or your communicator!!! what if the Scouts had needed you!?' But then she noticed who was standing in front of her house... "DARIEN!!!!!!!!!!" ********* "Serena!!!," he said, startled, "what are you doing here!?!?" Of course, this was before he realized what a stupid question that was... she just lived there!! " Ummm... well, I kind of live here..." She asked softly, " What are you doing here Darien?" This was it ,Darien thought... No bubbly laughter coming out of her like a fountain, never see her smile... Never even get to call her Meatball- Head anymore. And her smile... the special kind she saved just for him when he was having a rough day, the kind that said ' I love you, I always will, and I don't like to see you sad, so stop it!!'... He'd also never get to stare in her sweet, trusting eyes when he told her he had to work late, never once had there ever been a single complaint the whole month he had worked the midnight tern, she was just glad she got to see him when she was able... He would never get to kiss her, or hold her to him eve again... That was the clincher... Never have her say that she loved him, that, too, almost broke him... But then, he thought, he would rather have her alive and not with him, than dead; and never even get to watch her race to and from school; always squealing about being late for something or other... The silence stretched on... Serena was hoping with all her heart that he couldn't sleep either, and had come to tell her that he still loved her... Somewhere -in her subconscious she was sure she should be angry at him. For lying to her, deceiving her. But most of all breaking her heart. But Serena knew that she could never make him crawl on his hands and knees to get her back, even though the scouts had suggested it, and that when he was finished to tell him to get lost... But, no, she could never do that, she loved him too much... All she had to do was look into his cobalt blue eyes, or inhale his scent... he smelled of absolute masculinity, with a touch of cologne... It was SO comforting... and so was the way he held her to him. She always felt so safe. And when he kissed her... his lips were strong, yet soft, sure , but never demanding... She always felt like she could never love anyone more than her Muffin... She knew that now, in that one moment of reflection, that these were things that she couldn't live without. Just as Darien was about to speak, Serena beat him to it. Tears were flowing down her face as she told him exactly what had been in her heart and head since he had left her. "I love you, Darien, no matter how hard you push me away, I'll always love you... I don't know what I did to make you hate me. I honestly don't... But whatever it was , I'm sorry! So sorry!!! You were so harsh!! And Reenie just pushed it into my face every time I saw her that you didn't love me anymore... I'm sorry.. I don't know-" she broke off to futilely try to stifle a sob-" I don't know what I did!! Just tell me!! Please?!?! I need to know..." Darien had had quite enough of Serena blaming herself, he decided to put a stop to it immediately. "SERENA! Stop it! Right now!! Stop blaming yourself!! It wasn't you!," he yelled in frustration. He couldn't stand seeing Serena in pain. He had once sworn to kill anyone who caused her the slightest pain, and now, he was the one putting her through each and every stage of heart break and pain... Serena stared at Darien after he had yelled at her, tears still streaming... A light went on in the room next to Serena's. ********* Sammy turned on his light and looked outside. What he saw made him so angry that he couldn't see straight... That imbecile was yelling at her!!! The moonlight hit her just so, because Sammy could see the trails the tears had made on her face. The thing he couldn't get over was that he was truly and actually YELLING at Serena!!! It was enough that he had dumped her, but then actually had the NERVE to come to their house at - Sammy darted a quick glance in the clocks direction- 2:30 am !!!!!!! Even though he never admitted it, it had infuriated him to Serena suffer like that. He couldn't and wouldn't stand for it!! He was he brother!! Little though he may be, he was still her brother!! He wasn't going to just sit there and let that bum bully her like that!! Never again!! He marched outside, on a mission... ********* Meanwhile, outside, Serena was stunned beyond words... "What do you mean it's not my fault, Darien?" When he didn't respond immediately, she asked again, this time more urgently. " What , does that MEAN!?!?" Darien put his hands on her upper arms and stepped closer, his vow not to go back to Serena momentarily forgotten, as he told her in hushed tones, " I need to tell you so much. Then I'll tell you what that means, O- ouch!!!!" Neither one of them had noticed Sammy's approach until his foot connected with Darien's shin. " You've got real nerve, I'll give you that much.. But not much else. You had better not touch our Serena again, or I'll really have to beat you!!!" Sammy hoped he looked and acted as brave as he trying to be... Now that he was up close to him again, he remembered that Darien was probably at least twice his size... But now was no time to be frightened, he reminded himself. Someone's gotta make sure that jerk doesn't bother Serena anymore... She was always forgiving people, and being kind to people who were rude to her... He admired that trait in her, but there was such a thing as going overboard... If he didn't do something quick, she might get it in her head to forgive the creep!!!! "Yeah..., " he continued, " you better leave her alone before I get our father out here!! And if I were you hotshot, I'd keep in mind that he doesn't like you very much to begin with!!" Then he walked over to Serena, whose eyes were still watering slightly, and reached up slightly to give her a supportive hug around the shoulders, " Hey, shhh, it's okay. Why don't you go inside and let me finish up here for you, and then we'll ... ummmm," he thought fast, " we'll have some cookies and milk. Yeah!! Mom just made your favorite kind while you were in your room, and we'll raid the fridge and everything!! How's that sound?" He began leading her in the direction of the drive way when Serena told him, " I've got a few things I'd like to say to him, and then you can have at 'im, OK?" Serena really didn't want to tell him off, but she had to make Sammy think that, or else he wouldn't let her talk to Darien... 'I'm being governed by my little brother ' she thought wryly... "Well, all right. For a little while. that means less than 10 minutes Serena!!!" He then turned his attention to Darien , " If you mess with her again, I'll make sure my father helps me get you!! She can do much better than you, ya know." He gave him a quick up and down. "Much better!!" "Yeah," Darien surprised Sammy by saying ,"I know she could do a whole lot better than me... And I know your dad didn't like me much, either..." Indeed he hadn't!! Mr. Tsukino hadn't liked the thought of his daughter going out, or steady with an almost 19 year old college student. By then Darien and Serena had gravitated toward the street lamp, Darien holding her wrist in his hand. The moment they were in the light, however, he dropped it as though it had burned him... In reality, he was afraid being too close to her would make him weak... That was the one thing he could not be right now. It was crucial that he remain strong so he could dig himself out of this mess... He shouldn't have come to see he, but he had to, to make sure she was still breathing... He wanted to tell her, though, all about the dream, and how much it hurt him to break up with her, to try to make her hate him... All he wanted to do was hold her in his arms and kiss her till she wouldn't remember , till all her tears were gone, and they were back together again... "Serena, I'm sorry, I -just , I can't- I-," he stuttered as the prophetic voice echoed,"Serenity... will die a slow, agonized death... You must stay away from her..." Darien regained his composure and slipped into his cold, uncaring facade like a favorite suit. " I thought you were in trouble, okay? But, seeing that you're not," His voice broke on his next words, "I'll go now..." He turned to leave, but stilled on Serena's next words. "Then leave, Darien, because if you don't want to be with me, that's fine," she said, too upset to care what he thought of her now... She was going to tell him exactly what she thought, "Then it's over, Darien. You don't love me anymore. If you don't want me as Serena, then don't help me as Sailor Moon, alright?" Tears again formed in her eyes, but for once, she was too proud to let them fall. She would act brave so he wouldn't see how much he was hurting her... However, Darien saw through her tough masquerade... And it made him want to cry... He said huskily, "Both or nothing, huh?" He hoped to God she didn't mean it. "Yeah, I guess so," Serena said quietly. She was wishing to God that she hadn't given him an ultimatum, and hoping to God he chose both. Somewhere, deep inside him, he knew he should be glad she had just made it easy for him to stay away... But he didn't want to stay away. He wanted to be near her so he could protect her. ' This isn't fair!!!!!' he screamed at the Voice who had haunted his dreams for weeks, ' It's not fair!!! I love her! We belong together!!!! Don't you get it!?!?' He decided that rational thinking hurt too much, so he quit trying. He touched her cheek with his fingers, brushing stray strands of hair away from her face, then grasping her chin. He drew her ever closer, knowing that this was wrong, unfair to Serena, but at this point he was beyond caring. He kissed her softly and tenderly. Serena slowly returned his kiss, praying that it meant acceptance, that he still wanted her... Darien's arms wrapped around her as he pulled her close, still not lifting his head... but when he finally did, he did it slowly, drinking in her every expression, her every movement, memorizing it, so he would never forget... Her rosy, moonlit cheeks, the carnation pink of her perfectly shaped mouth, her pure sweet complexion. Then he looked into her eyes... her sapphire blue eyes, twinkling in the moonlight... He pulled himself away just in time, and he whispered to her with his voice thick with emotion," Good-bye , Serena." He vanished into the blackness of the night. Serena leaned against the street light and sobbed uncontrollably, while Sammy tried to console her, after he had sworn revenge on Darien. (End of Part One)