Welcome to one and all! Let me first make amends for the delay in getting this installment of the story out. I managed to heat-stroke myself to the point of falling over when I walked and then Hurricane Floyd decided to pay a visit. Electricity is one of those things that you never miss until it's gone! This chapter will answer one of the burning questions of this age - boxer or briefs? That and explore what happens when you give in to that little voice that says - "Let's teach this guy a lesson." Revenge is a double edged sword. Never use it if you aren't prepared to bleed. Standard Disclaimer - I don't own Sailor Moon and have no intentions of making a single cent from this work. However, if anyone out there would like to shower me with money, please feel free. Who am I to say to stand in the way of mindless generosity? I live for mail, so please write to me Mearari@aol.com and be kind. Remember, the good you do comes back to you, but bad karma is forever. "Royal Wedding" A Sailor Moon story in a bunch of parts By Meara Chapter Four - "Queen Of Hearts" or "Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better" Usagi held the tiny bundle in her lap as her friends crowded around her. While they had all seen many amazing sights in their adventures, nothing compared to natural wonder that the Queen held ever so gently. The tiny miracle took their breath away. "Oh! How beautiful!" exclaimed Ami almost reverently. Makoto had stars in her eyes as she said, "Perfect, absolutely perfect!" "This was worth whatever pain you went though, Usagi-chan." Added Rei. "Some people have all the luck." Mina watched her friends with a sad smile of longing. She sighed once and looked at Usagi. "And you have to give it back?" She picked up the stunning diamond and pearl necklace. Luna gave the Princess of Venus a black look. "Don't you start too, Mina!" she said in an exasperated tone, "I've told Usagi at least a hundred times..." Usagi gave a dismissive wave, "Yeah, yeah, I know. 'A married woman doesn't accept gifts like this from a man whose intentions are all too well known.' I'll send it back today, but Lord have mercy Luna, it's soooo beautiful." Mina gave Usagi a glance for permission, then put the expensive creation around her own neck. She turned to face a small mirror and put her hand on the stones that decorated her lovely throat. "Well, I'm not married. Can I keep it?" Ever practical, Ami went to Mina and held out her hand. The Senshi of Venus sighed once, and removed it. "Luna is absolutely right" said Ami as Mina gave her back the jewelry. "You really don't want to encourage Jameth now do you?" "I don't know about you, Ami" replied Mako in a dry tone, "But I definitely want to encourage any man who gives gifts like this. Besides, Jameth is a Prince and not all that bad looking." She paused a moment then added, "If you can get past his taste in clothing that is." Ami gave the necklace back to Usagi, who carefully replaced it in the silver velvet box. "I asked about that." The other exploded into laughter as she blushed. "Well asking is the only way to find things out!" "I can just hear you," Rei choked down her mirth and did a creditable imitation of Ami's soft, piping voice. "Excuse me, Prince, but why do you dress like a complete dweeb?" She fell back into laughter at the end and ended up pointing a finger at Ami. The petite Senshi of Mercury slapped at Rei's hand, but smiled at the picture she painted. "It just so happens, I never used the word 'dweeb'. One of Jameth's assistants - the little one with all that red hair - told me that the Prince did some research on Earth customs before they came. He decided on his style of dress by watching old movies." The giggling died down finally and Mina changed the subject. "Speaking of married, Usagi-chan, I checked with the Pastor and that church you like so much is available for the end of the month." "What church" asked Rei, a little annoyed. "Aren't you going to use the Hiakawa Temple for your renewal of vows?" "Sorry, Rei" replied Usagi shaking her head, "But Setsuna said that they best way to get Jameth to back off, and God have mercy I really want him to back off, is to hold it in a big, stone church. She says that the S'Eyre Temples are built in a similar fashion so it'll seem legitimate to even..." she turned to wink at Ami "... the dweeb." The raven haired Shinto Priestess grumbled, but nodded her head. "Well, when you put it that way, I guess I can't be too offended. How does Mamoru like the spot you've picked?" "Speaking of my dear husband," said Usagi as she looked at the clock, "I wonder where he is? He was supposed to meet me ten minutes ago. We have a meeting with the Minister of Agriculture in about thirty minutes. Two hours of cows, milk and cheese production - such fun." "Don't worry Usagi" said Ami brightly, "I'm sure he has a very good reason for being late." <<<<<>>>>> "You want me to what?" asked Setsuna, Senshi of Pluto and Keeper of the Gate of Time. She managed to keep an even tone, but it was hard. "Go back and get a particular box from my mother's dressing table. It's a large, blue and gold enameled chest about.."he made a measurement with his hands, "...this big. It'll be on her dressing table in the top left hand corner." Pluto looked at the King of Earth as if he'd just sprouted another head. She'd known him, first as Endymion, then as Mamoru for the better part of two thousand years. Her long standing relationship with him allowed her to see him less as the King and more as a friend - A friend in serious need of a reality check. "That's stealing!" she said barely containing her outrage. Mamoru smiled as he shook his head. "How can it be stealing, Setsuna? The contents of that box were going to be mine when I was Endymion." Pluto didn't like where this was going. "I still can't do it. It'll distort the timeline if I start removing object from the past." Setsuna was tempted to hit him with the timestaff. Maybe that would shake some sense into his head. "But that box 'mysteriously' disappeared from the palace exactly one month before my nineteenth birthday." He'd obviously thought this out. "Don't you see? The reason it vanished is because you took it and brought it to the future. If you don't go back and get it, the timeline will be changed." The look on Setsuna's face said it all. She'd been very neatly maneuvered into a corner and she knew it. The regal Senshi of Pluto looked the King of Earth straight in the face. "Do I want to know what's in the box?" Mamoru shrugged his shoulders. "About half of the royal jewels of Earth. Mother was going to give them to my bride so that she could wear them on her wedding day. Since we're going to be renewing our vows in public, this would have made her happy. You can take a peek at them if you'd like." Setsuna opened a portal to the Time corridor. Glancing back over her shoulder, she said, "I never 'peek'. Wait here, I'll be back in a minute." The portal snapped shut behind her. In less than the promised minute, the portal reopened. Out of stepped Sailor Pluto carrying the promised box. As Mamoru took it from her, he noticed that her hair was coming out of the bun in back and a section of her sleeve was torn. "You didn't have any trouble, did you?" he managed to ask. Setsuna regarded him in a stoic fashion. "Of course not." She lied deftly as she pushed a strand of dark green hair from her face, "What ever gave you that impression? So, are there any other historical treasures you'd like me to loot for you, Mamoru? I hear the library at Alexandria would make a dandy bridal gift." He got the point and blushed. "No, thank you." "I'll be going then." Setsuna turned and made her way through the portal. As it closed behind her Mamoru could hear another female voice saying, "But I thought you silenced the guards!" As the silver light that always accompanied the Senshi of Time faded, Mamoru opened the box and gave a loud sigh. "Just as I remember them." After looking at the contents for a minute, he closed the lid and, whistling, went on his way. For once he was looking forward to the meeting with the Minister of Agriculture. Boring statistics about dairy production would have to wait as he presented Usagi with the contents of the ornate box he carried. They were far superior to anything Jameth could possibly come up with. The thought gave him great pleasure. Not many people would have recognized the tune he was so cheerfully mangling. It was from an old musical called, "Annie Get Your Gun." The name of the song was "Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better." <<<<<>>>>> When Usagi had worn some of the contents of that box to a reception two nights later, the whole court had been absolutely agog. The necklace had a huge tear drop sapphire its center and rested every so nicely just above the Queen's considerable décolletage. Delicate golden stars connected oval diamonds each surrounded by tiny, perfects sapphires. The earrings, again diamonds surrounded by sapphires, were also flawless. Jameth did a creditable imitation of someone attempting to swallow a hedgehog when he got a look at it. The stones were larger and there were more of them than in the necklace the he'd tried to gift the Queen with. The operative word was "try". Less than a day after sending it, the package had been returned with a lovely handwritten note. It read: ~"I thank you for your gracious gift, but must, sadly, return it. Jewelry of such quality must be an heirloom and I could not dream of depriving your future bride of it. Your gesture of friendship is greatly appreciated. The High King must have been very sad to loose such a sensitive member of his court when he sent you to us." It was signed, "With Sincerest regards, Neo-Queen Serenity."~ Jameth wasn't a total fool. He could read what was really being said. ~"Are you completely nuts to send me a necklace that is so bloody expensive? I can't be bought with jewels you creep. Go back to where you came from if this is the best you can do. Buzz off, Serenity"~ Jameth cursed himself as he watched Serenity glide across the floor on the arm of Earth's King. She wore a gown of midnight blue velvet that made her skin glow. She was so beautiful, so graceful that it killed him to watch her dance with her so called "husband". He should have known that a woman of such refinement would disdain expensive jewels. From everything he'd ever read, the only way to her heart would be with small, but perfect gifts. As they danced together, Usagi could see that Mamoru's attention wasn't really on her. He kept glancing in the direction of the S'Eyre Ambassador. Usagi stepped on his foot and he gave a short gasp of pain. "Oh good" said Usagi with feigned cheerfulness, "You're still awake enough to feel pain. Do you want to tell me what is so interesting across the room?" "Across the room? Nothing, Usagi, why do you ask?" He glanced at Jameth quickly. Usagi never stopped smiling as she said, "If you keep staring at him, people will think you two are an item." Mamoru tried, but failed, to look surprised. "I have no clue what you're getting at. Why would I look at anyone else when I have you in my arms?" he leaned forward and gave her ear a quick kiss. It was followed by a burst of pain as Usagi stepped on his foot again. There was real annoyance in the Queen's eyes as she continued to smile at him for the sake of the crowd in the room. "It's embarrassing enough to have an Ambassador acting like a love struck teenager without you getting into the act. Jameth is a pain in the royal butt, not a threat. I love you, Mamo-chan and only you. If we ignore him long enough, he'll get the message and stop." Mamoru was looking at her, but Usagi had the nasty feeling that he really wasn't getting the message. "This isn't contest between you two. Please promise me that you'll let this business with the necklace go." "Okay, if it makes you happy, I promise." Mamoru replied. He stopped looking at the love lorn prince, but in his heart knew that Usagi just didn't understand. Of course it was a contest between he and Jameth. He had to make the alien prince see that he could never take what Mamoru had - the Queen. And the only to do that with a guy like Jameth was to consistently top whatever he came up with. And if he had a little fun while doing that, where was the harm? <<<<<>>>>> s it turned out, Mamoru's fun started the next morning. It was almost too easy to find out where the Ambassador was off to so early in the day. A very talkative valet was more than happy to reveal that his master was off to pick fruit - fruit! The stuffy little man told everyone who would listen that he had no intention of spending his days polishing the prince's footwear if he was going to go trudging through muddy fields and orchards. Mamoru, in contrast, simply went down to the palaces vast kitchens and got Makoto's attention. She was currently senior pastry chef (who would have thought that the ever so formidable head of palace security, Sailor Jupiter, baked the finest apple turnovers on the planet?) and was able to excuse herself without undue attention. She ducked into the nearby closet that had been designated for just such clandestine meetings. Mamoru was waiting. "Trouble?" The closet wasn't all that large, poorly lit by one low watt bulb and very stuffy. She wanted to keep this conversation as short as possible. Not to mention the questions that would be asked if anyone saw her spending time with the King in a small, dark room. "I need strawberries, Mako. Really good ones." The intensity in his voice made it sound like he was asking her to kill someone. Mako raised one eyebrow at him. "You called me away from making baklava to ask about strawberries? I thought we agreed that we'd only meet in this damned closet if it was an emergency!" She stopped as a thought came to mind. "Is Usagi craving them?" Pregnant woman had been known to ask for truly strange things. Mako shuddered as she remembered a woman who ate limitless quantities of tuna, cottage cheese and ketchup all mixed together. "You could say that." Mamoru replied. This was, at least, partially true. In the last week or so, Usagi had been eating all kinds of fresh fruit obsessively. Oranges in the library, apples in the bathroom and grapes in bed. And she did mention that she really missed fresh strawberries. "She asked about them just last night. Do you know where I could some fresh ones fast?" Mako made a face as she thought. "Geez, Mamoru, they're out of season now so fresh ones are bloody hard to get." A slow smile crept into her eyes. "But I think I know where you just might be able to finagle a few." Mamoru leaned over and kissed Makoto on the cheek. "Mako you are a princess!" and added with a wink, "But you all ready know that." And so, as Jameth made his way to every farmstand and orchard within a days walk, Mamoru waited in his private study as a dozen, plump, sweet strawberries were delivered. Makoto had taken the liberty of whipping up some fresh cream to go with them (Expectant mothers need a lot of calcium, she'd said). Mamoru felt a twinge of guilt at using Mako's friendship, but assuaged the feelings but reminding himself that he was doing it for Usagi's sake. Any pleasure he got out of it was just a coincidence, of course. It was early evening by the time the S'Eyre Ambassador got home, changed into what he considered presentable clothes, and made his way to the Queen's garden. It taken miles of walking but it was worth it. Jameth had managed to collect one perfect representative of all the fruits currently available in the marketplace. He'd also looked for some delicacy called ' Straw - berry", but was repeatedly told that they were out of season. Mamoru had left instructions for him to be admitted so, with basket in hand, he prepared to offer the Queen of his heart this worlds first fruits. He was greeted by the sight of Neo-Queen Serenity under the changing leaves of a maple tree. He inhaled the sweet scent of autumn as he strode across the lawns. What he saw made his heart sink faster than stock prices after a visit to Wall Street by Allen Greenspan. On a simple wooden bench sat Serenity, last princess of the Silver Millenium. She was eating fresh strawberries with whipped cream from an eggshell thin, hand painted porcelain bowl. Strawberries - the one fruit he had been unable to find. Mamoru watched, at a discreet distance, as the red faced Ambassador presented the Queen with his gift. Jameth caught sight of him and they exchanged unpleasant glances. The trumped prince bowed and nearly ran from the garden in full retreat. "Yessss!" Mamoru pumped his fist in the air and laughed. "Did you see his face, Usako? Score one for the good guys!" He nearly jumped for joy over to where his beloved sat. Still laughing, he plunked down on the bench next to her. He didn't notice that she'd stopped eating as put his arm around her. "What did you say?" Usagi spoke the four words, slowly and clearly. Mamoru stopped laughing and looked at his wife. She slowly reached up and removed his arm from around her shoulders. "You promised me that you'd let this thing with Jameth go, Mamoru. You promised me." Un oh, Mamoru thought, she looks mad. "And I will let it go now that he knows that he can't win you from me. Really, I promise." "Win me? Like a prize?" Usagi spoke the words with sharp edged precision. She gave her one and only love a shove that sent him right off the bench. "Win me, as if I was some silly girl whose affections can be bought by a few trinkets?" She stood and turned to walk away from him. Mamoru leapt to his feet. He grabbed her by one arm as he said, "Usako, I did this because I love you! I had to prove to him that I was the better man for you." "Well, 'better man', here's the trophy you so richly deserve!" Before he could say another word, Usagi jerked away from him, leaned over, grabbed the dish of strawberries and thrust it into Mamoru's hands. "Who the hell are you to think that I could be swayed by sweet words and a few baubles? How many times have I told you that I love you and only you. Did you think I was lying, that I'm so shallow I'd go for the man who gives me the biggest gift?" She was so angry that Usagi was beyond shouting. "I never gave up on you even when you dumped me -repeatedly! Maybe I should have let you go if this is what you really think of me!" Her voice gave a low rumble like a rotweiller about to attack. "Grow up you jackass - I have." As he fumbled with the bowl of berries, Mamoru watched his wife sweep into the bedroom and slam the french doors shut. He finally managed to get the delicate porcelain onto the bench in one piece and went after her, only to find the door locked. He knocked loudly. "Umm, Usako, the door is locked. Let me in." There was only silence He decided to change tactics. "Usako? Come on love bunny it's getting late, let me in." The door flew open. As he moved to step inside, two airborne pillows and a pair of flying boxer shorts struck him in the face. He stumbled and fell onto his rear end as the door once again closed. Mamoru clawed them from his face. "Your 'love bunny' isn't interested." Came Usagi's voice, "Not tonight and maybe not ever again! Enjoy your victory over Jameth, Mamoru. I'm going to bed - alone!" The lights inside clicked off. The valiant King of Earth continued to rap on the door and plead his case for about five minutes before he gave up. He grumbled as he made his way to a quiet bower. The thought crossed his mind that he could probably scale the six foot wall that enclosed the garden. No, he decided, things were bad enough without running into someone and then having to explain why he was carrying pillows and boxer shorts around. Mamoru indulged himself in a fine snit as he attempted to find a comfortable spot. Usagi was being completely unreasonable. He suspected that being pregnant was the cause of it. She'd never spoken to him like this before. Let her toss around all by herself in that great big (soft, comfy his mind supplied) empty bed for a night. In the morning she'd see things differently. He settled down as best he could. The day had been long, and he really was tired. Sleep began to wash slowly over him, letting float him down into dreams. His last thought was that Usagi would realize that he'd done all of this for her sake. Hadn't he? Next - Chapter Five: "Facing Facts" or "Reality Bites!"