Bravery and Confession Part 4 --- Farewell By: Neo-Queen Serenity E-mail: serenausako@hotmail.com webpage: http://crystaltokyo.cjb.net She was bored. Looking so stunning and beautiful tonight, yet she’s bored and all uncomfortable. Lita and Mina had convinced her to join their dance a while ago, Serena excused herself with not-feeling-well-and-go-have- fun-guys-don’t-worry-about-me. She’s absolutely the queen of tonight. But she didn’t at all care to be noticed. Serena wore her best gown for her final graduation. After all, right after tonight, she will leave this place. It was a beautiful black satin gown, which suited her skin color and blond hair. It has two inch- wide straps on both side of her shoulder, with a very nice U shaped cut on her back. She had pinned her all blond curls up with pearl pins and held them up with a fancy looking black lace. Her face, ivory blended perfectly with rose, a slight smile tacked at the corner of her lips. On her swan like long neck, a thin golden chain graced her creamy skin, that’s her mother’s good-bye present before she left for Tokyo. Her entire feature, tall, slim and elegant. Serena didn’t at all care about her appearance, her clear blue gaze scanned franticly among the dancers, searching for a all so familiar dark head. He disappeared? Darien attended the ceremony with everyone else just half an hour ago, but as soon as the dance started, he vanished into thin air, making a large group of girls all depressed and stressed. She missed him! Serena was about to cry. She never knew it would be this hard to say good-bye. It has been hard enough to bid farewell to her friends. To the love of her life, it’s nearly impossible. She tried to seek him and say her good-bye. Tonight. The love of her life? Ha, she finally admit her emotion at last. Serena knew very well, after today, it would be much harder to met him again, this may be a good bye forever. Forever? How long is forever? It’s not a single hour, day, or month, it’s for all eternity. Serena started to doubt if she’s really ready to leave this country with her heart still left behind. What life would be like without a heart? She doesn’t know, it would be painful, she suppose. But if she stays here, her parents and all she has planned for, will go away like a soap opera. *what should I do?* Serena cried out with frustration in her mind, pleading for an answer. She never realized that Darien actually meant such a big deal to her, after all. She started to curse fate for her cunning. If she didn’t made her getting involved with his play, she will never even bother to learn him well enough to actually love him. Then she would, just have to shed her tears for parting her friends, not breaking her heart for leaving him. Serena knew, after tonight, an era of her life will end here. Everything will begin again. Fresh and new. If she really had the gut and courage to leave for Seattle, her new life will begin there. But yesterday, and the past was too much to cast away and leave behind. She wanted to stay, to tell him she actually cared and wanted to love him. Yet She doubted if he really thinks of the same way like she did. What if he didn’t? What if he set their relationship to mere friendship and nothing more? Then she’s destined to leave this city with a broken heart and a scattered illusion for love. Should she risk it? "Care to dance?" A deep, yet sensual voice penetrated her thoughts. Serena was startled. He finally showed up. Yet the Darien Chiba in front of her was not at all the usual Darien. He was in a perfect black tuxedo, so well made for him. His dark hair, brown streaked due to the light effect; his blue eyes shining, something unreachable glittered in between them, they were still the same deep pair, only they were thick with emotions. His bangs carefully styled and wild as usual. He was a born gentleman. Serena never realized before how much more handsome Darien actually looked. Wondering if her eyes were giving her deceiving illusion of the perfect man. She let him led her to the dance floor and they started silently in the slow waltz. "What are you thinking right now, Serena?" He whispered into her hair, his lips gently touching the blond curls and lace. She felt so peaceful in his arms, forever safe and protected. She wanted to look up to him, and tell him that she loves him for it, but... Gazing up at the lights above their head, she said: "Tomorrow." "Why tomorrow and not today?" "Tomorrow is a start, today is an ending, yesterday is the past." "Oh." He appeared to be thoughtful. "You’re leaving Serena?" He came around to the most sensitive topic. Serena found her heart quivering, and her chest tightened with a contradicting emotion. God knows how difficult it is to say yes when it was actually Darien who’s asking her this question right now. "Yes, I am." She closed her eyes, her cheek lay on his chest. Two lines of crystal clear tears traced the smooth curves of her face and vanished into darkness. Time grew on. ********** Serena’s heart was beating at a rate hundred times faster than her usual calm, placid one. She and Darien were now sitting together on a bench outside, away from the dazzling lights of the dance floor. Tonight, they talked about everything, past, present, and future. Yet not love. It’s too much a sensitive topic to touch. It was yet another cloudless night of May. But the lover themselves were brainstorming to speak up first before the night slips away. "If, if there is someone whom you really love, you REALLY love. But you wanted to go, will you leave her and go for what you normally planned? Or would you stay and treasure it with her?" "I would stay. You know Serena? I rather have a single day of cloudless sky than a whole year of raging thunder storm." "What if that person is your friend, would you help her?" He was silent. "What if I am that girl who’s debating if I should leave my love and you’re in my heart?" She took the biggest gamble in her life. Biting her lips hard for a reply, tears of uncertainty and dread of suspense swelled up at the back of her eyes.. Everything was misty and hard to see. Time stopped for this stunning moment of courage and confession. The whole world unmoving. Serena blinked hard to look at his handsome face, searching for a sign. He put his arms around her, holding her against himself and laid his hand on her blond curls. She felt loved, cherished and special. Tightening her arms around him, she snugged deeper into his warmth. He then turned his face away, his eyes glittering with unshed tear. He felt the same way. Two heart beat faster, closer, until they touch. Darien prayed in his mind that he could sit here forever with her. Like this, under the shade of a tree, moonlight as their witness and love lasting for eternity. But, at the back of his mind, his logic argued once again. *She belongs to her former home, didn’t she tell you 2 weeks ago? She will have a much better future. That’s where she truly belong. Not here, not in this country. She wants her parents. If you love her, then let her go, think on her behalf.* *But she loves me!* *But what can you give her? Empty promises? You’re ruining her future! You love her remember? Love is unselfish giving and caring. You’re so selfish Darien. You only cared about how you feel and not her. Think of her.* *But I love her!* *Sure you do, but forget about these silly ideas. Think for her, what’s the best for her. You want her to regret for the rest of life because she chose to stay with you? How dare you speak of love?!* Darien debated with his mind, and now it was painfully obvious that he has to let her go. He pulled away. Serena instantly looked up at him, startled. Her feeling of peace vanishing. He gazed down at her confused, upturned face. He gently gathered her face in his warm palm, as if holding a precious item. "I am sorry Serena. You must go-go home Serena. You belong there." His heart twisted in denial at his dishonesty. He rejected her! Darien knew Serena must feel betrayed, he had just turned her away when she sincerely whispered her love to him. She must now think that he’s heartless and cruel. But he did it for his reason, he did it for the sake of her. He loves her! He wanted to walk away and shed his tears and stress, even he believes a real man shouldn’t be so emotional and weak. He’s turning down his love and life. She trembled. Unable to believe what she heard from him. Darien wanted to run a knife through hisself when he saw hurt whirling in her blue, tearful eyes. YOU MUST GO. That statement brought a deadly finalty. Never in her life had she felt so betrayed. He turned her away, just like she feared it. Nightmare crashed in. Just like she thought would happen. He did NOT love her! Serena angrily twisted her face away from his hands, her eyes cold with no expression. Without a word, she ran. Her face in hand. Behind her, he stood transfixed, his eyes full of tears as well, only the rounded lights of the moon shone in them. He squeezed his eyes shut and tightened his fist. He felt as if she had slapped him hard. Even if she did so, it was nothing compared to the bleed wound of heart, which his own words had whipped. Yes, he turned her away, she’s going to have a better future now. But why is this raging guilt hamming him like mad? He did for her own good, but at what price? She must hate him now. ********** "Serena! Darien probably didn’t do it on purpose! You’ve got to listen. You love him. That is what’s most important." Rei tried to reason everything out to Serena. It startled her when Serena came back 2 days before, crying like she had never had. The next day, the blond determinedly phoned the Tokyo airline service and ordered her plane ticket to Seattle. Rei was surprised to discovered the quick change in Serena. After a painful conversation and tearful talk. She finally knew what had happened. Rei did not believe Darien would do such a thing. It was so obvious that he loves her. Why would he turn her down? Darien of all people could really kick aside his love and emotion? Why would he wanted to do that? Rei tried her best to convince Serena about there might be a chance of misunderstanding. "Why wouldn’t you ever listen to me Serena? May be he loves you, and just-" Rei shook Serena with force, who was silently packing up her stuff for the flight this afternoon. "I wouldn’t listen?! It was obvious Rei, he does not love me! If he does, why would he reject me? I was such an idiot to follow what my heart says. He’s not worth it. I totally made a fool of myself! He never cared. Never! Why should I stay here? To avoid him every time I meet his eyes again? I’d rather get out and leave once for all. This is too painful. And it's OVER." Serena struggled out of her friend’s grasp and continued packing her stuff. Her eyes were red and puffy after two days of weeping; her thin face pale without their usual cheerful color, her blond hair lost their usual gold and luxury texture, and fall weakly from her loose ponytail. "Perhaps, Serena. He thought for your own sake and better future. Give him a chance." Serena stopped. She seemed to hesitate. Was what Rei said true? He’s worry about her future? No, it wouldn’t be, he would at least told her so. "I did already Rei. I am out here." "Fine Serena. If you really made up your mind, I am not forcing you to stay. But we will miss you." She hugged her, tears in her eyes. "I will too Rei." ********** He was miserable. The past two days hadn’t be at ease for him. How terrible he felt that night. He was a fool. Darien wondered blindly down the hallways to his room, his thoughts were tangled in a huge mess. How will Serena think of him? He’s cruel and heartless? If only she knew that he had done it for her own good. He wouldn’t want to see her regret for the rest of her life if she had chose to stay with him. Darien took out his keys and unlocked the door. There was a note on the floor. Apparently someone had put it in though under his locked door. Darien: Perhaps I shouldn’t have wrote you this letter. But since I already picked up my pen, I suppose I will say some last words to you. Never in my dreams I could believe that you are so cruel. I feared what happened that night. But I risked it anyway. Only to found out, that it replayed exactly as I had feared it. You’ve torn my heart apart, into bloody pieces. I guess I shouldn’t accuse you, it’s my own fault. I shouldn’t have had such fantasy to fall in love with you. I shouldn’t have even thought about it. I suppose it’s too late now. Seeing that you don’t want to see me, I am ready to go away. Perhaps out of your life forever. Bye bye Darien. No matter now much I hate you now, I still consider you as a friend. Good luck. Serena. He was shocked and guilty. She’s going away? Then again, he turned her down just to force her to go away, why is he so surprised to hear that now? But it was different. His heart suddenly felt this empty void. He tried to calm down and fill the void. But frustrated to found out that he couldn't. Not without her. He couldn't live without her! Realization suddenly hit him like a firm wall made of brick. He loved her, no matter how much he wanted to deny that now, he still does. After all that’s been done and said, he still want to stay with her. To hold her. With that thought, Darien rushed outside. He has to stop her, he couldn’t let her go. ********** Rei looked up to see a breathless Darien. She said nothing. "Rei, where is Serena?" He tried to catch his breath. "She left. 20 minutes ago. The flight is at 3:35. You don’t have much time left to stop her from leaving your life." She was calm, but her face pale. "Thank you." He rushed out again, as fast as he had entered. It’s already 3:17 from the reading of his watch. He has only 18 minutes to stop her. In 18 minutes, life could change. ********** Tokyo International Airport. Serena hesitated as she got out of the elevator. It’s nearly 3:30. Holding her purse close to her, she tried not to think of him. Before leaving, she left a note under his door. Perhaps to finish something she wouldn’t want to say to him face to face. Her passport were safely put away, her plane ticket in hand. She was determined not to think of him, not after what he had said. He actually asked her to go away. She tried to think of her friends, her parents who are waiting for her to go home. She decided, may be she will take a good nap once she got on, and take a hot, comforting bath when she gets home. And forget about what had happened. Forget about the nightmare. But she can’t. No matter how hard she tried. His smiles and images still flashes in her mind. She just can’t block them, perhaps she never will... Sighing, Serena looked at her watch. 3:31. If she’s not going to hurry up, she might miss her flight. Giving a last glance around the crowd, as if expecting someone to show up, Serena gathered as much courage and pride as her heart could offer her, when the speaker announced for the last call, informing the flight to Seattle, USA was at 3:35. *********** He rushed in breathlessly, avoiding direct clashing with people, and apologizing as he dodged the crowd. He just got off from a taxi and took the elevator two step at a time. Franticly searching around for her familiar blond head, he found none. Panic sudden seized him. Glancing up at the watch on one of the walls in the airport’s waiting room. Darien suddenly realized all was too late. 3:35. He ran up to the huge glass windows to his left. Outside, there were 5 airplanes resting. One of them started moving. Gliding across the ground, it lifted towards the blue sky. Darien felt he wanted to cry, his eyes sting. That was undoubtedly Serena’s plane. The plane reached to a great height, further and further away. But someone, sitting in there has his heart. And she, is going to carry it with her to the distant side of the wide Pacific. His fingers tightened around the brass railing, griping it with pressure. Darien wanted to slam his fist into the glass panels in front of him, wondering if that would rid of his regrets. Behind him, a figure dressed in a pink outfit stood silently. Her purse in hand. Looking closer, she had tears in her eyes. Those droplets made her blue eyes a magnificent shade of sky blue. She came up to stand beside him, her blond head tilted to see the disappearing dot against the blue sky. The plane with an empty seat, the one she’s suppose to occupy as it carries her to her home at the other coast of Pacific. But it’s destined to remain empty. Darien wiped away a falling tears. At the corner of his eyes, he caught a vision in pink. He blinked several times, she’s still there. Serena! His nerves suddenly tangled together at this revelation, his heart twisted with unbelief. This was meant to be. She turned around to face him, tears glimmered in her aqua blue eyes. But she was smiling, at him. His mind went numb. A surge of relief reached every single cell in his body. He reached out for her, yanking her into a embrace, as his arms came to circle her like a vise. Darien pressed his chin firmly onto her gold curls, trying desperately to convince himself that wasn’t a dream. Then he planted kisses fierce with love on her forehead. "Don’t do this to me again Serena. I can’t bear it if I am to lose you again. I love you." he kissed her with all he might. His fingers found hers, and two hands intertwined tightly together. "No. I wouldn’t leave without you. I love you, Darien." She closed her eyes, leaning against his chest, as a sense of hope and relieve cheered her heart. A smile drifted up her lips, as she noted the assuring and secure sensation he gave her. THE END.