Author's notes:  This takes place after Usagi and Mamoru (Serena 
and Darien) break up and before anyone finds out who Chibi-Usa's 
(Reenie's) mother is.  This is my version of what would happen if 
Usagi and Mamoru didn't get back together.  The word "lover" in 
this story does not have a sexual connotation, the word is used 
in the literal term meaning someone who loves another.  I do use 
the Japanese names in this story so here's a handy little list 
for those of you not familiar with the Japanese names for the 
characters: Tsukino Usagi(Serena), Chiba Mamoru(Darien), Ami(Amy),
Rei(Raye), Makoto or Mako-chan(Lita), Minako(Mina), Chibi-Usa(Reenie),
Serenity(Princess Serena), Endymion(Prince Darien), Tuxedo Kamen
Tuxedo Mask), Ginzuishou(silver crystal), Motoki(Andrew), Tsukino 
Kenji and Ikuko(Serena's father and mother), Shingo(Sammy) If I 
have missed any, please let me know.

Of course you all know that Sailor Moon and it's characters 
belong to Takeuchi Naoko, Kodansha, and many other large 
miscellaneous companies.  Any other characters in this story 
there aren't that many) belong to me, and if you want to use them, 
please let me know.

Warning: This is a shoujo story - no fighting in this one - just 
emotional torment.  This is also my first fan fic, so please be 
kind.  Any and all comments, flames, questions, and constructive 
criticism are very much appreciated and welcome as this is my first 
fan fic.  Or if you'd like just drop me a note telling me you read 
it, I would really appreciate it.  I have a couple of other ideas 
for fan fics and need to know if you guys enjoy this, and if I 
should continue.  Send all to OTAKU9@aol.com

Finally, there is an illustration by yours truly to go along with 
this fan fic.  If it's not available, please e-mail me and I'll 
be happy to send you a copy.  If it is available, please do not 
look at it (I know I'm inviting trouble with that comment) until 
after the point in the text marked with a "~".  If you can't 
find the "~", the illustration is of the picture one of the 
characters shows another character in the restaurant (when you 
read it, you'll know ^_^). There that should set everyone 
straight.  As I said, I drew this, so please let me know if you 
like it.  Well with all that said (and I know I forgot something, 
I just can't remember what....) on with the story!  Hope you 
enjoy it.

*****


                                Wrong Choices

                                  Chapter 1


Tsukino Usagi followed Chiba Mamoru into the Crown Game Center.  
She was sure he would talk to Motoki, his best friend.  She couldn't 
let her Mamo-chan go just like that.  He had told her that he 
didn't want to be tied to the past.  He wanted his space, and he 
wanted her out of it.  But not a mere hour ago, Tuxedo Kamen had 
come to Sailor Moon's rescue, and so, deep inside, Usagi knew that 
her Mamo-chan still loved her.

Mamoru finally noticed Usagi following him, and stopped suddenly.  
Motoki, who had noticed the pair, was walking toward them.  His 
smile frozeon his face and dissolved immediately.  Something was 
wrong.  Mamoru's eyes held hidden pain and Usagi's eyes were on the 
verge of spilling tears.

"Mamo-chan," Usagi started as she placed a shaky hand on his arm.  
Her eyes full of tears, she looked up into her lover's eyes.  Her 
beautiful blue watery eyes begged silently for love, HIS love, as 
she stared at him.  Mamoru felt his courage drain out of him, and 
gave in to the tug-of-war going on inside him.  *Tell her the truth* 
exclaimed his heart, *if you do, she will die* screamed his mind.  
His selfish heart wanted to hold her forever, and his logical mind 
wanted to push her away for her safety.  *To save her, you must 
sacrifice your love* screamed his mind; *To sacrifice your love, 
means to sacrifice your soul, and your life...* his heart whispered.  
"Usako, forgive me" Mamoru thought as he wrenched his arm free 
from Usagi's hand.  He turned angrily and looked her directly in 
the eyes.

"Don't you understand?  I don't love you anymore!" Mamoru's heart 
cried out in pain as the words escaped his lips.  Words torn from 
his mouth by Usagi's pleading eyes, and his nightmarish thoughts 
of her death.  He watched in despair as his lover's eyes dulled; 
the spark gone as if the light inside her disappeared.  Motoki 
who had finally reached them stared at Mamoru in disbelief, and 
then walked towards Usagi from behind.  He looked at the stricken 
Usagi; her eyes full of tears, her lips mouthing silently Mamoru's 
name.  He placed his hands on her shoulders as he stood behind her, 
rage for his friend filling his eyes.  Mamoru looked at Motoki, 
pleading for forgiveness and understanding with his eyes.  His 
eyes then wandered around the crowd that had formed to watch the 
lovers.  He could not bring himself to look at her.

"I don't love you anymore..." the words resounded in her ears, 
echoed in her mind, strangled her heart, and murdered her soul.  
A heart-wrenching sob escaped her lips, and her mind shut down.  
Her only thoughts were to escape, to free herself from the pain 
that washed over her.  She broke free of Motoki's hold and pushed 
her way through the crowd surrounding them to the exit.  She ran 
blindly, tears filling her vision.  She never looked back, for 
if she had, she would have seen a broken man fall to his knees.

*****

Usagi ran to a nearby park, finally collapsing on the grass.  
She shook violently as sobs wracked her body.  Suddenly, strong 
arms wrapped around her from behind, and she looked up to find 
Motoki staring down at her.  She twisted in his arms until her 
face was buried in his chest, and continued to cry as he stroked 
her back and rocked her slightly.  Motoki held her until she 
calmed down, until she could cry no more.  She clung to his shirt 
as if her life depended on it, her knuckles white with the effort.  
Finally the she felt herself calm enough to release her grip on Motoki.

"Usagi-chan, are you alright?" Motoki asked the top of her head.

"No, Motoki.  I don't think that I'll ever be alright," Usagi said 
solemnly.  "Could you please walk me home?  I don't want to be 
alone right now."

"Of course," Motoki said as he rose to his feet, pulling her up 
beside him.  *How could Mamoru do this to her?  Just yesterday 
he was telling me how much he loved her* Motoki thought to 
himself as he and Usagi walked to her home in the darkness.

Usagi walked silently, leaning against Motoki for the support 
she needed  and strength she lacked.  Thoughts of death ran 
rampant through her mind.  What she hadn't told Motoki was the 
REAL reason she needed him there.  She needed him there to stop 
her from jumping to her death.  Her Mamo-chan did not love her 
anymore.  How could she go on living a lie?  How could she go on 
living at all?

They reached her home, and neither had said a word to the other.  
Usagi threw her arms around Motoki and held on to him.

"Goodbye, Motoki."

"Goodbye, Usagi-chan," Motoki said as she pulled away from him.  
He did not like the look in her eyes.  She looked desperate, 
almost mad; but the looked passed as she looked up into his eyes.

"I will never forget what you've done for me today," Usagi whispered.

"We are friends, Usagi-chan.  What Mamoru did was-" his comment 
cut short by Usagi's index finger on his lips.

"No, Motoki-san.  Please do not mention his name.  Goodbye, and 
thank you."  Usagi opened the door to her home and with a final 
wave she entered.

Motoki stared up at the house and silently prayed that Usagi 
would be alright.

*****

Usagi walked to her room in a daze; her feet leading the way.  
She entered her room and suddenly found herself overwhelmed by 
memories.  Memories she did not want.  Memories of Mamoru, and 
everything he meant to her.  Her past, her future...all gone in 
a brief instant.  If she had any more tears, she would cry.  She 
had to escape all of these memories.

She walked to her dresser mirror and was shocked to see that her 
once radiant face was twisted and marred in pain and sorrow.  
She sat down, and fingered her blonde hair absently.

"Everyone is sleeping," she whispered to her reflection, her 
wild eyes darting, her voice held a hint of madness.  "Luna, 
Chibi-Usa, Mother, Father, Shingo..." she trailed off.  She 
looked down at her dresser and found the answer to her problem.  
Next to a framed picture of herself and Mamoru, she saw a letter.  
A letter from her family's friend in America.  She remembered her 
"Uncle" Robert.  How he tried to teach her his language to no 
avail.  He spoke perfect Japanese, and was very fond of his 
"niece" Usagi.  He will help her; he would have to.

She had made her decision.  She stood and walked to her closet 
where she pulled out a suitcase.  She grabbed blindly for her 
clothes not caring what she chose, what did it matter?  She 
pulled from her hiding place her savings that over the years had 
amounted to a sizeable sum.  She counted it, but was dismayed 
to discover that it would not be enough for a plane ticket.  
*Uncle Robert will help me.  He is very wealthy* she thought as 
she took the letter from the dresser, and after making sure that 
this phone number was in the letter, she put it in her pocket.

She placed in her suitcase everything she wanted.  The stuffed 
rabbit Mamo-chan had given her, and his locket were placed on top 
of her clothes quickly lest she changed her mind.  Photos of her 
family, Chibi-Usa, Luna, Artemis, and the senshi were placed 
carefully in her suitcase.  *The senshi,* she thought, *will they 
need me?*

"No, you have nothing to fight for anymore.  You are no good to 
them.  You will get them killed," Usagi whispered to herself.  
She closed the suitcase and looked at her dresser.

She sat in front of her mirror, and looked at herself.  Her 
eyes were red from crying, her face blotchy, and her hair was 
in tangles.  She ran her fingers through her left ponytail as 
a thought crossed her mind.  Once, when she was actually 
paying attention in class, she had learned that women used to 
cut their hair when they grieved...Usagi grabbed one of her 
long ponytails and cut it off with a pair of scissors right 
below the knots in her hair, repeating the action for the other.  
Her long tendrils of hair cascaded to the floor.  She sighed sadly.  

She had to hurry or Luna would find her.  She wrote a letter to 
the only one who would know where she was headed.  She had to 
explain to her the reasons for her disappearance, and she had 
to relinquish leadership to her.  *She would find me with her 
fire anyway* she thought.  She jotted a few sentences on a 
piece of painfully cheerful paper, and put it in an envelope.

Finally she stood.  She looked around her room one last time, 
memorizing the details.  She walked out of her house with her 
head held high.  Her courage slipped away, however, and she 
began to cry again as she waved goodbye to her home, and her 
family.  She had one more job to complete.

She walked alone to the Hikawa Shrine, one last time, suitcase 
in hand.  She placed the letter at the door of shrine where 
Rei read her fire.  Then, on top of that she placed her brooch.  
"I will not need the Ginzuishou anymore..." she whispered as 
she walked away.  She walked to the airport.  She had plenty 
of time.  Finally at the airport, she placed a collect call to 
her Uncle Robert.

*****

The next day, a surprised Rei found a letter weighed down by 
the brooch containing the Ginzuishou.

"Usagi, what have you done..." she said to the wind as she 
walked inside to the privacy of the shrine to read her friend's 
farewell.

Rei,

You are the only one I am writing this to, and I would like it 
to stay that way.  I am informing you of my actions because you 
are the only one who would be able to find me, and I don't want 
that.  I NEED to leave, and start a new life.  Mamo-chan has told 
me that he does not love me anymore.  Without him, I can't go on; 
you, more than anyone know that.  I would be no good to the 
senshi, and you know that as well.  I know that you will be a 
better leader than I ever was, and that you will lead the senshi 
to victory.  I know the ginzuishou may not be of any use to you, 
but perhaps Luna will find a way...

I will be in America with my Uncle Robert.  Please do not try 
to contact me or to change my mind, for if I stay in Japan the 
memories of what once was will make me crazy.  Please do not 
let the others know that you know of my whereabouts, and take 
Luna and Chibi-Usa into your care.  I know that Luna or 
Chibi-Usa will try to discover where I am through my parents, 
but not even they will know my exact location.  Please try to 
forget that I ever existed.  It's better for everyone that way.  
The Moon Princess is dead - there is no Princess Serenity 
without Prince Endymion.  One final request, my friend, please 
tell Mamoru that he should not worry; he will never see me 
again.  I will always love you, my friends.  And as you know, I 
will always love HIM.  I will miss you.

Goodbye,
Usagi

Rei crumbled the letter in her hands as tears ran down her 
cheeks.  She did not want to be a leader; she wanted her best 
friend back.  All that could be heard from the Hikawa Shrine 
that morning was a fallen warrior's cry of defeat.

*****

Chibi-Usa and Luna ran to Usagi's room to wake her up; 
even they had overslept today.  What greeted them was a sight 
that made them both gasp in panic.  Usagi's mother and father 
sat crying by her dresser each holding one of her long ponytails.  
Her room in disarray, and her clothes and personal items gone.  
Shingo sat on her bed looking through teary eyes at a picture 
she left behind.

"Where's Usagi?" Chibi-Usa asked.

"She's gone," Usagi's mother said between sobs.

"We don't know where she is, and she left these behind," her 
father said as he shook the tendrils of hair in his hand.  He 
burst into tears, as the time-displaced child and the talking 
cat rushed out of the room.

*****

The senshi were all gathered at the Hikawa shrine when Luna 
and Chibi-Usa arrived.  Makoto was comforting Minako, while 
Ami stood alone sobbing silently.  Rei's hands were fists at 
her sides and she blinked back angry tears when she saw Luna 
and Chibi-Usa walk in.

"We have been waiting for you, Luna," Rei said to the cat as 
she walked towards Luna with Usagi's brooch in hand.  "Usagi 
left me this," she said dropping the brooch with disgust.  The 
brooch popped open upon impact and Chibi-Usa gasped as its 
content rolled out: the Ginzuishou.  Luna gasped and stared up 
at Rei, searching her eyes for an explanation.

"Mamoru-san crushed her, and she is never coming back," Rei 
continued.  "She said that the Moon Princess is dead.  She 
wanted ME to be the leader," she burst into tears and dropped 
to her knees.  "All I want is for HER to return.  SHE is the 
rightful leader, our ONLY leader" she cried to the floor.

"Usagi is gone, and there is nothing we can do," Luna said 
defeated, ignoring the shocked look on Chibi-Usa's face.

"The 'Moon Princess'?" Chibi-Usa asked recovering from the 
shock of a talking cat.

"Yes, child," Luna explained, "Usagi was the Moon Princess."

"But, I'M the Moon Princess, my mother is Queen Serenity, and 
my father is King Endymion," the child said.  "That must mean 
that..." she trailed off.

"Usagi is your mother," said a voice from the door.

They all turned to see Mamoru standing there with tears in his 
eyes.

"And YOU, Mamoru-san, are Endymion, her father," Luna said, 
finally understanding.

"Yes, I dreamed about the future last night.  For once in the 
past few weeks, my dreams have not been of Usagi's death," 
Mamoru said.  Chibi-Usa stared in surprise at Mamoru, her 
father.

"YOU," spat Rei, "you did this to her!"  She lunged at him 
struggling to break free of her friends' grasp as Minako and 
Makoto held her back.  "You broke her heart, destroyed her 
dreams, murdered her soul, and all because of a dream?"

"How could you doubt your love like that? You should have known 
that love can conquer anything, even death.  How could you be 
so heartless?" Minako asked shocked.

"Now she is gone, and we will never see her again," Makoto 
said angrily.

"We will never forgive you for this," Ami said softly.

"No, Ami-chan," Luna snapped, "Tuxedo Kamen is our ally, and 
now without Sailor Moon, we need him more than ever."

"But don't you see, Luna," Ami explained, "Tuxedo Mask lives 
only to protect Sailor Moon.  Without Sailor Moon, his 
identity as Tuxedo Mask is dead."

"Papa, how could you break my Mama's heart?" Chibi-Usa asked 
suddenly.  Her mind still reeling from all the truths revealed 
to her.  The girls were the sailor senshi, and Usagi and 
Mamo-chan were her mother and father.

"I didn't...I did it for her sake," Mamoru said trying desperately 
to convince his audience and ultimately himself.  "If I didn't 
stay away from her, she would die!  The last thing I ever wanted 
to do was break her heart.  You seem to ignore that the woman 
that I love is gone, and I know that it's MY fault, but I did it 
for her own good...for her own good" he repeated as he broke down, 
his voice diminished to a weak whisper, falling to his knees.

"Yes, Mamoru-san," Rei said defeated, "her body may have died 
in the future, but with you words, you murdered her soul here 
in the present.  Her parents will tell you what she left behind 
for you.  She chopped off her hair as a symbol of the great 
loss she has suffered.  The loss that YOU created.  Don't come 
crying to ME and tell me that it was for HER own good!  You 
murdered her soul for her OWN good?  Well then, you NEVER 
deserved her, and you NEVER will!  So don't even try to look 
for her, you'll only hurt her more.

"Now please leave; you are not welcome here today.  Today, 
we grieve for a lost soul."  With that Rei turned away as 
Mamoru got up and left without looking back.

*****

End of Chapter 1.


So what do you think so far?  What will happen to everyone's 
favorite couple?  What will happen to the senshi?  Please 
send any comments to OTAKU9@aol.com