Death Of An Angel by Ricci Author's Notes: If Your mood is unbelievably good at the moment You shouldn't read this. Actually it's quite depressing. It's told first person from Mamoru's view (at the time when he dumped Usagi because of the dreams) and it's just a short vignette. If You have a stereo and You possess the soundtrack from "City of Angels", then program title 14 and hit repeat while reading this. Anyway - on with the story! Rated: PG Disclaimer: Sailor Moon and all related characters belong to Takeuchi-san and are copyright Kodansha and Toei. No infringement intended, no money made. Please don't sue. Dedicated to Tyler, Megan and Molly ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° Here lies Tsukino Usagi. Beautiful, loving, loved. ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° Usako..." She didn't move. How majestic she looked. Like the queen she was supposed to become. The queen she would never be. Usagi was dead. Her spirit was long gone, like the soft evening breeze floating high above Tokyo's roofs, vanishing with the descending sun, dying in its golden rays. I wanted to beg her to fight, but when I looked at her pale face that bore a little smile I knew she was gone and there was no one left to talk to. She looked peaceful, like a sleeping princess, her hands resting on her chest, the fingers lightly curled around the fabric of the cover. They had removed all machines that had evoked the impression of effort and hurry. Now everything was calm. Someone had opened the window. The sun was setting, casting its light over the city. I looked up to the sky. Are you somewhere up there now, Usako? Are you looking back? Will you watch over me? I could see the first star of the evening. "Usako..." When I tried to memorize her face I noticed how young she looked. So young and vulnerable. Her face bore everything. Her gentleness. Her generosity. The energy of her love. Her willingness to believe in the good of man. And now it was all gone. Her long lashes rested on her cheeks, soft like the wings of a butterfly. I felt the urge to touch her one last time, but I couldn't. Didn't want to feel the coldness of her skin. Didn't dare to disturb this divine moment. When they had called me, when I first learned of her condition, I blamed myself for not being there, for failing in the task of protecting her. But then I arrived here and stood looking at an angel and I understood that she wouldn't want me to blame myself. For a moment I thought I'd hear her voice, not speaking in words, soothing me, kissing me goodbye, covering my hurting mind with the warm blanket of her undying love. The angel before me had never belonged to this world. She had been a gift from some unseen good power, sent to earth to give us hope and teach us to trust. And she had blessed me with her love, me, the dark one. She has given me her heart without asking for any insurance. I will keep it forever now. I'll never let her memory go. I will always see her like this. Loving, caring, happy. Now she will be with me forever. I collect myself and raise my hand to trace her cheek bone. I have to touch her one last time. I close my eyes. She is so soft... so beautiful. So strong and yet so incredibly fragile that you can break her with a harsh word. But she will never stop hoping. It is what keeps her focused. Her hope, her heart that is open wide. I don't want this moment to end. The tears are slowly flowing. I know she is happy now. I can hear the joyous laughter of her soul as she flies away on the rays of the light. I must carry on. Some part of me wishes I had never met her. If I hadn't I wouldn't feel this raw pain eating at my heart. But then I remember every moment we shared, every kiss, every caress, every word that healed my wounded heart and let the sun shine in the dark realms of my soul. "I love you... Usako..." I will carry on. Her light still shines in me and I know that it will never stop. I will pursuit my dreams, always feeling her presence softening the road I wander. She is a part of me now. I am darkness and depression, she is light and joy. We are inseparable. We'll always be. And when I join her some time in the future, far away, it will be like we never parted. The door opens. They come to get her. I turn around to the window. I don't want to watch how they cover her face with the white sheet, taking her away from me forever. They are silent. I can hear the soft rustling of the fabric. The sky is dark. More stars are there, twinkling. She's with them now. The wind moves the hair on my forehead, cooling my moist cheeks. Oh Usako. I'm hurting so much. Why did you leave me here alone? There are so many things I wanted to tell you. So many things I wanted to show you, to share with you. Do you know how much I love you? Have I ever expressed how great my love for you is? When I turn around the bed is empty. Empty and painfully white. I stride to the door, my pace getting faster until I am running. The city is humming as I run down a dark street. I am alone. Alone again. She is gone. Usagi is gone. No. I'll never be alone again. I stop running. Panting. Gasping. Choking on my tears for her. When I close my eyes I can feel the ghostly touch of her hand, wiping away my tears. Her soft lips gently touching my cheek. I cry silently, but a smile forces its way on my face. I love you. Always. ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° Thanks as always go out to the following people: Sidnei, Jade, Selena: The Moon Goddess, Yohann de Sabrais, Lady M. Harris, Sexylion, Luna and Artemis for their terrific archive, Sailor November for her Usagi-and-Mamoru-fanfiction archive, and to You for reading this! If you have any comments, good or bad, don't hesitate! Tell me!