Dear minna, Since a few of you complained Part 3 was kind of short, I've made this longer, but it doesn't go too far into the episode at all. Suffice it to say this bit details their feelings a little bit more. Thanks to all STAR members who went to the chat, I had a wonderful time talking to you all. Happy holiday, BTW. All usual disclaimers apply. ********* Love Revealed Part 4 by Sue Mei ********* I watch with blind hate choking me as she disappears. I tried to protect Serena, oh I tried. I tried everything. And I failed miserably. Her last words, chill and threatening as ice, hang in the air. Slowly, I realize Serena is awake, and behind me. I move instinctively to shield her from whatever Zoicite has planned. Obviously, whatever it is, it cannot be good for our health. I want to scream in frustration. I lost the nijizuishou, and with it all my hopes of ever finding my princess. Worse than that, I put Serena in danger. MY Serena. I shouldn't have lost control like that, throwing a rose on complete impulse. But the image of them torturing Serena, twisting her, her sweet nature, her love, into darkness, to turn her into a servant of the Dark Kingdom... that was beyond forgiveness, beyond mercy. Kill me first. Kill me, so I cannot harm her anymore, by getting her mixed up in this like the fool I was, or by hurting her as Darien, the jerk. I remember our kiss, how I had told her I loved her. I had courage,all right. I had the courage to bring her into this, the courage to steal a kiss from her lips with her permission, the courage to whisper that I loved her while she was unconscious, but not enough courage to tell her how I felt to her face. I know why. At first, I had fallen for her, without knowing anything about her. Then I began to ask Andrew about her, casually. I was trying to find something to hate, some flaw. Anything. Was she mean, cruel, insulting to everyone like me? But that failed miserably as well. I found nothing to hate. She had her flaws. Her klutziness. Her test grades. But what were they compared to Serena herself? What was it that made me love her as I did? Her beauty? She was the most beautiful person I had ever seen. I had seen beautiful women before; they seemed to flock to me for some reason. But none were as beautiful as her. I compared everybody I saw with her. None even came close, because none of them looked exactly like her. Did I love her because of my past, my dreams? As much as she haunted my dreams, when I didn't dream of my princess, I knew that wasn't it. I just...loved her. More than anything. No one could possibly understand how much I love her. It was unquestionable that I loved my princess, the moonlit angel of my dreams. And I also loved Sailormoon. I saw her first, my sweet warrior, when she was crying, in the OSAP Jewellery Store. And I fell in love with her. I wanted to jump down and pick her up into my arms, hold her against me and kiss away her tears, tell her not to be afraid. To tell her I would protect her and never ever let anything harm her, never let anything even come near her. To tell her I loved her. That night, I did not sleep a wink. I was too confused. Too frightened. I loved them all, and I could love only one. I could only be sure that only one would not break my heart, would not hurt me. What if I let Sailormoon or Serena get in behind the walls of my heart? Then they could shatter my heart with one word, one look. And I would never recover. And I was also afraid of not letting them in. To not let them in, they might go through their lives never knowing how I felt, to watch them live, so close, without touching them, not kissing them, not loving them. Eternal torture would be more merciful a fate. How could anyone possibly love me? I was cold, teasing, uncaring. At least, to the outside. The floor beneath us begins to shake and crack. Realizing the danger, I grab Serena's shoulder and push her forward. "Run!" The elevators. They're our only hope. Behind us, a large stalactite slams into the floor, breaking the floor up, closer to us at every second. My shoulder gives a sharp stab of pain from the sudden, forceful movement of pushing Serena. I moan slightly, clutching my shoulder. I must be strong now, I must get Serena out of here. ****** I glance over at Darien quickly as I run. I almost feel a blush creeping on as the memory of my dream, of his kiss, arises, but I sternly tell myself that this is NOT the time. He clutches his shoulder in pain, wincing a little. It is only now, looking at his profile, hard and determined, that I realize it. 'His shoulder's hurt.' I turn my face back to the front quickly, my mind working at lightspeed. 'Tuxedo Kamen was also hurt yesterday...' It was impossible. How could it be? It was just a dream, another one of my fantasies, like Andrew was Tuxedo Kamen. Just another one...Don't make me hope, play with my heart like this... The sharp cracking, breaking sound brings me back to reality. I cannot restrain a cry of fright as the cracks in the floor become terrifyingly close and pieces of floor fall away. "Hurry, run for the elevators!" I do not need any encouragement to run faster. Suddenly, I feel a strong arm around my shoulders, hurrying me along. I duck my head down and pray that he doesn't notice my blush. We just barely make it, making one final leap into safety in the elevators. He releases me as the doors close behind us. Covering up my disappointment, I heave a sigh of relief. "Thank heavens..." He looks around suspiciously. "Something's not right." I hear a sound, a whisper almost. I whirl in time to see the door fade behind us into solid rock, as do the walls of the 'elevator'. "What *is* this place!?," I cannot stop myself from crying out."The doors..." "We've been caught in a trap," he replies grimly. He looks tired now, as if he's given up hope. I look at him fearfully, wondering what we are to do, as he lays a hand on the cool glass of the 'elevator', looking out to the Tokyo skyline. The sky has gone dark sometime during our frantic run, and the night lights glitter, giving the sky an almost ethereal glow. "I'm sorry...for having involved you in this..." I say nothing, sensing that he is apologizing for a lot more than I could possibly understand. We both look out at the lights of the Tokyo skyscrapers. I feel the need to break the uncomfortable silence. "We're so high up..." He makes no response. Did I really expect him to? I glance at him worriedly. He looks lost in thought, tired and grim. I have seen that look before...on war veterans. When you know you're going to die, and there's nothing you can do about it...Where did I get THAT from? I had never seen any war in my life. I shake myself mentally. Another fragment of my dreams. "So...how do you know these kinds of people?" He half-turns away from me before replying. "We both have the same goal...to find the ginzuishou." That name. The ginzuishou. He KNOWS about the ginzuishou!? How? What does he have to do with it?! Is he one of THEM, the Dark Kingdom!? No, no. Impossible. He couldn't be. He's just Darien. But did I not believe it because it was impossible? Or because I didn't WANT to believe it? Unless he's... No. Impossible. It's also impossible to believe that klutzy crybaby Serena Tsukino is Sailormoon. But he couldn't possibly be him. He just couldn't. Why not? Because...because...he's DARIEN! And you're Serena. IT JUST COULDN'T BE TRUE!! He's never been seen in the same room with Tuxedo Kamen. NEITHER HAVE JUST ABOUT 2 MILLION PEOPLE IN TOKYO!! Why are you so upset about this? I... I... You don't know. But Darien is speaking again. "I was in a car accident when I was six. It orphaned me and I lost my memory in it." He's an orphan. The realization hit me with the force of a cannonball. He's an orphan. He must have been so lonely... "I began to have these dreams, with a beautiful princess telling me to find the Illusion Silver Crystal. I felt as if I knew her. So I felt that if I found the ginzuishou, I'd solve the mystery of the dream." I feel ashamed. All those times I insulted him, said cruel things to him... I never dreamed that he had these kinds of troubles. The princess. I feel a hot flash of jealousy. Darien loved her. I could tell from his voice, from the reverential way he spoke about her. She must be the same princess Tuxedo Kamen was looking for, as were we. Tuxedo Kamen loved her as well. She has the love of the two men I loved. I wanted to hate her, but I couldn't. If she would make them happy, finding her... then I could do nothing. If it made Darien, Tuxedo Kamen, happy, finding her, then I would be happy for them. I keep my tears in check. They love her, not you. Nobody could ever possibly love you. Tuxedo Kamen is always having to rescue you, and Darien... He could never love you as you do him. He probably can't bear the sight of you. Almost unconsciously I raise my hand to my heart to prevent the hurt again, like a knife-stab. "How did I even come to say these things," he sighs, half- smiling to himself. I do not know how to respond. He looks so cute, standing there. Wishing to ease the embarrassed tension in the air, I half-turn away and stick my nose in the air, feeling the heat rise in my cheeks. "You used to be the rudest person in the world." He looks at me, surprised. I look at him out of the corner of my eye, smiling a little. "But now, you're the second rudest person." I feel the blush rise on my cheeks. He gives me a quirky, half-smile that makes my heart turn over. "Thank you... Serena." I stare at him, the blush deepening like fire on my cheeks. He turns away, looking at a corner of the ceiling, still smiling. What is wrong with him? Why is he being so gentle today, so unlike himself? I don't know if I like it better than his normal teasing. He won't even look at me. Why does he do this, raise my hopes like this? Does he just enjoy confusing me? Infuriating me? Or does he really mean it? ********************************************************************** Copyright Sue Mei 1998