Chapter three





	The two of them slowly walked down the moonlit 
path. Dark clouds were beginning to roll across the sky from 
the south, threatening to engulf the moon and let loose a 
downpour of rain at any moment.
	The clouds were similar to the feelings Serena was 
holding inside. Even though she barely knew him, she still 
felt somewhat inferior to Darien, he being an intelligent 
doctor, and she still struggling her way through her last 
semester of college. She liked him, she was sure of that, but 
wasn't sure if she was ready to let it go further than that.
	But she was grateful for the fact that he didn't treat 
her in such a way, remembering back when she had been with 
Ben. Now that she thought about it, he had constantly treated 
her as a child, never letting her make decisions on her own. 
	She really had to hand it to Ami for setting them up, 
since her situation with Ben had turned her away. But this felt 
very different. Serena admitted to herself that she felt quite 
safe in Darien's company, even only after two dates.
	Her thoughts turned back to the present as Darien 
jumped over a large puddle left from an earlier rainstorm, and 
held out his hand to help her step over it. She hesitated a 
moment, then placed her hand in his warm one, and neatly 
stepped over the puddle.
	She fully expected Darien to release her hand after 
hat, but to her complete surprise, he held on and continued 
walking, not mentioning a single word about it.
	Before Serena had the chance to decide if it was a 
trick of his to hold her hand or just plain friendliness, a 
loud crash of thunder sounded and a bolt of lightning flashed 
across the sky, causing her to shiver and scream inwardly in 
fear. She'd always hated thunderstorms, ever since she was a 
little girl, and standing outside in the middle of one now 
didn't help to suppress that fear.
	In her frantic attempt to get out of the path of the 
storm, Serena hadn't realized she had clutched Darien's 
shoulder with her free hand, digging her fingernails into his 
arm. She released her hold from his shoulder, and smiled 
apologetically. "Sorry about that. I really *hate* storms."
	He smiled back. "It's all right, although I don't know 
if I'll be able to use to my arm for a while," he replied 
jokingly, venturing to keep his face serious as he said it. He 
lost control, and gave in to a hearty laugh as Serena poked 
him playfully in the side.
	As the storm began to strengthen, Darien searched 
around the park and spotted a gazebo a few yards away. He 
tugged on her arm, their hands still linked. "This way," he 
motioned.
	They stood beneath the gazebo, their temporary 
shelter from the torrential downpour. After a few moments, 
Serena pulled her damp hair out of her face and twisted it to 
get the excess water out. Then all was silent again, apart from 
the dripping of the rain off the roof.
	Darien's calm voice broke through the awkward 
silence. "Serena, I've never known anyone else like you," he 
spoke softly, his hand coming up and gently brushing the rest 
of the damp hair away from her face. "You're lively, fun, 
exciting to be with--"
	"--and probably the only girl you'll meet who's 
deathly afraid of thunderstorms," she interrupted, attempting 
to lighten the mood. She had heard these kinds of words once 
before, and she had given in then to them too. His tone of 
voice was really beginning to worry her, and she wasn't sure 
she could handle it a second time.
	He chuckled. "That's very true. None of the other 
women I work with at the hospital are nearly as energetic as 
you."
	"With the exception of Ami, right?"
	Darien grinned, playing along now. "Oh, yes, of 
course. But she's already married, so it's not like I have a 
chance with her anyway." The laughter left his voice slowly, 
and he became serious again. "Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever 
find the right person, you know, the one who's meant for me." 
He looked over, and gazed into her face. "Do you?"
	Serena stood in silence, thinking deeply about his 
question. "I used to," she replied finally. "I used to worry 
about it a great deal. But then some things in my life made 
me change the way I saw the world, and I had to give up my 
old ways of thinking. Now I've decided to let things happen 
naturally, I guess, let life take its own course, and to follow 
wherever it takes me."
	"Oh." Darien's gaze fell away from hers, and he 
stepped to the other side of the gazebo, staring out into the 
horizon, masked by the pouring rain. "Do you ever wonder if 
maybe. . . life led you *here*?"
	"What?" she blurted out, caught off guard by his 
sudden comment. She moved to lean against the wooden 
support, so she could watch him more closely. "What's that 
supposed to mean?"
	"Hypothetically speaking," he replied, suddenly 
sounding more like the doctor he was, "do you think that your 
"course of life," as you put it, led you to this point in time? 
Think about it. What if you had never decided to come back 
to Tokyo as early as you did? What if you hadn't run into Ami 
at your high school reunion? What if you hadn't come to the 
hospital with her? What if--"
	"What if I had never met you?" Serena intoned 
softly, finally seeing where his topic of conversation was 
leading.
	"I--" Darien fell silent, not sure how to answer her. 
He didn't get the chance, however. Serena beat him to it.
	"I don't know, Darien. I've never been asked that 
question before, at least, not in that way. Nor have I ever 
considered it that much. I can't really say that my life has 
changed significantly since I met you, but I--"
	Serena was unable to finish, for while she had been 
trying to answer his question, he had taken her delicate hand 
in his again, which startled her momentarily. She found 
herself staring into the depths of his eyes once more. Eyes so 
blue, dancing with laughter and mystery as he gazed down at 
her. She recalled the memory of Ben's dark brown eyes, 
always concealing his feelings when ever she had looked at 
him.
	A feeling of pain and sorrow washed over her, and 
she turned away from Darien, although her hand was still 
clasped with his. Instead, Serena tried hard to concentrate on 
the patterns the raindrops were creating on the wooden steps 
of the gazebo. What was this feeling, this sensation that was 
harboring in her heart? Was it fear? Fear that her heart would 
never allow her to care for anyone again? Fear that she might 
actually be beginning to have feelings for Darien? It wasn't 
possible . . .was it?
	She felt his other hand come up, take hold of her 
chin and turn her face so she was looking into his eyes once 
more. His hand did not leave her face immediately, instead it 
slid to the side, caressing her cheek softly. She closed her 
eyes, not knowing what to make of this emotion that was 
making her heart pound so fiercely. Not once had she ever 
felt this with Ben when he touched her, the rare times he 
had, anyway. Is this why she was feeling so strange all of 
a sudden?
	Suddenly, she sensed his warm lips brush lightly 
against hers, then they pressed more fully, though his touch 
remained as gentle as a summer's breeze. His arm slowly 
came around her waist, and she realized she was being pulled 
closer to him.
	Waves of emotion surged through her, first shock, 
then reluctance, and finally, a small amount of acceptance. 
Serena started sliding her arms up around his neck, bringing 
him closer and nearly responded to his kiss. But the thought 
of being this close to someone who could possibly care for her 
so deeply terrified her. Once she had thought Ben had loved 
her, but she had been wrong. It was too hard to give her trust 
to someone again so soon, and to someone she hardly knew.
	She pulled away from his embrace, abruptly moved 
back to the other side of the gazebo, doing everything she 
could to shy away from his piercing gaze. The two of them 
stood like that in a painful silence, for what seemed like an 
eternity, until his voice filled the air again.
	"I'm sorry, Serena. I shouldn't have been so forward. 
I didn't mean to--"
	"No, Darien," she cut him off, trying to relieve as 
much of the embarrassment as she could. "It's just that . . . 
that . . . well, I hardly know you. We've been out on a few 
dates, and this just seems awfully sudden to me. I don't know 
if Ami told you, but I've just come out of a relationship with a 
really difficult breakup, so I'm not very good at this."
	The palm of his hand fell lightly upon her shoulder, 
wanting to pull her close again, but afraid of what her 
reaction might be if he were to do so. "I'm sorry, Serena. I 
didn't know. But I can tell you, that guy doesn't know what he 
gave up. It feels like I've known you much longer than a 
week. Would it mean anything to you, Serena, if I told you I 
think about you a great deal? Ever since we met, I can't seem 
to get you out of my head. I'd like nothing more in this world 
than for--"
	"Please, Darien, don't," she broke in again softly, 
very much afraid to hear what he might say next. Once she 
had given in to those words, and her heart had been shattered 
because of it. It was too hard to open herself again so soon.
	She looked into his eyes again, almost losing herself 
in them. For a split second, she considered staying, but then 
sadly turned away. "I'm sorry," she mumbled, half to herself, 
and half out loud, "I'm so sorry."
	With those words, she flew off the steps of the 
gazebo into the blinding sheets of rain, her fear of the storm 
the last thing on her mind.





		*  *  *  *  *  *  *





	She walked through the automatic doors to the 
hospital, and made her way to the floor where she knew Ami 
would be. She took all precautions to shield her face from 
view in case he should happen to walk by. Darien was the 
*last* person Serena wanted to see right now, especially after 
what had happened two days earlier. No, she had only come 
here to find Ami, since she knew Darien the best.
	Just as she was about to give up on the receptionist at 
the front desk, a familiar figure in a white lab coat appeared 
in the dimly-lit hallway, approaching Serena.
	"Ami!" she called out in a loud whisper, careful not 
to draw attention to herself.
	"Hi, Serena. Darien's just down the hall in his office. 
Would you like me to show you the way?"
	She shook her head immediately. "No, actually, I 
came here to see you. Do you have a minute? I really need to 
talk to you in private."
	"Sure, I was about to take my break anyway. Let's go 
into my office."
	Ami led the way down the corridor, and unlocked a 
door at the end of the hall which led into a relatively normal-
sized room. 
	There was no mistaking the office for anyone else. It 
said "Ami" all over. The furniture was decorated in various 
shades of blue. Two bookcases along the back wall were 
stuffed with expensive first edition hardback books, with 
impressive titles, most of which Serena couldn't even 
pronounce. 
	Ami flopped into a high-backed cushioned chair 
behind her desk, and motioned for Serena to sit down as well.
	"So, what's up? How are things between you and 
Darien?" she asked, a cheerful smile lighting up her face.
	As Serena lifted her head, and Ami got a good look 
at her in the natural light, the smile slowly faded away. Dark 
circles were apparent beneath her red-rimmed eyes, and there 
was no smile anywhere to be seen on her face, only a sullen 
expression.
	"Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. 
I've laid awake the last two nights because of what happened. 
I can't get it out of my head."
	"What happened? Did he treat you poorly?"
	"Hardly that. It was just the opposite. I've never been 
treated better in my life," Serena replied, her voice void of 
any emotion. "He . . . he kissed me," she mumbled after a 
moment's silence.
	Ami was sure her ears had betrayed her. "Say that 
again?"
	"He kissed me."
	She fought to keep a grin from surfacing. "So . . . I 
don't understand. What's the problem?"
	"That *is* the problem. I hardly know him, Ami!" 
Serena exploded, all the emotions she had suppressed finally 
pouring out. The tears filled up in her eyes again, and finally 
spilled over. "I'm still trying my hardest to get over Ben, and 
now this? I'll be going back to Hawaii for school after 
Christmas. If anything more were to develop now, what 
would happen after I left? I couldn't just leave it hanging, 
that wouldn't be fair to him. I don't think I can give away 
what's left of my heart again." She buried her face in her 
hands. "I'm so confused."
	"Maybe I should have become a psychiatrist after 
all," Ami muttered under her breath. She leaned forward on 
her desk. "All right, Serena. Tell me what's so confusing."
	She looked away and stared out the large picture window, 
her vision of the city blurred by her tears. "I think . . . I 
think I'm afraid to let someone really care for me again, 
especially after the way Ben left me. Darien mentioned that 
last night, and I just froze. I didn't know what to say to 
that. I once thought Ben cared for me, but he didn't. I'm 
afraid to have that happen again.
	She laid her head in her hand. "And the fact that I'm 
still a struggling college student and Darien's this genius of a 
doctor intimidates me too. I wouldn't want to hurt him for the 
world, but I know he deserves better than me. I have nothing 
to give him. I just don't know what to do."
	Ami sat silently in her chair, seriously contemplating 
her response. There wasn't much she *could* say, except . . . 
"Serena, would you like me to talk to Darien for you?"
	A small glimmer of hope appeared on Serena's face. 
"Would you really do that for me?"
	"Well, since I was the one who got you into this in 
the first place, and I know him the best after working with 
him for so long, I'll do my best to help you work this out. I'll 
go see him after my break's up."
	"Oh, thanks, Ames! You're the best!" Serena jumped 
out of her chair, ran around the desk, and gave Ami a huge 
hug.
	"Now go home, and get some sleep. You look 
horrible."
	For the first time since her arrival, Serena smiled. 
"Jeez, Ami, you sure know how to make a girl feel good about 
herself," she shot back as she left the office.





			*  *  *  *  *  *  *





	Not long after Serena left, Ami lightly tapped on the 
door to Darien's office in the pediatrics wing of the hospital. 
There was a faint acknowledgment from the other side, so she 
twisted the handle, and let herself in, softly closing the door 
behind her.
	"Hey, Darien, do you have a minute? There's 
something I need to ask you."
	He was busily going over some files of new patients 
that had been admitted earlier that day, and the pen flew over 
the reports as he spoke. "Sure, Ami. What's on your mind?"
	She didn't waste any time getting to the point of her 
visit. "How are things going with Serena? Did you enjoy your 
date the other night?"
	The pen stopped in mid-paragraph, and dropped to 
the desk with a clatter. Not a word came from him.
	Ami moved closer to the desk, and sat in one of the 
adjacent chairs. "Darien? Did you hear me?"
	"Yes," he responded, his voice barely above a 
whisper.
	"So, how did it go?" she pressed.
	"I'd rather not talk about it."
	She sighed. "I thought I should let you know Serena 
came to see me about twenty minutes ago, and she told me 
everything."
	His head shot up, finally making eye contact with 
Ami. "She did? It's no wonder she didn't want to see me, not 
after how I royally messed up."
	"That's part of it. Would you care to tell me your side 
of the story, now that I've heard Serena's?"
	"There's not much to tell, except now I realize I went 
too fast, and I've probably lost my chance with her. You 
obviously know her better than I do, Ami. I've never felt this 
way around anyone before, like I'm only a half a person 
without her near me. I should have known to back off when 
she told me she had come out of a bad relationship. Why 
didn't I listen? Now I'll never get the chance to know how she 
feels about me, if she feels anything at all."
	Ami shifted in her seat. "Maybe, maybe not. She told 
me basically the same things you did, although she 
emphasized more on the part where you kissed her."
	Darien ducked his head a little, but not before Ami 
caught sight of a faint blush on his cheeks. "Yes, I realize I 
got a little carried away there," he admitted.
	"That's only one thing that scared her away. Her 
main concern is if anything developed between you and her, 
what would happen when she had to return to Hawaii for 
school?"
	Darien's face went blank. "I--I don't know. I guess I 
hadn't really thought about it."
	"*There's* your problem, Darien. You don't take 
into consideration what's in your future. Are you happy with 
the way you are right now, or do you want more?" 
	"I'm not really understanding you, Ami." 
	"Let me ask you a simple question to illustrate my 
point. Which way would you prefer your life: before you met 
Serena, or the way it is now, now that you've met her? Would 
you be willing to give up things in your life for her?"
	There was no hesitation in his voice, only finality. 
"Yes, Ami, I would. She means that much to me." 
	"Then you have to reassure her that her fears are 
nothing more than insignificant worries. If you respect her 
that much, at least let her know how you really feel. 
	"There's something else I think you should know. 
Serena told me herself that she thinks you deserve better than 
her. She's had her heart broken once. Don't make it a second 
time. She's barely hanging on as it is."
	His face paled. "I think it's the other way around. 
She's too good for me. And I certainly wouldn't want to hurt 
her for anything in the world."
	"Then don't let her slip away, Darien. I know how 
special Serena is. She was the first friend I had in high 
school. If you let that go without trying to save it, then 
I'll . . . oh, I don't know what I'll do, but I promise you, 
it won't be nice," she answered, standing up to leave.
	He grinned in reply. "Thanks, Ami. I honestly 
appreciate all your help."
	She was about to close the door, but stopped. "Oh, and 
one more thing. Talk to her about this in person, not over 
the phone. That's just tacky." His office door shut behind her.
	Darien let out a long sigh. He had never felt this way 
about anyone before, and he wasn't about to give up on 
Serena without a fight. But how could he tell her that without 
hurting her again?