Hello! OK, I'm trying out something new this time! I'm actually going to try using emotions in my new fic! *gasp* I have read soooooo many amazing stories out there about Serena and Darien, by like, so many amazing authors! So, first, I want to thank a few of the better ones.....Lianne, (Such sweet stories! Major romance...). Razzz (Really an amazing one. Eye-opening stories...) And last, but most definitely not least, Jennifer Wand. She is, in my opinion, the best SM fanfic writer out there. If you have not read "Dariens View", or "Yaten's Love Song", GO DO IT NOW! OK, enough with the thanks, on to the disclaimers. This is kind of based on a song called "This Kiss" by Faith Hill (Thus the name, "This Kiss"...), which is now, one of my favorite songs in the whole Universe! But, I got the idea while reading Razzz's story "First Love", in one key point, when Serena and Darien are about 2 seconds away from embracing. Anyway, this whole story pretty much takes place in about 2 minutes, but has a lot of flash backs, so you don't get confused. (Aren't I nice :P) Oh, SM and all other characters are a product of Naoko Takeuchi, not me. But please, this is my story, no plagiarizing please. And Thanks for reading this! - Sailor Europa ***************** This Kiss I can't believe I did it. After weeks, no, months, of dreading, contemplating, waiting, thinking and rethinking such matters, the whole event took place in a whole, about three minutes. The past few months were hell. I had no idea what was happening, what I was feeling, what _she_ was feeling. And the thing that had bothered me, and yet thrilled me to every last fiber of my body, had actually occurred. And everything I had worked so long to build came crashing down on me. The walls I had erected, the massive cement beams, now cracked and vanished into rubble, after only a single touch. Never in my life has such tenderness been so destructive. One look from her, was like one million embraces from anyone else in the Universe. So what was one kiss like? Like Heaven. Like perfection. Like love. And all the other things that I had kept myself shunned from. The things I hid, kept tucked away in my soul, so afraid of letting them be exposed to another living person. Not even wanting them to be exposed to myself. And yet, after 20 years of harsh reality ruling my every move, I had managed to let myself dream. Of things to come, of things I desired, wanted. Namely her, now that I think about it. And now, the fact that I never realized it, seems so ridiculous. My every move has, is and always will be for her, for the rest of eternity. And until this moment, I never knew she felt the same way. ******* "Fail another test, Meatball head?" Her fists clenched, she whirled around, her face beat red, steam almost emitting from her ears. "Not that it's any of your business, _Darien_ , but no, I didn't fail, I got a 67." She announced, sounding extremely proud of herself. "I stand corrected." I chuckled, only causing her to blush even more. She huffed her shoulders as if she was about to shout another remark, but let it defuse as she turned on her heel and left without another word. I watched, not exactly knowing whether to frown or to smile. Smile, at that annoyingly adorable mug she had just flashed me, or frown.....because she hadn't spoken to me more? No, that can't be right. Naw.....Could it? ******* "I just don't understand!" She wailed, frustrated. Her head in her hands, she groaned, tossing her pencil onto the table. I had to laugh. I had somehow managed to become her tutor, much to my elation. Or dismay. I wasn't exactly sure at this point. "Come on Serena. You can't give up now. Your almost finished with this last problem." I urged. She had done extremely well the past few days, after a little of my prying. She had figured out most of the stuff herself, proving to me and her own self, that she was a lot smarter than she, or anyone else for that matter, ever gave her credit for. And, I was actually feeling a little proud for her. I had helped, edged her out of this clutzy shell she had built around herself. And then there was that other feeling.... "But I don't understand..." She muttered, sounding very dejected. She sniffled and I suddenly had this incredible urge to wrap my arms around her and hold her until she knew, until _I_ knew, she was all right. However, my next words didn't seem to mirror what I had just felt. "Not like that's anything new...." I mumbled, hoping she didn't hear. Or maybe I was hoping she did hear. Like I said, at this point, I wasn't sure. "Look, I didn't ASK you to help me, OK? If you don't want to be here, why'd you even offer? Or was it just so you could laugh some more at "Stupid Air-headed Serena"?" She asked, her eyes pooling over with tears. My mouth twitched with a smile, but I urged it down. She looked so adorable, so vulnerable. Oh lord, I should start writing hallmark cards.... "NO! Serena, I did offer because I want to help you!" I said, my mind filling with urgency. 'Don't let her leave!' was all I heard, all I was aware of. "Please, I'm just as frustrated as you are. Please, don't leave." She looked a bit confused, but she sat back down, her quizzical eyes never leaving me. *Oh God....* I thought, just as I made eye contact. I couldn't look away. It was like some powerful hold she had, not letting me leave, holding me against my will, and yet....my will wasn't protesting as loudly as I thought it should have. She worked hard for a few minutes, her pencil working furiously. After a little while, she handed me the paper, her face flushed and a few pencil marks left from the lead on her hands. I almost lost all sense of reality, she looked so cute. *God, get a hold of yourself...* I told myself. I cleared my throat, as if to clear my mind of these thoughts, and began to look the problems over. My heart almost stopped. "Geez, Meatball head...." I started, almost to surprised for words. She shot me an icy glare, making me feel that same tingling urge again. Her body was just aching to be held, touched....OK, Get a grip on yourself Darien. "You got them all right!" I exclaimed, finally able to judge reality from my fantasies again. Her eyes opened wide, and she snatched the paper from me. Not like she would be able to tell the difference, but..... "Really?" She asked, her buns bobbing playfully as she nodded her head. She waited anxiously as I paused. Just so I could watch her smile longer....such a pretty smile.... "Yep. I knew you had it in you." I said, once again, swelling over with pride at my project. She smiled broadly as she looked over the paper once more. I watched, chuckling softly. Never, in the whole time I've known her, have I seen her so pleased with herself. It was a welcome change of pace from "WAAAAAH! I just can't do it!" , I had to say. "Wow! Mom'll flip!" She exclaimed, hugging the paper to her chest, as if it was a new toy. I couldn't stop smiling, but then again, neither could she. Maybe that somehow effected me..... "I'm really proud of you meatball- I mean, Serena." I said, careful to stop myself from my usual bad habits. She was happy with herself. The last thing she, or I for that matter, needed right now, was for me to start grating her again. I just hope I could keep her this way. "How about I take you out for some congratulatory ice-cream?" I propositioned. Her eyes lit up, and I could just about see drool form at the corners of her mouth. She nodded vigorously, even happier than she was five minutes ago, if that was at all possible. She clamped her arm through mine, and she beamed up at me. "I think we make a great team, Darien." She announced, her face glowing. I nodded in agreement, still glowing a tad myself, from my pride. And you know what? I really did think so. I really did. ******* The feelings from that few weeks seems so foreign to me now. I never knew. I never realized the hold she had clamped down on me. She held my heart in her hands, whenever she wanted it. She knew how to melt my soul, how to stop my heart, my whole world. And yet, with all the power she held on me, she would never abuse it. She hugged me fiercely, and loved me even fiercer, yet with the softness and gentleness of a summers breeze, as if she was afraid she might break me. I never knew of this love she held for me, the one that mirrored my own for her exactly, and I think that was the worst pain in the world. I watched her, worshipped her, and loved her wholly, totally and completely. All the while, eating every shred of my heart out, just so I could talk to her. I never knew she felt the same way. And I never would have guessed. ******* "Darien. DARIEN!" "Huh?" I muttered, startled out of my day dream. I turned around, just in time to see my best friend bearing down on me. "Hey Andrew. What's up?" I asked, nonchalantly. He just smirked a cocky smile. "You, man. Where were you? I called your name five times, and you never even budged. What's eating you?" He asked. "Nothing. Finals. Been up studying till the crack of dawn each day. It's like hell, I tell ya'." I answered, not even missing a beat. "Hell, huh?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at me. "So how come your smiling?" "Smiling? What?" "When I was calling you. You had this ridiculous grin plastered on you face. Like you weren't all in contact with reality." He said. "No, just thinking about,....you know, stuff." I said, shrugging. "Smiling at 'stuff'? No, Dar, I know you better than that. You weren't just thinking about stuff, and you and I both know it." He said, taking a seat next to me. He turned towards me, his eyes searching mine, as if he expected them to answer him. Then, he smiled. "OK. Who is she?" He asked, grinning from ear to ear. "Sh..She? She who?" I asked, startled by his pin-point answer. He was so sure of himself. And of course, he was right. "You know exactly who I'm talking about." He said, obviously not about to give up anytime soon. I sighed in defeat. "She doesn't even know I'm alive." I said, turning my back to him. "At least, not the way I want her to." "And that makes you happy?" He asked. "She makes me happy. Just gazing at her. Her bright smile, her big blue eyes, her long blonde hair, her annoyingly cute hairstyle...." I mumbled, pulled back into my personal dream world, totally oblivious to my companion, who, now, was trying to figure out who I was so entranced by. So, of course, I didn't see his face when he realized who I was talking about. "Man, you really got it bad, don't you? And Serena doesn't show the same feelings?" He asked, sympathetic. My face flushed, realizing he had translated the "annoyingly cute hairstyle" part into the only possible subject. And he had it. Right on the nose. "Naw. Why would she? To her, I'm just the older guy who makes fun of her." I said, feeling totally dejected at the moment. "And she's just the one who really shifts you into high gear, eh?" He asked, nudging me. I blushed again, at the way he put it. But of course, again he was right. "Well, don't look now, but here she comes." He said, getting up to greet the crowd that had gathered around the doors, signaling the end of the school day. I turned around in the stool, just in time to run painfully into a blonde tornado that almost whirled right passed me. A tornado named Serena. "Hi Darien!" She smiled, her grin lighting the four corners of the Arcade, right along with the dark part of my soul. I smiled back meekly, a little surprised at her stop, even if I shouldn't have been. She always came here. But at this moment, I was paralyzed. Totally unaware of the screaming teenagers that surrounded me. All I saw was her beautiful face, smiling at me. Me, who, at that exact moment, was losing my mind. All because of her. And I wouldn't have had it any other way. "Hiya, meatball head." I wanted to kick myself. Her face fell, and her eyes clouded over, losing the light they had held. A light I wanted to see. A light I needed to see. "It's Serena! S-E-R-E-N-A. Serena!" She stared harshly at me, making me want to shrink into the ground. I couldn't stand to see her hurt. Even if she looked really adorable. "Pass your math test?" I asked, hoping to lighten her mood. Her face brightened again. I could feel my heart soar at such a sight. "I got a 89%!" She exclaimed, digging through her bag for the misplaced paper. She emerged with a wrangled test paper, with a large 89 written in red on the top. I could see her beaming mug, so proud, over the paper, and I smiled along. "I'm really happy for you, Serena!" I exclaimed, putting my arms around her impulsively. She threw her arms around my neck, and I was suddenly aware of what was occurring. My heart began to pound as I held her petite body close to mine. I could feel the slow, study thump of her own heart, suddenly begin to quicken also. She pulled away, her face red with embarrassment. She giggled a little in nervousness. "I never could have done it without you." She said. "You're...you're...my knight in shining armor!" She said, throwing her arms around me again. My whole body shivered, a whole lot more excited at this specific time, because she initiated it. She wanted it. And I never wanted to let go. I never wanted to lose that eager feeling she now displayed so openly. I didn't think I was able to let go. I was afraid my arms had frozen on me. But, she pulled away, and, reluctantly, my limbs loosened and now dropped at my sides, numb. I was afraid they'd lost all feeling! Then, my mind started displaying the same symptoms. It took temporary leave of my body. And my heart started speaking for me. "How 'bout we go out and have a celebratory dinner? A really nice one." I suggested, before my mind awoke again. And, had my arms been working at the moment, they probably would have been whacking myself upside my head for that last remark. How stupid _am_ I? "Like, at a really fancy place? Where I can get dressed up? REALLY?" She squealed, her eyes widening with excitement. So much so, that I thought they would burst right off her pretty little head. "Yup. You earned it Serena." I said, not even having to correct myself. I had pretty much gotten over the idea of her being "meatball head". Now I had more appropriate names for her. "Way cool! Can we do it tonight? I don't have any homework. None that can't wait, at least." She asked happily. I chuckled. "Sure, why not? I'll pick you up at 7:30. And, yes, get dressed up. I'll make sure to pick a real nice resteraunt." I answered, getting up off the stool. My arms, after gaining back _some_ feeling, waived her good-bye. I headed all too happily towards the door, when a blond-headed figure blocked my view. I sighed. "OK, now you're just way too happy. What happened?" Andrew asked, agitated. I just kept on grinning my dopey grin. "Well, I just found out I have plans for this evening. And they _don't_ include half a dozen school books." I answered indirectly. I knew he didn't have to even think about this one. Only one thing on earth could make me this happy. "I take it you got up the nerve to ask out the lovely meatball headed one?" He asked, grinning mischievously. "Yup. And right now, I have to make sure I look devilishly handsome by tonight. I'll call you tomorrow." I answered, waiving as I headed out the automatic doors of the arcade and back to my apartment. And after that, on to heaven. ********* How was I suppose to know the evening would end up even better than I could have ever imagined? My whole world swirled around me at this point. How could I have any knowledge that the event of my whole like crashing down on me would be the conclusion? And how could I know that that occurrence would be the most wonderful thing to happen to me, since the Silver Millennium? ********* "Hello Mrs. Tsukino. Is Serena ready?" I asked nervously as I arrived at Serena's home. "Almost. We were so proud when she came home with that outstanding exam paper! And I understand we have you to thank." She said, waiving me to the couch. "Not really, Mrs. Tsukino. She was smart on her own. I just helped her realize that." I answered modestly. It _was_ true. Serena just didn't know how to keep her mind on her work. And I didn't know how to keep my mind _off_ of her. Similar problems. "Well, this is a nice way of celebrating. She was so excited when she came home! I never thought she'd survive until you arrived!" She laughed. She was stopped short, by the arrival of her daughter, walking gracefully down the stairs. And I started to rethink this idea of mine. She looked so beautiful. Her hair was held in it's original style by two bands of flowers, wrapped tightly around her buns, and drifted wistfully around her face, bobbing playfully with a few extra strands of hair, strategically left out of the buns. She was wearing a stunning short, light pink satin gown, with a white sash wrapped high above her waist. She had on a pair of open-toed satin shoes, which, to me, looked to painful to walk in, but she had managed to glide gracefully down the staircase in them. How was I going to make it through dinner? Through the car ride there? I felt my speech impair, and I wondered if I was going to faint, just trying to think up the words I wanted to say. Then, once again, my heart spoke for the rest of me. "You look wonderful." I managed hoarsely. She giggled happily. "So do you." She said smiling. I glanced down at my silk blazer and crisp white shirt. When I left home, I was flying high. But now, she seemed to radiate beauty, and I just didn't seem to do her justice. She _glowed_ with happiness. I didn't even know what that emotion was at times. What if that rubbed off on her? What if that little glimmer flicked out because of my influence? How would I live without that light? Then again, what if that radiance rubbed off on me? Has she already helped my life be a little bit brighter somehow? I shook my head. Too many deep thoughts Dar. Need to stop reading those psyche. books from the library. ********* "Your dinner OK?" I asked, looking up from my own linguini plate. She raised her head a bit, smiling as she slurped up a mouthful of spaghetti. I had to choke down a laugh as most of the sauce ended up on her face, rather than in her mouth. There was that annoying little urge I had been getting. The urge to just envelope her in a giant bear hug, and then lower my face next hers...... "Darien?" She asked. My head popped up and I wondered if maybe I had been so involved in my little daydream that maybe I had been muttering it out loud. My face reddened at the thought, and I tried to cough to cover up my embarrassment. "Yeah?" I replied, folding my napkin up, and placing it over my plate, signaling I was finished. I picked up my glass of water and began to take a drink. "Do you like me?" She asked, hesitating a little bit. My gulp caught in my throat, and I began to choke violently. I could feel my face flush as I finally got the liquid down, and coughed a bit to cameflouge my shock. "Of course I do, Serena. Why....why do you ask?" I answered, somewhat proud of myself. I recovered my composure very well, I thought. "Oh, I don't know. I just wondered if this wasn't more like a pity date. You know, like you really didn't want to be here." She said, ducking her head down. I noticed her cheeks turn pink, and I could feel my flame up also. *Lord! This girl has no idea how _much_ I actually do like her!* I thought, my mind whirling. Had I really not given any subtle clues? No hints? I then thought back to all my insults, jabs and slams that had strategically worked into any conversations I had with her. I am such an idiot! She really thinks I hate her! And she probably hates me too.....My heart just about broke in two and that last thought. I looked back up at her, and I wondered why I let myself dream about her for this long, without realizing how she felt. Or what I thought she felt. "Do you like me?" I asked. Where did that come from?! "Of course! You actually got me good grades! How could I _not_ like you?" She replied happily. She smiled at me. A pure, wholesome, genuine smile. I wanted to hug the life out of her! She lit up the entire room with that smile, not to mention she re-lit the flame of hope that she might actually have some feeling for me. It was burning bright again. Thank God. "You did that on your own, Serena. I just pointed you in the right direction. You really are smart, you know. You just never gave yourself enough credit." I said, hoping I could reassure her of a thing I had known all along. "Maybe." She said, ducking her head again. I smiled at her. A pretty goofy smile, I was sure. I kept on smiling till she looked back up. I don't know whether it was because she caught my grin, but she seemed to get a look in her eyes when she brought her head back up. She looked so happy. So joyous. Like, no matter what happened in her life, she was going to keep on going. Did she know how many people depended on that innocence? How much she affected all she encountered? With just that one look? Did she know how she affected me? Could she possibly know how fast my heart would beat whenever I would see her approaching? Or how clammy my palms got, whenever I thought of her? Could she really do all this to me, without any knowledge of it whatsoever? "Ready to go?" I asked, trying to calm my whirling mind. She nodded as she pulled her chair out and walked towards the door. I arose myself, and after placing a few dollars on the table, we left. ********* "Thank you, Darien. This was wonderful!" She exclaimed as I walked her up to her door as soon as we had arrived at her house. I smiled back at her. "I hope you enjoyed it. You earned it." I said, grinning. She nodded ecstatically. "I've never been to such a fancy place! I loved being able to dress up!" She squealed, her eyes glazing over as she reminisced about the evenings events. I watched happily as she sighed contentedly, her head tilting to the side as she drifted off into her private little world. We walked up the steps silently, and she fumbled in her purse for a house key. "Does this mean we aren't going to study anymore?" She asked, looking up suddenly from her preoccupation. I smiled and shook my head. "Nope. I want to make sure you keep these grades up." I said. It was half true. She never would be able to keep them steady on her own. But I would never be able find any other way to see her, if I wasn't her tutor. And I needed this excuse. "Goody!" She exclaimed. She impulsively threw her arms around my neck, and hugged me so fiercely, I thought my whole body would lose feeling. Not from the suffocation, but from the feeling of her body pressed against mine. The smell of her. The sound of her. I wanted her to stay like this forever. So close, so soft, so.....perfect. I slowly wrapped my own arms around her slender waist and hugged her in return. For a few blissful moments we were locked together, neither of us moving. I couldn't even think well enough to try to stop the pounding of my heart. I wasn't even sure I wanted to try. Slowly, she pulled away, her arms unraveling from around my neck. She reddened a bit when I didn't let go as easy. I reluctantly loosened my arms a bit, but never letting my arms leave her. She smiled a bit, her eyes going a bit light. Her face was so flawless at that moment. I could see her mind go a little blank as she noticed the intent gaze that I held on her. She didn't exactly understand, I knew. But, then again, neither did I. I finally let go, and coughed, flustered from the moment that almost took hold of my whole body. She took a gasp inward slowly, and then pulled her key out from her purse. I smiled weakly as I leaned toward her and whispered good-night. She looked up, and for a minute, or maybe only a second, our eyes locked. I knew that, for that minute, she knew exactly how I felt. She saw how vulnerable I felt at that moment, and how raw my soul was. And what I saw blew my mind. I saw more love in those two blue eyes than I had seen in all my 20 years. She held more passion for living burning inside her than a raging wildfire that had been burning for years. I think I loved her more at that second than I ever have in my life. Maybe that somehow justifies what I did next. I kissed her. And I felt ever ounce of her life, her passion, her fever for life enter me. She filled my ever limb, and finally burrowing deep inside my heart. I could feel her love burn inside me, and I knew I was complete. She made up the empty space that had plagued me for years. My soul sang and my heart flew. I was complete. And all because of this young woman who entered my life as a burden, and would leave it as a blessing. And this will forever be embedded in my mind: This kiss. *************** OK! All done! What did you think? Did you like it? Did you hate it? I really need to know! I'm thinking about writing another one, but I need to know whether it's worth it! E-mail me at - sailoreuropa@geocities.com. Thank you for reading it!