SNOWBALL'S CHANCE IN HELL
A PLAY: by Rain and Erik

ACT ONE
SCENE I
The time is the industrial revolution.
The characters are Theodore and Fyodor.
They do not have last names.  They don't need them.

The: Did you know we're in the middle of an industrial revolution?
Fyo: No, I hadn't realized that.
The: Well, we are.
	(pause)
	What the hell kind of name is Fyodor anyway?
Fyo: (pause) At least I don't  sound like one of the chipmunks.  	My name is bibliomantic. Its russian.
The: Hey, I didn't say I liked my name.  And are you russian or what?  The industrial revolution hasn't happened in the the Soviet Union yet.
Fyo: Just drop it okay.
	(sound of glass breaking)
	Thank you.
END SCENE 1

SCENE 2
Fyo: Sometimes it seems that we flounder like an open boat, and only a few of us will ever crawl up onto the shores of home.
The: Yes.  Is  that why you're wearing a life preserving vest?
Fyo: I wish you weren't so stupid.
	(pushes Theodore over side of the boat)
The: glub glub glub (dies)
Fyo: When man first realizes that nature does not care wether he lives or dies, he at first wishes to throw bricks at the temple.  He then realizes that there are no bricks and no temples.
	(brick comes hurling out of water and hits Fyodor on head.  He falls into water.)
Fyo: glub glub (dies)
END OF PLAY