A "noggin" is also a half a cupful of whatever.
Q. How does a lobster breathe?
A. Takes in water through
its legs, lets it out
through its head. Odd, but not
to the lobster, who
thinks we breathe funny maybe.
Q. What makes an "infant" different
from a "baby"?
A. "Infancy" comes from the
Latin for "without
language," so a baby is only an
infant until it
starts to talk.
Q. There are six classes of
musical instruments:
"string," "woodwind," "brass,"
"percussion,"
"keyboard" and "other." In which
is the harmonica?
A. "Other."
The Omaha Herald in 1877 printed
this advisory to
passengers of stage coaches: "Spit
on the leeward
side."
Medical records contain accounts
of women who've
given themselves cesarean sections
and men who've
given themselves appendectomies.
Q. "Why do city dogs live longer,
statistically,
than country dogs?"
A. Small dogs live longer
than large dogs, and
city dogs tend to be of the smaller
variety.
Q. What's the difference between
a pie and a
tart?
A. The tart is openfaced.
You're always in the exact
center of the rainbow
you see.This is not just philosophical,
it's
scientifically accurate.
"Ukraine" means "frontier."
You know the religious
denomination there that's growing
fastest? Baptist.
Takes a newborn chameleon
a couple of weeks to
change colors to match backgrounds.
It's born white.
Yes, deer will eat meat. So will rabbits.
Lot of animals have hands,
sort of. And can hold
them out flat. But only humans
can turn the palms
of the outstretched hands up then
down or down then
up.
Only before its first meal of the
day can the
electric eel zap out that 640 volts.
The "Second" avenues nationwide
outnumber the
"First"avenues.
Q. How long do big league
baseball players use
the same gloves?
A. Infielders, a year. Outfielders,
seven to 10
years. Typically.
Q. What's the opposite of
"extinct"?
A. "Extant."
Drivers drive faster when
other cars are around.
Whether those cars are behind,
in front, beside.
Curious how it works. (Note from
Mike: this explains why people
speed up when you're trying to
pass them)
Only captive-born and people-raised
parrots can
be taught to talk.
The original mincemeat in mincemeat
pies was the
flesh of small birds.
Researchers say fewer letter
carriers are bitten
by dogs in England than anywhere
else, but it's not
known whether this is due to the
temperament of
English dogs or to the speed of
English carriers.
Ugly creatures, lobsters. Most remain
unmated.
Not surprised.
Q. Where'd that old name for
a dog -- "Fido" --
come from?
A. Latin. Means "trusting,"
roughly. It's a cousin
of such words as fidelity, faithful,
fiduciary.
Any fisherman will tell you
it's against the law
to use goldfish for bait.
In the mid-1960s, scientists
came up with
straight bananas, but nobody would
buy them.
Few realize Abraham Lincoln's
likeness is
represented not once but twice
on the Lincoln penny.
Q. Who were the lifelong famous
lovers who never
saw eachother naked?
A. Robert and Elizabeth Browning,
the poets who
left personal footnotes.
A hopping kangaroo takes one breath per hop.
Eucalyptus leaves contain
a narcotic. That cute
little koala lives out most of
its life stoned.
Pepper is a vine.
Q. How do bullfrogs fight?
A. Each tries with its forelimbs
to hold the
other underwater until the weaker
gives up.
At least one in every five
South Koreans is
named Kim.
You get more mail on Thursdays, if typical.
Women eat more hotdogs than men do.
All polar bears have bad breath.
And that goes
foreagles, too.
Greenland's schools teach fur sewing.
To that lengthy list of arts
and crafts invented
by the Greeks, add counterfeiting.
Ninety-four percent of the
hunters who go out to
shoot wild turkeys come back without
wild turkeys.
If you order your delivered
pizza uncut, it
should get to your place about
10 degrees hotter.
Or so says a pizzamaker.
Owls outlive elephants.
Not all realize obesity is
a problem among caged
parrots.
The "mezzo" in "mezzo-soprano"
means "middle,"
that's all.
Were you aware it's 46 percent
easier to push a
wheel barrow than to pull one?
Among army ants, the commanding
general is
always female.
It's reported more men than
women use deodorant.
There's a reason for everything,
I guess.
Q. What sort of plaything
is in the most homes
worldwide? A. Crayons.
You're colorblind at dusk.
The walrus feeds while standing
on its
head inwater.
Having no thumb, a baby elephant
sucks its
trunk.
A barnacle lives all its life upside down.
Q. What does a gorilla do
to show anger?
A. Curls its fingers.
Believe I forgot to mention
that mice can't
stand the smell of fresh peppermint.
The Mayflower, too, hauled slaves.
X-ray a live snake and you'll kill it.
Elephants can uncork champagne
bottles with
their trunks. At least, some can.
If it's not wet, a fly can't eat it.
A grasshopper's eggs won't
hatch unless they've
been frozen.
There's a kind of shrimp with
eyes in
its tail, so predators have to
sneak up in front of
it.
A mother porpoise nurses her
baby for a year and
a half and burps the little rascal
by tapping its
underside with her nose.
Suppose you knew the female
bird only has one
ovary.
Surgeons use the blunt end of the
scalpel more than the sharp end.
Chinese chopsticks are bigger
than Japanese chopsticks.
A penguin can swim a lot faster than a salmon.
Men walk from the knee. Women walk from the hip.
Sprinkle salt on a garden
slug and it will
dissolve. Not the salt. The slug.
Tumbleweeds don't grow on uncultivated land.
A third of the quarterhorses live in town.
Q. How come you can never
find a belly button on
a cat or a dog?
A. The cord is bitten, not
tied off.
Guinea pigs don't sweat.
The women in Cuba have long
needed permits to
buy bras.
Q. Can ladybugs fly backwards?
A. Only on takeoff.
Great horned owls lay round eggs.
Q. The color "ecru" is beige,
right?
A. Sort of. It's not really
a color. Means raw,
unbleached.
Termites can't see.
Both Thomas Edison and A.
Conan Doyle seriously
experimented with devices they
thought might let
them talk to the dead.
Q. How many skiers die in
avalanches each year?
A. About 150. Most set off
avalanches themselves.
No Pilgrim could wear that
Pilgrim's hat -- wide
brim, high crown -- unless he owned
property worth
at least 200 pounds.
Q. How do we know the Egyptians
as far back as
2500 B.C.did surgical operations?
A. Such are depicted. On
old tombs, significantly.
Berthed ships make groaning
whining noises --
rubbing of wood against wood --
heard nowhere but
along the waterfront. If you've
lived around those
sounds, the memory of them never
goes away. It's
said seafarers and long shoremen
hear them in their
sleep until they die.
When telling a lie, a person's
voice tends to
rise. That's one of the things
those voice print
experts look for.
One job is offered for every
1,470 resumes sent
in. This is the average at last
report.
12,731 B-17 bombers were made during World War II.
Shortbread isn't a bread. It's a thick cookie.