-See ya later, crap with feet. (Drew Carey Show)
-Drew, you thrive on tedium. I've seen you giggle over the Xerox manual. (DCS)
-Joe said I'm the life of the party. / This party don't deserve to live. (All in the Family)
-Forget "patheti-sad," is "weir-dork" a word? / How about "sarcasta-bitch," is that a word? (DCS)
-I can't beleive I did that in front of my Troll Dolls. (Mimi, after having cybersex; DCS)
-Me over Parma do do do do do do do... (Moon, situated above Cleveland, DCS)
-...so when you think about it, kissing someone is just pressing your lips against the sweet end of 66 feet of intestines. (DCS)
-Oooh, a Gary Larson calendar! [flips through it] I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I... don't get it. (Simpsons)
-Mimi, you're a night person, for obvious reasons. (DCS)
-The only thing you had to do to be in the Drew Carey club was be Drew Carey. Somehow you became the president and kicked me out. (Drew Carey, DCS)
-Where's all this globnal warming I've been hearing about? That's all I'm doin in teh winter, sittin outside with an aerosol can, shhhhhhhht... "Fuck the grandkids, I'm cold now!" (Drew Carey standup routine)
-Dolphin-safe tuna. Great if you're a dolphin, but what if you're a fuckin tuna? Tunas floppin around, "Hey, what about me, you son of a bitch?!" (Drew Carey standup routine)
-I've been naked on every surface of your office. Toodles. (DCS)
-Look into my eyes and tell me you don't feel like crying. / There's not a man on earth that could pass that test, Mimi. (DCS)
-I'm the kind of guy who picks up the remote and- what happens, happens. (DCS)
-Excuse me sir, you can'r operate a boat under the influence of alcohol. / Sounds like a wager to me, boy. (Simpsons)
-You think I'm trying to piss you off? / You piss people off just saying Good Morning.
-You call me by my last name, you put a "mister" in front of it! / I could think of something else to call you. I can put a "mister" in front of that, too, if you want. (X-Files)
-A stripper at a bachelor party is so cliche. Why don't you guys get a magician? / Well, if the magician can open my beer with butt-cheeks, then okay. (Friends)
-This spin is rooming! (Mr. Wick, DCS)
-At least I didn't mention those toboggans she calls feet. / As big as my foot may be, I might lose it where I'm about to stick it. (DS)
-I don't drink. / Then I guess I got my work cut out for me. (DCS)
-I'm just remembering an office rule. Employees can't date... uh... you. (DCS)
-I'm looking for someone to design a holiday window display, Mimi, and since you _are_ a holiday window display, I picked you. (DCS)
-That's what dating me is like- emabrrassing, but you'll kinda like it. (DCS)
-I saw Sally Struthers walkin down the street. Gave her a dollar, felt sorry for her. (Drew Carey standup routine)
-It's craptacular! (Simpsons)
-I got a Tickle me Krusty! [pulls string] / Hey, kid, get your finger out of there! (Simpsons)
-So it was all a sc am, and on Christmas! / Yeah, Jesus must be spinning in his grave. (Simpsons)
-I warn you, I'm a nudist and I'm friendly. (DCS)
-This house belongs to a drug-addicted foreigner who likes to be spanked. [Wick opens door] (DCS)
-Try these. I call them "Angel Wings." / They're Pringles. / I call them "Angel Wings." / Anybody care for some Ho Ho Ho Ho-Hos? (DCS)
-I'm filled with piss and vinegar. At first I was just filled with vinegar. (Simpsons)
-My dad worked in a place like this. Hung himself from something like that. (DCS)
-Mimi, Eric. Eric, Mimi / Thank God, I thought I was the only one who saw her. (DCS)
-Maybe it's just cold outside, but this flasher's got little to hide (Whose Line is it Anyway-WLiiA)
-Lisa, too spicy for you? / I can see through time! (Simpsons)
-Medically speaking, how dinky is your wang? (Saturday Night Live-SNL)
-Hey Dad, I heard you swearing, can I join? Crap boobs crap hell damn fart. (Simpsons)
-Do you wear boxers or briefs? / Nope. (Simpsons)
-In 1999, will there be a permanent stain on Clinton's presidency? / No, in 1999, his aim will be much better. (Tonight Show)
-I hate sushi. Sushi is what you use to catch other things. (unknown)
-I got single guys throwin themselves at me. / Is that after they're out of bullets and they've already thrown the gun? (DCS)
-What personality are you today? / That would be "bitch," now sit down! (Roseanne Show)
-How far away did you park? / Gdansk. (Roseanne-sitcom)
-Did something crawl down your throat and die? / It didn't die! (Simpsons)
-First naked woman I ever saw was Drew's mom. / I remember that night. That was one helluva Cub Scout meeting. (DCS)
-I want to thank everyone who still loves our show. Clearly, I've made a huge mistake. (Jerry Seinfeld, People's Choice Awards 1999)
-So this is Celia, she's a vintage model. / You should get a car, Mr. Wick. You can cut down on the rentals. (DCS)
-Greek Theater. / Testi-clees... (Whose Line is it Anyway?)
-Queen Is-a-fella. (DCS)
-Softball-sized testicles terrify girls (Ailment label, Loveline)