This is freakin' rich. Check this bilge:

Billionaire Mark Cuban, owner of the National Basketball Association's Dallas Mavericks, voted for Bush — twice. Cuban knows a thing or two about big spending, once starring in ABC's reality TV show, "The Benefactor," in which 16 contenders tried to pass his test for success and win $1 million.

Cuban questioned spending all that money on the inaugural.

"As a country, we face huge deficits. We face a declining economy. We have service people dying. We face responsibilities to help those suffering from the ... devastation of the tsunamis," he wrote on his blog, a Web journal.

Cuban challenged Bush to set an example: "Start by canceling your inauguration parties and festivities."

I swear, if Bush signed over everything he owned to a charity, he'd be criticized for it before the freakin' ink dried. Now he's evil for daring to be inaugurated, or as the thoroughly frustrated Kerry supporters are calling, his "coronation." Bring on some copious amounts of purple Kool-Aid with that special additive. The Blue Tribe needs to be put out of it's pathetic misery already.

Sez me.

Then there's this...hysterical gibberish that came from WILK yesterday.

A regular caller to WILK, "Duke from Dallas," said that George "Hitler" Bush needs to eliminate the Selective Service registrations to prove to us that he's not the evil liar the members of the Blue Tribe all know (?) that he is.

So for the first time in modern history, a president has been called on the carpet for not suspending the registrations. And if he refuses to do so, that's proof (?) that he's bringing back the draft. I say again, listen to yourselves, will you?

Jeez, oh Pete!. She may have been sh*t-canned, but Allison is not going away. From the e-mail inbox:

*******Marc,

Okay here is the scoop on the demise of the little tyrantress. Evidently in recent weeks she went on a rampage in the newsroom and fired three people in a very public and humiliating manner and then added insult to injury by having them escorted out of the building without even a chance to clean out their desks of personal items. These people contacted the Leader's head of Human Resources and got nowhere.

Undaunted they contacted Knight Ridder (TL's parent company) in San Francisco and contacted the corporate head of HR. An investigation was begun, people who worked previously at the TL and who have moved on to other papers in the Knight Ridder system were consulted and the end result?

The other morning Times Leader Publisher Patrick McHugh received the word to have the tyrantress removed from the building. Word is that the local HR head was also giving her walking papers as well.

I agree with you on the kindler, gentler TL. I can say that my experiences with one of the newer reporters Jon Fox has been nothing but positive.

Thanks for the glowing endorsement of my 15 seconds of the fame the other night. Have a funny feeling there will be a repeat Monday night. This time I'll make sure I shave so I look pretty for the bright lights.

P.S. The new calendars are almost done, let me know if wifey needs one and I will send it over to the adobe. Would have been done back in December but balancing this years budget was really tough thanks to the gready bastards at Blue Cross.*******

Wouldn't it have been much easier to just hit her with a bucket of water and watch her melt? Then again, that'd probably be too much like committing a murder. Assault with a deadly H2O???

Television again? Make sure you wear a Lawrence Taylor jersey. Or a Braves cap. Or a "Have you kissed a blogger today?" T-shirt. I dunno. Somethin' good.

The calender sounds like a plan. Ever since Tom Leighton took office and discontinued our city calendars, we've been having a helluva time trying to figure out what day it is. It's awfully cold for August, don't ya think?

And it's interesting that you happened to mention the disgustingly high cost of health care. I snagged this from WBRE's web site last night:

Geisinger to Open New Facility

Good news for people who need surgery in Central Pennsylvania. Geisinger Medical Center is opening a brand new, 16-million dollar surgical center.

One employee calls it the "Hilton of hospitals."

Besides the medical basics.. there are extras like a cafe.. reclining chairs in pre-op rooms.. and pagers for patients to wear.. so they`re not stuck in the waiting room.

The new center officially opens for business on Monday -- in Mahoning Township.

Pagers for patients to wear.. so they`re not stuck in the waiting room???

Am I dreaming? Is this for real? Pagers for patients so they can go on an extended walkabout while waiting to have their horribly mutated left sack removed? Why does health care cost so much? Gee, I can't figure it out. I haven't a single clue.

What, no GameBoys? No wireless palmtops? How's about a few Xboxes in the lobby? And we shouldn't discriminate against the legions of Play Station II fans. Let's grab a few of those while we're at it.

Greedy bastards? Perhaps. Stupid bastards? I vote for the latter.

How about this one...from Neal Boortz:

There are only two reasons to oppose private accounts for Social Security. (1) You know that if people own their own Social Security Accounts you will not be able to frighten them with the "So-and-so wants to take away your Social Security" line during elections; or, (2) You need more money to spend to buy votes in your State or District.

Bush wants to stop your checks, seniors. What a foul and evil man. (?)

Here's a couple of factoids for ya:

1. The U.S. is the only industrialized country wherein the poverty rate among our children is higher than that of our senior citizens.

2. The senior citizens in the U.S. have the highest per capita income among seniors citizens in every industrialized nation.

Children can't vote. And for the most part, young folks don't vote. But the A.A.R.P. folks do vote in freakin' droves. Hence, a grossly disproportionate percentage of our national resources are spent kowtowing to the more well-heeled folks at the expense of our younger and much poorer folks, namely our children. You know, our future.

Should we be currying political favor with the folks in the twilight years at the expense of our children? Would you rather see more increases for the 'spensive programs aimed at helping the Las Vegas and Atlantic City regulars? Or would you rather see a 50, or possibly a 100 percent increase in Pell grants?

Repeat after me: BANG!!!

Attention Chamber of...Commerce types and all other concerned urban planners.

Alrighty then...believe it or not, the downtown Wilkes-Barre theater project is finally underway. I'm hoping that some visible signs of progress will lead to an upswing in the collective mood of some of our grumpier residents, but I'm not holding my breathe.

Anyway, if anyone had any thoughts at all about attracting some serious businesses down there to movieland, the time is now to get that sort of idea rolling. And if they might need some assistance with the financing, this might be the place to start. This is from the Governor's official e-mail newsletter:

GOVERNOR RENDELL ANNOUNCES PARTNERSHIP WITH SOVEREIGN BANK TO FOCUS ON HELP FOR SMALL BUSINESSES

1/14/2005 - HARRISBURG: Governor Rendell announced a program this week that will further strengthen his economic stimulus plan by boosting job creation and retention in the Commonwealth.

Pennsylvania is partnering with Sovereign Bank to offer up to $250 million in loans to the Commonwealth’s entrepreneurs and growing businesses through the new Pennsylvania Small Business Growth Lending Program. Sovereign Bank will provide loans ranging from $250,000 to $2.5 million throughout 2005 for companies with less than $10 million in annual revenues. Interest rates offered will be below market rates. Small businesses create more than two out of three new jobs nationally and promote diversity and economic advancement.

“Sovereign Bank shares my continuing goal to create new jobs and opportunities for Pennsylvanians, which makes for an ideal partnership” said Governor Rendell. “This program echoes my unwavering goal of energizing our economy and establishing Pennsylvania as a formidable economic leader.”

For more information, see the complete Press Release.

This is a such...a friggin' rush. Should we as a nation adopt a nationalized I.D. system? Should our medical records, financial info and waist sizes be available to whomever might pretent to need access to them? Should they? Or should we defend to the very end our constitutional right to privacy?

Too deep a subject to even consider? No biggie. Try ordering a freakin' pizza from Pizza Palace instead.

Alright, so it's a gross exaggeration of the truth produced for the easily manipulated Bush-bashers, but it is funny as all heck. Plus, this national I.D. system that has been bandied about for a couple of decades is now being blamed on none other than George "Hitler" Bush himself. What's not to like?

Need to brush up on your paltry history skills? Well, here ya go. Funny, not that I'm questioning his education, but I thought of Copper Dude when I ran across this site. Enjoy, dude. Try not to bang your head off of anything.

Woke up, got out of bed...dragged a comb across my head. Well, not exactly. Woke up, got out of bed. Dragged the Times Leader in from the porch. And as I sipped my first sip of tea, I laid the Times Leader out before me and what did my semi-shuttered eyeballs bestow upon me? County hires son of Kanes

Son of Kanes? My initial reaction to that headline? Sounds...sounds almost Biblical, don't it?

And God said onto the Son of Kanes, go forth, be fruitful and multiply. And thou shalt not lie down with the nepotists. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's political job. Thou shalt not...well, you get the idea.

Any freakin' way, I took a glance at that headline and I just knew that 1. SAYSO should be chock-full of goodies this week. And 2., the e-mail inbox would definately be worth a peak this morning. And click on the "read" icon I did. Actually, I was almost disappointed. Three e-mails blasting the Kanes? That's it? Jesus, man. You people are losing your fargin' touch. I'm not going to post those e-mails here. You already know what they had to say.

I'll start by mentioning this previously unknown fact. I have received numerous e-mails putting me on notice that "Son of Kanes" was about to graduate from college, or had just graduated from college a while back. I don't even remember when because I deleted them faster than Walter Griffith can sense a WNEP camera battery being activated within Wilkes-Barre's confines. The gist of those e-mails, no, the promise those e-mails made was that just as soon as "Son of Kanes" claimed his college degree, he'd be hired as a full-time teacher by the WBSD so fast, it'd make your head spin ala Linda Blair. In other words, rank and connections has it's priviledges, such as unchecked nepotism. Anywho, I deleted those e-mails and forgot about them. Until now that is.

Obviously, the "council/mommy-was-a-teacher-so-junior-will-be-a teacher" theory has failed to come to fruition. Instead, Junior went and got himself hired to a county job that pays $24,500 a year. First off, if anyone out there is pissed that they didn't get that less than lucrative position, I'm here to tell them to start shooting just a tad higher in the future. $24,500 may be an acceptable entry level salary for some kid just out of the gates, but if we're gonna start crying nepotism over those measly shillings; we deserve to be known as the home of SAYSO. Secondly, if $24,500 is all that some well-entrenched political connections can get someone these days, I'm suddenly happy that my mommy was about as politically connected as an adult Mud Skipper.

Born into society a (pick one) only son, he had everything a man could want: power, grace and a tipstaff/secretary job.

Does something sound slightly amiss with that?

And what the muck is a "tipstaff/secretary" position, anyway? What is that? Who would apply for such a position? A kid with a degree in sports medicine, or broadcast communications? Or a kid with a degree in political science? Where should we expect a kid with such a degree to apply at? Olive Garden? Abe's Hot Dogs? Borten-Lawson Engineering? PP&L? Family Dollar? Or would it make more sense for a kid with a degree in political science to apply for a city, county or state government job? I don't get some of you people. I really don't.

If the kid had been hired by the county as Skrep's arm-wrestling coach at, say, $65,000 a year, then I'd join in the chorus of boos from the crowd. If Vodd Tonderheid had created a new and highly lucrative position for said kid encompassing little more than video solitaire, then I'd be ready to storm the courthouse with a pitchfork in one hand and a torch in the other.

But when a kid with well-established political connections lands a county job we've never even heard of before, and pays less than a battle-tested full-time waitress typically earns; I'm thinking that he probably landed the job all by his lonesome.

Tipstaff/secretary?

Lonesome? Like Lonesome Cowboy Mark?

What in tarnation? Y'all gonna haffa do betta den dat iffin' y'all want me ta git affah the sumbitchin' feller. Gotsta go. Dat stupit mutt went and got 'is goll-danged head stuck in the pricker bushes a'gin. And Opal's got me and Hoby some monkey meat melts hot off the danged charcoals.

Did I eva tell ya she's a hot lil' bitch?

Here's lookin' atcha!