Speak when you are angry--and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.--Laurence J. Peter

The truth be told, there are those rarest of days when I get a hankerin' for pulling up stakes, staking my claim to some godforsaken rock cut of a place in the middle of nowhere, and saying audios to this entire program of ours. Yessiree! I'll pack up the CDs, the guitars, the empty Jim Beam bottles and head for the hills where mowing the lawn in one's bedraggled underwear does not violate any local ordinances.

That's the ticket, alright. I could find me a place where burning the garbage out back is encouraged, and where driving a John Deere while visibly intoxicated with a retarded coon dog on my lap would not get the Sisters Inbred to bat as much as an eye. What's so wrong about stackin' broken down appliances on the side of the house anyway? The field mice need a roof over their heads too, ya figure? The grandkids could crawl all over my growin' collection of fallen and rustin' motor vehicles. I reckon it wouldn't be no worse'n what we got now. How much could a godforsaken rock cut cost me anyways? Couldn't be any more'n what city livin' is all about.

Iffin' I did head for the hills, I wouldn't have to put up with any more of these damn flammin' folks that think they got the knowin' of how to run a big city and all, but haven't had a friggin' clue since the mines went and flooded and the locomotives stopped rollin' into town. They've been happy as pigs in slop with their rust-belt culm pile of a place for many a moon. But now that the local firehouse went the way of the six-legged river bats, those very same cusses that fancy themselves as would-be baby kissers are all've a sudden goll derned experts on govmint, fedrule and otherwise.

And I get all riled up with them being so agin me all the time. When I said the old mayor was doing a horrible job, I was taken to Uncle Clem's woodshed and called of all sorts of things not suitable for Grannie's ears. And when I got to sayin' that the new mayor down at Govmint Central was doin' a good job, I was taken to Uncle Clem's woodshed and called of all sorts of things not suitable for Grannie's ears. Maybe I should take this ol' gal o' mine and get on with things 'cept for the lot of you. Y'all wouldn't know the difference between moonshine spiked with power steering fluid, and moonshine spiked with tile cleaner. And yet, y'all seem plum full of yerselves when it comes to makin' things right around here. Yer all lined up hootin', hollarin', and a raisin' a ruckus about fixin' most things and tryin' to tell us how to do the fixin' when you shoulda been raisin' a big ole fuss, oh, I reckon somewheres about five years ago. Cuzzin Jiggy says y'all make 'bout as much sense as tryin' to corner and put to pasture a rabid coon with a rake. He should know. Right after he quit the third grade, he did battle with a rabid coon down by the old saw mill. I can't say he liked it none too much, and he sure misses those three fingers that got chewed off.

As step-pappy used to always git to sayin' to us wild-eyed boys, ya ought not stick it wherein' it don't much belong. And that good advice applies not only to seldom-used sexual organs, it too applies to folks who git to thinkin' like a big sexual organ. And the way I sees it, that's what's jammin' up the works in this here big city: Too many dickheads stickin' where they ought not be stickin'.

Sez me, I reckon.

Opal...you hot lil' bitch!!! Get me a goll danged beer and shake that f**kin' money maker yer sittin' on!!!

This is from the forum page. Anonymity has it's advantadges. You can say whatever you want. And you don't have to get anything right.

Why the attention on S.Main St.? -- Mr. Oblivious, 00:41:17 07/26/05 Tue [1] "Crime is up 39%? Really? And who is being affected by it? For the most part, it's the criminals themselves being affected. Big frickin' whoop! " Ah, Zorcong, the all-knowing, king of the common man, Citizen Raising Kane, what have you gone and defended? Rising crime rates? Do you realize what happens when crime invades cities. It breeds crime. Just like dogs in heat, the drug dealers and pimps need more money, more cars, more guns, more women. Remember, when you, I or soccer mom drive down S. Main St. for a movie, Raul from the Lower East End isn't going to give a shit if you get in his way. He has a job to do whether it's day, night or Christmas Eve. If he wants to jack your new Kia, it's his. The chief is on target when he talks about those looking for trouble getting it. But it only takes one. I've said it before and the chief must be reading my messages, it only takes one Wilkes co-ed to be hurt, one teen at the movies to be robbed, one serious shootout, and those movies will be playing to empty seats. There is too much riding on that theatre to not make S. Main St. the top priority in the fight over crime in the city. "I believe" will be really hard if you have to feel unsafe trying to be an upstanding citizen just out to see a movie.

I defended rising crime rates? I did nothing of the sort. But I could care less what the idiots of the world do to each other. I could really care less.

Do you really think you're the only person that knows we need to ramp up the city's police presence? We've got ten new cops on our streets right now and another one in training. That's eleven new cops hired this year alone. Although, I must say that I agree with you on most of your points. But it's not like we haven't explored the clean, neat and safe angle before, no?

A Kia? Are you serious? No self-respecting criminal would 'jack a Kia, would they?

Tell me you don't own anything as completely lame as a Kia.

Kane Raising Citizen out!!!

(?)

I just watched the WBRE report on the "fire controversy" in the Heights. Honestly, I'm a bit shocked by what the homeowner had to say about the response times to his burning home. The way I figured it, the very first time the fire department did get caught out of position and responded slowly to any emergency in the Heights, the phones of the phony baloney activists would be ringing from Willow Street to Northampton Street to East Main Street. But I never thought anyone would go before the press and start telling fibs. How low will these people go?

Judging by the map, with East Station closed, a structure fire on Empire Street should prove to be the ultimate test for our hose dudes as far as response times are concerned. So when the tone went out at 18:01 you know my weird-looking ears perked right up. Here's the way it went down in Scanner Land.

At that point, I just sat back and listened to the hose dudes ply their impressive skills. I was satisfied in the knowledge that the first firefighters were on scene within 2:46 as was confirmed by a 911 supervisor from Scanner Land. And according to the WBRE bit, Ladder 1 was on scene in 4:07, as confirmed by the 911 folks. In the lowest of common parlances, that's pretty fu*king good. That's quick. And by 18:47, F-6 was asking for F-8 so as to investigate the cause of the fire.

So, even without East Station, our fire department's response time was, say, 3-4 minutes. Who could possibly have a problem with that? Well, that is to say, other than those folks in the Heights? The homeowner told WBRE that the fire department, "didn't respond quick enough." Even though those garish looking signs in the Heights make the claim, "Response times 5-6 minutes: Not acceptable!, now, according to one of their own, 2:46 is not acceptable either. Apparently, the only thing that will satisfy the fibbers in the Heights is that they receive faster response times than the rest of the city can reasonably expect.

There's an old Yiddish phrase that escapes me right at this moment, oh...yeah, get a freakin' grip!!!

But the non-incident got even better at 8:47.

So, it's 95 degrees outside and the hose dudes get to play at the same place twice in a few hours. Oh joy! Other than listening to the fire being fought, what else could possibly happen? Right? Ah, but it gets even more interesting. At 22:02, F-8, the hose dude that determines the causes of structure fires was checking on the availability of 490, the copper dude that investigates arson fires. Nifty! And when made aware by the 911 folks that 490 was not available, he requested that a detective be dispatched to the fire ground. Nifty! The 2nd fire go-round at 75 N. Empire was the work of an arsonist. Wow! Somebody torched the place, and according to WBRE, it was torched in "multiple starting points away from the point of the original fire." Nifty!

So, one or more of the very same folks that are demanding better fire protection than the remainder of the city recieves have set about starting structure fires. Isn't that special? They claim they're worried about their safety, but where's the concern for the lives of the first responders? Huh?

What's up with that? They got their too quick the first time, so someone thought they'd set the place ablaze once more and hope that those dog-tired fire fighters wouldn't get there quite as quick the second time around?

Come on Mayor...light my firehouse???

It seems to me that some of those folks in the Heights don't need any help lighting anything. I never thought that anyone would stoop to this. I was busting people's smallish gonads by writing, "Try not to set the Heights on fire!" And here, the crazy fu*kers are doing it on purpose.

Controversy? There's no controversy here. There are people trying to create a fire controversy armed only with an accelerant and a pack of matches. But other than that, this is a non-story.

3-4 minute response times--Not acceptable?

Our fire department should be applauded for their efforts last night, not denigrated. But, this is what the hilltopper activists wanted. They wanted to create controversy and they wanted press. They wanted the Heights residents worked up into a political frenzy. And while they might think they achieved a couple of their objectives with this bullspit, if an arson arrest is made, they're gonna look to the rest of the city like a bunch of friggin' assholes setting arson fires to score some political points. In many respects, they already do.

Come on baby light my...whatever it takes!

Anyone not afraid to tell it the way it is has got serious balls in a world where emasculation rules the politically correct climate. Kev's unstated problem with the police chief is that Kev could never, ever be what he is. Namely, a man. Whatever. The test of time will prove Kevin to be way off-base, and our top cop to being right on the mark. So what else is new? The grumpy old Euro-socialist wannabe was wrong again. Go figure.

I type the way Dessoye speaks?

I'll take that as a major compliment.

Thanx.

Yeah. And neither do the arsonists residing in the Heights.

I see our anonymous friend from Save My City has finally re-emerged. What? No Quints? What happened to the Quints?

Please, teach us more, oh mighty Googler.

And on that note...

Later