“We would really look stupid if Iraqis applaud the arrival of Americans.”-- Dominique Dord, a deputy from French President Jacques Chirac's own party

Auditor Bad/Mayor Good

Here we go again! I told y’all two weeks ago when the mayor claimed that the dubious draft purportedly showing that we had a surplus at the conclusion of 2001 was exactly that-a draft. A draft is not a finalized audit, a draft is a preliminary, but very educated best guess.

The “draft letter” as it is being called now from the firm that audited the city, Parente Randolph, suggests that the city has a myriad of financial problems and shaky practices that need to be attended to, or changed completely.

Here’s a cut from today’s Voice:

The management letter from Parente Randolph, the agency that performed the city's 2001 audit, is only a draft and is not the firm's final determination. The city's administration met with Parente Randolph to discuss the concerns and a final management letter will be prepared in coming weeks.

Isn’t that what I pointed out when the mayor trumpeted the “draft” as proof that the city was just drowning in cash two weeks ago? According to our mayor, two weeks ago it was a good thing, now it’s suddenly a bad thing. The draft or the audit or the draft audit or the draft letter or the survey note or review estimate or whatever the funk the mayor deems it necessary to call it is now a political attack!

The utter rejectamenta that passes as proof of progress in this city these days is becoming unbearable. Rather than admitting that the city is in dire straits while facing an election challenge, our mayor continues to equivocate while Wilkes-Barre races toward Act 47 status.

Here’s another snippet from the Voice story:

As for McGroarty, he labeled the draft letter a political attack...

In other words, now auditors have been added to the seriously lengthy list of politically motivated scoundrels that are picking on the child/king. Why, I’d bet that those auditors are too good for Wilkes-Barre! I betcha they reside in the Back Mountain or the equally dreaded Glenmaura! Rich people! Rich people are conspiring to damage the credibility of the rightful and all-knowing heir to Wilkes-Barre’s throne. The King of the supposed stupid, ugly and ignorant serfs of Wilkes-Barre that are so completely stupid that we don’t realize that our king and his mediocre knights of the round table talk to us as if we were five chromosomes short of being considered members of the human race and definitely at the very bottom of the bell curve.

Here’s where we’re at Mr. McKing:

With increasing frequency, the residents of this city are seeing through the falsehoods, fabrications and cock-and-bull stories that are issued to us in the form of useless press releases and newspaper articles. You and only you have managed to motivate people to attend city council meetings, once an unimaginable happening in a city known for it’s apathetic and straight party ticket populace. We have noticed that damage control and constant spin are somehow supposed to pass as legitimate leadership. The personal attacks on everyone or anyone that suggests that Wilkes-Barre is in less than capable hands are alarming and very embarrassing to those of us wondering what good the city charter is when one man can so easily claim ownership of and run rough-shod over our city.

While you have been so busy instructing city workers on how to sweep or how to gas-up or where to park their vehicle or how to plow, the city has been physically and financially laid to waste. Despite the nonstop orgy of smoke screens, outright lies and obfuscation that somehow passed for elected government for roughly six years, you know it and we know it. Your gigantic ego and lack of employable skills force you to seek a third term, but if you succeed in being re-elected, you will see an exodus of epic proportions of the last of the productive folks march out of this city. You’ll have your throne, your assorted cronies and bloated do-nothings and Wilkes-Barre as we knew it will be histoire.

Will the last person to leave Wilkes-Barre make sure to turn the lights off? That’s highly doubtful, as they have fallen down or been removed without a viable replacement plan in place.

I just saw on CNN that tens of thousands of people in NYC are protesting the decision to invade Iraq. All they are saying is give Saddam a chance. Most of the protestors, despite what the press may tell you after words, are college-aged kids. I can’t help wondering about their parents. Are they simply allowing their children to “express themselves” as I so often hear parents say? My childhood was filled with ultra-violence, constant turmoil and extremely low self esteem, so I can’t explain exactly what influenced the decisions I made as the father of three kids. I can tell you this. They didn’t tell me what they were going to do. I told them what they were allowed to do.

One wanted to wear those droopy hip-hop pants to Coughlin, but he quickly learned that a beating might commence if I found out that he actually wore them one time. He learned that in my opinion, earrings were for chicks only. Purple or green dyed hair? Not in this mucking house champ! Tattoos? When I see one on your body, I’ll turn the rest of your skin black and blue! I had to police my girls at times too. You’re going out on a date with who? Guess again Missy! You want to pierce your ears how many times? WRONG! Body piercings? They never even proposed such a ridiculous thing to me. They knew better.

They were not allowed to play rap music in this house, because in my opinion, rap music is filled with mostly negative messages. They were reminded that I loathe country music and the result was-I didn’t have to hear any until Ebon discovered The Dixie Chicks. Yuk! They knew that despite the fact that I was a confused kid that didn’t give a hoot about my own education as a teenager, their grades would be above average or else. No, I didn’t demand that their name appear on each and every honor roll, only that they were following through on what passes as education these days. Being a voracious, almost legendary reader of things that interested me, I knew all along that their eventual education would commence after they completed high school. The boy constantly disappointed me when he presented his report cards to me, but even though I often reacted very, very angrily when presented with them, I knew deep down that much of what makes him tick is easily explained in one word-heredity.

So. I’m watching these geopolitically clueless, college-aged kids displaying their silly signs and listening to their on cue moronically chanted slogans and I’m wondering why they there in the first place. Did their parents know they were going to travel to NYC and protest their own country and their own president? I think they did, sort of. It probably started like this:

Dad, I’m going to NYC to protest the war with my college professor. He says that America is fatally flawed, imperialistic and an un-checked danger to all of mankind. He’s the same one that I told you about that taught me that socialism is preferable to capitalism, Bush is a complete moron and how amazing it can be to tickle one’s prostrate with a carrot. That’s nice son. Damn! Microsoft is down another ten points! What did you say Timmy? Timmy? Timmy? Oh well. HAVE FUN! Honey, call that sumbitch broker, we need to dump Microsoft now!

If my kid ever did anything un-patriotic, I would grab them by the hair and force them to watch the History Channel until they eventually “got it.” The world is a dangerous place at times and when the danger level increases to unacceptable levels or war has been declared on us, we are Americans first and foremost. That’s what I taught all three of them. It’s called Patriotism and lately it’s been declared a dirty word by the folks that really don’t understand or are so willing to forget that we didn’t start the war that was declared upon us. Remember, we’re the Great Satan that must be quickly brought to it’s knees before the mythical god of some ancient work of fiction.

The ultimate goal of any terrorist is to kill as many innocent people as they can. That is their stated purpose. The terrorists of the world have stated that America will be targeted for further terrorist acts until we are either all dead or give in to their first century, simpleton teachings. Our current President has decided to counter their stated purposes and fantasies about the deaths of thousands and if possible, millions of Americans. What’s to protest?

My point? I would hang my head in shame if any of my kids thought that it was cool or somehow fashionable to discredit the country that offers them and the rest of the world the best that humanity has to offer after it came under attack from a group of lawless renegades. I taught my kids to respect the folks that they encounter, respect their property and remember that they live in the greatest country in the history of this troubled planet. They have all three learned well from their staunchly pro-American dad.

While we should always question the acts of our government, we should not do it from a position of ignorance.

When I see kids that don’t even know how many countries border Iraq or couldn’t find Iowa on a map to save their life yelling “No blood for oil” I am totally disheartened by it and I can’t help but to wonder about how they came to be doing that. I think their parents failed them to a large degree.

Here’s a tip on another possible election year gambit. The powers (LOFL) that be in this city including code enforcement types swarmed upon the Northeast fire station and took pictures of most of it, including the massively leaking roof yesterday. This relatively new firehouse has not seen a penny in maintenance since the current joke of an administration took office. The roof leaks in so many places and has done so for years that the firefighters manning this station have dubbed it “The Rain Forest.” All of a sudden, during an election season, we’re either interested in repairing it or who knows, possibly condemning it? We shall see, but remember, when you read the published accounts of whatever is going on with that smallish structure-the truth of the situation might not be included.

One more McKing quote from the morning papers:

"You risk federal dollars; I don't make the rules."

I don’t make the rules? He is becoming increasingly laughable. Nah, he doesn’t make the rules-he BREAKS the rules. That’s why Wilkes-Barre sucks at this point in time.

It's 4:30 p.m. The concert is about to begin. Feel free to join me. First up?

The Ramones.

TLFM