We're going to pre-check it, we're going to have a legal team in place....we're going to take injunctions where necessary ahead of time. I don't think we ought to have any vote cast in America that cannot be traced and properly recounted.--Guess who? John Kerry, in Florida responding to a question about how he'll prevent Dubya from stealing another election. (?)

This guy is a f**king charlatan. A joke. We're going to prepare to recount the votes before they're even cast? He calls Dubya a divider and himself a uniter but, his actions suggest otherwise. It's obvious he learned nothing from Al Gore's divisive and self-centered mistakes in 2000.

Not only do we want a record level of turnout to vote, we want to guarantee that every vote is counted.

How many times did they count and recount those freaking chads during the last go-round? The Dems tried it. The election officials tried it. The press tried it. And Gore came out on the short end every time. and Bush is being painted as a liar?

President Clinton was often known as the first black president. I wouldn't be upset if I could earn the right to be the second.--John Kerry on The American Urban Radio Network last week.

John Kerry is not a black man — he is a privileged white man who has no idea what it is in this country to be a poor white in this country, let alone a black man.--Paula Diane Harris, founder of the Andrew Young National Center for Social Change.

OUCH!!!!

If the president of the United States can find the time to go to a rodeo, he can find the time to do more than one hour in front of a commission that is investigating what happened to America's intelligence and why we are not stronger today.--John Kerry

HA! HA! HA! The senator must think we don't know about his attempt to gut the funding of our intelligence agencies when he proposed a bill to do so and no one, no one co-sponsored it.

Dubya's turn:

My opponent clearly has strong beliefs - they just don't last very long.

Can you say, "ZING!?" Flip-flop anyone? Kerry refuses to let the facts get in the way of his campaign.

Thanks to one of the fine folks at Entercom, I received a copy of the Happenings Magazine issue that featured some of our local babes. I didn't know the focus of the whole deal was keeping oneself heart healthy but, it was cool nontheless to see some of my faves in print.

First up: Patty Leighton. I don't know her that well but, it's obvious when you spend any time at all in close proximity to her that's she's just a helluva nice lady. Being smart and pretty is a bonus.

Okay. Let's get the thoughts of the world-renowned heart specialist, Dr. Ugak Cour. Patty. Your husband is the Mayor of Wilkes-Barre. Try to avoid reading the newspapers, especially the pages devoted to SAYSO calls. Stay away from Walter Griffith. And ride a bike as often as possible.

Next up: Sue Henry of WILK fame. She had the unenviable task of replacing the legend, and now we're trying to remember just what the heck his name was anyway.

Sue! Sue! It's obvious whenever you take a call from The Hemp Party's very own "Kurt from Scranton," that your heart skips quite a few beats. Kurt is bad for your health, but he sure generates lots of calls from folks seeking to rebutt his insane rantings. Take a deep breath and think mostly happy, cogent thoughts before pushing his button from here on out. And ride a bike as often as possible.

Dr. Cour has spoken. Free of charge, no less.

I hope Little Marky's nose ends up pointing in the right direction.

Did we all spot the ad in the Voice for the "New & Improved," City of Wilkes-Barre's St. Patrick's Day Parade? I hope that was a freebie. A couple of Sundays ago, the Voice published a calendar of upcoming local events. Saturday, March 13th: The Scranton Parade. Sunday, March 14th: Aging rockers at The Kirby. As soon as a city fire fighter made me aware of it, I was talking to our mayor's answering machine right quick.

This was to be the first installment of Wilkes-Barre's soon to be gigantic St. Patty's Day celebration, and our own home town newspaper goes and drops the ball on us. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Turning this city around is going to be tougher than we thought.

Whatever. The parade is a go and Keenan's ought to make a killing on Sunday. The Grand Marshal and the Honorary Grand Marshals have been selected, and the street sweepers are assaulting the long neglected parade route as we fritter away the hours in cyberspace. Gage Andrew and I will make an appearance. And If Kevin Lynn fires up his magic microphone of destiny on Monday morning and starts hacking our balls again as he usually does the day after any parade, he and I are going to fight. It's going to be tough enough trying to change our city's tattered image without our local talk jock telling his listeners why Wilkes-Barre should be avoided at all costs.

Enjoy the parade. Go over to Keenan's afterwards and enjoy way too much of some trendy agricultural amusement aids. I'll be stirring very early on Monday morning laying in wait for Wilkes-Barre's biggest basher. The folks at Entercom may want to review their security protocol, or lack thereof.

Someone else had some thoughts about the future of our downtown canopies. From the e-mail inbox:

*******I'm sure everyone will have an opinion on the canopy. Myself, I think the canopy works very well from Boscov's wrapping around the corner until it reaches the end of the Bicentennial building. There I would cut it off and allow the beauty of the old, but new, Pomeroy's building to shine through. It really doesn't fit in against that bldg. As for the other side of South Main Street....not sure. Maybe...since the buildings and store fronts are more modern going down to the high rise and parking garage. Perhaps taking the cut off section that extends over the section of Market Street and in front of the Pomeroy's building could be retrofitted back to the South Main St. intersection with Public Square and attached to the canopy on the other side of the street to make it a uniform complete structure with really the first block of South Main and one block of Public Square incorporated. Then under the canopy could be lighted for pedestrians, and new street lights in the block of South Main could then be selected based on the canopy aesthetics the rest of the street lights could once again go back to something more suited for the overall look of the current architecture in the city. Just a thought.********

I follow ya. As per usual, your positions are always well thought-out. I do get tired of hearing about the historic quality of this, that, or the other building though. The buildings on the Square, with a scant few exceptions, are very modern in appearance. The canopy fits right in on the Square. Not to bicker with you but, as far as the dumps at the end of the first block of S. Main are concerned, how is their historic value diminished if pedestrians are provided with some cover from the elements? If those eyesores become bustling retail shops with the century old facades restored, will the canopy really totally obscure them from our view? I don't think so.

And whatever happened to the canopy being a selling point for the realtors that own most of our downtown properties? Where once it was hailed as an amenity that could almost provide a bit of a mall experience to downtown shoppers, now we have folks saying it needs to go before a single empty store front has been filled.

I'm thinking that we leave it just as it stands today and give Mayor Tom II and his coalition of eager professionals a shot at filling our empty downtown. If and when that comes about, then we reassess the pros and cons of the canopy. Wouldn't that be something? To have store after store to visit in downtown Wilkes-Barre, to have a theater cranking away, and to have all of the successful retailers complaining about our dirty canopy.

Go easy, girls. Let's not make yet another mistake while we search for the allusive answers.

Another tidbit from the e-mail inbox:

*******CALLING IN SICK

Employee....."I'm sorry but I can't come in today. My doctor says I suffer from Anal Glaucoma."

Boss........"Anal Glaucoma? What's that?"

Employee...."I just can't see my ass coming to work!"*******

I'll tell ya' what! I've been back to work for only two days and my freakin' hamstrings are tighter than John Kerry's forehead. Can legs tighter than a severely twisted rubber band cause Anal Glaucoma?

Hoo! Hoo! Midis up the whazoo! The Patsy Cline songs always rule.

Political incorrectness. How shocking? Didn't they pass a law against this sort of insensitive bullspit? From that e-mail inbox:

*******Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?

Because It Scares The Dog.*******

OHHHHHHHHH!!!! Jack and Jill went up the hill, each with a buck and a quarter. Jill came down with $2.50. OH! That f...

I had better split while I'm ahead. I'm ahead? That in itself is debatable.

Nite