7-28-2004

Norvegians

And my only hope is that one day soon, My only hope is that, one day soon, women, who have all earned their right to their opinions, instead of being labeled opinionated will be called smart and well informed, just like men.--Teresa Heinz Kerry at last nights DemFest

Is alcohol consumption allowed at these conventions?

Apparently the life-long protests and good causes will never, ever cease until the Hippie generation finally heads off to that big Woodstock drug-enduced orgy in the sky. For them, life is a continual struggle against injustices, perceived or otherwise. Mostly perceived. That opininated bitch!

Is it just silly ole me, or does being both smart and well-informed usually tend to make one opinionated anyway? It sounds to me as if this chickie has some sort of deep-seated problem, a chip that cannot as of yet be surgically removed. Vote for my effete snob of a hubby and maybe one day smart women will garner the repect they deserve? Even if need be, it's not bloody likely, being that his usual introduction to us little people is purported by the press to be "Do you know who I am?"

Sure I know who you are. You're that patrician bore that married that whacked-out catsup chick. You're that guy who demonstrated his affection for gun ownership by stating that you hunt for deer flat on your belly with a shotgun. Way to nuance for votes, non-dude.

And Dubya is the liar?

Ted Kennedy was his usual flatulent self. The mean-spirited rhetorican-in-chief of the Kerry wing of the Democratic party. Despite what Bill and Hil had to say the other night, there's some bad blood between the Clinton camp and the Kerry/Kennedy camp and the Clintons still have those FBI files and whatnot. Don't be shocked when Kerry receives his October surprise courtesy of the very same folks sho were so busy singing his praises the other night.

Kennedy may not be Aquaman or anything, but he knows how to play political hardball when he's sober. But the Clinton's play harder and they play extremely dirty. Hillary in '08.

And newcomer Barack Obama (?) was on hand to reassure us that Democrats are in fact very godly people. Well, at least during the election years they are. In God we trust? For the time being anyway. We received a directive from the DNC to replace that with "In communal property we trust," if and when Kerry assumes the comfy chair in the oval office.

Whatever. If smoke & mirrors is what you'd prefer, this is the party for you. They're godly. Yeah. Thou shalt not sperm thy intern.

Those no good...

...loafer wearing, limp-wristed commie bastards again.

I usually get a kick out of the chuckled-headed anonymous folks on the forum page who seem to think that most of their Dem heroes are not actually frustrated commies. They try to be soooooooo f**king cute and clever while hackin' on 'Sector Dude and myself on occasion. Try this on for size, comrades.

John Kerry has received the official endorsements from both the Communist Party USA and the Democratic Socialists of America.

Why do you suppose that is? I can't figure it out all by my lonesome, kiddies. After all, as we all know, it now takes a village to accomplish anything of note in Amerika.

Heyna? Or nyet?

On an unrelated note, when I was a senior at Coughlin, some long-haired doper fiend tried to hand my buddies and I some Zeroxed leaflets from the U.S. Communist Party right after school let out. I won't pass along exactly what happened in response to his anti-American offerings, but let's just say the cops got there way too late to suit his immediate needs.

Jesus H. Clinton! I just had to go and activate the PIP window, didn't I? Guess who? Al Sharpton is screaming like a raving lunatic again. He's a minister. That's what he says. Did he attend the Technical Career Institute of Grenada to become a holy man? Or was it Race-Baiter College at Los Cracker? He's an extremely clever public speaker, but the fact that he's a phoney asshole negates any of his positive attributes. That's assuming he actually has any. Whatever. F**k him.

Some guy, one Rep. Gregory Meeks earlier ended a sentence from his "uplifting" speech with "...let's provide the American dream."

Ah, no. No. That's not socialism, right? The American dream should be provided to us now. Long gone is the rugged individualism. Long gone is the hard work and the personal committment. Long gone are the heady days of being held responsible for one's own poor decisions. The Dems are coming! The Dems are coming!

Got too many kids and no husband? No problem. The American dream shall be yours right after we raise everyone else's taxes. No health care? Not to worry. Mark Doe will pay for yours in addition to that of his own family's. The Dems are coming! The Dems are coming!

Roossians? Dear, sweet leettle boy. Ve ah not Roossians. Ve ah Norvegians.

Oh, jeez. Ed Rendell just took control of the podium. I hope our Slotshot doesn't embarrass us anymore than we already are in the state where Act 47 seems to be the freakin' rage these days.

Wait! Wait! His entire spiel is about achieving "energy independence." Whew! Thank goodness. Although, that's kinda curious coming from the official party of the anti-capitalist tree-huggers though. I can live with that. (?) We can't drill some dried out tundra in the middle of nowhere in Alaska, but we have to work to reduce our dependence on foreign oil imports. These Norvegians are strange pricks for sure.

Oh, no! I do have limits, you know. John Cougar? NOT! Or is it John Cougar Mellancamp? Or Liberalcamp? He looks pretty good now that he's clean. Another coke fiend telling us how we should vote.

I can't take anymore of this bilge. And I certainly don't want to hear anymore of John Edwards' "Two Americas" class warfare claptrap.

Two Americas. One for the rich, the other for everyone else.

You mean, like the personal injury ambulance chasers that drive up the cost of literally everything and get rich quick during the less than honorable process? The guys who represent people that go to McDonalds and then burn their neather regions with a dangerous coffee? The guys that make it fiscally impossible for a smallish municipality to erect a skateboard facility due to the bloated cost of liability insurance? The cutthroats? The scumbags? Two Americas? One for the people that pervert the system, and the other for those who abide by it?

The time has definately arrived to watch the delivery of the latest nail for Larry Bowa's coffin.

I can only take so much of these Norvegians.

Is there a single..

...Major League Baseball player that bitches about balls and strikes more than Pat Burrell? I don't see how that could be even remotely possible. Maybe Larry Blowa should tell him to get the bat off of his freaking shoulder when he already has two strikes riding. Heyna? Or no?

What team do you think Burrell will play for next year?

What does the job description...

...of a minority county commissioner entail? Voting f**king NO! 100% of the time?

Now we're whining about Skrep and Todd's decision to pump $2.5 million into the downtown theater project? I really hate to take a righteous page from Kevin Lynn's thoroughly frayed book, but some folks see only debt, while others see investments in our future.

We..."created a sense of resentment by failing to give all communities and entrepreneurs a shot at the $2.5 million?"

As Margaret Thatcher once said, "Consensus is the negation of leadership."

My question to Commissioner No would be, "Should we boldly act to revitalize a financially traumatized Third Class City that could easily end up in the Citizen's Voice's series about Act 47 cities, or should we build a new dam in Hooper Township?" What's the more pressing issue? The county seat going belly up, or installing new guardrails along Blow or Walk road?

And did it happen to occur to anyone that maybe Skrep and Todd knew that if they didn't act and act fast, a theater would be built in Edwardsville, which would have all but doomed Wilkes-Barre's chances of ever building one?

Could that be why they chipped in $2.5 million while they were already facing rather severe budget shortfalls of their own?

Could it be that they provided us with a bit of adept leadership with one eye on this year's budget, and one eye on the future of this struggling city? I think so. And if I'm even close to being correct, that's what we'd have to call leadership.

Block party update

Listen here, smart Dudes and opinionated chickies. We're three weeks away from the best party Wilkes-Barre can muster. The 15th annual no less. I really need to know who is coming. If you have not confirmed, please do it real soon. Plus, we're going to need some cashola pretty soon. We've got lots of stuff to buy and such.

Remember...it's $10 bucks for everyone 16 years-old and beyond. Those under 16 are admitted free of charge, but we need to know the ages of the kiddies so as to better coordinate the long list of games and the prizes involved.

If you purposely miss this long-running event, you are making a serious mistake and you may be permanently branded as being one of those Norvegians waging an incremental war on our way of life.

Besides, I'll be there. What more could you want?

Lemme know.

Later