9-1-2004

Shea Jones

In essence, war has been declared on us, where the enemy is unseen and there is no front.-- Russian Defense Minister Sergei Ivanov

The Russians get it. They understand.

Yet in this country, the guy that hopes to replace our current commander-in-chief recently told reporters that said commander-in-chief was exaggerating the terror threat for political gain. Have him talk to the Russians. Better yet, have him move to Russia.

There is another way you can tell you're a Republican. You have faith in free enterprise, faith in the resourcefulness of the American people ... and faith in the U.S. economy. To those critics who are so pessimistic about our economy, I say: Don't be economic girlie men!--Arnold Schwarzenegger

Girlie men? That was about the last phrase I thought I'd hear uttered at the convention last night. He caught me completely off-guard and I can't remember laughing that hard.

Hmmm. Democrats? Girlie men? Democrats? Girlie men. Democrats...Girlie men. Works for me. They favor bending over and grabbing their ankles for the Commie-run United Nations. They seek to reduce our military more often than they try to appease our enemies, which is way too often to ever be considered as the actual owners of gonads. They are American apologists. They wish to bring oft-tried-and-failed socialism to this country. They are more than willing to surrender our sovereignty every chance they get. And they can't stand thinking that some of our allies might be mad as us. Right, Arnold. They're f**king Girlie men.

Radio talk jock...

...Neal Boortz managed to infiltrate a group of those "patriotic" protestors currently polluting New York City. Check out his account of the operation:

INFILTRATOR!

As Donna got into the cab there was an anti-war demonstration brewing at Ground Zero.  As I was dressed in running shorts, a t-shirt and sneakers I thought it would be a good chance to wade into the middle of the mob to listen and observe. 

Bottom line ... my earlier perception about these demonstrators turned out to be pretty much correct.  They were overwhelmingly young, cocky and grungy.  I would stand next to some of them until they tried to engage me in conversation.  "Hey, dude.  Is this a great way to meet girls, or what?"  One unkempt and slightly smelly demonstrator told me that he was thinking about getting arrested, but was having second thoughts because he had to move tomorrow.  I walked off to stifle the urge to ask him if he had new wheels for his shopping cart. 

Another was holding a sign saying that General Electric was going to make $600,000,000 in Iraq.  I asked him if he knew the way to the Stock Exchange.  I told him that if GE was doing that well we ought to rush over there and buy some stock.  I swear I thought he actually spent about ten seconds thinking it over. 

And ohhhhhh .. the conspiracies!  You just wouldn't believe the wild conspiracies these people were spouting.  I listened to one character pontificate to the crowd at length about the attack on the World Trade Towers. I really didn't understand all that he was saying .... but I think it had something to do with asbestos.  Somehow I thought this character was telling the crowd that George Bush had the World Trade Towers attacked because they contained asbestos and it was easier to just bring them down like that then it would have been to actually clean up the asbestos and it was all some sort of a favor to the people who owned the buildings and all that.  The people who owned the buildings?  The people of New York owned the buildings!  A Republican president is doing favors for the people of New York?  Well ... as Mr. Asbestos was speaking he turned and looked at me.  "It's Neal Boortz!" he said.  Then he gathered his crowd of sycophants around me and tried to draw me into the conversation.  I told him to call the show ..... my listeners would love to hear his theories.  We'll see.  My cover was blown, though ... so it was time to move on.

I'll just leave it at this.  If the government of this country, let alone the management of any convenience store in this nation, were turned over to this crowd for thirty days we would face a catastrophe of immeasurable proportions.  I wouldn't hire this crowd to pull weeds.

Hell ... they are weeds.

Penn State versus...

...freaking Akron???

Who do you folks think the odds-on favorite might be? Where is Akron, anyway? Is that in the continental United States? And here, I thought they did away with those hideous pigeon shoots. Who's up next? Lower Askam State?

GO! Knitting Lions!

WILK was giving tickets away for this 'David's lil' brother vs. Goliath's red-headed step-sister' match-up and get this...some people called in. They actually wanted those tickets. I'd rather take in a Star Trek convention dressed as a pansexual Tribble. Bonk! Bonk! James Kirk.

Speaking of WILK...

...some total cretin, "Ed from Hanover," called The Sue Henry Show today and had some very useful (?) information to share with all of us that listen to Sue faithfully. Get this:

Arnold Schwarzenegger was the very first son of a nazi to speak at a Republican convention.

And Laura Bush was the very first First Lady that had ever killed anyone to speak at a Republican convention.

Up until now, I have been dead-set against legalized abortions. For me, it's not a religion thing or a party platform, or anything. In my mind, it just seems wrong, dead wrong, to kill a baby. Any baby. But thanks to "Ed from Hanover," I am beginning to see the light. If only his mom had had an abortion. If only.

Thanks for pulling the plug on that jerk, Suzie Q. He makes even Kurt somewhat tolerable. Somewhat.

Oh, and tell Kevin to admit he's a communist already. The registered republican himself said that "Ron Silver is a weaselly turncoat," this morning.

And then there was this timeless gem: "You can't be pro-life if you support the death penalty." Really? Says who? Kevin? The guy that splits pubic hairs every morning and then passes it off as super enlightened logic?

If we're against the killing of unborn children...we can't be for the killing of useless assholes who grab, rape and kill the children lucky enough to have been born? Wrong, Kev. At least you're consistent, though. Consistently wrong.

This is hard to...

...funkin' believe. Now you're accusing the Prez of having no actual plan against terrorism? From the forum:

War on Terror -- BN, 10:40:07 09/01/04 Wed [1]

If I read the transcript correctly, we have no real plan to defeat terror. We'll take them as they come along.

Here's another possibility that needs to be considered. When it comes to a free Iraq and Afghanistan, I don't give their governments 6 weeks each before civil unrest topples both governments.

I'm back. I just dented the front of the 'fridge with my fist again. "No real plan to defeat terror?" You're a another friggin' illogical Democrat, right? You gotta be.

What happened to the cries of protest against Dubya's "pre-emptive" approach to the terrorists and their rogue state sponsors??? What happened to the "unilateral action" hysteria currently sweeping the oceans?

We sent 20,000-plus troops to Afghanistan. 264 M1/A1s rolled into Iraq. Predators over Iran. Israel seeking permission to waste Iran's fledgling nuclear facility. Troops in Pakistan. Troops in Kurdestan. Troops in Yemen. Troops in the Phillipines. Operatives on the ground in Syria. Operatives scouring much of Africa. Patriot batteries in Israel.

Nope. No plan there. We're just waiting for them to come along. First he does too much. And in the next breath, he's not doing enough. Make up your f**king minds!

Those governments will be toppled within 6 weeks? Wrong!!! Try 6 months. That's John Kerry's stated timetable for pulling our troops out of there. 6 months. Vote for Kerry. He's got a supposed plan. He also has a proven track record of getting out of wars early.

And yet...the Dems rip Bush a new one sans the vaseline because he's prepared to stay the course and see this thing through to an acceptable conclusion for all involved.

It doesn't matter why we're there at this point. All that matters is seeing it through and not creating a disasterous power vacuum with a hasty retreat. Bush knows that. He's said as much. And all that Kerry talks about is exit strategies.

Whatever. Anybody but Bush.

Chipper Jones...

...went and had himself a baby girl. Okay, his wife did most of the work. I only mention this because I know that the Mets fans hate him with every fiber of their being. And since he's homered so many times at Shea Stadium, he named his baby girl Shea. How cute?

Shea Jones.

Later