Politically Correct--adj.-- A style of speech devised solely to be continually one step ahead of Republicans and evolving to be continually one step ahead of any form of common sense whatsoever.

Surprise! Surprise! Kevin Blaum has decided that three decades worth of slogging it out in the political arena is enough. And according to him, he simply wants to spend more time with his family. Upon hearing that, my very first thought concerned who would eventually succeed him. The newspapers listed a few possible hopefuls, but the only sure-fire bet is that Christine Katsock will once again throw her thoroughly frayed political hat into the ring. Kathy Kane is usually the top vote getter during her council runs, so she's certainly no dark horse. And Vinsko? Who knows? He's got the smarts. And he's got a WNEP face.

So Kevin Blaum wants to kick back a tad and enjoy life while he's still young. Sounds kinda simple to follow to this muckity mucker. And I like simplicity. But wait! Some don't see it that way.

I snagged part of the Voice story Anti-incumbent activist welcomes Blaum's announcement

HARRISBURG - Rep. Kevin Blaum's retirement announcement comes as welcome news to anti-incumbent activist Russ Diamond, though it's not as savory to him as the prospect of the 13-term lawmaker losing at the polls. "I consider it a forfeit," said Diamond, who founded a grassroots group called PA Clean Sweep in response to last summer's legislative pay raise. His goal is to oust every incumbent in the state House and Senate, regardless of whether they supported the short-lived salary boost, which was repealed last month in the wake of sustained public anger.

A forfeit? In Hockey County? A forfeit? Um, that's almost as hilarious as Queen Hillary's claim that she was named after Sir Edmund Hillary four years before he climbed Mount Who-gives-a-funk and became a household name. Kevin Blaum ran away? I seriously doubt it. Call him what you will, but he was not going to be the next Russ Nigro, or anything even close. Although, it's interesting that he decided to retire from politics after someone suggested that I should run against him. You don't think the mere mention of my name scared him off, do you? If you do, have another frosted mug and chase it down with some lemon scented ammonia.

A forfeit? Yeaaaaaaah! And Dennis Bonvie wears Barbie underwear!

More from that same Voice story:

Tim Potts, founder of a reform group called Democracy Rising PA, said he expects next year's elections to have a newfound focus on accountability and responsiveness to the public. "The political climate in Pennsylvania next year is going to be much different than anything we've seen in a long time," said Potts, who once worked for the House of Representatives. "Some (incumbents) would rather cut their losses and go out on a high, rather than face a grueling re-election fight they might not win." Chris Lilik, founder of Young Conservatives of Pennsylvania, believes this year's early rash of retirement announcements is "definitely pay raise-related. For some, this is the time to move on - the public's angry," Lilik said. "I think we're going to see even more people stepping down." A recent poll by Connecticut-based Quinnipiac University found voter attitudes toward the Legislature are sour, with 57 percent of respondents saying they disapprove of the way the Legislature is handling its job, compared to 30 percent who approve. Poll results for Northeastern Pennsylvania showed 48 percent disapproval, compared to 38 percent approval.

That's all well and good. And I'm sure there are some vulnerable incumbents scattered across this state right about now. But I highly doubt that any bloggers should be slapping themselves on the back for Kevin Blaum's unexpected retirement from politics. They can sweep clean whatever the funk they want. But when these guys spearheaded the statewide effort to unseat every incumbent in this state, we here in Hockey County already knew that nobody...nobody would have dared to run against Kevin Blaum other than Christine Katsock. If nothing else, she is consistent. She's consistently on the losing end of things, but such is life in a one-party county.

Folks can spin this latest news whichever way it is that fits their political agenda. But the way I see things, the one man who did more than practically every other local person to push this county forward to progress decided to walk away on his own terms, and he deserves nothing but respect for his tireless efforts in those respects. Yeah, he voted for the illegal pay raise. But I've got this weird feeling that most of his constituents feel that he earned it.

From today forward, no matter which corporation happens to pay the most to plaster their logo all over that arena...the Wachovia Arena will always be known as the house that Blaum built.

I'll never type a bad word about him.

Two tickets to the big rock 'n' roll show: $104

Two beers and a tour T-shirt: $45

Traveling one mile to see Def Leppard: Priceless.

I went and bought myself a couple of DVDs, which is an extremely rare event. In actuality, if you come to learn that I spent money on anything other than musical CDs, you should be worried about world's colliding, or some such sh*t.

Anyways, I bought the remake of War of the Worlds, which was not all it was cracked up to be. It was pretty cool. Gage will love it. And I got The Day After. The latter is the flick where the Russians and us Americans finally get around to launching thousands of MIRVs at each other and cities go Poof! in the blink of a burned retina.

Being born at the tail end of the Duck 'n' Cover generation, I spent the 60s, 70s and half of the 80s firmly convinced that the lids on those missile silos would not remain in place forever. During the elementary school days they taught us all about civil defense, and how to survive nuclear fallout if caught at home when the big show finally arrived. To this very day, I still have the nuclear war handbooks both my school at one time and the Boy Scouts provided me with. And trust me, I read them both. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I knew what to expect when, not if, we ever got around to gettin' it on.

When I first spied The Day After in 1983, I got chills up my spine when the Electro-Magnetic Pulse shutdown the automobile batteries just outside Kansas City right before the mushroom cloud exploded on the small screen. And despite not having seen it since, when Jason Robard's car went dead on him last night, those chills returned. I always knew that day would come, yet, it's 2005 and not a single nuclear device has been exploded on our soil, or on that of the oft-dreaded Russians. And despite having spent most the past twenty years totally unconcerned about a nuclear device coming to a town near us, I'm getting that feeling again that maybe we ought to be thinking about civil defense, and how to construct a home bomb shelter down the basement.

I was listening to Kevin Lynn flying solo without Nancy Kman this morning when a caller supporting Dubya called and got Kev to laughing at his obvious (?) lack of mental clarity. He does that a lot. I forget the callers exact words, but he said that The War on Terror, the Iraqi invasion, and the Afghan invasion were all going well, and that we'd be invading Iran soon enough. Kev was laughing so hard, I thought he was going to choke to death on his love beads.

Will the U.S. be invading Iran anytime soon? Certainly not. But with the new president of Iran calling for Israel to be wiped off the map, Israel to be deported to Europe, his claim that the Holocaust never happened, and that the Infidels are all pigs worthy only of being prematurely sent to Hell, you really have to wonder just what the heck Kevin thought was so funny.

The Iranian ties to terror groups are many and well-documented. Plus, everyone worth an invite to the latest geopolitical think tank knows that what the Iranians seek is not nuclear power plants, but nuclear weapons. And they have recently taken delivery of Chinese and North Korean-built ICBMs capable of delivering payloads anywhere between 2,000 and 3,000 miles away from their launch points. With that said, a reasonable person should be wondering just what it is the Iranians hope to deliver with those ICBMs, and where they hope to deliver them to. If you need a hint on this one, you might want to stick to watching the NBA.

Where once they had none, I have recently come to learn that the Israeli's have in fact acquired the capability to refuel their advancing fighter/attack aircraft in the air. Even a hopeless fool can easily predict what is likely to happen next if the newly-elected Saddam of Iran keeps his over-the-top rhetoric just a notch below a war footing. Washington D.C. has made it a habit of keeping the Israeli's from lashing out militarily on many, many occasions. But, if and when the day finally arrives wherein the Israelis are all but convinced that their nuclear 'The Day After' is a likely possibility...military and nuclear facilities in Iran are going to come under attack.

Left-leaners like Kev and laugh and snort all they like, but the Israelis are not going to stand down while a nation that openly supports terrorism rushes towards fashioning nuclear weapons of their own. The United Nations couldn't stop two chicks from ripping at each other's blouses. The U.S. military has enough on it's hands right about now. But the Israelis are already working on how to defeat the newly-acquired and state-of-the-art Russian surface-to-air missile systems the Iranians have recently surrounded their hardened nuclear facilities with.

Whether bed-wetters like Kevin want to believe it or not, The Axis of Evil is a legitimate concern, and it will be dealt with one evil member at a time. Their own words and actions demand as much.

The War on Terror? It's far from over, kiddies. And I'm good with all of it. I'd rather see murderous tyrants put on trial before I'd want to see Lawrence, Kansas, or Tel Aviv treated to an Electro-Magnetic Pulse.

I just would.

Can anyone venture a guess as to who it was that sent this Christmas (Oops! Sorry.) card my way?

Dude! Thanks for the chuckle. That's a good one. Have yourself a very Merry (insert politically correct bullsh*t here).

Nah. F>ck that!

Merry Christmas, Duddddddddddde!

Ramming speed!

It's not the same without the flying monkeys, but I watched Greta Van Susteran's interview with Queen Hillary Clinton last night, and I didn't even puke despite being overcome with bouts of debilitating laughter.

This particular phoney ought to stick to writing books on communal living rather than sharing her made-up childhood with any of us. We previously covered the sad fact that she claims she was named after a guy who was an unknown scrub when she was born, but last night's flabbergaster had me rolling around on the parlor floor. Call her what you will, but she's f>ckin' funny.

Try this untruth, this bald-faced lie on for size:

I was raised by a father who didn't believe in credit cards.

Um...excuse me for asking, but isn't she, like, all of 58-years-old? Let's do the math, shall we? 40 years ago, she was 18-years-old and her father was "raising" her. Call me insane, but I'm thinking that credit cards were about as readily available in 1965 as DirecTV was? 1965? 13" black-and-white TV's with rabbit ears twisted every which way? Tin-friction cars and three packs of Lucky Strikes for 99 cents? A gallon of gasoline went for 39 cents while the attendant at the local Sunoco filled your tank, cleaned all of your car's windows, checked your fluids and provided you with a game token? Ten cans of creamed corn went for a buck at the local Stop 'n' Go, and a Mickey-Ds hamburger cost us a whole 19 cents? True West magazine had a hefty price tag of an entire quarter, and comics went for a dime?

We got ourselves three Matchboxes for a dollar at the Bradlees on the main drag in Derby, but we got four for a dollar at the Sayres on the Boston Post Road in Milford. Back in those days, a pound of hamburg at the corner market set us back less than a pack of Razzles at a strategically-placed Turkey Hill does today. My Mom always bought me four new pair of "slim" Wranglers when the new school year was about to get underway, and now, I couldn't but one pair for that amount unless I set sail for the Sprawl-Mart out there in the woods a ways.

At the store in the middle of nearly every half-block, we got five, maybe, seven gumballs out of the gumball machine for a single penny. And those addictive pretzel logs on the counter were priced at a penny a piece. Razzles were a nickel. Hershey bars were a nickel. And we quite often collected discarded, but redeemable soda bottles to pay for them. Erector sets were dirt-cheap. Girders 'n' Panels were cheap. And so were Keds.

Credit cards? In 1965? Or pre-1965?

You're not gonna vote for this lying asshole, are you?

I hear that. We'll see to it that he stays off of death row. Know what, give me a buzz on the cell phone and I'll fill you in as to why we were so scared as his entrance into this world rapidly approached. You gotta hear this absolute bilge to believe it.

Hint: The in-laws are seriously demented and then some.

I gotta tell ya, after reading my own words in a local newspaper, I have nary a regret. I'm good with it. But what do you make of the Citizens' Voice not deciding to publish it? They do have a posted notice to keep your comments under 150 words, but they do not adhere to that rule depending on one's point of view. Maybe I should have been more pro-Dem.

Editor:

I agree with Paul Kanjorski. Ever since I was a little boy, I've always enjoyed swimming in sh*t. And if it wasn't for that bastard Bush who ate my children, the dam holding back plenty of sh*t would have already been attracting sh*t-lovers from all over the map.

In conclusion, I like eating sh*t and I will do so in the name of some sh*tty progress. Did I mention that I hate that bastard Bush?

Chocolate water? It's a safety issue. When you're going down for the second time, it'd be a life saver to have something to be able to grab on to. Floaters are good.

Mark Cour

Chairman of the Citizens for Kanjorski's Sh*t

No NFL tonight. This sucks.

Whatever.

Buh-bye