BUTCH? OR FEMME?

Are you a butch or a femme? Or something in between?

Take our test and find out!

This is the full monty - the 100 question test! Have fun!

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Now, answer the following as honestly as you can.

We realize some questions have more than one answer you'd choose equally well, or no answer you would choose. This is a test of how you react in a forced answer situation to see how you think, so pick the best one you can and live with it!

You MUST select at least one choice for each question or your result WILL be inaccurate.

Ready? GO!

When making a grilled cheese sandwich with limited cooking materials, are you more likely to:
Iron it
Skip making it
Put it out on a hot sidewalk on a plate
Wrap in foil and cook on hot truck engine
Sear with butane torch
Do you carry a:
Fanny pack
Wallet
Money? What's that?
Bra or Belt (inside the lining) money bag
Purse
To crush ice, you would rather:
Slam bag on concrete
Smash bag with hammer
Run over it with truck
Use electric ice crusher
Chew it
To chop wood for a fireplace, you'd rather use:
Saw
Wedge wood splitter
Chainsaw
Your neighbor's help
Hand axe
If you rip your clothes, you repair them by:
Stapling
Scotch tape
Buy new clothes
Ignoring the rip
Sewing
(Ignoring any allergies) you prefer as a pet:
Dog
Cat
Pet other than Dog or Cat
No pet
Dog or Cat
Your idea of a good dinner entree is:
Pasta
Meat casserole
TV Dinner
Salad
Steak
In an empty apartment, the first furniture to buy is:
Couch
Bed
Computer Table/chair
TV/stand (if needed)/chair
Dining Table and Chairs
On a first date, you prefer to:
Each pay their own
Bring friends and let friends treat
Go free places
Pay for both
Be treated by date
Of these five colors you best like:
Red
Blue
Orange
Black
Green
When you write, you:
Write in longhand (script)
Print
Type
Dictate to someone else to type/write
Use a mix of longhand and printing
You prefer to (if you could only do ONE of these things):
Fix cars
Home decorate
Care for children
Work in an office
Go shopping
If you injure yourself, you:
Ignore and deal with it later
See a doctor
Rush to the ER (even if minor injury)
Run whimpering to partner to fix it
Wash and throw a bandaid on it
While having dinner, you just slopped spaghetti sauce on your shirt. Do you:
Run to the nearest sink to get the stain out immediately
Strip on the spot then stroll to the ladies room
Throw some on your date to make it even
Dab it with club soda at the table
Since your shirt is now dirty anyway, you forego your napkin in favor of your sleeve
You have been called on to babysit for friends at the last minute. Do you:
Plan an evening of quiet fun and adhere to the bedtime
Rent a video for the kids and talk on the phone to your pals
Strip the kids down to swim suits and attack the neighbors with water balloons
Go out to somewhere fun with them
Tell your friends "No way! Kids give me the heebie jeebies!"
You are having some friends over for dinner, no special reason, just for fun. Do you:
Show off by cooking a fabulous meal
Throw steaks on the grill
Order from a caterer
Have a pot-luck
Order take-out
You are given tickets to the ballet. Do you:
Trade the ballet tickets for choice seats at a football game
Gussy up and take along a friend who appreciates ballet
Attend even though it bores you
Give away tickets (nothing in exchange)
Attend but leave at intermission
You break a nail while doing some home repair. Do you:
File it down and put a bandaid on it
Nearly faint with the trauma and make an emergency appointment to have it repaired
Do nothing and suck on the sore finger all day pouting
Superglue it back together
Rip the rest of the nail off with your teeth and continue with your project
You have a sinkful of dirty dishes. You have a good dishwasher. Do you:
Soak them in hot soapy water then load the dishwasher
Hand wash them without gloves
Load the dishwasher without rinsing them
Leave them for somebody else; you don't do dishes
Ignore them and go out and buy paper plates
Your car breaks down on the road. Do you:
Call AAA
Call a friend who's good with cars
Stand by roadside looking helpless and wave down help
Push car (however far) to nearest mechanic
Drag your toolbox out of the trunk and fix it yourself
Your house is on fire. Do you:
Call your friends for a BBQ
Drag out the garden hose and put it out yourself
Save the pets and your credit card wallet
Save your jewelry and antiques
Run screaming, saving nothing but yourself
You're sitting in your living room and are cold. Do you:
Put on more clothes
Light candles and warm your hands over them
Build a fire
Close the windows and turn on the heat
Sit and grit it out shivering
You are on foot, walking with a girlfriend. You are faced with crossing a lively, "bold" creek about 1-3 feet deep. Do you:
Walk along the bank until you find a bridge
Dive in and try to swim it
Try to rock hop across
Ask your friend to carry you
Chop down a nearby tree to land across the creek and walk across that
You prefer to travel by:
On foot
On bicycle
On motor bike
In hand powered boat (oars)
By car
In a truck
On a train
On a plane
On a powered ship (any size)
Hitchhike
If FORCED to wear eye shadow, what color would you wear:
blue
brown
You'd have to consult your colorist
a color that matches your skin tone exactly
purple
When going for a haircut, do you:
Cut it yourself
Ask a friend to cut it
Go to a barber
You don't cut your hair
Go to a hairdresser
You are attending a special holiday meal at your in-laws (assume you have some!). Do you:
Sit and wait to be called to dinner
Bring something you cooked then get out of the way
Dive into the kitchen to help
Wait til most work is done then volunteer to help
Skip helping cooking and help in cleanup instead
When choosing scents for your personal hygiene products (includes colognes, deoderants, shaving supplies, lotions and/or perfumes), you prefer:
Light, fresh scent, (i.e., rain, cucumber, baby powder)
Flowery scent (i.e., rose, jasmine)
Fruity scent (i.e., strawberry, peach)
Musky scent, (i.e., sandalwood)
Bold, spicy scent (i.e., patchouli)
Minty scent (i.e., peppermint)
No scent
A variety of scents all at once
Whatever's on sale
Herbal scent (i.e., sage, lavendar)
When dressing to go hang out with your friends, you prefer to wear:
Loose, baggy, comfortable clothing
Sharp, crisply starched, tailored clothing
The latest trend
Tight jeans and loose shirt/blouse
Something daring and revealing
The toilet is overflowing. Do you:
Scream for somebody else to fix it while you try not to panic
Get on your hands and knees and turn the water off
Grab the towels and plunger and go to work
Calmly go report the problem
Run screaming from the bathroom
Your ideal choice for a new vehicle is:
Sports car
Sensible sedan
Economy car
Light truck
Sports utility vehicle
Luxury car
BIG pick-up truck
Whatever's cheap
Station wagon
Motorcycle
You are out on a date and your friend's breath is less than fresh. Do you:
Offer gum or a breath mint
Subtly try to bring it to their attention by asking if they had onions for dinner
Tell them point blank their breath is foul
Say nothing and try to think of how to avoid a good night kiss
Say nothing and kiss goodnight anyway
When doing the laundry, do you:
Use spot removal, bleach and fabric softener
Wash lights and darks separately
Throw everything in the wash together
Hand wash everything
Send your laundry out to a laundry service
If there was a law passed, banning cars, trucks, motorcycles, etc., your preferred mode of travel would be:
On bicycle
On foot
Horseback
Carriage
Cable Car
Your quick snack of choice is:
Candy or sweets
Fruits and vegetables
Chips, nuts, crackers or popcorn
A sandwich or a hot dog
You don't eat snacks
Choose the career that interests you most:
Museum curator or antique dealer
Corporate CEO
Health Care Provider
Artist (all arts)
Working with animals
Inventor
Politician
Contractor
Police or Fire Rescue
Psychologist
Coach or teacher
In private spaces, you prefer which type of decor:
Spartan
Light, airy colors with delicate furniture
Dark, rich colors with oversized furniture
Antiques
Contemporary
When drinking soda, beer or water, you prefer to:
Drink from a glass
Drink from a plastic bottle
Drink from a can
Drink from a plastic cup
Drink from a glass bottle
On Valentine's Day (assuming you have a partner or steady), do you expect:
To be the coordinator of a special romantic date
To be wined and dined by your lover
To exchange simple tokens of affection
To spend the day... intimately
To attend a public event such as a dance, and share the evening with friends
Your ultimate choice of a gift to receive, if this was all there was to choose from, would be:
A gift certificate
Sports equipment/gear
Clothing
Books
Technological gadgets
When out on a date with your lover, do you most frequently:
You each pay your own expense
Quietly pay the tab before your lover can protest
Pick up the tab and ignore your lover's protests
Let your lover pick up the tab without making an attempt to pay it yourself
Protest your lover paying for it, then let your lover pick up the tab anyway
When choosing your "spot" in the den, you are most likely to:
Give up the recliner or comfy chair for your lover to have it
Choose the corner of the sofa with the best view of the television
Choose the recliner or comfy chair
Choose a rocker rather than a stuffed sofa or chair
Sit on the floor
Sit on the sofa table
Pile up pillows on the floor and flop on them
Sit in your lover's lap
Have your lover sit in your lap
Choose the part of the den with the best lighting
If you had or do have a garden, you tend to:
Grow more vegetables or fruit trees
Grow more flowers
Grow anything and everything in a random fashion
Grow a mixed, but planned garden
Plan a specialized garden (i.e., Japanese, English, cactus, rock, water lily)
In this garden (real or imaginary), do/would you:
Share the gardening chores and planning with your lover
Leave the garden work and plans to your lover to do
Plan it together but hire someone to do it for you
Do all the work and planning yourself
Hire someone to plan and work it for you
When perplexed or confused, do you:
Ask for help (from friends, lover, professionals, family)
Consult a book
Try to solve the problem yourself
Ignore the problem
Accept offered advice, but don't ask for it (from friends, lover, professionals, family)
Your idea of a spontaneous romantic event is:
A duet in the shower or tub
Skinny dipping
Dancing to your favorite song
A practical joke with a prize/reward
Suddenly appearing at your lover's door/office for an impromptu date
Choose the thing that MOST causes you to notice another person:
The sound of their voice
The way they smell
Body language, walk
Facial expression
Personality
Laugh
Who they are with
Their profession
A specific body part
What they are wearing
When your lover is ill, but not critically ill, do you tend to want to:
Force them up and around cause it's "good for them"
Call your mother to come help
Call every nurse you know to come help
Read all you can on their illness and become "doctor"
Nurse them back to health with special attention
Leave them to rest and recover in the body's own good time
Go stay at a friend's place to avoid getting sick (you do not HAVE to stay away)
Encourage them to "mind over matter" their illness and try to not notice their symptoms
Take them directly to a doctor
Think it is your fault (when in reality it isn't) and feel guilty
When your lover achieves something grand (i.e., win award, get promoted), do you tend to want to:
Tell them whatever prize/award/raise they got is not good enough for them
Throw a party to celebrate
Take them out for a night on the town to celebrate
Sit back and watch them receive honors from everyone
Fix a special dinner for them at home
Question the judges' sanity
Call everyone you know to tell them all about it
Steal some of the limelight for yourself
Compete with them and do something grander
Ignore their accomplishment
When embarassed in a crowd, you tend to:
Make a hasty retreat
Get angry
Laugh it off and quickly change the subject, never to mention it again
Make it a perpetual running joke, incorporating the experience as part of who you are
Blame your lover
When retelling a funny story or joke that you and your lover heard together, do you tend to:
Let your lover tell it because they tell it better
Tell the joke yourself because you tell it better
Ask if your lover would like to tell the story before beginning
Start telling it then strand your lover with having to tell the end
Split the story and the punchline between the two of you, speaking interactively
The age of person to which you are most attracted is:
at least 11 years younger than you
7-10 years younger than you
4-6 years younger than you
1-3 years younger than you
the same age as you
1-3 years older than you
4-6 years older than you
7-10 years older than you
at least 11 years older than you
Age does not matter
If there were no resorts, your choice for an ideal vacation would be spent at/on:
Dude Ranch
Sports Camp
Home - working on the house
Music Festival
Cruise
Home - doing nothing
Relative's house
Biking across country
Sightseeing Tour
Roughing it on a camping trip
You store your clothing most likely in which manner:
Separated by color
Separated by activities
On the floor/furniture
Mostly hanging all together
Mostly folded all together
Your shoe of choice is:
Depends on the occasion
Lightweight Sneakers
Loafers
Work/Camp Boots
Heels
Dress Boots
Thick sole atheletic shoes
Oxfords
Sandals
Barefoot
In swim wear your first choice is (assuming all are OK where you swim):
One-piece suit with a skirt
One-piece form-fitting speedo style suit
Bikini
Two-piece modestly cut suit
Cut offs and a tank top
Jeans and T-shirt
Swim trunks, no top
Zip/speedo suit (bottom only)
A wet suit (as in diving)
Your "birthday suit"
When out for a walk, you prefer to walk on:
A paved road
A dirt road
A clay track
A grassy field
A stone or brick path
A wooded path of pine straw
A path of wood chips
A path of pebbles
A concrete sidewalk
The beach
The kind of movie you enjoy most is most likely:
Comedy
Action/Adventure
Horror
Mystery
Crime Drama
Human Drama
Musical
Old Classics
Biographical
Science Fiction/Fantasy
If you were in King Arthur's court, you would be the:
King Arthur
Queen Gwenivere
Merlin the Wizard
Sir Kay, the King's foster brother
King Pellinore, the old king who was King Arthur's friend
Gawain, the King's Champion
Lancelot, the knight in love with the Queen
Morgan LeFay, the King's sister and mother of Mordred
Mordred, the King's ill-begotten son, and enemy
The Lady of the Lake, the Wizard's goddess/helper
When naming a pet, you tend to name it:
According to its personality/behavior
After a real person it reminds you of
After a favorite fictional character
A human name you just like the sound of
According to its physical markings or looks
Choose a food that best describes your personality (not necessarily a food you like to eat):
Ice cream (cool and creamy)
Salad (a lot of different ingredients)
A Jalopeno (hot, spicy)
Fresh Baked Bread (warm and tender)
Cake (soft and sweet)
I'm NOT a food!
Candy (hard and sweet)
Vegetables (nurturing)
Pie (crusty on the outside, sweet on the inside)
Meat and Potatoes (filling and satisfying)
You win a large hot tub in a contest. You are most likely to "christen" it by:
Inviting your lover to join you
Soaking alone
Asking a small number of friends to join you
Treating it like a shrine and not using it
Throwing a party inviting everyone you know
Of the magazines listed below, your first choice of a subscription would be:
TV Guide
People
Time or Newsweek
Life
Readers Digest
When bathing you prefer:
Long hot baths
Short hot showers
Short cool baths
Long cool showers
Short cool showers
I don't bathe
Bathing in a lake or river
Long hot showers
Long cool baths
Short hot baths
You would prefer to live:
In a moderate climate (little variation between seasons)
In a tropical (hot) climate
In a cold climate
In a climate of changing seasons (cold and hot)
In a rainy climate
When people are late for scheduled appointments or dates, do you:
Get upset at them
Get impatient but wait
Use the time waiting productively
Wait a reasonable time then leave
Wait patiently forever if need be
When bathing, what order are you most likely to follow:
Wash hair, then body head to toe
Wash hair, add conditioner, then body head to toe
Wash body head to toe then hair
Wash body head to toe, then hair and conditioner
Wash body toe to head, then hair
Wash body toe to head, then hair and conditioner
Wash nastier parts first, then rest of body then hair
Wash cleaner parts first, then hair, then rest of body
Wash from left to right across body (down or up, hair either end of wash)
Wash from right to left (down or up, hair either end)
You prefer which of the following in bed sheets:
Percale prints - floral
Percale solids
Whatever comes in the "bed in a bag"
Percale whites
All cotton prints - floral
All cotton solids
All cotton whites
You don't use sheets
Percale prints - geometric
All cotton prints - geometric
How important to you is "the place" where you have sex?
Very important
Not important
Not really important but helps if nice
Not critical, but important
Important only on rare occasions
When laughing, do you tend to:
Giggle
Belly laugh
Chuckle
Snicker
Smile more than laugh
The things that make you laugh more are:
Self embarassment
Cleverness and wit
Slapstick comedy
Mistakes you make
Other people's tribulations
Your favorite time of day to accomplish things is:
Morning
Afternoon
Evening
Night
It varies
The style of housing which suits you best is:
Apartment or condo
Farm house
"Suburban" traditional
Cabin
Victorian/old urban
The piece of technology by which you are most intimidated is:
Computer
Stereo system
VCR
Cellular phone
Video games
The objects most likely to be found under your sofa cushions are:
Loose change
Food crumbs
Pencils or pens
The TV remote
Stray facial tissues
Choosing from the following, the classic tale with which you most identify is:
Don Quixote
Huckleberry Finn
Lady Chatterly's Lover
Wuthering Heights
Red Badge of Courage
The character from the "Wizard of Oz" you most identify with is:
The scarecrow who needs a brain
The cowardly lion
The tin man who needs a heart
Dorothy who wants to go home
Glenda the good witch
The wicked witch of the west
Auntie Em, Dorothy's guardian
The Wizard of Oz
The munchkins who live in Oz
Toto, the dog
The skill that was the most difficult for you to master as a child was:
Tying your shoes
Whistling
Riding a bike
Blowing bubble gum
Dressing yourself
You are more easily awakened by:
Light
Noise
Touch
You can't be wakened
Habit (always same time)
When looking for a phone number you are more likely to:
Call and ask a friend who has it
Look it up in the phone book
Look it up in your address book/rolladex
Call information
Skip calling all together
When at a cookout you tend to:
Be the bartender
Be the one cooking on a gas grill
Be the one cooking over charcoal grill
Be the one cleaning up after it
Be the one entertaining everyone else
The household chore you are most likely to AVOID doing is:
The dishes
The laundry
The vacuuming
The dusting
The bathroom cleaning
When you kiss someone the first time (mutual kiss), you kiss her/his:
Cheek
Forehead or hand
Lips, mouth closed
Lips, mouth open
Neck
If a person you just met (you like them as a new friend but aren't sexually interested in them) tries to hug you on leaving, you:
Return the hug whole heartedly
Give a "kissin cousins" hug with space between your bodies
Dodge the hug and back off
Dodge the hug and offer a handshake instead
Hug them and kiss them (on cheek, lips, wherever)
Seated in a living room chair, you position your legs:
Crossed ankle over knee
Crossed at ankle with knees together
Crossed at knee
Not crossed
Propped up on furniture or tucked under bottom
You catch a thrown ball by:
"Trapping it" in your clothing or using a glove
Bare one-handed catch
Bare two-handed catch
Wait til it grounds then pick it up
Scrambling whatever way the ball hits you
Your long distance special friend, loved relative, or lover has a birthday. You:
Send a card
Send a card and a check
Send a card and a gift certificate
Send a card and a gift
Call them only
You've received a birthday gift of a check for $100 from a distant friend/relative/lover. You:
Call and thank them
Write a thank you beside your check endorsement
Write a formal thank you note on stationery
Call to thank and send a note
Do nothing.
You broke a treasured wine goblet while washing it. You:
Toss the pieces in the trash and proceed on
Crumple in a ball on the floor and cry
Curse loudly as to the value of the glass
Pick every sliver up and glue it back together
Kick the slivers under the stove and proceed on
You are eating cereal and milk at home, alone. The cereal has run out and milk remains in the bowl. Do you:
Use the spoon to finish the milk
Drink from the bowl where ever you are
Drink from the bowl over the sink
Give the milk to the cat
Throw the milk away
You have a broken leg and are lost in the woods alone. You hear distant voices, but feel very weak. Do you:
Scream for help
Bang a couple of rocks together
Try to drag yourself to the voices
Sit and prepare to die, figuring they won't find you
Cry and pray and assume they'll find you
You sleep with:
A small nightlight on
Absolutely no lights on
The bathroom light on
The kitchen stove light on
The bedroom light on
You sleep in:
Nothing, nude
Sweats or similar
Cotton pajamas or similar
Lacy pajamas or similar
Whatever is clean at the time
Meeting a celebrity you really admire/like makes you:
Speechless
Chatter endlessly about inane things
Able to talk but physically a klutz
Has no effect, normal
Want to run away
When your boss disciplines you, assume here this is a good boss, you:
Take your licking and return to sulk
Argue back
Hit or threaten him/her
Cry
Remain quiet but go out and trash him/her to co-workers
When you have to discipline a co-worker or child you:
Yell
Avoid doing it
Hit or threaten hitting
Reason with them
State the cold facts and deliver the punishment
You are promoted and suddenly are your pals' boss. You:
Try to remain socially friendly
Slowly divorce yourself socially
Finally have a chance to get back at them!
Let them tell you what to do
Try to avoid them
Your watch is broken. You:
Get along ok, finding clocks when you need the time
Are completely lost and late for everything
Don't look for clocks, prefering to ask others for the time
Call time/temperature every hour
Estimate time by the sun/moon
A parent you love is old and infirm, but needs no critical nursing. They can't live alone any more though. Do you:
Put them in a nursing home
Put them in an assisted living facility
Take them into your home
Talk your sibling into taking them
Let them remain where they are
In your view, the most important character trait your partner must have is:
Love
Honesty
Compassion
Patience
Obedience
Ability to provide
Be well educated
Sense of humor
Communication skills
Positive outlook on life

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