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BUTCH? OR FEMME?

Are you a butch or a femme? Or something in between?

Take our test and find out!

This is the full monty - the 100 question test! Have fun!

We'd like to thank, bless, bow to, express our kudos to and worship our net friend who offered free use of his server and wrote the perl script to enable automated scoring!!! PLEASE VISIT HIS SITE AT: FLUTTERBY!!


Now, answer the following as honestly as you can.

We realize some questions have more than one answer you'd choose equally well, or no answer you would choose. This is a test of how you react in a forced answer situation to see how you think, so pick the best one you can and live with it!

You MUST select at least one choice for each question or your result WILL be inaccurate.

Ready? GO!

  1. When making a grilled cheese sandwich with limited cooking materials, are you more likely to:
    Iron it
    Skip making it
    Put it out on a hot sidewalk on a plate
    Wrap in foil and cook on hot truck engine
    Sear with butane torch

  2. Do you carry a:
    Fanny pack
    Wallet
    Money? What's that?
    Bra or Belt (inside the lining) money bag
    Purse

  3. To crush ice, you would rather:
    Slam bag on concrete
    Smash bag with hammer
    Run over it with truck
    Use electric ice crusher
    Chew it

  4. To chop wood for a fireplace, you'd rather use:
    Saw
    Wedge wood splitter
    Chainsaw
    Your neighbor's help
    Hand axe

  5. If you rip your clothes, you repair them by:
    Stapling
    Scotch tape
    Buy new clothes
    Ignoring the rip
    Sewing

  6. (Ignoring any allergies) you prefer as a pet:
    Dog
    Cat
    Pet other than Dog or Cat
    No pet
    Dog or Cat

  7. Your idea of a good dinner entree is:
    Pasta
    Meat casserole
    TV Dinner
    Salad
    Steak

  8. In an empty apartment, the first furniture to buy is:
    Couch
    Bed
    Computer Table/chair
    TV/stand (if needed)/chair
    Dining Table and Chairs

  9. On a first date, you prefer to:
    Each pay their own
    Bring friends and let friends treat
    Go free places
    Pay for both
    Be treated by date

  10. Of these five colors you best like:
    Red
    Blue
    Orange
    Black
    Green

  11. When you write, you:
    Write in longhand (script)
    Print
    Type
    Dictate to someone else to type/write
    Use a mix of longhand and printing

  12. You prefer to (if you could only do ONE of these things):
    Fix cars
    Home decorate
    Care for children
    Work in an office
    Go shopping

  13. If you injure yourself, you:
    Ignore and deal with it later
    See a doctor
    Rush to the ER (even if minor injury)
    Run whimpering to partner to fix it
    Wash and throw a bandaid on it

  14. While having dinner, you just slopped spaghetti sauce on your shirt. Do you:
    Run to the nearest sink to get the stain out immediately
    Strip on the spot then stroll to the ladies room
    Throw some on your date to make it even
    Dab it with club soda at the table
    Since your shirt is now dirty anyway, you forego your napkin in favor of your sleeve

  15. You have been called on to babysit for friends at the last minute. Do you:
    Plan an evening of quiet fun and adhere to the bedtime
    Rent a video for the kids and talk on the phone to your pals
    Strip the kids down to swim suits and attack the neighbors with water balloons
    Go out to somewhere fun with them
    Tell your friends "No way! Kids give me the heebie jeebies!"

  16. You are having some friends over for dinner, no special reason, just for fun. Do you:
    Show off by cooking a fabulous meal
    Throw steaks on the grill
    Order from a caterer
    Have a pot-luck
    Order take-out

  17. You are given tickets to the ballet. Do you:
    Trade the ballet tickets for choice seats at a football game
    Gussy up and take along a friend who appreciates ballet
    Attend even though it bores you
    Give away tickets (nothing in exchange)
    Attend but leave at intermission

  18. You break a nail while doing some home repair. Do you:
    File it down and put a bandaid on it
    Nearly faint with the trauma and make an emergency appointment to have it repaired
    Do nothing and suck on the sore finger all day pouting
    Superglue it back together
    Rip the rest of the nail off with your teeth and continue with your project

  19. You have a sinkful of dirty dishes. You have a good dishwasher. Do you:
    Soak them in hot soapy water then load the dishwasher
    Hand wash them without gloves
    Load the dishwasher without rinsing them
    Leave them for somebody else; you don't do dishes
    Ignore them and go out and buy paper plates

  20. Your car breaks down on the road. Do you:
    Call AAA
    Call a friend who's good with cars
    Stand by roadside looking helpless and wave down help
    Push car (however far) to nearest mechanic
    Drag your toolbox out of the trunk and fix it yourself

  21. Your house is on fire. Do you:
    Call your friends for a BBQ
    Drag out the garden hose and put it out yourself
    Save the pets and your credit card wallet
    Save your jewelry and antiques
    Run screaming, saving nothing but yourself

  22. You're sitting in your living room and are cold. Do you:
    Put on more clothes
    Light candles and warm your hands over them
    Build a fire
    Close the windows and turn on the heat
    Sit and grit it out shivering

  23. You are on foot, walking with a girlfriend. You are faced with crossing a lively, "bold" creek about 1-3 feet deep. Do you:
    Walk along the bank until you find a bridge
    Dive in and try to swim it
    Try to rock hop across
    Ask your friend to carry you
    Chop down a nearby tree to land across the creek and walk across that

  24. You prefer to travel by:
    On foot
    On bicycle
    On motor bike
    In hand powered boat (oars)
    By car
    In a truck
    On a train
    On a plane
    On a powered ship (any size)
    Hitchhike

  25. If FORCED to wear eye shadow, what color would you wear:
    blue
    brown
    You'd have to consult your colorist
    a color that matches your skin tone exactly
    purple

  26. When going for a haircut, do you:
    Cut it yourself
    Ask a friend to cut it
    Go to a barber
    You don't cut your hair
    Go to a hairdresser

  27. You are attending a special holiday meal at your in-laws (assume you have some!). Do you:
    Sit and wait to be called to dinner
    Bring something you cooked then get out of the way
    Dive into the kitchen to help
    Wait til most work is done then volunteer to help
    Skip helping cooking and help in cleanup instead

  28. When choosing scents for your personal hygiene products (includes colognes, deoderants, shaving supplies, lotions and/or perfumes), you prefer:
    Light, fresh scent, (i.e., rain, cucumber, baby powder)
    Flowery scent (i.e., rose, jasmine)
    Fruity scent (i.e., strawberry, peach)
    Musky scent, (i.e., sandalwood)
    Bold, spicy scent (i.e., patchouli)
    Minty scent (i.e., peppermint)
    No scent
    A variety of scents all at once
    Whatever's on sale
    Herbal scent (i.e., sage, lavendar)

  29. When dressing to go hang out with your friends, you prefer to wear:
    Loose, baggy, comfortable clothing
    Sharp, crisply starched, tailored clothing
    The latest trend
    Tight jeans and loose shirt/blouse
    Something daring and revealing

  30. The toilet is overflowing. Do you:
    Scream for somebody else to fix it while you try not to panic
    Get on your hands and knees and turn the water off
    Grab the towels and plunger and go to work
    Calmly go report the problem
    Run screaming from the bathroom

  31. Your ideal choice for a new vehicle is:
    Sports car
    Sensible sedan
    Economy car
    Light truck
    Sports utility vehicle
    Luxury car
    BIG pick-up truck
    Whatever's cheap
    Station wagon
    Motorcycle

  32. You are out on a date and your friend's breath is less than fresh. Do you:
    Offer gum or a breath mint
    Subtly try to bring it to their attention by asking if they had onions for dinner
    Tell them point blank their breath is foul
    Say nothing and try to think of how to avoid a good night kiss
    Say nothing and kiss goodnight anyway

  33. When doing the laundry, do you:
    Use spot removal, bleach and fabric softener
    Wash lights and darks separately
    Throw everything in the wash together
    Hand wash everything
    Send your laundry out to a laundry service

  34. If there was a law passed, banning cars, trucks, motorcycles, etc., your preferred mode of travel would be:
    On bicycle
    On foot
    Horseback
    Carriage
    Cable Car

  35. Your quick snack of choice is:
    Candy or sweets
    Fruits and vegetables
    Chips, nuts, crackers or popcorn
    A sandwich or a hot dog
    You don't eat snacks

  36. Choose the career that interests you most:
    Museum curator or antique dealer
    Corporate CEO
    Health Care Provider
    Artist (all arts)
    Working with animals
    Inventor
    Politician
    Contractor
    Police or Fire Rescue
    Psychologist
    Coach or teacher

  37. In private spaces, you prefer which type of decor:
    Spartan
    Light, airy colors with delicate furniture
    Dark, rich colors with oversized furniture
    Antiques
    Contemporary

  38. When drinking soda, beer or water, you prefer to:
    Drink from a glass
    Drink from a plastic bottle
    Drink from a can
    Drink from a plastic cup
    Drink from a glass bottle

  39. On Valentine's Day (assuming you have a partner or steady), do you expect:
    To be the coordinator of a special romantic date
    To be wined and dined by your lover
    To exchange simple tokens of affection
    To spend the day... intimately
    To attend a public event such as a dance, and share the evening with friends

  40. Your ultimate choice of a gift to receive, if this was all there was to choose from, would be:
    A gift certificate
    Sports equipment/gear
    Clothing
    Books
    Technological gadgets

  41. When out on a date with your lover, do you most frequently:
    You each pay your own expense
    Quietly pay the tab before your lover can protest
    Pick up the tab and ignore your lover's protests
    Let your lover pick up the tab without making an attempt to pay it yourself
    Protest your lover paying for it, then let your lover pick up the tab anyway

  42. When choosing your "spot" in the den, you are most likely to:
    Give up the recliner or comfy chair for your lover to have it
    Choose the corner of the sofa with the best view of the television
    Choose the recliner or comfy chair
    Choose a rocker rather than a stuffed sofa or chair
    Sit on the floor
    Sit on the sofa table
    Pile up pillows on the floor and flop on them
    Sit in your lover's lap
    Have your lover sit in your lap
    Choose the part of the den with the best lighting

  43. If you had or do have a garden, you tend to:
    Grow more vegetables or fruit trees
    Grow more flowers
    Grow anything and everything in a random fashion
    Grow a mixed, but planned garden
    Plan a specialized garden (i.e., Japanese, English, cactus, rock, water lily)

  44. In this garden (real or imaginary), do/would you:
    Share the gardening chores and planning with your lover
    Leave the garden work and plans to your lover to do
    Plan it together but hire someone to do it for you
    Do all the work and planning yourself
    Hire someone to plan and work it for you

  45. When perplexed or confused, do you:
    Ask for help (from friends, lover, professionals, family)
    Consult a book
    Try to solve the problem yourself
    Ignore the problem
    Accept offered advice, but don't ask for it (from friends, lover, professionals, family)

  46. Your idea of a spontaneous romantic event is:
    A duet in the shower or tub
    Skinny dipping
    Dancing to your favorite song
    A practical joke with a prize/reward
    Suddenly appearing at your lover's door/office for an impromptu date

  47. Choose the thing that MOST causes you to notice another person:
    The sound of their voice
    The way they smell
    Body language, walk
    Facial expression
    Personality
    Laugh
    Who they are with
    Their profession
    A specific body part
    What they are wearing

  48. When your lover is ill, but not critically ill, do you tend to want to:
    Force them up and around cause it's "good for them"
    Call your mother to come help
    Call every nurse you know to come help
    Read all you can on their illness and become "doctor"
    Nurse them back to health with special attention
    Leave them to rest and recover in the body's own good time
    Go stay at a friend's place to avoid getting sick (you do not HAVE to stay away)
    Encourage them to "mind over matter" their illness and try to not notice their symptoms
    Take them directly to a doctor
    Think it is your fault (when in reality it isn't) and feel guilty

  49. When your lover achieves something grand (i.e., win award, get promoted), do you tend to want to:
    Tell them whatever prize/award/raise they got is not good enough for them
    Throw a party to celebrate
    Take them out for a night on the town to celebrate
    Sit back and watch them receive honors from everyone
    Fix a special dinner for them at home
    Question the judges' sanity
    Call everyone you know to tell them all about it
    Steal some of the limelight for yourself
    Compete with them and do something grander
    Ignore their accomplishment

  50. When embarassed in a crowd, you tend to:
    Make a hasty retreat
    Get angry
    Laugh it off and quickly change the subject, never to mention it again
    Make it a perpetual running joke, incorporating the experience as part of who you are
    Blame your lover

  51. When retelling a funny story or joke that you and your lover heard together, do you tend to:
    Let your lover tell it because they tell it better
    Tell the joke yourself because you tell it better
    Ask if your lover would like to tell the story before beginning
    Start telling it then strand your lover with having to tell the end
    Split the story and the punchline between the two of you, speaking interactively

  52. The age of person to which you are most attracted is:
    at least 11 years younger than you
    7-10 years younger than you
    4-6 years younger than you
    1-3 years younger than you
    the same age as you
    1-3 years older than you
    4-6 years older than you
    7-10 years older than you
    at least 11 years older than you
    Age does not matter

  53. If there were no resorts, your choice for an ideal vacation would be spent at/on:
    Dude Ranch
    Sports Camp
    Home - working on the house
    Music Festival
    Cruise
    Home - doing nothing
    Relative's house
    Biking across country
    Sightseeing Tour
    Roughing it on a camping trip

  54. You store your clothing most likely in which manner:
    Separated by color
    Separated by activities
    On the floor/furniture
    Mostly hanging all together
    Mostly folded all together

  55. Your shoe of choice is:
    Depends on the occasion
    Lightweight Sneakers
    Loafers
    Work/Camp Boots
    Heels
    Dress Boots
    Thick sole atheletic shoes
    Oxfords
    Sandals
    Barefoot

  56. In swim wear your first choice is (assuming all are OK where you swim):
    One-piece suit with a skirt
    One-piece form-fitting speedo style suit
    Bikini
    Two-piece modestly cut suit
    Cut offs and a tank top
    Jeans and T-shirt
    Swim trunks, no top
    Zip/speedo suit (bottom only)
    A wet suit (as in diving)
    Your "birthday suit"

  57. When out for a walk, you prefer to walk on:
    A paved road
    A dirt road
    A clay track
    A grassy field
    A stone or brick path
    A wooded path of pine straw
    A path of wood chips
    A path of pebbles
    A concrete sidewalk
    The beach

  58. The kind of movie you enjoy most is most likely:
    Comedy
    Action/Adventure
    Horror
    Mystery
    Crime Drama
    Human Drama
    Musical
    Old Classics
    Biographical
    Science Fiction/Fantasy

  59. If you were in King Arthur's court, you would be the:
    King Arthur
    Queen Gwenivere
    Merlin the Wizard
    Sir Kay, the King's foster brother
    King Pellinore, the old king who was King Arthur's friend
    Gawain, the King's Champion
    Lancelot, the knight in love with the Queen
    Morgan LeFay, the King's sister and mother of Mordred
    Mordred, the King's ill-begotten son, and enemy
    The Lady of the Lake, the Wizard's goddess/helper

  60. When naming a pet, you tend to name it:
    According to its personality/behavior
    After a real person it reminds you of
    After a favorite fictional character
    A human name you just like the sound of
    According to its physical markings or looks

  61. Choose a food that best describes your personality (not necessarily a food you like to eat):
    Ice cream (cool and creamy)
    Salad (a lot of different ingredients)
    A Jalopeno (hot, spicy)
    Fresh Baked Bread (warm and tender)
    Cake (soft and sweet)
    I'm NOT a food!
    Candy (hard and sweet)
    Vegetables (nurturing)
    Pie (crusty on the outside, sweet on the inside)
    Meat and Potatoes (filling and satisfying)

  62. You win a large hot tub in a contest. You are most likely to "christen" it by:
    Inviting your lover to join you
    Soaking alone
    Asking a small number of friends to join you
    Treating it like a shrine and not using it
    Throwing a party inviting everyone you know

  63. Of the magazines listed below, your first choice of a subscription would be:
    TV Guide
    People
    Time or Newsweek
    Life
    Readers Digest

  64. When bathing you prefer:
    Long hot baths
    Short hot showers
    Short cool baths
    Long cool showers
    Short cool showers
    I don't bathe
    Bathing in a lake or river
    Long hot showers
    Long cool baths
    Short hot baths

  65. You would prefer to live:
    In a moderate climate (little variation between seasons)
    In a tropical (hot) climate
    In a cold climate
    In a climate of changing seasons (cold and hot)
    In a rainy climate

  66. When people are late for scheduled appointments or dates, do you:
    Get upset at them
    Get impatient but wait
    Use the time waiting productively
    Wait a reasonable time then leave
    Wait patiently forever if need be

  67. When bathing, what order are you most likely to follow:
    Wash hair, then body head to toe
    Wash hair, add conditioner, then body head to toe
    Wash body head to toe then hair
    Wash body head to toe, then hair and conditioner
    Wash body toe to head, then hair
    Wash body toe to head, then hair and conditioner
    Wash nastier parts first, then rest of body then hair
    Wash cleaner parts first, then hair, then rest of body
    Wash from left to right across body (down or up, hair either end of wash)
    Wash from right to left (down or up, hair either end)

  68. You prefer which of the following in bed sheets:
    Percale prints - floral
    Percale solids
    Whatever comes in the "bed in a bag"
    Percale whites
    All cotton prints - floral
    All cotton solids
    All cotton whites
    You don't use sheets
    Percale prints - geometric
    All cotton prints - geometric

  69. How important to you is "the place" where you have sex?
    Very important
    Not important
    Not really important but helps if nice
    Not critical, but important
    Important only on rare occasions

  70. When laughing, do you tend to:
    Giggle
    Belly laugh
    Chuckle
    Snicker
    Smile more than laugh

  71. The things that make you laugh more are:
    Self embarassment
    Cleverness and wit
    Slapstick comedy
    Mistakes you make
    Other people's tribulations

  72. Your favorite time of day to accomplish things is:
    Morning
    Afternoon
    Evening
    Night
    It varies

  73. The style of housing which suits you best is:
    Apartment or condo
    Farm house
    "Suburban" traditional
    Cabin
    Victorian/old urban

  74. The piece of technology by which you are most intimidated is:
    Computer
    Stereo system
    VCR
    Cellular phone
    Video games

  75. The objects most likely to be found under your sofa cushions are:
    Loose change
    Food crumbs
    Pencils or pens
    The TV remote
    Stray facial tissues

  76. Choosing from the following, the classic tale with which you most identify is:
    Don Quixote
    Huckleberry Finn
    Lady Chatterly's Lover
    Wuthering Heights
    Red Badge of Courage

  77. The character from the "Wizard of Oz" you most identify with is:
    The scarecrow who needs a brain
    The cowardly lion
    The tin man who needs a heart
    Dorothy who wants to go home
    Glenda the good witch
    The wicked witch of the west
    Auntie Em, Dorothy's guardian
    The Wizard of Oz
    The munchkins who live in Oz
    Toto, the dog

  78. The skill that was the most difficult for you to master as a child was:
    Tying your shoes
    Whistling
    Riding a bike
    Blowing bubble gum
    Dressing yourself

  79. You are more easily awakened by:
    Light
    Noise
    Touch
    You can't be wakened
    Habit (always same time)

  80. When looking for a phone number you are more likely to:
    Call and ask a friend who has it
    Look it up in the phone book
    Look it up in your address book/rolladex
    Call information
    Skip calling all together

  81. When at a cookout you tend to:
    Be the bartender
    Be the one cooking on a gas grill
    Be the one cooking over charcoal grill
    Be the one cleaning up after it
    Be the one entertaining everyone else

  82. The household chore you are most likely to AVOID doing is:
    The dishes
    The laundry
    The vacuuming
    The dusting
    The bathroom cleaning

  83. When you kiss someone the first time (mutual kiss), you kiss her/his:
    Cheek
    Forehead or hand
    Lips, mouth closed
    Lips, mouth open
    Neck

  84. If a person you just met (you like them as a new friend but aren't sexually interested in them) tries to hug you on leaving, you:
    Return the hug whole heartedly
    Give a "kissin cousins" hug with space between your bodies
    Dodge the hug and back off
    Dodge the hug and offer a handshake instead
    Hug them and kiss them (on cheek, lips, wherever)

  85. Seated in a living room chair, you position your legs:
    Crossed ankle over knee
    Crossed at ankle with knees together
    Crossed at knee
    Not crossed
    Propped up on furniture or tucked under bottom

  86. You catch a thrown ball by:
    "Trapping it" in your clothing or using a glove
    Bare one-handed catch
    Bare two-handed catch
    Wait til it grounds then pick it up
    Scrambling whatever way the ball hits you

  87. Your long distance special friend, loved relative, or lover has a birthday. You:
    Send a card
    Send a card and a check
    Send a card and a gift certificate
    Send a card and a gift
    Call them only

  88. You've received a birthday gift of a check for $100 from a distant friend/relative/lover. You:
    Call and thank them
    Write a thank you beside your check endorsement
    Write a formal thank you note on stationery
    Call to thank and send a note
    Do nothing.

  89. You broke a treasured wine goblet while washing it. You:
    Toss the pieces in the trash and proceed on
    Crumple in a ball on the floor and cry
    Curse loudly as to the value of the glass
    Pick every sliver up and glue it back together
    Kick the slivers under the stove and proceed on

  90. You are eating cereal and milk at home, alone. The cereal has run out and milk remains in the bowl. Do you:
    Use the spoon to finish the milk
    Drink from the bowl where ever you are
    Drink from the bowl over the sink
    Give the milk to the cat
    Throw the milk away

  91. You have a broken leg and are lost in the woods alone. You hear distant voices, but feel very weak. Do you:
    Scream for help
    Bang a couple of rocks together
    Try to drag yourself to the voices
    Sit and prepare to die, figuring they won't find you
    Cry and pray and assume they'll find you

  92. You sleep with:
    A small nightlight on
    Absolutely no lights on
    The bathroom light on
    The kitchen stove light on
    The bedroom light on

  93. You sleep in:
    Nothing, nude
    Sweats or similar
    Cotton pajamas or similar
    Lacy pajamas or similar
    Whatever is clean at the time

  94. Meeting a celebrity you really admire/like makes you:
    Speechless
    Chatter endlessly about inane things
    Able to talk but physically a klutz
    Has no effect, normal
    Want to run away

  95. When your boss disciplines you, assume here this is a good boss, you:
    Take your licking and return to sulk
    Argue back
    Hit or threaten him/her
    Cry
    Remain quiet but go out and trash him/her to co-workers

  96. When you have to discipline a co-worker or child you:
    Yell
    Avoid doing it
    Hit or threaten hitting
    Reason with them
    State the cold facts and deliver the punishment

  97. You are promoted and suddenly are your pals' boss. You:
    Try to remain socially friendly
    Slowly divorce yourself socially
    Finally have a chance to get back at them!
    Let them tell you what to do
    Try to avoid them

  98. Your watch is broken. You:
    Get along ok, finding clocks when you need the time
    Are completely lost and late for everything
    Don't look for clocks, prefering to ask others for the time
    Call time/temperature every hour
    Estimate time by the sun/moon

  99. A parent you love is old and infirm, but needs no critical nursing. They can't live alone any more though. Do you:
    Put them in a nursing home
    Put them in an assisted living facility
    Take them into your home
    Talk your sibling into taking them
    Let them remain where they are

  100. In your view, the most important character trait your partner must have is:
    Love
    Honesty
    Compassion
    Patience
    Obedience
    Ability to provide
    Be well educated
    Sense of humor
    Communication skills
    Positive outlook on life

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