Notice (11/02/2000):
I was digging through Yahoo! and just stumbled upon this page I had submitted to them what must have been 3 years ago. I revived my Tripod account today and thought I would post a message saying that: Yahoo! will, in fact, add your site! My Sacrament must actually work, you see!

Also, being that this site is getting about 2000 hits a month from Yahoo!, I thought I should somehow enhance it. If you have any ideas, please email me!

On a cold day in December, a young webmaster approached me with a very serious problem. He could not get his site listed in Yahoo!. It was that very day that I exposed my innermost secret: my ability to add sites to the Yahoo directory.

My young friend looked on, with enough willpower to move a steamboat made of solid steel. I revealed the following method... BE WARNED: Not following these steps exactly can cause more problems for you than you might expect. Your site can become deleted from other engines as well as never being added to the treasured Yahoo directory. This is NOT a joke! You must seriously devote yourself to this procedure...this sacrament of site submission.

Note: the entire process is 5 days long. The first day the most rigorous, the rest fairly subtle in devotion.

Step 1 - physical.
Within day 1, submit your site to the Yahoo directory following their exact instructions. If you have already done it, that is OK! You will be doing it again. Pay close attention to all of the instructions and guidelines they present to you, follow them exactly.

Step 2 - vocal.
recite the following chant exactly 10 times while facing toward the Yahoo submission result screen. This is the screen that thanks you for suggesting your site. The chant MUST be said at volume; using roughly 60% of your vocal capacity. ALSO: place your LEFT hand on your mouse, and hold your right hand high in the air.

 

yahoo yahoo cyber yahoo click
cyber click click submit click yahoo

click input meta meta null null null null
cyber go no request meta submitty submitty submitty
http http http yahoo yahoo cyber
cyber yahoo click click click

add html add html add html add cyber
go go go go yahoo yahoo yahoo submitty
read read read read

feel my thoughts and words all mighty yahoo
feel my pain
feel my thoughts and words all mighty yahoo
feel my pain
feel my thoughts and words all mighty yahoo
feel my pain
feel my thoughts and words all mighty yahoo
feel my pain

 

Step 3 - days 2-5
Every moring when you wake for the next 4 days, chant the following beside your bed:

All might Yahoo, all might Yahoo, I love you, mighty Yahoo.
h-t-t-p-colon-slash-slash-w-w-w-dot-yahoo-dot-com

You're done. I give this information to you with kindness, and hope you will return that kindness when you have succedded. Email me at fingercuffs@usa.net.