:

Please vote for Kelly Ripa here!    (for whatever she is,
        whatever she has done, or whatever she may yet do).

Liquor stores are closed in Indiana today.  It may be New Year's
Eve, but it's also a Sunday. . . .

South Bend Mayor Pete Buttigieg and his boy friend were get-
ting married.
                                                       [courtesy Columbus Republic]

                         

"Circumcision  harms.   Bring  your whole baby home"
reads a first-in-the-nation billboard erected  in  Owens-
boro by Your Whole Baby, an anti-circumcision organ-
ization based in Texas. . . .

A Madisonville automobile salesman was  charged  with
theft for taking nearly $4,000 from the dealership where
he worked and throwing it out the window of his car (the
money has not been recovered). . . .

A man found a frozen alligator in his back yard in Harlan
County. . . .

Psychiatrist Robby Strong, a native of Paducah, Kentucky,
delivered boxes of horse manure to the two homes of U.S.
Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin in Los Angeles, Cali-
fornia,  on  Christmas  Eve  to  "thank" him for the tax re-
form bill. . . .

A Hickman County deputy sheriff chased a man who fail-
ed to stop at a roadblock into Tennessee  and shot and kil-
led him there.
                                                                [courtesy LEX18]

briantam.jpg Kentucky's most wanted: Brian Craig, WM, 52, 6'0", 170 lbs, useless as tits on a boar; Tamara Barrett, WF, 45, 5'7", 220 lbs, sorry as a sled load of shit; Lamarius Gates, BM, 23, 5'3", 145 lbs, assault, persistent felony offender, "featured fugitive of the week"; James Gregory, WM, 30, 5'10", 140 lbs, upside down ears (pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon says): "My agent informed me that a male enhancement company is using my likeness   in a fake interview to sell its product:  'The Wheat  –  harder  than  Superman's   kneecap'." – Leonard Simon

Funny beer brands:  Broken Rudder.                             

amynicol.jpg Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Amy L. Reed, WF, 33, a/k/a Amy L. Gerdes, 5'4", 135 lbs, theft, mistreatment of an elderly person; Nicole M. Pulliam, WF, 25, 5'4", 200 lbs, tattoos on neck, left wrist, right ankle and chest, possession of firearm by a felon, overstay at the China Buffet; Stormy R. Stewart, WF, 53, a/k/a Stormy McPeak, Marcella Garner, 5'1", 120 lbs, possession of opiates; Wanted in Waco: Destiny Annette Rosas, BF, 37, 5'1", 125 lbs, theft 5x with 2 priors (Sedgwick County Sheriff, Waco Police Dept.)

A topless Ukrainian woman with "God is Woman" written on her tor-
so grabbed the baby Jesus from the nativity scene at the Vatican  in  a
protest by the feminist group Femen. . . . A Republican adviser called
Sarah Huckabee Sanders  a "serial,  congenital  liar"  on a CNN panel
show. . . . Hawaii Judge Rhonda Loo ordered defendant Daren Young,
who violated a domestic violence order 144 times,  to write  144  nice
things  about  his girl friend,  without repeating any words,  to avoid a
jail sentence. . . . A  pileated  woodpecker  broke two dozen side auto-
mobile side mirrors in Snellville, Georgia, imagining a rival as he saw
his own reflection. . . .  Melania Trump ordered the Jackson magnolia
tree removed from the White House lawn. .  .  . More than five feet of
snow fell on Erie, Pennsylvania, over Christmas. . . .  An  All  Nippon
Airways plane, four hours into a flight to Tokyo, Japan, turned around
and flew back to Los Angeles,  California,  to return a passenger  who
had boarded the wrong airliner. . . . The Minnesota Public Radio show
"Live from Here" this weekend and last were rebroadcasts of previous
Prairie Home Companion shows  (and, by the way,  typing http://prai-
riehome.org/ into your URL line will redirect you to https://www.live-
fromhere.org/). .  .  .  Dire Straits' Walk of Life was nominated by Tab-
loid Headlines for the greatest rock 'n' roll song ever.

                                                           [courtesy LEX18, Raw Story, AP]

Things  you might not know if you did not read Harper's Index or Tab-
loid Headlines:  The ratio of white millennials who favor Republicans
to those who favor Democrats: 1:1.  .  .  .  Percentage by which opioid
prescriptions outnumber residents in Trinity County, California (that's
just north of Mendocino, folks):  44. . . .  Rank of the United States in
2014 among countries sought by refugees to reside in:  4. Rank in 20-
17:  43. . . . Percentage of births paid for by Medicaid in the U.S.:  47.
. . . Increase in the Amish population in the U.S. since 1992:  150 per
cent. . . . Estimated change in traffic to web news sites shifting to vid-
eo:  Minus 60.  .  .  .  North Korea's debt to New York City in parking
tickets: $152,505.  Egypt's:  $1,989,554. . . . The first wild bison seen
in Germany since 1755 was killed by a hunter.

                                                           [courtesy Harper's, Funny Times]

One bettor at the Gulfstream Park horse track in Hallandale Beach, Flo-
rida, was about to ride to a $571,744 jackpot on a 20-cent "pick 6" tick-
et, which to win you have to pick six winners in a row; and to win it all,
you have to be the only one to do so.  His sixth horse,  Cryogenic,  with
odds of only 8 to 1,  was leading the pack.   He was pulling away in the
stretch when his jockey, Emisael Jaramillo, fell off (and got stepped on
by one of the trailing horses).  Cryogenic still led by a nose at the finish
line, but a horse can't win without a rider.  Rising Son, with José Batista
aboard, got the honor. Tickets with five winners still returned $1,935.52.
So:  Did the bettor lose $571,744, or only $569,808.28 ($571,744 minus
$1,935.52 minus 20 cents)?

A while ago, my husband and I co-signed a car loan for my
son.  At the time he was financially stable.  But  about  2½
years into the loan,  we started getting late notices from the
car company.  The car eventually was totaled, and there is a
balance of about $5,500 on the loan.  Now  the  company  is
looking to us for payment. Our son apparently was never on
the loan; only my husband and I are. He has ruined our cred-
it, to say the least.

About a year ago, our son placed us in charge of his daughter's
financial plan.  There is about $27,000 left in the account. I re-
cently got an e-mail from our son stating  that my granddaugh-
ter is dropping out of college  and  that he wants to transfer the
funds  to  his  younger  daughter.  He wanted me to sign the ac-
count over to his ex-wife. I don't want to do this. She is a spen-
der and I am afraid the children would never get the money for
their education.  I want to stay in charge.

I have called the company the plan is with; and because I am the
owner, I could withdraw the $5,500 owed to the car company.  I
would like to get this behind us.     My husband and I are retired
and just barely making ends meet, and there is no way we could
ever pay back this loan on our own and have our credit restored.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
                                                                                    Sad Parents

lifesasq.jpg B-Woo meets his new neighbor, Life Saver Dude: Yeah, but which one is B-Woo?

:

Eighteen locally raised watermelons will be dropped from
an 18-foot watermelon replica hoisted into the air  at  mid-
night in Vincennes next Sunday to  welcome  in  2018,  at
the  annual  watermelon  drop  festival.  (No,  this  festival
does not date to the 20th century;  so  there  was no 98- or
99-watermelon drop. But, stay tuned: In a few  more years
years it may get interesting.) . . .

A former owner of Abbey Inn & Suites  in Brown County
was sued by that state's attorney general  for a  guest  who
charged $350 after she posted a negative review of the ho-
tel  on line,  complaining about dirt and hair on the sheets,
inter al. . . .

A funeral home in Muncie  was  sued  for dropping a wo-
man's body and placing the body of another woman in her
casket. . . .

Two persons who held a rally at the Courthouse,  with am-
plified sound, sued the city of Fort Wayne to nullify an or-
dinance prohibiting noise "plainly audible to a person with
normal hearing" more than 50 feet away, saying it violated
their freedom of speech. . . .

Three people and a dog were killed  in a single-engine air-
plane crash near Oldenburg, in Franklin County.  One dog
survived.
                [courtesy Columbus Republic (see also the sports)]

wilcoxgr.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Lindsey Wilcox, WF, 5'6", 160 lbs, forgery, fail. to appear; Don Scott, WM, 5'9", 190 lbs, residential entry, motor vehicle theft, resisting arrest, possession of legend drug injection (i.e., the book); Demetrius Thomas, BM, 5'8", 195 lbs, robbery; Wanted in Berrien County, Michigan: John Calvin Gentry, BM, domestic violence; Leontis Moncell Roseburgh, BM, aggravated domestic violence; Michquel Ianmarie Hines, a/k/a Taylor, BF, uttering & publishing (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

The federal "tax reform" bill will cost the University of  No-
tre Dame,  in  Indiana,  about $9 million  a  year  and  Berea
College, in Kentucky, about a million dollars a year in taxes
on previously untaxed endowments.

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon says): "My offer of a million dollars in cash and a real nice suitcase, for one night to   wallow in the mire, has gone unrewarded.  There seems to be a pattern – the   women seem to want the money up front.  Where's the love?" – Leonard Simon

Loyall, 93
                 
                Edward Preher, 74
               

A little girl playing a sheep and a girl playing Mary fought over the baby Je-
sus in a manger play in White Pine,  Tennessee  (there's video!). . . . An Ala-
bama couple had sextuplets:  Tag, Layke and Blu,  boys,  and Rivers,  Rawl-
ings and Rayne,  girls. . . . A woman was arrested for child abuse in Pierson,
Florida,  by deputy sheriffs who found three dead dogs in her freezer. . . .  A
couple were arrested in Claremore, Oklahoma, for posting a picture on Slap-
crap Snapchat of their daughter hanging from a door handle in a laundry bag.
. . .  "Me, too" street artists have been putting  #SheKnew  posters  of  Meryl
Streep around Los Angeles, California. .  .  . Sewage exploded from a  drink-
ing  fountain  at the Environmental Protection agency office  in  Washington,
D.C. . . . Bexar County, Texas,  Sheriff's  deputies  chasing a woman wanted
for felonies shot and killed her  as she was breaking into a mobile home in a
trailer park in Schertz, Texas, killing also a 6-year-old boy living in the trail-
er. . . . Apple Inc. was sued in Los Angeles and Chicago for issuing software
"updates" slowing down I-Phones to get customers to  buy  new  ones. . . . A
man was arrested in Okmulgee,  Oklahoma,  for  beating  his girl friend's  5-
year-old son for opening a Christmas present early.
                                                                                       [courtesy LEX18, AP]


tabpearl.jpg Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas: Tabitha Marie South, WF, 33, 5'5", 135 lbs, possession of controlled substances and stoeln propery; Dmitry Yevgenevich, WM, 23, 5'8", 150 lbs, possession of stolen property; Pearl M. Steart-Erxleben, WF, 50, 5'4", 150 lbs, stalking (Sedgwick County Sheriff)

Griffith High School fans, including juveniles, sitting behind
visiting Hammond High School coaches  at a freshman game
in northern Indiana,  got into a brawl with the coaches on the
basketball floor with 6.3 seconds left in the game.    Referees
called the game and sent all players and coaches to the locker
rooms.  It was not reported  who  won  the game  (or what the
score was when the game was called).  The same two schools
were involved in another on-court brawl at a game in 2015.

At a friend's wedding I introduced myself to the groom's fa-
ther.  Because I was carrying something in my right hand,  I
extended my left hand.  I'm no dead fish type,  but  his  "lob-
ster  grip"  was so tight  it crushed my ring  into  my  finger,
leaving  a  bruise.  I made no comment at the time,  but now
I'm seething. What might I have said, or should say in a sim-
ilar encounter?
                                                               Sore in Silicon Valley

lifecoon.jpg Life Saver Dude: It's Dasher the Prancing Reincoon, I prresume?

:

The town marshal of Bunker Hill,  hired  to replace the mar-
shal  who resigned a year ago  saying  the  town council had
asked him to do "illegal, unethical and immoral" things, was
fired for "conduct unbecoming a police officer." . . .

The  town  clerk  of  Bunker     Hill, Lisa Wilson, was arres-     ted for embezzling over $32,-     000.       [courtesy Kokomo Tribune]

codybent.jpg Terre Haute's most wanted: Cody Archer, WM, 25, 5'10", 195 lbs, brown hair. green eyes, burglary; Wanted in Berrien County, Michigan: Brent Alan Fergison, WM, uttering & publishing and larceny in a building (Wabash and Michiana Crime Stoppers)

               

Mason County High School was placed on lockdown on
account of a student's threat on "social media." . . .

A middle school pupil in Marion County  posted a photo
of himself with a gun on Instantspam Instagram with the
message "Gonna shoot up the school."
                                                               [courtesy LEX18]

saravero.jpg Covington's most wanted: Sara L. Snyder, WF, 23, 5'3", 160 lbs, felony forgery, felony drugs; Veronica Howard, WF, 41, 5'8", 140 lbs, felony escape; Tamara Left, BF, 37, 5'6", 163 lbs, felony theft, felony forgery; Kimberly Khamisi, BF, 55, 5'4", 145 lbs, tampering with records (Covington Police Dept.); Joanne Lynn Hogan, WF, 45, tats on back, neck & right hip, escape fr. work release (Newton County Sheriff)

 

dyvontae.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Dyvontae Davis, BM, 21, 5'11", 142 lbs, mobery; Manslaughter: Christy Torres, WF, 22, "featured fugitive of week"; Roxie Cedeno, BF, 58, 5'2", 173 lbs, mobery; Oddessey Howard, BF, 25, 5'6', morbid curiosity; dianater.jpg Diana Bishop, BF, 34, 5'9", 213 lbs, overstay at the China Buffet; Terry Minnifield, BM, 30, 5'8", 165 lbs, asleep at the wheel (pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon says): "Seven shoplifting days left until Christmas, and 15 left to get   laid until the New Year – my biological clock is ticking." – Leonard Simon

The Northside Church of Christ is  one  of two "colored country chur-  ches" within less than half  a  mile  of each other in Boiling Spring, on  Kentucky Highway 743,  in  north-  ern Warren County,  a  mile  south   of the Edmonson County line (but  the  congregants,  though  predom-  inantly  African  - American,   will  tell  you  that  their  mission  is  to  minister  to  all  nationalities,   not  just blacks).  Until  about four years ago  it  was  a convenience store, developed by  M. O. "Johnny" Wingfield,  name-  sake of the namesake of the Wing-

field community, in Edmonson County,  just up the road from Boiling Spring, for whom the  Editor of Tabloid Headlines,  wearing his lawyer hat,  got the property rezoned for commercial use  about  1983 (Johnny lived in Boiling Spring, not in Wingfield). Worshipers come from as far as Smiths Grove, sev- en miles to the east, and Bowling Green, ten miles to the south – neither by a straight road. [Tabloid Headlines photos]

Tavis Smiley,  Dustin Hoffman, and a Democrat woman running for senator
in Kansas  joined the "Me, too" game (on the "You, too?" side). . . . And, in
the  demise of Garrison Keillor as a member of the  "You,  too?"  team,  the
radio show Prairie Home Companion was renamed "Live from Here."  .  .  .
It's "streamed" on line (so why don't the dumb, mother, fucking, sons, of, bit-
ches, just put it on TV?). . . . A White Plains, New York, woman sued a sur-
geon she said took a language test on  his  cell  phone  while he operated on
her. . . .The federal Center for Disease Control was prohibited by the Trump
administration from using  seven  words  and phrases in its budget proposal:
transgender,  diversity,  entitlement,  vulnerable,  fetus,  evidence-based and
science-based.  In  lieu  of  "evidence-based" and "science-based," it was of-
fered  the alternative phrase  "CDC bases its recommendations on science in
consideration with community standards and wishes." Kevin Drum suggest-
ed these alternate words and phrases in a column in Mother Jones magazine:
"Welfare"  for "entitlement,"  "unborn  child"  for  "fetus,"  "elitist" for "evi-
dencebased,"   "atheist"  for  "science-based,"   "anti-white"  for  "diversity,"
"snowflake" for "vulnerable,"   and "deviant" for "transgender."

                                                                                         [courtesy LEX18, AP]

johnross.jpg Wanted in Tom Green County, Texas: John Ross McKee, WM, 32, 5'7", 150 lbs, blue eyes, blonde or strawberry hair, theft, evading arrest (courtesy the Sheriff); Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Elizabeth Santana, HF, 47, 5'1", 145 lbs, black hair, brown eyes, possession of meth in a drug free zone; Caleb Nolan Tuck, WM, 25, 6'3", 220 lbs, brown hair & eyes, possession of heroin (in a dfz) (Abilene Crime Stoppers); Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Gretchen Diane Macy, WF, 61, 5'4", 91 lbs, b [sic] hair, hazel eyes, theft, probation violation; Jimmy M. Ponds, BM, 6', 165 lbs, black hair, brown eyes, aggravated burglary and possession of certain stiumulants (Sedgwick County Sheriff)

My 13-year-old daughter has been invited to a classmate's
birthday party.   The birthday girl's mom plans to drop the
girls off at the mall – six of them – for four hours,  during
which they'll wander around with money, cell phones and
credit cards and a plan to get food at some point.

I am not comfortable with this plan. I called the mom and
asked why she isn't going with them.  She  explained  that
her daughter doesn’t want her there.  I  suggested  that the
two of us go with the girls and then,  perhaps,  let them go
off on their own for short periods,  and meet up with them
from time to time.   But,  no.   She wanted her daughter to
feel "independent," and to give her her "space."

Aside from safety, I dont like the idea of going to the mall
just to hang out.   No good comes from that.   My daughter
always comes home wanting a bunch of  stuff  she  doesn't
need.   When she buys clothes or other junk impulsively,  it
always ends up in the trash or on the charity pile later.  We-
're on a tight budget, and this isn't in it.  I  don't  mind  get-
ting her friend a birthday gift, but this is more complicated.

If it were  someone  else,  we'd just skip it.  But this is her
closest  friend.  It would be devastating for both of them if
my  daughter  didn't  go.  But I don't want her to go under
these circumstances.

                          Between a Rock and a Hard Place in Ohio

You rent a suite in the local hotel.  You invite all the boys
in the local "Halfway House" there  for the birthday party.
You remind them that if they  misbehave,  they  could   go
back to jail.

Then send the girls to the hotel.  It's much cleaner and sa-
fer, don't you think?

People who invited us to be their "friends" on Clutterbook Facebook in the last week  included  Renee O'Daniel Butler,  Alyssa Schwartz, Lularoe  Liz  Fuhrman  Bragg,  Misty  Brown,  Abdul  Rahmansyah, Sebastian Martinez Cardoso,  Nur  Hayati,  Fatimah  Ima  Mamanya Yumna,  Laura Sánchez Navarro,  and Mubashir Rajput.

:

                  

tractorb.jpg A John Deere tractor pulling a disc ripper wider than the bridge it was crossing destroyed the bridge in Boone County (Indianapolis Star)

A letter from 340 students, employees and alumni of the U-
niversity of Notre Dame called for removal of 12 murals of
Christopher  Columbus  that  have  hung in a building since
1884.
                                               [courtesy South Bend Tribune]

The  state  Board of Education  imposed  new  high  school
graduation requirements including showing "employability"
through service or work projects  or  showing  readiness for
college by getting high scores  on  pre-college  exams  such
as the Scholastic Assessment Test (SAT). . . .

A 37-acre tract of land St. Joseph County offered a farmer
$340,000 for was valued at $1,400,000 by court-appointed
appraisers.
                                              [courtesy Columbus Republic]

devandre.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Danielle Cornell, WF, 26, FBI warrant from Birmingham, Ala., for heroin possession; Wanted in Berrien County, Michigan: Devin Quinton Perry, BM, assault by strangulation, malicious destruction of property; Tiffany Leila Johnston, WF, uttering and publishing, larceny in a building; Avondre Deotis-James Young, BM, assault with intent to rob while armed (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

Three school buses headed for three different schools  crash-
ed in Louisville, sending 41 students to hospitals, as one bus
rear-ended the second of two stopped at a light  and  the sec-
ond then rear-ended the first.
                                                [courtesy the Courier-Journal]

A 3-year-old Louisville boy accidentally shot himself and
then was involved in a multiple-vehicle crash as his father
was rushing him to a hospital (he was expected to live). . . .

A former employee of Big Ass Fans in Lexington sued the
company for wrongful termination. . . .

A family found a pile of seven  dead  deer  on their farm in
Scott County, from which only the backstraps (a choice cut
of meat) were harvested.
                                                                  [courtesy LEX18]

dennbobo.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Dennis Boden, WM, 43, 5'9", 190 lbs, combative; Chelsea Bobo, 23, 4'10", 130 lbs, featured fugitive of the week, second degree burglary; Zachary Jones, WM, 25, 6'1", 115 lbs, skinny; Whitney Oakley, WF, 22, 5'2", 140 lbs, lied about her age, lied about her weight; Jameson Walls, WM, 28, 5'7", 130 lbs, closet wimp (pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon says): "You've just got to grab that crack pipe by the horns and throw it away.  Every once in a while." – Leonard Simon

Since the Harvey Weinstein scandal broke, a daybed was removed from
Erika Rothenberg's marble mosaic  "The Road to Hollywood" in a mall
next door to the Academy Awards theater, apparently viewed as a "cas-
ting couch" by someone. . . .  Time magazine's "Man of the Year" is all
the women who have brought heat on the likes of Roy Moore  Al Fran-
ken,  Garrison  Keillor  and  John  Hockenberry.   Called  "The  Silence
Breakers," five of them will appear on the cover of the December 18 is-
sue.  Donald Trump came in second. . . . Ashley  Judd,  one of the "Me,
too" Man of the Year for her report on Harvey Weinstein, said she was
felt   up  by  Charlie Rose,  too. . . . The editor of the National Enquirer
was accused of sexual misconduct  by  employees.  .  .  .  Pennsylvania
State Rep. Daryl Metcalfe virtually accused Rep. Matthew Bradford of
being gay when Bradford touched his arm in a committee meeting (see
video!). . . . Snow fell in Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi and Louisiana.

                                                                              [courtesy LEX18, AP]




                                                   [courtesy Wichita Falls and Abilene Crime Stoppers]

stacyjos.jpg Wanted in Wichita Falls (Texas, not Wichita, Kansas): Stacy Ann Brackeen, 27, blonde hair, blue eyes, 125 lbs, 5'3", bond revocaion, possession of controlled substance; Joseph Bernstein, 35, brown hair, blue eyes, 120 lbs, 5'11", bond revocation, manufacture/delivery of controlled substance; melilora.jpg Melissa Gonzalez, 39, black hair, brown eyes, 160 lbs, 4'11", surety off bond, possession of controlled substance in drug free zone, Texoma's Most wanted fugitives of the week; Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Lora Leeann Eaton, WF, 23, 5'0", 110 lbs, brown hair, blue eyes, hindering apprehension of a felon

tilapril.jpg Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Tesas): Atilla Hughes, WM, 150 lbs, black hair, green eyes, mushroom tattoo on right arm, unknown tattoo on left finger, aggravated battery; April Paulina Reed a/k/a April Paulina Cubbage, WM[sic], 33, 5'1", 180 lbs, brown hair, hazel eyes, tattoos "Daddy Girl" on left wrist, flowers on left arm, cards on right breast, possession of certain stimulant; De'Andre Marquce Dilworth, BM, 27, 5'8", 230 lbs, black hair, brown eyes, tattoos "KC913" on left neck, "Tycoon" and "1990" on left hand, "Kansas" and "Est" on right hand, "Loyalty" on left arm, "Respect" on right forearm, caution: gang member, Hallucinogenic distribution (Sedgwick County Sheriff)

Beyondsay,  a surprise presenter  brought out by master of ceremonies
Trevor Noah, presented Sports Illustrated's Muhammad Ali Legacy A-
ward to Colin Kaepernick. . . .

colinder.jpg It's easy for Derek Jeter to blame his mom for being ugly, buy whom can Colin Kaepernick blame? (Or is it just his haircut, or lack thereof? Derek, Sanderson Charles Jeter, Dorothy Connors Jeter, James Lofton, Heidi Russo, adopted by Teresa & Rick Kaepernick

I'm a teen-age girl who has always heard and seen on TV and
in movies that there's pressure from guys  to  have  sex.  That
may be true,  but I feel there is also pressure  from  society.  I
don't want to have sex yet, but I still feel like I have to. If you
know how I can stop feeling like this, please let me know                                                                     

                                                                  Feeling the Pressure

lifegopp.jpg Life Saver Dude: It's God's Own Party! "Before we discuss raising taxes on the poor & middle class adding $1 trillion to the deficit, taking health insurance away from 13 million, raising premiums by 10%, defending treason and swearing in a pedophile, let's begin with a prayer"

:

As you may know by the news, Donald Trump has nominated
himself for Time magazine's Man of the Year for  an  unprece-
dented two years in a row,  and  Time  has denied  that anyone
has  been  chosen.  But the Editors of  Tabloid  Headlines  are
concerned  that Mr. Trump just may be the nominee,  the  way
he gets his  way;  and we are encouraging alternative nomina-
tions now just to give Time some things to think about.   Gary
Logsdon,  an attorney in Brownsville, Ky.,  has already nomi-
nated Steve Bannon;  and our columnist Wheatley  has  nomi-
nated Roy Moore.   We,  the  editors,  hereby nominate Sarah
Huckabee Sanders for man of the year.  Send in your choices,
please – not to us, but directly to Time! Time is of the essence;
Wednesday is publication day.

Indiana University's student Intrafraternity Council prohibi-
ted social events at fraternities until spring. . . .

Police in Anderson chased a car a woman had reported sto-
len  –  and nabbed the woman's 8-year-old daughter behind
the wheel.
                                               [courtesy Columbus Republic]

gregtomi.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Gregory Davis Jr., BM, 5'7", 140 lbs, robbery; Tomika McLeod, BF, 5'9", 170 lbs, cocaine; Tracy Glassburn, WM, 6'0", 160 lbs, legend drug inject.; Wanted in Berrien County, Michigan: Nathaniel Lee Carter Sr., BM, domestic violence x3 (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

Senator Rand Paul said the neighbor who attacked him in
his yard told him why he was upset – but Paul refused to
say what it was.
                                 [courtesy Louisville Courier-Journal]

A 29-year-old man arrested for an assault in Berea said be-
ing in jail is "the closest I've ever been to a vacation." . . .

. . .

lifecrys.jpg Crystal Neeley, one of seven bused in meth ring in Laurel County; Life Saver Dude: Aptly named, my dear

A "social media" threat to "MCHS" resulted in the closing
of Maranahock Community High School  (and the Middle
School)  in  Readfield,  Maine,  but it was directed against
Madison Central High School in Richmond, Kentucky. . . .

A mother in Powell County complained that her children
were being bullied for not attending a  "voluntary  nonde-
nominational"  prayer group  at their school. . . .

Removal from the state capitol of a plaque honoring Jeffer-
son Davis  has  been  delayed  while a lawyer for Governor
Selfie decides whether the board  that  ordered  it  removed
had the authority to do so.
                                                                  [courtesy LEX18]
 

alexuste.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Alexus White, BF, 23, 5', 118 lbs, burlgar wannabe; Teddie Prater, WM, 31, 5'10", 150 lbs, wannabe in Alexus; Taylor Lucuas, BF, 23, 5'6", 150 lbs, wannabe a boy; brian Crute, BM, 37, 6'0", 205 lbs, wannaa replace Mugabe; Angela Riley, WF, 37, 5'6", 170 lbs, wanna go back to China Buffet (dragged kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)
alcornja.jpg Pamela Clark, last week's "featured fugitive of the week," turns out to be BF, 50, 5'3" and 144 lbs (she was in again this week), . . . and this guy, unidentified last week, turns out to be James Alcorn, WM, 42, 6'2", 160 lbs, charge still unreported: Let's just say he's wanted for being Amish in an un-Amish world (the other unidentified perps pictured last week remain totally unidentified)

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon says): "I read  'Dear Eleanor's' column last week,  and I'd just like to say,  I don't   'want to do right.'  I  don't  'wholeheartedly support'  the 'awakening con-   sciousness' of women.  I just want to get into their pants." – Leonard Simon

                                          

The Archbishop of Canterbury said he didn't understand why
Christians support Donald Trump. . . . The web site GoFund-
Me shut down a drive set up to raise money for Charles Man-
son's funeral. . . . Jordan  and  Justin  Garton,  of  Fort Smith,
Arkansas, were planning to name their baby girl Olivia, after
their favorite restaurant. . . . A gay rector of the Scottish Epis-
copal Church said he hopes 4-year-old Prince George, third in
line to the throne,  grows up gay,  to make the Church of Eng-
land accept gay marriage. . . . A 70-year-old resident of a Bur-
lington, Vermont, retirement community, with a "lengthy men-
tal health history" and wanting to "injure herself," made a ricin
cocktail she tested on her neighbors. . . .  Scientists  concluded
that dogs are smarter than cats.
                                                                  [courtesy LEX18, AP]

glodowsk.jpg Wanted in Warsaw Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Tamara L. Glodowski, WF, 34, 5'2" 155 lbs, possession of narcotics; Robert J. Kubiec, WM, 27, 5'9", 230 lbs, ankle tattoo, controlled substance (Sedgwick County Sheriff)

elizport.jpg Texoma's most wanted fugitives of the week: Wanted in Wichita Falls (Texas, not Wichita, Kansas): Elizabeth Payne, 19, red hair, blue eyes, 140 lbs, 5'6", bond revocation, possession of controlled substance PG1 U/1g; Keith Porter, 58, brown hair & eyes, 185 lbs, 5'10", burglary of a building (News Talk 1290, Wichita Falls Crime Stoppers)
manzstev.jpg Manzel William, 37, brown hair & eyes, 150 lbs, 5'10", violation of probation, aggravated assault with deadly weapon; Stevie Rawald, 33, black hair, brown eyes, 110 lbs, 5'0", fraudulent intent to obtain controlled substance

I have been with my boy friend for two years. When I’m with
him I often find him  annoying  and  think we have nothing in
common.  But when we are apart, I miss him a lot.  When we
talk on the phone we have amazing conversations and discuss
a future,  but when we're together we don't talk so much;  and
he never mentions a future.

I'm confused.  Is this normal?
                                                                Perplexed in Virginia

vollybal.jpg Western Kentucky University volleyball players Sydney Engle (21) and Taylor Dellinger (16) celebrate their victory over Notre Dame in the NCAA tournament in Lexington, Ky.; Coach Travis Hudson and Hallie Shelton (photos by Michael Reaves for the Park City (Bowling Green, Ky.) Daily News)