PANDEMONIUM!

You pagans are probably in pained anticipation of a party pronouncement, so perk up your ears and pay particular attention to this placard!

Piqued by perplexing problems?

Parched for personal partnership?

Pestered by pusillanimous preppies?

President Pamela prescribes a Party!

Put aside previously placed priorities and pressure you peers —persuade them to participate in this unprecedented panoramic pageantry!

Perhaps it’s been passed on that this party is prohibited—POPPYCOCK!

Prepare for paradise.....

Parley pleasantries with personable people!

Prance, perspire, and pant to the primitive percussions of the pounding Panasonic!

Profess profound propositions and promote prevarications to be preserved for posterity!

Portray positive predictions and popularize your point with powerful, practical people!

Puke on putrid, precariously perched preachers and pull ‘em off their pedestals!

Pounce on prospective propaganda pushers!

Promptly pick up prime personalities under pretenses of perjurous promises!

Get plastered, puke, piss off, and pass out with other pathetic punks!

Pursue your propensity to pester people for prolonged disputes of partisan politics and other profundities!

Provoke the public by protesting presidential policies and campaign promises!

Police a potential possibility, so prepare for pyrrhic repulsion!

Pertaining to particulars:

Palace:

Premier: 9 p.m.

Patrons: Your Pals

Prerequisite: Present your pins

Plenty of pop and pilsener. Provide your own appropriate personal paraphernalia.

Please postpone prolonged noise pollution!

Your presence is presumed, so plan to partake of this peerless pageant!