gooker

Yes, don't adjust your monitors…The "BIG SURPRISE" was some poor fool dressed in a ridiculous turkey costume! I mean no one knew what to expect, but this without a doubt wasn't it! Upon the unveiling the crowd gasps (not a sound in the arena). Then like a bad dream a chorus of boos start to ring through the stadium…But really, how did Vince and his bookers expect the fans to react? Did he want the crowd to high five each other while screaming and shouting "YES, IT'S SOME GUY IN A TURKY COSTUME, YIPEE"! (I think not). I mean what does this have to do with wrestling? The fact of the matter remains that whoever came up with this should have been ashamed that the thought even passed through his/her mind, let alone have the audacity to implement it! The whole scenario just baffles me.

gooker

Anyhow, back to the story, the abomination leaps from its egg, and what's this? Oh my God, the turkey man is going to talk to Mean Gene! It grabs the microphone and begins spitting out complete nonsense and babble - Mean Gene then appropriately baptizes it THE GOBBLEDY-GOOKER! (amazing, just amazing).

By this time it's painfully clear that whole piece is obviously a mammoth mistake, but like the true soldiers that they are, the Gooker and Gene keep it up (they just couldn't let Vince down!). Gooker takes poor Gene by the hand and proceeds to escort the beloved announcer to the ring.

gooker

Now the real fun begins! Into the ring goes the Gooker, (some loyal fans try to get into the act, but it's just impossible to cheer for such a thing!) The Gooker and Gene break into dance, why no one knows. The Gooker hops and skips, jigs and shuffles, yes sir, this is worth the price of admission! The whole segment lasts about eight disturbing minutes (which is sad enough).

After reflecting on this piece, I couldn't help but imagine the poor sap that played the Gooker returning to the back-stage area belittled, confused and mortified. Can't you just picture the poor fella' sitting in the dressing room covered in sweat, with his head between his legs? All the other wrestlers and staff stare, whisper and giggle? (I feel his pain) Horrible, just plain horrible!



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