Alanis Morissette -- Hallmark Olympic Concert Series (02/22/02) Transcript
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The transcript is below, and features these live performances:
*****IF ANYONE HAS A VIDEOTAPE OF THIS CONCERT AND CAN HELP WITH THE LAST TEN MINUTES OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE SIGN THE GUESTBOOK!*****
[Applause]
[Music Plays]
[Male Voice speaks about relaxation in background]
[Alanis walks on, off, and on again, carrying a large clear
plastic water bottle with a brownish alcoholic-looking liquid in
it. Throughout the night she acts drunk]
[Alanis performs All
I Really Want]
[Harmonica Solo]
Do I stress you out?
My sweater is on backwards and inside out
And you say how-ee-ow-ee-ow appropriate
I don’t want to dissect everything today
I don’t mean to pick you apart you see
But I ca-ee-aa-ee-a-an’t help it
‘nd there I go jumping before the gunshot has gone off
Slap me with a splintered ruler
And it would knock me to the floor if I wasn’t there already
If only I could hunt the hunter, yeah
And all I really want, is some patience
A way to calm the angry voice woah oh
And all I really want, is deliverance
A-ha-oo-ow-ee-oh-ah-ow yi-ee-oo-ee-ohh
Do I wear you out?
You must wonder why I’m relentless and all strung out
I’m consumed by the chill of solitary
... like Estella
I like to reel it in and then spit 'em out
I’m frustrated by your apathy
And I am frightened by the corrupted ways of this land
If only I could meet the Maker
And I am fascinated by the spiritual man
I am humbled by his humble nature, yeah
And what I wouldn’t give, to find a soulmate
Someone else to catch this drift, woah oh oh oh oh
And what I wouldn’t give to meet a kindred
A-ha-ee-ah-ee-ow-ow yi-ee-oo-oo-ee-ooh
Enough about me, let’s talk about you for a minute
Enough about you, let’s talk about life for a while
The conflicts, the craziness and the sound of pretences
Falling all arou-ee-ou-ound . . . all
a-rou-ee-aye-ee-aye-ee-aye-ee-aye-ee-aye-ee-ou-ou-ound
Why am I so petrified of silence?
Here can you handle this?
[Screams]
Did you think about your bills, your ex, your deadlines
Or when ya think you’re gonna die?
Or did ya long for the next dis-trac-tion
And all I need now is intellectual intercourse
A soul to dig the hole much deeper
And I have no concept of time other than it is flyin'
If only I could kill the killer, well
And all I really want, is some peace man
A place to find a common grou-ou-ee-ah-ah-ound
And all I really want, is a wavelength
A-ha-ee-ah-ee-ow-ow yi-ee ooh-ee-ooh
And all I really want, is some comfort
A way to get my hands untied, aye aye
And all I really want, is some justice . . .
Ha ee ah ee aye aye
Ya ee oh ah ooh ee ooh
[Applause]
[Harmonica solo]
[Applause]
[Spoken:] Thank you very much, hello everybody! [Applause] It's
such an honour bring here tonight with all of you from pieces of
the world all in one place. Bless you all for being here!
[Drinks from her bottle]
[performs Right
Through You]
Wait a minute man
You mispronounced my name
You didn’t wait for all the information
Before ya turned me away
Wait a minute sir
You kinda hurt my feelings
You see me as a sweet back-loaded puppet
And you’ve got meal ticket taste
I see right throu-ou-ou-ou-ough you
I know right throu-ou-ou-ou-ough you-ou-ou-ou
I feel right throu-ou-ou-ou-ough you-ou-ou
I walk right throu-ou-ou-ou-ough you-ou oh oh
Ya da da da di ya do ho oh
You took me for a joke
You took me for a child
You took a long hard look at my ass
And then played golf for a while
Your shake is like a fish
You pat me on the head
You took me out to wine dine 69 me
But didn’t hear a damn word I said
I see right throu-ou-ou-ough you-ou-ou
I walk right throu-ou-ou-ou-ough you-ou-ou-ou
I feel right throu-ou-ou-ou-ough you-ou-ou-ou
I walk right throu-ou-ou-ou-ou-ough you-ou
Oh oh oh
Ya da di um da yo do oh oh oh oh
Ya da da da da da da da ya hi
Hello Mr. Man
You didn’t think I’d come back
You didn’t think I’d show up with my army
And this ammunition on my back
And now that I’m Miss Thi-ing
And now that I’m a zillionaire
Scan the credits for your name
And wonder why it’s not there
I see right throu-ou-ou-ou-ough you
I know right throu-ou-ou-ou-ou-ough you-ou-ou-ou-ou
I feel right throu-ou-ou-ou-ough you-ou-ou-ou
I walk right throu-ou-ou-ou-ou-ough you-ou, you-ou!
[Applause]
[Spoken:] Thank you very much [drinks] You are so beautiful.
Gonna play some new songs tonight, this is a song called
Narcissus
[performs Narcissus:]
Dear momma's boy I know you've had your butt licked by your
mother
I know you've enjoyed all that attention from her
And every woman graced with your presence after
Dear narcissus boy I know you've never really apologized for
anything
I know you've never really taken responsibility
I know you've never really listened to a woman
Dear me-show boy I know you're not really into conflict
resolution
Or seeing both sides of every equation
Or having an uninterrupted conversation
And any talk of healthiness
And any talk of connectedness
And any talk of resolving this
Leaves you running for the door
(Why why do I try to love you
Try to love you when you really don't want me to)
(Why why do I try to love you
Try to love you when you really don't want me to)
Dear egotist boy I know you've never really suffered any
consequence
You've never stayed with anyone longer than ten minutes
You'd never understand anyone showing resistance
Dear popular boy I know you're used to getting everything so
easily
A stranger to the concept of reciprocity
People honour boys like you in our society
And any talk of selflessness
And any talk of working at this
And any talk of being of service
Leaves you running for the door
(Why why do I try to help you try to help you
When you really don't want me to)
(Why why do I try to help you try to help you
When you really don't want me to)
You go back to the women who will dance the dance
You go ba-a-ack to your friends who will lick your ass
You go back to ignoring all the rest of us
You go ba-a-ack to the centre of your universe
Dear magnetic boy, I know you've never stayed with anyone longer
than ten minutes
I know you'd never understand any consequence
You'd never understand anyone showing resistance
Dear magnetic boy, I wonder how you'd be if someone were to call
you on it
I wonder how you'd be if someone were to call you on it
I'd really like it if someone were to finally call you on it
And any talk of willingness
And any talk of both feet in
And any talk of commitment
Leaves you running for the door
(Why why do I try to change you try to
Try to change you when you really don't want me to)
(Why why do I try to change you try to
Try to change you when you really don't want me to)
You go back to the women who will dance the dance
You go ba-a-ack to your friends who will lick your ass
You go back to the centre of your universe
You go back to being so oblivious
[Applause]
[Gives the peace sign to the crowd]
[Drinks]
[Spoken:] This is a song called You Learn and I dedicate it to
you [the audience]
[performs You Learn:]
Hi ow ya oh oh yo
Hi-I recommend getting your heart trampled on, to anyone, yeah,
oh yeah ee ah
I-I-I recommend walking around naked in your living ro-oo-oom,
yeah
Swallow-ow it down (what a jagged little pill)
It feels so good (swimming in your stomach)
Wait u-until the dust se-ee-e-ee-e-ee-ettles
You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lo-ose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you lea-ea-ea-earn, aye ee aye aye
I-I recommend biting off more than you can chew to anyone
I certainly, certainly, certainly do
I-I-I recommend sticking your foot in your mouth at any
ti-e-i-e-ime, oh woah
Feel free!
Throw-ow-ow it down (the caution blocks you from the wi-ind)
Ho-o-old it u-up (to the ray-ays)
You wait and see when the smo-oo-o-oke clears
'Nd you live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lo-ose you lea-earn
You bleed you learn
You scream you lea-ea-ea-ea-earn, aye!
Oy yoy
Hi oh oh oh oh oh oh
Yoy hoy, oy yi!
Yoy yoy oy yoy
Yo do do do do do do
Ya hi yi hi ya yi
Aye aye aye
We-ear it out (the way a three-year-old would do)
Me-elt it dow-own (you’re gonna have to eventually anyway)
The fi-ire trucks are coming up around the be-e-end
You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lo-ose you lea-earn
You pray you learn
You scream you lea-ea-ea-ea-earn, 'nd ea-earn
You grieve you learn
You choke you learn
You laugh you learn
You choo-oose you lea-earn
You pray you learn
You ask you learn
You live you lea-ea-ea-earn
Hoy hoy, oh oh hey
Yo oh oh
[Hops and dances around stage]
[Spins as per usual]
[Falls over]
[Applause]
[Spoken:] Thank you very much [Picks up bottle, brings it with
her to the microphone] This is Mr. David Levita on guitar
[drinks]
[performs A Man:]
I am a man as a man I've been told
Bacon is brought to the house in this mold
Born of your bellies I yearn for the cord
Years I have groveled repentance ignored
And I have been blamed
And I have relented
I'm working my way toward our union mended
I am man who has grown from a son
Been crucified by enraged woman
I am son who was raised by such men
I'm often reminded of the fools I'm among
'Cause I have been blamed
And I have relented
I'm working my way toward our union mended
And I have been shamed
And I have repented
I'm working my way toward our union mended
We don't do well with endless reprima-ee-ands and
We don't do well with a life served as a sentence and
This won't work well if you're hell bent on your offence
'Cause I am a man who understands your resistance
I am a man who still does what he can
To dispel our archaic reputation
'Nd I am a man who still does what he can
'Cause I don't fare well with endless punishment
'Cause I have been shamed and I have relented
I'm working my way toward our union mended
And we have been blamed and we have relented
I'm working my way toward our union mended
We don't do well with endless reprima-ee-ands and
We don't do well with a life served as a sentence and
This won't work well if you're hell bent on your offence
'Cause I am a man who understands your resistance
[Instrumental]
[Applause]
[Spoken:] Thank you. This is Mr. Zac Rae on keyboards
[Applause]
[Brings drink with her to the microphone]
How y'all doing?!! [Applause] [Raises drink to crowd]
Woooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [drinks] I just saw a great woman's
hockey game!!! [Applause] [Raises drink to crowd] I dedicate the
next song to the [Making quotations signs with her fingers]
"winners" and the "losers" [Referring to the
Canadians and Americans in the aforementioned hockey game]... of
all the medals [Holds drink up] ... who've just done a fucking
amazing job training and kicking ass for the last many years and
I give them so much love and so much respect for how much that
takes so this next song is for them!!!!!! [drinks]
[performs
21 Things I Want in a Lover:]
Do you derive joy when someone else succeeds?
Do you not play dirty when engaged in competition?
D'ya have a big intellectual capacity but know that it alone does
not equate wisdom?
D'ya see everything as an illusion?
But enjoy it even though you are not of it?
Are you both masculine and feminine?
Politically aware?
And don't believe in capital punishment?
These are twenty-one things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
Do you derive joy from diving in and seeing that loving someone
can actually feel like freedom?
Are you funny?
À la self-deprecating?
Like adventure?
And have many formèd opinions?
These are twenty-one things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter
These are twenty-one things I choose to choose in a lover
I'm in no hurry I could wait forever
I'm in no rush 'cause I like being solo
There are no worries and certainly no pressure
In the meantime I'll live like there's no-o tomorrow
Are you uninhibited in bed?
More than three times a week?
Up for being experimental?
Are you athletic?
Are you thriving in a job that helps your brother?
Are you not addicted?
These are twenty-one things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter
These are twenty-one things I choose to choose in a lover
[Applause]
[Spoken:] Thank you very much!
[Drinks]
[Heads back towards microphone aiming to her left of it, misses
it, goes back, finds it, goes to it]
[performs You
Oughta Know:]
I want you to know, that I’m happy for you
And I wish nothing but, the best for you both
An older version of me
Is she perverted like me?
Would she go down on you in a theatre?
Does she speak eloquently?
And would she have your baby?
I’m sure she’d make a really excellent mother
‘Cause the love that you gave that we made
Wasn’t able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no!
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how ya told me you’d hold me
Until you died, ‘til you died
But you’re still alive
And I’m here, to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It’s not fair, to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know
You seem very well, things look peaceful
I’m not quite as well, I thought you should know
Did you forget about me, Mr. Du-plicity?
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
But it was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced
‘nd are you thinking of me when you fuck her?
‘Cause the love that you gave that we made
Wasn’t able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no!
And every time ya speak her name
Does she know how you told me you’d hold me
Until you died, ‘til ya died, but you’re still alive!
And I’m here, to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It’s not fair, to deny me
Of the cross I bear thatchya gave to me
You, you, you oughta know
[Winces at the sound of a funky, vibrating bass beat, seemingly
in pain]
[Instrumental break, with Alanis doing a long moan]
‘Cause the joke thatchya laid in the bed that was me
And I’m not gonna fade
As soon as you close your eyes, and you know it!
And everytime I scratch my nails down someone else’s back
I hope you feel it . . . well can ya feel it?!
Well I’m here, to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It’s not fa-air, to deny me
Of the cross I bear thatchya gave to me
You, you, you oughta know
Why I’m here, to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It’s not fa-air, to deny me
Of the cross I bear thatchya gave to me
You, you, you oughta know-ow!
[Applause]
[Spoken:] Thank you [drinks] You guys [the audience] are killin'
me!!! This is a song called So Unsexy
[performs So Unsexy:]
Oh these little rejections how they add up quickly
One small sideways look and I feel so ungood and
Somewhere along the way I think I gave you the power to make
Me feel the way I thought only my father could
Oh these little rejections how they seem so real to me
One forgotten birthday I'm all but coo-ooked 'nd
How these little abandonments seem to sting so easily
I'm thirteen again am I thirteen for good? Yeah
I can feel so unsexy for someone so-o beautiful
So unlovèd for someone so fine
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting
So ignorant for someone of sound mind yeah
Oh these little protections how they fail to serve me
One forgotten phone call and I'm deflated and
How these little defenses how they fail to serve me
Your hand pulling away and I'm devastated
I can feel so unsexy for someone so-o beautiful
So unlovèd for someone so boring
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting
So ignorant for someone of sound mind
When will I stop leaving baby-y-y?
When will I stop deserting baby-y-y?
When will I start staying with myself?
Oh these little projections how they keep springing from me
I jump my ship as I take it personally and
How these little rejections how they disappear quickly
The moment I decide not to abandon me yeah
I can feel so unsexy for someone so-o beautiful
So unlovèd for someone so fine
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting
So ignorant for someone of sound mind yeah
I can feel so unsexy for someone so-o beautiful
So unlovèd for someone so fine
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting
So ignorant for someone of sound mind yeah
[Applause]
[Music stops]
[Continues to dance]
[Finally stops dancing]
[Spoken:] Thank you very much. This is Mr. Eric Avery on bass
[drinks] This is a song called Head Over Feet
[performs Head Over
Feet:]
Da da dee yi
Ha ah oh no oy
I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
'Nd I thought about it
You treat me like, I’m a princess
And I’m not used to liking tha-e-a-at
'Nd you ask how my day was
You’ve already won me ove-er in spite of me
Don’t be alarmed if fa-a-a-a-all head over feet
‘nd don’t be surprised if I love you-ou-ou for all that
you are
'Cause I couldn’t help it
It’s all your fault
And your love is thick and it swallowed me whole
And you’re so much braver than I give you credit fo-or
And that’s not lip service
You’ve already won me ove-er in spite of me
And don’t be alarmed if fa-a-a-a-all head over feet
And don’t be surprised if I love you-ou-ou for all that you
are
'Cause I couldn’t help i-it
It’s all your fau-ault
And you are the bearer of unconditional things
And you held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience
[Instrumental/Harmonica break]
You’re the best listeners that I’ve ever met
You’re my best friend
Best friend with benefits
'Nd what took me so-o lo-ong?
And I’ve never felt this healthy before
And I’ve never wa-anted something rational
And I am aware now
I swear to God I am I think
I am aware now
You’ve already won me ove-er, in spite of me
And don’t be alarmed if fa-a-a-a-all head over fee-eet
And don’t be surprised if I love you-ou-ou for all that you
a-a-are
I couldn’t help i-it
It’s all your fau-ault
La lie aye, ya ha hi, yi hi yi, ho oh
Ooh ee ooh, ee yoo hoo, oh do ooh oh 'nd ah hee ah ee are yi
Oh oh ho, ya ha hi, ya ha hi hi
[Harmonica solo]
[Spoken:] Yoo!!!! Thank you! Bless you! Blair Sinta on drums.
[drinks] You all okay out there? [Applause] You warm enough?
Stick your hands in your friends' pockets! [Laughter] This is a
song called Hands Clean
[performs Hands Clean:]
If it weren't for your maturity none of this would've happened
If you weren't so wise beyond your years I would've been able to
control myself and
If it weren't for my attention you wouldn't have been successful
and if
If it weren't for me you would never have amounted to very much
Ooh this could be messy but
You-ou don't seem to mi-ind and
Ooh don't go telling everybody and
Overlook this supposèd crime
We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honoured your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this
You're essentially an employee and I like you having to depend on
me and
You're a kind of a protégé and one day you'll say you learned
all you know from me and
I know you depend on me like a young thing would to a guardian
I know how you sexualize me like a young thing would and I think
I like it
Ooh this could get messy
But you-ou don't seem to mi-ee-i-ind and
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposèd cri-ime
We'll fast forward to a few years later and
No one knows except the both of us
And I have honoured your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this
What part of our history's reinvented and under rug swept?
What part of your memory is selective and tends to forget?
What with this distance it seems so obvious?
Just make sure you don't tell on me especially to members of your
family and
We best keep this to ourselves and not tell any members of our
inner posse and
I wish I could tell the world 'cause you're such a pretty thing
when you're done up properly and
I might want to marry you one day if you watch that weight and
you keep your firm body
Ooh this could get messy but
You-ou don't seem to mi-ind and
Ooh don't go tellin' everybody
And overlook this supposèd cri-ime
We'll fast forward to a few years later and
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honoured your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this
Ooh this could get messy but
Ooh I don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go tellin' everybody
And overlook this supposèd cri-ime
We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honoured your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this
Oh ooh oh ah
Oh oh ah ho oh
Ho oh oh
[Applause]
[Spoken:] Thank you! [drinks] Thank you so much for being her
tonight you're all troopers, I love you! [Applause] And finally,
Jason Orme on guitar!
[performs Ironic:]
Hey yi yi ya yi yi ya ya oh
An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery-y, died the next day
It’s a black fly in your Chardonnay-ay-ay
It’s a death ro-ow pardon two minutes too late
And isn’t it ironic . . . don’t you think?
It’s like rai-ee-ain on your wedding day
It’s a free-ee ride when you’ve already paid
It’s the good advi-ee-i-ice that you just didn’t take
And who would’ve thought? . . . it figures
Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his su-u-uitcase, kissed his kids good-bye-ee-ye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
“Well isn’t this nice. . .”
And isn’t it ironic. . . don’t you think?
It’s like rai-ee-ain on your wedding day
It’s a free-ee ride when you’ve already paid
It’s the good advi-ee-i-ice that you just didn’t
ta-ee-ake
And who would’ve thought . . . it figures
Well life has a funny way, of sneaking up on ya
When you think everything’s okay and everything’s going
ri-ee-i-ee-i-ee-i-ight
And yeah well life has a funny way, of helping you out when
You think everything’s gone wrong and everything blows up
In your fa-a-ace
Traffic jam when you’re already late
A no-smo-oo-oking sign on your cigarette break
It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It’s meeting the man of my dreams
And meeting his beautiful wife
And isn’t it ironic... don’t you think?
A little too-oo-oo-oo-oo ironic ... and yeah I really do think...
It’s like rai-ee-ain on your wedding day
It’s a free-ee ride when you’ve already paid
It’s the good advi-ee-i-ice that you just didn’t
ta-ee-ake
And who would’ve thought . . . it figu-ures
Ya da di, ya ya yi, yi ooh, ee ya do oh oh
Ya da di yi yi yi yi ya hi yi
[Applause]
[Spoken:] Thank you very much everyone I love you g'night!
[Leaves Stage]
[Applause]
[Returns to stage a minute later]
Thank you so much, you guys rock! Wooo!!!!!!!!! This is a song
called Precious Illusions
[performs Precious
Illusions:]
You'll rescue me right? In the exact same way they never did..
I'll be worthy right? When your healing powers kick in
You'll complete me right? Then my life can finally begin
I'll be happy right? Only when you realize the gem I am?
But this won't work now the way it once did
And I won't keep it up even though I would love to
Once I know who I'm not then I'll know who I am
But I know I won't keep on playing the victim
These precious illusions in my head did not let me down when I
was defenseless
And parting with them is like parting with invisible best friends
This ring will help me yet as will you knight in shining
armou-ou-ou-our
This pill will help me yet as will these boys gone through like
water
But this won't work as well as the way it once did
'Cause I want to decide between survival and bliss
Though I know who I'm not I still don't know who I am
But I know I won't keep on playing the victim
These precious illusions in my head did not let me down when I
was a kid
And parting with them is like parting with a childhood best
frie-ee-iend
I've spent so long firmly looking outside me
I've spent so much time living in survi-i-i-i-ival mo-o-ode
This won't work now the way it once did
And I want to decide between survival and bliss
Though I know who I'm not I still don't know who I am
But I know I wont' keep on playing the victim
These precious illusions in my head did not let me down when I
was defenseless
And parting with them is like parting with invisible best
frie-ee-iends
These precious illusions in my head did not let me down when I
was a kid
And parting with them is like parting with a childhood best
friend
Ooh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Ha oh oh oh oh
[Alanis then went on to perform Thank U. If anyone has the
complete tape of this show and is able to help transcribe the
remainder, please sign
the guestbook. The owner/operator of
Thank U Alanis Morissette, due to unforeseen circumstances, was
unable to get the entire show on tape. Thank U in advance]
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