Please note that the following section "Just For Kids" is based on 
            (and portions of the layout and text were taken from)
            the National Association for Children of Alcoholics (NACoA) 
            publication "Kit For Kids.", which appears on their web site page 
            "Just for Kids".
            Hi kids,  
            Is there something wrong in your family? Does your family have a 
            secret you're not supposed to tell anyone? Does your mom or dad 
            drink too many beers or spend too much time at the bar? Do your 
            parents yell at each other? Do you sometimes fall asleep crying, 
            wishing your mom or dad would just stop drinking? Does your mom or 
            dad sometimes not come home?  
            I want to tell you another secret - you are not alone. BOTH of my 
            parents drink too much.  
            Doctors have a big long word for this. They call it - Alcoholism 
            (You say it like this: al-co-haul-izm). And people who have 
            alcoholism are called alcoholics.  
            If your mom or dad is an alcoholic, we already have a lot in common. 
            We both love our parents and wish they would stop drinking. We both 
            hear our parents say bad things to each other and us. We both want 
            someone to come and help our mom and dad. We both sometimes feel 
            alone or scared.  
            You aren't the only one with an alcoholic parent. There are a lot of 
            us here.  
            But now, I want to tell you some things about alcoholism that I wish 
            someone had told me when I was confused and scared by how my parents 
            were acting. Maybe these things will help you understand a little 
            bit better, and maybe you won't blame yourself the next time your 
            parents drink too much.  
            Alcoholism is a disease. Your alcoholic parent is not a bad person; 
            they have a disease that makes them lose control when drinking. 
            Alcohol does that; when you drink too much, you do and say things 
            that you normally wouldn't. The disease makes them do mean or stupid 
            things that they would not do if they didn't drink.  
            You can't control your parent's drinking or stop it. It is not your 
            fault. Don't hide the bottle or try to be perfect; you can't do 
            anything about your parent's drinking. You are not the reason why 
            your parent drinks. You did not cause the disease.  
            You are not alone. There are lots of kids just like you and me. I'll 
            bet there are some kids in your class that you would never think of 
            might have a parent who drinks like yours.  
            You can talk about the problem. Find someone you trust who will talk 
            to you. It could be a teacher, a friend's parent, a big brother or 
            sister, or someone else who will listen to you. These are the 'safe 
            people' in your life. Also, there is a group for kids called 
            "Alateen". This group has meetings, like a club, and the kids there 
            share tips on how to make their lives easier. Some schools have 
            Alateen meetings on the school grounds during the day or after 
            school. Maybe your teacher could help you find one. Or, you could 
            look for the phone number of Alateen in the phone book or call 
            directory assistance and ask for the number. Alateen also has a web 
            site you can visit.  
            Tom Chaplin,  
            A son of alcoholics 
    
    
            Here are some questions you might be asking:
            What is alcoholism?  
            Alcoholism is a disease. People who have the disease have lost 
            control over their drinking and are not able to stop without help. 
            They also lose control over how they act when they have been 
            drinking and say or do things they don't mean.  
              
            If mom or dad have the disease, can I get it?  
            Well, alcoholism isn't like a cold. You can't "catch" alcoholism 
            from someone. However, you will need to be careful when you grow up 
            because children of alcoholics have a greater chance of becoming an 
            alcoholic than other kids. Don't let that frighten you. Most 
            children of alcoholics grow up to live alcoholism-free lives. Just 
            use common sense when it comes to YOUR drinking.  
            If my mom or dad is sick why don't they just see a doctor?  
            Most alcoholics don't know they have a problem or don't want to 
            believe it. Alcoholics like to blame other people, or their job, or 
            their spouse, or even their kids. But, really, it's the alcohol 
            that's the biggest problem.  
            How does alcoholism start?  
            No one knows all the reasons why people become alcoholics. Some 
            start out drinking a little and end up drinking a lot. Others use 
            alcohol to drown their problems. Once a person loses control over 
            drinking, they need help to stop.  
            Is there an "average" alcoholic?  
            No. Anyone can be an alcoholic - old, young, man, woman, neighbor, 
            parent, spouse or friend.  
            Is there a cure for alcoholism?  
            Sadly, no. Some people learn that they have a problem and stop 
            drinking through the help of others, but some people never stop. 
            Because there is no cure, alcoholics who have stopped are said to be 
            "recovering" because they never fully recover. Recovering alcoholics 
            can lead healthy, happy, productive lives.  
            Can family members make an alcoholic stop drinking?  
            No. It is important to know that an alcoholic needs help to stop 
            drinking, but no one can be forced to accept the help, no matter how 
            hard you try or what you do. It is also important to know that 
            family members by themselves cannot provide the help that an 
            alcoholic needs. An alcoholic needs the help of people trained to 
            treat the disease, and they need to want to get that help.  
            Are there any other kids like me?  
            YES! More than you can count.  
            I know I can't make my mom or dad stop drinking, so what can I do to 
            make myself feel better?  
            Talk to someone you trust about the problem. Talk to a teacher, a 
            close friend, a grandparent, a coach, or a school counselor. 
            Sometimes, just talking to someone about your problems really helps. 
            Also, there is a group for kids who have alcoholic parents called 
            "Alateen". Alateen has meetings, like a club, and the kids share 
            tips on how to make life easier. You can look for the phone number 
            of Alateen in the phone book or call directory assistance for the 
            number of Alateen. Alateen also has a web page you can visit. There 
            are many resources available to you and some of them are listed at 
            the bottom of this page. 
    
    
            Here are some dos and don'ts for you:
            talk about how you feel. You can talk with a safe person in your 
            life - maybe a close friend, relative, school counselor, teacher, 
            minister, or others. Sharing your feelings is not being mean to your 
            family. When you talk to someone, you might feel less alone. Talking 
            to someone about your feelings can help you feel less alone.  
            try to get involved in doing enjoyable things at school or near 
            where you live. Doing these types of activities can help you forget 
            about the problems at home, and you could learn new things about 
            yourself and about how other people live their lives.  
            remember that feeling afraid and alone is a normal way to feel when 
            you live with alcoholic parents. It's confusing to hate the disease 
            of alcoholism at the same time that you love your alcoholic parent. 
            All people have confusing feelings: two different feelings at the 
            same time. This is the way many kids feel about alcoholic parents.  
            remember to have fun! Sometimes children with alcoholic families 
            worry so much that they forget how to be "just a kid." If things are 
            bad at home, you might not have anyone who will help you have fun, 
            but don't let that stop you. Find a way to let yourself have fun.  
            ride in a car when the driver has been drinking if you can avoid it. 
            It is not safe. Walk or try to get a ride with an adult friend who 
            has not been drinking. If your parents are going out to drink 
            somewhere, try not to go with them. If you must get in a car with a 
            drinking driver, sit in the back seat in the middle. Lock your door. 
            Put on your safety belt. Try to stay calm.  
            think that because your parent is an alcoholic you will be one too. 
            Most children of alcoholics do not become alcoholics themselves.  
            pour out or try to water down your parent's alcohol. The plain fact 
            is that it won't work. You have no control over the drinking. You 
            didn't make the problem start, and you can't make it stop. It is up 
            to your parent to get treatment. What your parent does is not your 
            responsibility or your fault.  
            think that your alcoholic parent has stopped loving you. They love 
            you very much, but may be too sick to tell you as often as they 
            should. Sometimes, you have to give yourself a hug and say it was 
            from mom or dad. 
    
      

             
            REMEMBER the Seven "C"s
             
            I didn't CAUSE it.
             
            I can't CURE it.
             
            I can't CONTROL it.
             
            I can take CARE of myself.
             
            By COMMUNICATING my feelings,
             
            Making healthy CHOICES, and
             
            By CELEBRATING myself.
             
            You're a special person, too.
             
            
            Other resouces you can use:
            You can take this list to the library, and ask the librarian if they 
            have any of these books. If they don't, you might ask if the books 
            are at another library. If the books are, sometimes the librarian 
            can get an "inter-library" loan for you. (Ordering information is 
            for adults only.) 
            Different like Me: A Book for Teens Who Worry about Their Parents' 
            Use of Alcohol - Drugs. Evelyn Leite, Pamela Espeland: Johnson 
            Institute, 1989. Most parents today are worried that their children 
            might use alcohol or other drugs. But what about the kids who are 
            worried about their parents? Order it here. 
            What You Should Know about a Parent Who Drinks Too Much. William L. 
            Coleman: Augsburg Fortress Publishers, Publishing House of The 
            Evange, 1992. Writing for children ages eight to twelve and their 
            parents, Coleman frankly and sensitively deals with the difficulties 
            families have when a parent has a drinking problem. Coleman offers 
            practical advice, reminding readers that God cares for them and is 
            always with them. Order it here. 
            When Someone in the Family Drinks Too Much: A Guide for Children. 
            Richard Langsen, Nicole Rubel (Illustrator): Dial Books for Young 
            Readers, 1996. In this easy-to-understand book for young children, 
            Richard Langsen writes about one of the nation's most debilitating 
            diseases. Nicole Rubel's illustrations add subtle huimor to help 
            ease fears that children might have about this illness. Here is a 
            book that will help young readers in understanding their own 
            feelings and give them valuable information for guidance and 
            support. Full color. Order it here. 
            Dear Kids of Alcoholics. Lindsey Hall, L. Hall, Leigh Cohn, Rosemary 
            E. Lingenfelter (Illustrator): Gurze Books, 1988. A young boy 
            imparts facts about alcoholism by discussing his father's 
            sensitivity to alcohol, his destructive behavior, and his recovery 
            process. Order it here. 
            Brown Bottle: A Fable for Children of All Ages. Penny Jones, Center 
            City, MN: Hazelden Foundation, 1983. Story of Charlie the 
            caterpillar who leaves the caterpillar kingdom to follow the glow of 
            the brown bottle. Order it here. 
            The Cat Who Drank Too Much. LeClair Bissell and Richard Watherwax. 
            Bantam, CT: Bibulophile Press, 1982. A story of a kitten that was 
            obsessed with drinking, reflecting the behavior and feelings of many 
            alcoholics. Order it here. 
            An Elephant in the Living Room, The Children's Book. M.H. Typpo and 
            J.M. Hastings Minneapolis, MN: Compcare Publications, 1984. A 
            program designed to help children from seven years to early 
            adolescence cope with the problems of living with a problem drinking 
            or drug-abusing parent or sibling. The leader's guide is primarily 
            for adults working with children in groups. The children's book uses 
            a workbook format with line drawings. Order it here. 
            My Dad Loves Me, My Dad has a Disease. Claudia Black. Denver, CO: 
            M.A C. Printing, 1979. A book designed to help young children learn 
            about themselves, their feelings, and the disease of alcoholism in 
            their families through art therapy. Children between the ages of six 
            and fourteen share what it is like for them to live in an alcoholic 
            family. Order it here. 
            Something's Wrong in My House. Katherine Leiner. New York: Franklin 
            Watts, 1988. About domestic violence and alcoholism and how it 
            affects children. Acknowledges the universal feelings of fear, 
            anger, and hopelessness, and looks for ways to cope. Order it here. 
              
            Remember that these calls won't cost your mom or dad anything 
            because they have an area code of "800". Be sure to dial the "1" 
            first.  
            Al-Anon/Alateen Hotline (for friends, family and alcoholics) 
            1-800-344-2666  
            National Association for Children of Alcoholics 1-888-55-4COAS  
            Alcohol/Drug Abuse Hotline 1-800-333-4444  
            Child Abuse Hotline 1-800-422-4453  
            Mental Health InfoSource 1-800-447-4474  
            National Domestic Violence Hotline  
            1-800-799-SAFE  
            National Institute of Mental Health  
            1-888-ANXIETY  
            National Runaway Switchboard and Suicide Hotline 1-800-621-4000  
            National Youth Crisis Hotline 1-800-448-4663  
            Runaway Hotline 1-800-231-6946  
            Suicide & Crisis Hotline 1-800-999-9999  
            TalkZone (Peer Counselors) 1-800-475-TALK  
            Teen Helpline 1-800-400-0900  
            TeenLine 1-800-522-8336  
            Youth Crisis Hotline 1-800-422-0009  
            Boystown National Hotline 1-800-448-3000  
            CHILDHELP USA Child Abuse Hotline 1-800-422-4453  
              
             
            
                    Al-Anon & Alateen
                    Drinking: A Student's Guide
                    Teen Voice - Drinking & Teens
                    Students Against Drugs and Alcohol
                    Alcoholics Anonymous
                    Alcohol Concern (England)
                    Association for Children of Alcoholics
                    The Mining Company - Alcoholism
                    The Unofficial ACOA Page (Adult Children of Alcoholics)
                    ----------------Other Resources------------------
                    PAL - Peer Advisement League for Teens
                    Assoc. of Recovering Abuse Survivors and Offenders
                    NotVictims!
                    Relationship Survival Guide
                    Psychological Self-Help
                    Self-Help & Psychology Magazine
                    The WholeFamily Center
                    Psych Central
                    Voices of Depression
                    The Natural Child Project
            
            Select a link and...  
             
             
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