Theo Verelst Wanted page

There are some people who I more or less instensively and intimately have been with in the past that I can't reach at the moment, and some of my other pages can give some clear indication of the possible reasons for that, but who I would very much like to be in touch with again. Considereing the situation I'm only now getting a little bit of tangible evidance for has existed for a long time in my life already, some contacts go back guite some years. I presume that some computerized people can provide some possibly indirect links to them, so this seems at least a reasonable starting point to try to restart some contact, this time with at least some ideas of what actually may have been the case with some of the people I was lucky to spent time with.
I realize that most of the information on this page os of a very personal nature, but since various people have already deemed it legitimate to peek into and distribute widely significant information stolen from every personal belonging I have, I guess that won't be too much of a difference. Besides, I have nothing to hide (I think). Can one put himself so naked on the internet? Remember a woman who scorned David for dancing naked got infertile as a punishment of God ... (if you believe in Him at all, otherwise just consider me a touch excentric with good motivation).

If some of the people I write about feel indignified because of a breach of privacy I apologize and suggest a fast message in the guestbook or over email to get their names and things they shared with me of this page. Again, I only want to be in touch with some people I loved again, and see no more efficient, and broadly scoped (some are from abroad) way of doing it.

What does he think he is doing?

More history and thoughts

Please provide me with any possible pointer to these persons!

Ingrid Vos

I want to add a dired remark here, at least for my beta (dutch term) brain, there are people that I believe of have also been near me for reasons outside the mere human, i.e. where the God I claim to want to follow has had a definite, positive and complete say in, and I belief that with her that is the case, just as with some others mentioned on this page. I want to clarify this, because in itself this makes me uneasy, does God mean for people to be together? Quite probably, but actually saying this is the case for such and such person could be anything between proposterous, dangerously manipulative, killing of human feelings, or rare confirmation. And forces a christian side to a relationship that for me at the time I met her was not an option, I simply didn't consider the possibility. Since I claim to be in line with the fundaments of my faith, which I with much emphasis repeat does NOT mean it is in line with the average chrisianity and means it is open for every kind of public testing, this factor does play a crucial role, and in fact inplicates that when she was (partwise) also near to me at the time I met her, because of reasons of fatih and possibly told to be so through profesies (I wasn't even remotely aware of, and still can only think about), or by personal conviction, I may have made a grave, essential, high impact, incredibly harmfull error by telling her I didn't want to have more than an ordinary student home relationship with her simply to give things time, not provole jealousies, and to give her time to adapt to a new environment (with a fairly noticable age difference). And as I see it now, I did. And regret it very much.

Just to make things clear here, I had no evil intent, and it would have been possible to wait until later occasion (which she didn't), but considerig what must have been the horribly abuse situation she came from and must have continued in, I find it hard to express the sorry I feel for that. Some more remarks are in order since I find this a highly sensitive subject and want to prevent misunderstandings. When there is a claim that God intents two people to be together, the source of that claim must be scrutinized, because of the large impact. Furthermore, it is quite possible, and unfortunately likely, that very malicious, abuse people also abuse (tested) utterances and knowledge like that to present someone like Ingrid as bate to bring destruction to the other person in the relation. Ingrid is strong and certainly intelligent enough to not only know this, but to apply that knowledge to prevent that from happening. But that doesn't necessarily mean that all is according to God's will (what a abused expression that is, somehow I hate it, but not if it is actually that), and it couldn't have been, since I wasn't out there to search His will. Does that mean I broke the law? Actually I lived quite honorably, and probably cannot even be accused of seriously breaking even one the ten commandments or their derivatives, I challenge other christians to show such a holy (in the non-stupid, actual sense of the word) life as I had, and I certainly have showed tons of fruits of love. Unfortunately, to the wrong people.
But in terms of His will I appearently have miserably failed in some aspects, beacuse if some girls would have meant close to heaven to me it would have been Melinda or Ingrid or Josette, and if with some it would have been natural and even easy to also have a close emotional (in fact in serious respects I did have that with Ingrid for a long time) and a sexual relation ot would have been with them, apart from my complete failure to understand why some sides of the contact were so strangly evasive. And it would have made a profound difference for all parties involved. I can't judge myself for having made a serious error in terms of just or appropriate bahaviour, but having been run out christianity without a clue certainly has made some people's lives miserable. In I've started to suspect that the situtation around me in university and with a lot of so called christian activity s not much different. People forget that ministries and desired relationships are not up for the bidding, and are completely connected with the intended persons and can absulotely not be taken by someone else. When this (especially for malicious reasons) happens anyway, the results and the resulting grieve and suffering can be horrible, and I am realy sorry for the part of that which I quite probably have contributed, or at least not prevented. I hope the people who have denied me the appropriate knowledge and lied to others relying on that knowledge that they did inform me, are at least similarly sorry, and try to make up for the results.

I've reently digged up an email address, and hop this message will do to restart tangible communication.

Melinda de Meij

Tal Ben Zvi (IL)

I short, the rest of the story is that we went over Orleans (where we found our first hotel), to Paris, stayed there a few weeks visiting amoung other things a lot of art exhibitions (she was an art/geography major), lived in a borrowed tent, and visited someone I knew from a popmusic workshop in a small village in the north of France. After she hitch hiked to London, I returned to Holland to arrange some work affairs, and we were aware of the difficulties of continuing the relationship, since Israel is both for away from Holland and from the US, where I wanted to go.

After some not so easy phonecalls (for probably a whole lot more profound reasons than I was arare of, because why would she have such great difficulty traveling along to my home?), I decided to go to London, where we could stay in a friend's appartment for another few weeks, and spent most time together, and some with the girl who lived there visiting and going out in various places in London and Cambridge.

The at that point hard ending was, that we agreed to travel some more to Berlin or Prague (using my car again, and after some financial arrangements), buit she backed out on that, by telling me right before the metro entrance, knowing I had to catch my bus back for university matters, that she didn't want to go on any more at all. From someone with who only several days before an important issue was wether or not she was pregnant, and what to possibly do about that (those condoms weren't for nothing), that is quite a cold shower. In addition to that, she had told me that so stopped taking the pill before going on holyday (where we met) because she wanted to break up with her boyfriend (with who she more or less shared an appartment at the time), a motivation that struck me as at least a bit akward, and when she phoned with him she seemed to be quite unhappy, but she seemed not at all to want to quit the relationship, and in fat she alluded to the question of what to do next by not at all excluding the possibility that she would continue with him. Not wanting to continue, even on holyday, with me seemed like a clear choice.

Remember that I didn't have a clue as to the real reasons for a lot of behaviour, also when she wrote me that she didn't love enough to go on (which was rather a contrast with her wanting to meet later in the US as I would getr there, and with her own drive to persue the relation in the first place), and that I also didn't understand her difficulties with me coming to Israel, which on my later salary would have been very easy, first she seemed to want to draw me by making clear academics in Israel meet high standards, later she ade clear she didn't want me there because of the dangerous circumstances.

In short, I realize a lot more must have been going on, and I gather that as a results of lies and fears she me not have been very nive to me behind my back (to put it eufemistically), which I will immedeately forgive her, if she would only answer my letters and other inquiries by email (for now at least).

She made sculpture, a variation on Rodin's thinker one may say, but than in a back-bent form, with fairly clear meaning. She could correct that, at most times I guess when she wasn't affraid (see above, and simply because of the fact that my spiritual communication amounted to no more than "gut-feeling"). Not many people can have the intensity and match what I need when looking at me as she did on various occasions, such as some of the dinners we had, never mind they were cheap pizzeria's.

Andrea Schwyter (CH)

Parce que je sais qu'lle etait aprrenant de l'anglais quand je la racontrais, peut etre c'est joli the traduir ce passage an francais (C'est bein for ma francais et son anglais).
Je la racontrais a une party the nouveaux annee a Amsterdam, et quand a ce temps, je avait eu ma morale (?) christienne de 4 ans devant, j'avais eu besoin de etre perdonne pour me dormir avex quelqeu un aux premier nuit. Heureusement je peut simplement observe que c'etait une de les plus bien choses qui ce sont passe (par consent et choisir de tout les deux) et il y a commence une relation dans qui je, depuis quelque temps, ai ete tres heureuse avec sa companie dans ma et sa maison en suisse. Je voulet la ammener aux Etas Unies, quand je arrivai la, mais a ce temp tout ensemble etais un peu trop dur pour elle, et enfin quand je la visitais il I a quelque annees, nous avions plus les meme sentiments, et sa ce montrais que nous nous sentions les deux moins ou plus la meme, mais sans avoir une relation continue (emotionelle et sexuelle), q'etais desire par moi.
Je croyet que c'etais tout trop trop pour elle, elle travaillait comme physio-therapiste, et probabilement voulet une enterprise de sa meme, et rouler le distance Bienne-Hollande deux fois en weekend et donne de consideration a faire un emigration (pour quelque annees) n'etait pas exactement une extension logique en comparison de vivre en Bienne.
Il y a quelque annees, quand je la contactais en espirit, que ca devienait horriblement clair que beacoup plus c'etais passe que simplement choisir pour ou contre continuer ce relation, quand elle pensait "ton pere est un criminel". Plus recente, j'ai essaye de la metrer une lettre mais c'etais retourne, je crois que trop beacoup se passait a ce moment, mais j'ai un numero de telephone que je vais essayer quand j'ai de succes a obtenir une carte de telephone et quand ca sent bien.
Une bien temp pour recouperir en Suise n'a pas l'air de etre tres loin d'un peux de paradix pour moi. Je me demande pourqoui on parle seulement de plaisir de se lever avec quelque-un aimee, je ne voyet pas les autres temps d'etre dans le meme lit comme moins agreable.

Lisa (Lamree ?)

Josette Peijnenborg

She played a major part in a time when I was forming myself artistically (or just in a way completely contrary to the acedemic environment I felt squeezed into?), after having effectively abandoned my faith and left my parents home to be free of some boundaries I felt were very much restraining me, and I probably for the first onger lasting period in my life felt sufficiently free and provided with sufficent soundboard to do that in a way that satisfied me, and that could give me a space to fit. Ingrid affected that in a major way, at the same time I knew and played in bands with Josette, but in terms of expression and relating personally Josette had a far more major role and I thought at the time. I found that out only later, simply put when I missed her. I thought the music did so much, but wen she was gone, music was still fine, but what I liked and valued so much was gone.

Wendy Hoff (currently ?)

Marion Knoester

Andreas Pruess (DE)

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