Men & Women of the
MASH? That's one of those
traveling medicine shows, isn't it? -- Charles
Every time he tickles those
ivories, the entire elephants' graveyard turns over. -- Charles about Father
Mulcahy playing piano.
Carbon paper in the safe --
what brilliant foresight! In only 2000 years it will turn into diamonds! --
Ah, Klinger, my constant reminder that Darwin was right! -- Charles
...but know this. You can cut me off from the civlised world. You can
incarcerate me with two moronic cellmates. You can torture me with your thrice
daily swill, but you cannot break the spirit of a Winchester. My voice shall be
heard from this wilderness and I shall be delivered from this fetid an festering
sewer. -- Charles
I'll be Head of Thoracic Surgery at Boston Mercy Hospital. So my life will go on
pretty much as I expected. With one exception. For me, music has always been a
refuge from this miserable experience, and now it will always be a reminder. --
Charles's first impressions of the 4077th: Charming place. An inflamed boil on
the buttocks of the world. What is that odour?
Radar: North wind: cesspool. East wind: latrine.
Charles: The wind is from the south.
Radar: Oh, that's the kitchen.
Charles: Get me Tokyo General!
Radar: What, on the phone?
Charles: No, open the window and yell!
Hawkeye, finding a snake in his bed: Clever. Very clever.
Charles: Please. Mozart.
Hawkeye, as Charles drinks from his bottle of hair tonic: Charles, you're
drinking your hair!
Charles: Don't be ridiculous. This is twelve-year-old Scotch. You don't think
I'd leave this is in the original bottle around you petty larcenists, do you?
Hawkeye, horrified: Uuuuuh! I've been drinking from his Scotch bottle!!!
Charles: Hunnicutt, I have met
a lot of people in my life. You are not among them.
Winchester: Even Winchester women do not do women's work
Clay: Can I call you Chuck?
Winchester: You can, but I wish you wouldn't.
Charles: Hunnicut, when people share a tent for such a long time, they can
become quite close. Of course, that didn't happen in our case.
Charles: I'm sure Sergeant
Rizzo will find me another mode.
Rizzo: I'll go take a look, but we ain't got too many modes left,
Charles: What better way to leave a garbage dump?