Men & Women of the
Flagg: Let me tell you
something. I have a complete record on you. I know every move you make,
everything there is to know about you, so watch your step, Hunnicut!
Hawkeye: I'm Pierce!
Flagg: Fine. You want to call yourself Pierce, I can play that game too.
Potter: Making yourself at home, Flagg?
Flagg: I have no home. I'm the wind.
Hawkeye to B.J.: I told you he was the wind. You said he was the stars!
B. J.: No, I said he was the moon!
Hawkeye on Flagg: The wind just broke its leg.
Nobody can get the truth out
of me because even I don't know what it is. I keep myself in a constant state of
utter confusion. -- Col. Flagg
Flagg: I can find anything.
Hawkeye: Can you find my virginity? I lost it twenty years ago, haven't seen it
...it's the duty of every real American to be on the
lookout for goldbricks, pinko's and fellow travelers. 'Course without the likes
of Americans like you the jobs of Americans like me would be a lot more
difficult. But don't get me wrong, Americans like me like difficult jobs. So
don't get the idea you're doing the CIA any favors. We don't really need
Americans like you, we don' need anybody. -- Flagg
Flagg: Okay, pipsqueak, what tipped you off?
Radar: Well, you don't look anything like you, sir, and since you're a master of
disguises, I figured you were the only one who couldn't look like you that much.
Flagg: I'll buy that, for now. But if you ever cross me up, you're gonna get a
Radar: What's that?
Flagg: Have you ever heard of the Malaysian Chest Implosion torture?
Radar: No, sir.
Flagg: Good! 'Cause there's no such thing... yet.
Flagg: I've trained myself not to laugh or smile.
Flagg: Watched a hundred hours of The Three Stooges. Every time I felt
like smiling, I jabbed myself in the stomach with a cattle prod.
Potter: That ought to do it.
Flagg: I want to make a call.
Henry: Can I get the number for you?
Flagg: I don't know the number.
Henry: Well, then, how can you make the call?
Flagg: I have to throw up. The number's in a capsule.
Henry: Well. I'll just run along.
Frank: You're crazy, buddy!
Flagg: You call me that again, I'll reach into your throat and pull your heart
Margaret: Please, Frank - I've seen him with his shirt off!
Flagg: Don't kid with me, I
have no sense of humour!
Charles: You could have fooled me!
Flagg: I've got to nip this rotten apple in the bud! This sort of action's
contageous. One man decides he's not gonna fight, it catches on, the next thing,
you know what you've got on your hands?
Hawkeye: Why stop there? Why don't we just drop an atomic bomb?
Flagg: Hey. Don't try to make friends with me.
Frank: But my orders are--
Flagg: The CIA can supercede anyone's orders.
Frank: Except the president, of course.
Flagg: Give it time.
Flagg: Don't play dumb! You're not as good at it as I am!