Men & Women of the 4077th 


Photo Album




Klinger Quotes

I am going to live through this even if it kills me. -- Klinger

Klinger, as a girl stares at his dress: This is what happens to you when you don't eat your vegetables.

Klinger: I am Zoltan, King of the Gypsies!

Klinger: In the words of my people, may your life be an oasis surrounded by waving palms, warm breezes, and spit-free camels.

Radar: Hi Klinger, how's it going?
Klinger: I'm eating a jeep.
Radar: Good.

Are you eating breakfast cereal or is that just a bad telephone line? -- Klinger

May the mother of your camels spit in your yogurt! -- Klinger

Klinger: Colonel, I missed you!
Potter: No.
Klinger: About my heart murmer, Sir.
Potter: No.
Klinger: My double vision is coming back.
Potter: No.
Klinger: I've fallen in love with a goat!
Potter: No.
Klinger: Glad to have you back, Sir

Klinger: First he's going, then he's staying! Why's he staying? Because I'm an idiot! Why don't we make everybody happy, let the hero stay, make the idiot go home!

Klinger, taking a test: "Mary's mother sent her to the store to get nine large cans of beans. Mary could only carry two cans at a time. How many trips to the store did Mary have to make?" ... What kind of a family would only feed the children beans?

Margaret: How could I ever thank you?
Klinger: You could let me try that nail polish!

Klinger: I don't believe I'm saying this... I'm staying in Korea!

Boy seeing the way you guys work with the wounded, the way you deal with burned up legs, ripped up bellies. Makes me proud every time I throw up. -- Klinger

Colonel Potter, Sir! Corporal Klinger. I'm section 8, head to toe. I'm wearing a warner bra. I play with dolls. My last wish is to be buried in my mother's wedding gown. I'm nuts. I should be out. -- Klinger

Klinger: Halt! Who goes there?
General: The man's naked!
Hawkeye: Aw c'mon Klinger, put on a dress or something!
Trapper: At least a slip!

Klinger: But I'm stuck with a dozen dresses!

Klinger: These low heels are killing me.

Trapper: Klinger, how can you wear just a skirt on a cold day like this?
Klinger: You think it's easy being a nut?

Klinger: Colonel, if you can hear me, knock three times! If you can't, knock twice! (Two knocks are heard) Oh Lord, he's dead!

Father: Klinger, I thought you were an atheist.
Klinger: Gave it up for Lent.

Officer: Klinger, I'm here to relieve you.
Klinger: Good. Undo my bra.

Klinger singing: Oh, some guys like the army,
I think that it's a mess.
If it's so damned terrific,
How come I wear a dress?

Klinger: If anything happens, bury me in the blue chiffon!

B. J.: Some guys'd shoot themselves in the foot to get sent home.
Klinger: Not me! I'd ruin a perfectly good pair of nylons!