What in the name of beelzibub is going on here! --
Crock of beans! -- Potter
Mule fritters! -- Potter
Monkey muffins! -- Potter
Buffalo bagels! -- Potter
Buffalo chips! -- Potter
Hot mustard! -- Potter
Hot sausage! -- Potter
Pony pucks! -- Potter
Beaver biscuits! -- Potter
Bull cookies! -- Potter
Pig feathers! -- Potter
Jumpin' jompers! -- Potter
Suffern' saddlesoap! -- Potter
Sufferin' sheepdip! -- Potter
Scuttlebug is as common as cooties in your skivvy!
Great Caesar's Ghost... -- Potter
Great Mother McCree... -- Potter
Hell bells! -- Potter
Busload of bushwah! -- Potter
Mule muffins! -- Potter
Road apples! -- Potter
Great balls of fire! -- Potter
Horse hockey! -- Potter
Pigeon pellets! -- Potter
Cow cookies! -- Potter
Great Caesar's Salad! -- Potter
Horse hockey! -- Potter
What in the name of Sweet Fanny Adams... -- Potter
What in the name of Samuel Hill... -- Potter
What in the name of George Armstrong Custer... --
What in the name of Marco 'BLESSED' Polo... --
Where in the name of Carrie's Corset... -- Potter
Holy hemostat! -- Potter
Jumping Jeosephat! -- Potter
The next person who's nice to me dies is going to die with boots on. Mine! --
Never insult seven men when all you have is a six
shooter -- Potter
I've got a soft spot for Klinger. He looks a little like my son, and he dresses
a lot like my wife -- Potter
So, to me that's a tip-toe through the tullips -- Potter
You have to give Winchester a credit. He is bright,
educated, and an A-1 surgeon, and with all that he still found a room to be a
total jerk. -- Potter
It's 3 'blessed' a.m.! Even roosters are comatose!
It always amazes me how a baby can take a normal
adult and turn him into a babbling idiot. -- Potter
You'll have to excuse these two, they are themselves today. -- Potter
You blow another kiss, Pierce, and those lips will
never walk again. -- Potter
Well, official channels could take forever. I
remember when I applied for permission to get married. By the time the papers
came through, my son was divorced -- Potter
Now you take World War 2. My unit got the word that Nazis, dressed as eskimos,
had overun Seattle. Incredible as it seems, half my unit believed it. -- Potter
Pierce, are you deaf? I'm giving your hijinks the heave-ho, post-haste! I'm the
boss here! I can do that! -- Potter
You know sometimes I think there should be a rule of war saying you have to see
someone up close and get to know 'em before it's ok to shoot 'em. -- Potter
Listen, it's too big a world to be in competition with
everyone. The only person who I have to be better than is myself. And in your
case, that's tough enough. -- Potter to Hawkeye
Listen, when you love somebody, you're always in
trouble. There's only two things you can do about it: either stop loving 'em, or
love 'em a whole lot more. -- Potter
Hawkeye: Why didn't you tell me?
Potter: Because when you become a colonel, they take the bone out of your head
that makes you explain orders.
Potter: It's been a long war, and I passed my prime
about ten squares back.
Hawkeye: Look, Colonel - Sherman. You could give me a hundred reasons to leave,
and I can't give you one good reason to stay. Stay anyway.
Radar: What he said.
B. J.: Please.
Potter: Well, I'll have to think about it... What the hell, I'll stay.
Hawkeye: Thank you, Colonel, you'll regret every minute of it!
Potter: I probably will.
Potter: I'm a little rusty on procedures for when the payroll has been eaten by
Potter: She knew she was marrying a soldier. I proposed to her in combat boots.
Margaret: Well, she probably hoped to find them under the bed a little more
Potter: There's a woman back in Hannibal, Missouri, who's spent the better part
of thirty years waiting for me to come home from one tour of duty or another.
She's had to learn to do an awful lot on her own. Now I'm going home to see if
she can show me how to do it with her.
Hawkeye: I'll go in there when I can screw a
smile on my face.
Potter: I'll lend you one of mine. Got a drawer full of them.
Hawkeye, smiling: So that's your secret.
Potter: Where's your gun?
Hawkeye: Sulking under my cot. We're not on speaking terms.
Potter: Go kiss and make up. You're taking it with you.
Hawkeye: Colonel, if I touch that gun, I'll just trigger another argument.
Potter: Pierce, you're taking your sidearm!
Hawkeye, holding up each arm in turn: Correct. I'm taking along my right side
arm and my left side arm.
Potter: I said fire that weapon!
Hawkeye: All right. (to the gun) You're fired. (to Potter) I did it as gently as
Potter: That was an order, Pierce.
Hawkeye, snapping his fingers: Oh waiter, would you take this man's order,
Well, boys, it would be hard to call what we've been through fun, but I'm sure
glad we went through it together. You boys always managed to give me a good
laugh right when I needed it most. Never forget the time you dropped
Winchester's drawers in the O.R. 'Course I had to pretend I was mad at ya, but
inside I was laughing to beat all hell. -- Potter