Men & Women of the 4077th 


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Trapper Quotes

Trapper, discussing the Bible: I peeked at the end, Frank. The devil did it.

Trapper, quietly: Who needs a kid that wanders off into minefields?
Hawkeye: Right.
Trapper: Back home he'd probably be... probably be crossing against the lights...

Trapper: Klinger's not a pervert!
Margaret: How do you know?
Trapper: Because I'm one, and he's never at the meetings!

Trapper: I'm taking ten minutes.
Nurse: I'm on ten minutes.
Trapper: Between us we've got twenty minutes. Let's go.

Trapper: That's an order!
Frank: A captain can't give a major an order!
Hawkeye: Then it's a threat.
Frank: Well, that's different. This was a great war until you guys showed up!

All it needs is a little salt.... pepper.... mustard, ketchup, sauce, flavour. -- Trapper

Quiet, will you? The man is trying to be dull. Go ahead, Frank, dull away. -- Trapper

How would you like to donate a pint of blood through your nose? -- Trapper

What happens in the event that figure 'A' is attracted to figure 'B' and wants to get married, but figure 'A' is already married to figure 'C' and figure 'B' is engaged to figure 'D', but figure 'A' can't keep his hands of figure 'B' because she's got such agreat figure? -- Trapper

Hawkeye, someone came in here and committed a neatness! -- Trapper

You are the 10 most boring people I know -- Trapper to Frank

Trapper, reading his mail: Bad news from my wife. She still loves me. Would you believe this? She still thinks I got sent to Korea as part of some secret plot to cheat on her!
Hawkeye: Well, didn't you?
Trapper: Yeah, but how did she figure it out?