Chapter 2: Second Guessing
Second Guessing

Paul watched his wife with concern as she continued to gaze out the window. They had been making their initial plans for their return to Cignus. During one discussion, she had paused and lost her attention to the grounds beyond the window and to her own thoughts.

Ever since the attack on Ilene, Paul had watched his wife grow more doubtful and withdrawn. Leda would only tell him her thoughts when he pressed her and even then she did so reluctantly. He had never seen Leda so unsure of herself, and it fed his hatred of Naffid even more.

“Leda?”

With a guilty start, she turned away from the window. “Oh, yes, we were discussing who to leave in charge while we’re gone. Well, we definitely can’t leave Duthbert in charge as we have before. Do you think that perhaps one of my sisters could stay on Jupiter?”

“That’s not what you were thinking about a minute ago, Leda.”

She sighed. “We’ve got some pressing issues to flesh out before we meet with the others, Paul. It can wait.”

“I can’t wait. What has had you so distracted?”

“It’s not important.”

“It is to me. Don’t you trust me anymore?”

“Of course I trust you,” Leda cried. “Paul, you are my best friend and have been long before I fell in love with you. I trust you more than anyone.”

“Then why won’t you talk to me? Why do I have to keep pushing you?”

She remembered the night on Cignus when they had been reunited and she had had the vision of the ebony and the oak trees. She had promised to talk more and to stop hiding some much from him. However, she hadn’t kept her promise.

‘I’ve forced him to have this conversation again,’ she realized. Paul clearly did not enjoy pressing her like this, especially when they had so many other troubles, but he had done so to help her. If it was possible, she loved him even more.

“I’m sorry, Paul. I’ve been secretive again.”

He took her hand, reassuring her with his smile. “Don’t be sorry, love. Just tell me what’s bothering you.”

Again, she sighed. “A lot of things. I wonder if I could have stopped Ilene from getting sick. Should we have known that something was going on with Duthbert?”

“I doubt we could have. We’re just now figuring out how deep the conspiracy is.”

“That’s just it. Duthbert began working in the palace just before my father died. Could the reason that his murderer was never found was that the killer was too high up in the palace?”

Paul leaned back in his chair, frowning thoughtfully. “That would explain a lot about Logan’s death, but I doubt we’ll ever know for sure unless we got a confession from Duthbert or whatever he calls himself now.”

“I know,” she replied, resigned. “Yet, the thing I keep dwelling on the most is Naffid.”

“Naffid? What about him?”

“When did he ally himself with the Shadow Moon? How did he even know it was still in existence when we didn’t?”

“Duthbert had a hand in that, I bet.”

“I fear you’re right. Naffid’s hatred toward my family is well known. But I still can’t believe he would risk Jupiter and its people in a desperate attempt for the crown. Did he honestly believe that Serenity and Endymion would let him have his way?”

“I’m sure Naffid believed that the Shadow Moon would take care of Crystal Tokyo and he would get Jupiter as a reward for his help.”

Leda shook her head in disbelief. “He risked the entire system for the sake of the crown of one planet. Sometimes I think that exiling him was way too kind.”

“I know it was,” Paul said with a bitterness Leda had never heard in her husband.

“Well, it’s done. No more about Naffid,” Leda said, trying to find a different topic. “Cassandra will decide about which of the Guardians will go to Cignus. However, I don’t think that Ilene is ready for battle. I want her both to stay behind. With Cami’s help and Crystal Tokyo on alert, she should be able to handle things on Jupiter.”

“I doubt that your sister will be eager to stay behind.”

“I know, but I can make it an order if I have to.” Leda glanced out the window briefly again. “I can’t believe that we are returning to Cignus again.”

“Are you worried?”

“Not about the fighting, not really. We will either be ready and our forces will be enough or we won’t. But every time we go back there, I learn more about the tangled past of my family.

Although I feel no tie to her, Hecate was my aunt, and that makes Hadrian my cousin. I have already killed her and now I will have to face my cousin as well. How much more kindred blood can I have on my hands?”

“Oh, Leda,” Paul said, wrapping her in his arms, “don’t do this to yourself. Please, don’t. Hecate would have never surrendered. She left you no choice. Hadrian may be different, but if he’s not, you are going to have to whatever it takes to stop him.”

“I hope I will be strong enough to do it, Paul.”

He kissed the top of her head. “You will be, and you won’t be there alone.”

* * * * *

The wind brought the sound of battle to her where she stood on the hill’s summit. Yet, as she peered down into the valley below, she saw no combat. Where was the fighting?

‘Look deeper.’

She obeyed. Suddenly she could see into the valley. However, instead of actual combatants, she only saw points of light.

Dim gray light points fought against points that were made of a rainbow of colors: blues, greens, yellows, pinks, reds, and purples. At first the forces seemed evenly matched, even though there were more gray points. Then something happened. The gray began to win, and the rainbow points began to go out, one by one.

She watched in horror as the brighter points decreased until there was only ten or so left. Surely they knew they were defeated, overwhelmed by the remaining gray forces. However, they kept fighting. The final pink light went out, quickly followed by a yellow-green light and a red light.

Tears poured down her cheeks, falling unchecked to soak the front of her simple white dress. The yellow point went out next. Then more green points faded. The final three were two emerald green points and a lavender point. The lavender point winked out first, leaving the other two. They didn’t survive for long.

The gray had won, filling the valley. Then they began to multiply. They quickly overflowed and began racing in all directions.

“Is this the way it will be?” she asked aloud. It seemed so unfair for it all to end like that. But she had learned long ago that life was far from fair.

‘This is but a possibility.’

“What must be done to prevent this?”

‘It will require a sacrifice.’

“I offer myself and all that I have,” she called. There had been no pause. There was no hesitation in her voice.

‘Look into the valley again.’

Obediently she gazed down below her. Again, the valley was filled with points of light. Once more, the gray began to win as the rainbow points began going out. Then, the sequence changed.

* * * * *

Cassandra rose to her feet, swaying as she tried to stand upright. Feeling dizzy, she grabbed a small end table for support. However, her weight was too much and the legs began to crack, sending candles and glassware crashing to the floor.

“Cassandra?”

The Guardian of Hope closed her eyes to fight the whirling sensations in her head. “I’m fine,” she called. But her voice sounded weak even to her.

The legs broke further, sending more glass to the floor. The additional noise seemed to convince whoever was outside that she was not fine. The door flew opened and two figures rushed inside.

“By the gods,” Scylla cried, grabbing Cassandra before she collapsed into the broken glass that now littered the floor. “Cassandra, are you ill?”

“What time is it?”

“What?” Scylla glanced worriedly from Cassandra to Dido and back.

Cassandra weakly tried to break Scylla’s hold on her. “Just tell me.”

“It’s nearly four o’clock,” Dido answered. At Casssandra’s blank look, she added, “in the afternoon.”

“I didn’t expect the vision to last so long or take me so deep.”

“Cassandra, what’s going on?” Scylla demanded.

“Help me sit down,” Cassandra said. “I’m not sick, Scylla. I haven’t eaten in a while and it has made me weak. But the fasting worked. The vision came.”

“Well, I hope you saw something useful,” Scylla replied, her tone harsh from worry. “Dido, go and bring back some broth from the kitchens. We’ll see if her stomach can tolerate more solid food later.”

The Guardian of Compassion raced out of the room to comply. Now that she was seated and still, the dizziness abated. Cassandra opened her eyes and saw Scylla’s concerned face.

“Was the vision worth it?” the younger woman asked, her voice calmer.

Cassandra shrugged. “I don’t know. I need to think about it before I can make an interpretation.”

“Seers and their visions,” Scylla muttered.

Cassandra smiled. “Empaths and their emotions.”

Scylla gave a rueful smile before she sobered. “Dido will be here with the soup. Take it slowly or you won’t keep it down.”

“I know. I’ve recovered from a fast before.”

Dido quickly returned from the kitchens. The sisters waited as Cassandra slowly drank the broth. They were all silent until Cassandra set the empty mug on the floor.

“Okay, I’ve had some nutrition,” she said. “You can go. I promise I’ll be fine. Unless you needed something?”

“I wanted to talk to you about returning to Cignus,” Scylla said.

“The planning meeting won’t be until later, Scylla,” Casssandra stated.

“I know that, but you will decide which of the Guardians will go.”

The Guardian of Hope glanced from Scylla to Dido and back. “You both have reservations about Harmonea?”

“No,” Dido interjected, “it’s not that.”

“It’s me,” Scylla explained. “I have reservations about me going to Cignus. I think that I should maybe stay.”

“Because of Werla?” Cassandra asked and was rewarded with a nod. “I understand your concern, Scylla, and it’s a serious one. I can’t say that it won’t happen. I hope it doesn’t.”

“You’re not the only one,” Scylla muttered.

“However,” Cassandra continued, “you are a Guardian of Cignus. You have a duty to its people.”

“I know that. But if I change, it could jeopardize everything.”

“And so could a million other things,” Cassandra pointed out. “You are a Guardian. You will be going to Cignus with the others.”

“Thank you,” Dido said. “Come on, Scylla. Cassandra needs her rest.”

Scylla rose to her feet. “Try to eat something and get some rest.”

“I’ll try,” Cassandra said.

The Guardian of Hope welcomed the close of her door. With a sigh, she closed her eyes and rubbed her eyes. She understood Scylla’s doubts, but she needed all the Guardians to return to Cignus.

‘Was the vision worth it?’

“I hope so,” she muttered. It would take her some time to recover fully from the vision. And time wasn’t a luxury she had. “Sacrifice, indeed.”