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Dialogue Questions

Dialogue Questions & Quotations for Reflections

Daily dialogue questions are courtesy of Pat & Debye Galaska,
taken from their document, "A Collection of Dialogue Questions".
They are published on this page for your convenience with permission from:
Worldwide Marriage Encounter, Inc.
2210 East Highland Avenue, Suite 106
San Bernardino, CA  92404-4666
Phone: (909) 863-9963
Fax: (909) 863-9986
E-Mail: office@wwme.org

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if you wish to download over 1001 dialogue questions
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KEY TO ACROYNMS/SHORTFORMS USED

DTF : Describe This Feeling
DFILD: Describe feelings in loving detail.
HDIFAMA: How Do I Feel About My Answer?
HDTF: How Does This Feel?
HDTMMF: How Does This Make Me Feel?
HDMAMMF: How Does My Answer Make Me Feel?
HDIF: How Do I Feel?
HDIFA: How Do I Feel About...
HDIFAT: How Do I Feel About That?
HDIFST: How Do I Feel Sharing This?
HDIFSTWY: How Do I Feel Sharing This With You?
HDIFTTTY: How Do I Feel Telling This To You?
WAMF: What Are My Feelings?
WAMFA: What Are My Feelings About...
WAMFAT: What Are My Feelings About That?
WAMFAMA: What Are My Feelings About My Answer?

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DIALOGUE QUESTIONS YOU CAN USE EVERYDAY

Beside the old stand-by of "What was my strongest feeling today?", try making one of these your NEW "old stand-by".

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ON THE LIGHTER SIDE

1. When was the last time I really made you laugh? HDIF recalling this?
2. What was the silliest thing I ever did with you? HDIFAT?
3. What effect does music have on me? HDMAMMF?
4. How do I see my "favorites -(song, movie etc ) in our relationship? WAMFAT?
5. What do I remember most about our Wedding Day? WAMF?
6. How would I describe you to a blind person? HDMAMMF?
7. How am I like the weather? HDIFAT?
8. What is my favorite time of year? Why? HDIFAMA?
9. My favorite time of day is... HDIFAT?
10. HDIF hearing you laugh?
11. What was the nicest thing someone did for me this week? HDIFAT?
12. How would I describe heaven? HDIFAMA?
13. If I could travel in time, I would... HDIFAT?
14. HDIFA the way we play together?
15. What weeds are growing in my life? HDIFAMA?
16. HDIF when you watch me undress?
17. HDIFA sitting in the front at church?
18. Do I believe in miracles? HDMAMMF?
19. WAMFA the line "can't buy me love"?
20. Our relationship is like what kind of carnival ride? HDIFTYT?
21. What goodness do I see in you today? HDIFTYT?
22. What is my most prized possession? HDIFSTWY?
23. HDIFA waking up beside you?
24. If loving you were like eating candy, would I be fat? HDIFAT?
25. What is my most vivid memory of our honeymoon? HDIFTYT?
26. When was the last time we were really "outrageous"? HDMAMMF?
27. If I were in a Circus Act, I would be... HDIFAT?
28. The saint you remind me most of is.... DMFILD.
29. If I were an animal, I'd choose to be a .........HDMAMMF?
30. Today was like a game of ............ HDIFTYT?
31. What will we be doing when we are 80? HDMAMMF?
32. My favorite dessert is..... How does that remind me of you?m HDMAMMF?
33. If we could go anywhere for a romantic weekend, I'd take you to.... HDIFTYT?
34. The Bible character you remind me most of is.... HDIFTYT?
35. Your sexiest outfit is.......... HDTMMF?
36. Our relationship is most like what sport? HDIFAT?
37. When was the last time I acted like a little kid? HDMAMMF?
38. What kitchen appliance am I most like? HDIFTYT?
39. All I want for Christmas is......HDMAMMF?
40. When was the last time I laughed at myself? HDIFTYT?
41. How are you like my favorite flavor of ice cream? HDMAMMF?
42. What flower do you remind me of? HDIFTTTY?
43. My most favorite part of your body is.....HDIFTYT?
44. You're my hero. Describe. HDTMMF?
45. What can you do better than a Swiss Army Knife? HDIFTYT?
46. What cartoon character am I most like today? HDIFTYT?
47. What would I give you an Oscar for? HDIFAMA?
48. What is my favorite childhood birthday party memory? HDIF recalling this?
49. If I could try a new job for one day, I'd try _______________. HDIFSTWY?
50. What is my favorite hymn? HDIF when I hear it?
51. HDIF when you give me a butterfly kiss?
52. What chess piece do you remind me of? HDIFAMA?
53. Describe the ideal picnic. WAMFSTWY?
54. What do I miss most when we are on vacation? HDIFAT?
55. If I were President for a day I'd ....... HDIFSTWY?
56. How did I choose my confirmation name? HDIFSTWY?

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DIALOGUE QUESTIONS ON LIFE

1. What actions/things/behaviors are life-giving to me? HDIFSTWY?
2. Have I been life-giving to you today? HDIFAMA?
3. HDIFA change?
4. What was the greatest change from Marriage Encounter weekend for me? HDIFAMA?
5. What was the greatest change from our wedding day? HDIFAMA?
6. HDIFA "Bloom where you're planted"?
7. Jesus came to bring us new life. HDIFAT?
8. HDIF when I see a new baby?
9. HDIFA a death we have experienced in our family?
10. How can we bring new life to someone else, as a couple? HDIFAT?
11. HDIFA the anniversary of Roe vs Wade?
12. HDIF when I see an abortion rally? 13. HDIFA Operation Rescue?
14. HDIFA Catholics for Choice?
15. HDIFA contraception?
16. Birth control pills can work by preventing a fertilized egg from implanting. Did I know that? HDIF knowing that?
17. Am I open to new life?
18. HDIFA the size of our family?
19. What do I think is needed for another child in our lives? HDIFAMA?
20. How can we reach out to children outside our family? HDIFAT?
21. Am I choosing the direction of my life, or is my life directing me? HDIFAMA?
22. HDIFA the septuplets?
23. HDIFA our fertility?
24. Is our sexual relationship life-giving? HDIFAMA?
25. Is our diet life-giving? HDIFAMA?
26. Is the atmosphere in our home life-giving? HDIFAMA?
27. Am I taking care of my body? HDIFAMA?
28. Are you taking care of your body? HDIFAMA?
29. Are our children taking care of their bodies? HDIFAMA?
30. Am I growing or standing still right now? HDIFAMA?
31. What in my life is life-draining? HDIFAT?
32. What do I see in your life as life-draining? HDIFAT?
33. When is the last time you forgave me, and HDIFAT?
34. When is the last time I forgave you, and HDIFAT?
35. Does love mean you never have to say you're sorry? HDIFAT?
36. HDIF when you ask my forgiveness?
37. HDIF when I ask your forgiveness?
38. When was a time you touched my life? WAMFAT?
39. When was a time when our love as a couple touched someone else's life? WAMFAT?
40. Are our jobs life-giving to us or anyone else? WAMFAT?
41. HDIFA the amount of time we spend watching TV?
42. Where do I spend most of my energy each day? HDIFAMA?
43. How am I life-giving to you? HDIFAT?
44. How does my negative or positive self-image affect me being life-giving? HDIFAMA?
45. The time I feel most alive is _________. DFILD.

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DIALOGUE QUESTIONS ON PARENTHOOD/FAMILY

Many of the questions that reference children/child can be answered several times - once for each child.

1. HDIFA the number of children we have?
2. HDIFA having more children?
3. HDIFA our children leaving home and going out into the world to make their own choices?
4. HDIF recalling the birth of (each) child?
5. HDIF realizing that you have given me the gift of being a father/mother?
6. HDIFA adopting a child?
7. HDIFA being a step-parent?
8. HDIFA being a foster parent?
9. HDIFA taking a parent into our home and caring for him or her?
10. HDIFA my mother?
11. HDIFA your mother?
12. HDIFA my father?
13. HDIFA your father?
14. HDIFA how active I am in our children's schooling?
15. HDIFA how active I am in our children's sports or other activities?
16. HDIFA going shopping with our children?
17. What is my greatest concern for (each) child? HDMAMMF?
18. What do I hope for (each) child? HDMAMMF?
19. WAMFA our church's teaching on Natural Family Planning?
20. How did I feel during (each) pregnancy?
21. How do I feel about our ability or inability to have children?
22. How do I feel when someone calls me Mommy or Daddy?
23. The three things I like best about (each) child are _____________. HDIFAMA?
24. Is there something I dislike about myself that I see in (each) child? HDIF when I see it?
25. HDIF when I hear myself say things my mother or father said?
26. HDIF when I see your features in our child?
27. HDIFA breastfeeding?
28. HDIFA pacifiers?
29. HDIF when I put a child in time out?
30. HDIF when a child disobeys?
31. HDIFA spanking?
32. HDIFA yelling?
33. HDIFA rewarding good behavior?
34. Do we agree on discipline? HDMAMMF?
35. Do I have a favorite child? HDMAMMF?
36. HDIFA our children's grades?
37. Am I actively involved in our children's religious formation? HDMAMMF?
38. Do we pray with our children? HDMAMMF?
39. HDIF when our child is sick?
40. HDIF when I can't go to a function our child wants me to be at?
41. HDIF when our children misbehave in public?
42. HDIF when our children are praised by strangers?
43. HDIFA our children's grandparents' involvement with them?
44. Recalling our child(ren)'s baptism, HDIF?
45. HDIFA our child's current boyfriend or girlfriend?
46. HDIFA planning a weekly family outing?
47. HDIFA children sharing in household chores?
48. HDIFA the children having a savings account?
49. HDIFA giving the children an allowance?
50. HDIFA our children's friends?
51. HDIFA how our children spend their free time?
52. HDIFA the amount of TV our children watch?
53. HDIFA telling our children I love them at least once a day?
54. HDIFA kissing our children good night?
55. HDIF holding a child's hand?
56. HDIFA the values our children are choosing?
57. Do I live what I preach? HDIFAMA?
58. HDIF when a teacher doesn't like my child?
59. HDIFA our child's college plans?
60. HDIFA the way our children dress?
61. HDIFA our children's language?
62. HDIFA our child leaving the nest?
63. HDIFA our children's manners?
64. How am I like my mother? HDIFAMA?
65. How am I like my father? HDIFAMA?
66. How are you like your mother? HDIFAMA?
67. How are you like your father? HDIFAMA?
68. Have I cut the apron strings? HDIFAMA?
69. Are we meeting our children's needs? HDIFAMA?
70. HDIFA your tenderness with the children?
71. HDIF when I (you) discipline our children?
72. What are my hopes and dreams for our children? WAMFAMA?
73. Do I see our children as gifts from God? HDIFAT?
74. How do our children affect our relationship? HDIFAMA?
75. HDIF when we leave our children for a few days?
76. HDIF in my role as a mother/father?
77. HDIF when I/you criticize how you/I discipline our children?
78. What are/were my expectations of my (your) family? HDIFAMA?
79. What were/are my (your) family's expectations of us? HDIFAMA?
80. HDIFA your (my) relationship with my family?
81. HDIFA my (your) relationship with your family?
82. HDIF when my/your family makes demands on us?
83. HDIF when our families criticize our lifestyle and involvements?
84. Do I believe children should be seen and not heard? HDMAMMF?

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FAMILY DIALOGUE QUESTIONS

Get the whole family involved! Try these dialogue questions out with the whole family. Younger children can draw pictures or tell an older family member what to write down.

QUESTIONS TO PREPARE FOR FAMILY DIALOGUE:

1. What are your best qualities as a parent and WAMFAT?
2. What are my best qualities as a parent and WAMFAT?
3. What quality as a parent do I most envy in you and WAMFAT?
4. What is my attitude toward discipline and WAMF?
5. What is my attitude toward punishment and WAMF?
6. Which of our children most needs our help and understanding and WAMF?
7. In what ways do I feel superior to you as a parent and WAMF?
8. What do I want most for our children and WAMF?

QUESTIONS FOR FAMILY DIALOGUE:

1. What was my most exciting feeling today? DFILD. (Describe feelings in loving detail)
2. What was the most meaningful experience that I had today? HDMAMMF?
3. If Jesus came to our house for a 24 hour visit how would that make me feel? DFILD.
4. HDIFA being unforgiving?
5. HDIF being unforgiven?
6. HDIFA the love I bring to our family?
7. HDIFA being part of this family?
8. HDIF when someone in our family helps me?
9. HDIF when a friend helps me?
10. HDIF when I receive a compliment from someone in our family?
11. HDIF when I receive a compliment from someone outside our family?
12. What is the meaning of Christmas to me? HDTMMF?
13. What is the meaning of Lent to me? HDTMMF?
14. What is the meaning of Easter to me? HDTMMF?
15. What is the meaning of Thanksgiving to me? HDTMMF?
16. What is the meaning of my birthday to me? HDTMMF?
17. WAMFA attending Mass on Sundays?
18. What is my best quality? HDTMMF?
19. What do I like best about our family? HDTMMF?
20. WAMF when I am asked to cut back or do without?
21. WAMFA family dialogue?
22. What is the most important thing that happened to me this week? HDTMMF?
23. When do I feel closest to all of you and WAMF?
24. What are a few things I like to do with our family and WAMF?
25. WAMFA the privacy of my room?
26. What do I want most out of life and why?
27. What do I hope for next summer, how does that affect our family and WAMF?
28. What has been the most painful experience in our family this past week and WAMF?
29. What do I like to do best without the family and WAMF?
30. How do I feel when we pray together as a family at mealtime?
31. What is the possession I have that I like best? HDTMMF?

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SCRIPTURE DIALOGUE

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." (John 1:1).

This Scripture passage tells us that the Word IS God. In our Bible, we have God present in a special way. We like to think of Scripture as God's loveletters... written to us and for us... to reveal Jesus and ourselves in relationship with Him. The books of the Bible are our books. We can respond to loveletters, and our responses, our feelings, are neither right nor wrong. Scripture dialogue is a tool - a means of responding to the loveletters of our Father. The basics of Scripture dialogue are:

1. Select a passage from Scripture that is meaningful to you as a couple.

2. Read enough before and after that particular passage to be able to "place" your passage as far as chronological sequence in the events of Jesus' life (or of events before or after Christ) and as far as the physical setting.

3. With one another, try to set the scene - from the outside in.

a. physical setting, time of day, indoors, outdoors

b. emotional climate of the passage - the atmosphere

c. zero in on Jesus (or God), the characters, and yourself - Where are you in this scene? What do you see? What do you hear? Who or what do you identify with?

4. Re-read your particular passage.

5. Write your loveletter immediately. The basic question for Scripture dialogue is, "What are my feelings hearing Jesus say these words to us as a couple?" Focus on your feelings. How do I feel? How do I feel about my spouse? Our relationship? How do I feel about Jesus? What feelings has He stirred up in me? Feel the atmosphere we have brought alive, and respond to it.

6. Follow dialogue technique for writing, exchange, dialogue and select. Read each other's letters twice. In your dialogue, focus on responding to one another's loveletter.

7. Discussion later could be focused on "What did His words mean to me?", or how His words make me think about our life, and how I would like to live them, how His words affect my attitudes with you and with Him. Don't worry about being right. You can start in your prayer, drawing on the graces and the love our Lord has promised us - to strengthen us when we are afraid, to give us courage to make the decisions we make in opening ourselves up to one another.

None of these are hard and fast rules you have to follow - these are just ideas of how others have had meaningful Scripture dialogue times.

SCRIPTURE DIALOGUE

1. John 15:16, "It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name he may give you."

2. John 14:23: Jesus answered and said to him, "Whoever loves me will keep my word and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our dwelling with him."

3. 1 Kings, 19: 9 and 11-13: There he came to a cave, where he took shelter. But the word of the Lord came to him, "Why are you here, Elijah?" Then the Lord said, "Go outside and stand on the mountain before the Lord; the Lord will be passing by." A strong and heavy wind was rending the mountains and crushing rocks before the Lord - but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake - but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake there was fire - but the Lord was not in the fire. After the fire there was a tiny whispering sound.

4. Matthew 6: 5-8: "When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, who love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on street corners so that others may see them. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray go to your inner room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you. In praying, do not babble like the pagans, who think that they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them. your Father know what you need before you ask him."

5. Matthew 5: 14, 15: You are the light of the world. A city set on a mountain cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and then put it under a bushel basket; it is set on a lampstand, where it gives light to all in the house.

6. Matthew 6:9-15: "This is how you are to pray: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as in heaven. Give us today our daily bread; and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors; and do not subject us to the final test, but deliver us from the evil one. If you forgive others their transgressions your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions."

7. Matthew 13: 14,15: "Isaiah's prophecy is fulfilled in them, which says: 'You shall indeed hear but not understand, you shall indeed look but never see. Gross is the heart of this people, they will hardly hear with their ears, they have closed their eyes, lest they see with their eyes and hear with their ears and understand with their heart and be converted and I heal them.'"

8. Matthew 7:22-23: "The lamp of the body is the eye. If your eye is sound, your whole body will be filled with light; but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be in darkness. And if the light in you is darkness, how great will the darkness be."

9. 1 Samuel 3:7-10: At that time Samuel was not familiar with the Lord, because the Lord had not revealed anything to him as yet. The Lord called Samuel again, for the third time. Getting up and going to Eli, he said, "Here I am. You called me." Then Eli understood that the Lord was calling the youth. So he said to Samuel, "Go to sleep, and if you are called, reply, 'Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.'" When Samuel went to sleep in his place, the Lord came and revealed his presence, calling out as before, "Samuel, Samuel!" Samuel answered, "Speak, for your servant is listening."

10. Matthew 18:19-20: "Again , [amen,] I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything for which they are to pray, it shall be granted to them by my heavenly Father. For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them."

11. Matthew 10:32: "Everyone who acknowledges me before others I will acknowledge before my heavenly Father."

12. John 13:34-35: "I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another. This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."

13. John 14: 15-17: "If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate to be with you always, the Spirit of truth, which the world cannot accept, because it neither sees nor knows it. But you know it, because it remains with you, and will be in you."

14. John 15:5: "I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever remains in me and I in him will bear much fruit, because without me you can do nothing."

15. John 15:8: "By this is my Father glorified, that you bear much fruit and become my disciples."

16. John 15:16-17: "It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name he may give you. This I command you: love one another."

17. Matthew 5:23: "Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar, and there recall that your brother has anything against you, leave your gift there at the altar, go first and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift."

18. Mark 10:13-14: And people were bringing children to him that he might touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this he became indignant and said to them, :Let the children come to me; do not prevent them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these."

19. Matthew 17:19-21: Then the disciples approached Jesus in private and said, "Why could we not drive it out?" He said to them, "Because of your little faith. Amen, I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

20. 1 Timothy 4:4-5: For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected when received with thanksgiving, for it is made holy by the invocation of God in prayer.

21. Matthew 13:35-36: Watch, therefore; you do not know when the lord of the house is coming, whether in the evening, or at midnight, or at cockcrow, or in the morning. May he not come suddenly and find you sleeping."

22. John 8:7: But when they continued asking him, he straightened up and said to them, "Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her."

Other Scripture Passages to dialogue on:

-Genesis 1 -Genesis 2 -Ephesians 1
-Ephesians 4 -1 Samuel 3:1-18 -Hosea 2:16-25
-Hosea 11:1-5 -Luke 15:11-32 -Psalm 139
-Matthew 6:1-34 -John 14:1-7 -John 14:9-14
-John 15:1-4 -John 15:13-15 -Mark 2:1-5
-Matthew 21:12-17 -Matthew 21:18-22 -Mark 9:14-29
-Mark 12:38-40 -Luke 1:8-22 -Luke 6:12-16
-Luke 19:45-48 -Luke 20:45-47 -Luke 22:39-46

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DIALOGUE QUESTIONS ON PRAYER/SPIRITUALITY

1. What are my hopes and dreams for my prayer life? HDMAMMF?
2. What are my hopes and dreams for us a couple concerning prayer? HDMAMMF?
3. What are my hopes and dreams for our children concerning prayer? HDMAMMF?
4. My life is a prayer. HDIFAT?
8. Our love is a prayer. HDIFAT?
9. HDIFA praying out loud?
10. How does my poor self-image affect our couple prayer? HDMAMMF?
11. HDIF when I hear you pray aloud?
12. HDIF when we say grace before meals? Or when we don't?
13. Do I look for and accept the Lord's will for my life?
14. Do I see Jesus alive in our marriage? HDIFST? HDIFST?
15. HDIFA the charismatic style of prayer?
16. HDIF recalling my confirmation?
17. What was my parents' relationship with God like? WAMF thinking about this?
18. HDIFA tithing?
19. How long do I think family prayer should last? HDIFAMA?
20. HDIFA trying different parishes/churches?
21. HDIF when I see a crucifix?
22. HDIFA religious statues?
23. HDIFA giving and receiving the sign of peace?
24. HDIFA our church's rituals?
25. HDIFA my godparents?
26. HDIFA being a godparent?
27. HDIF when I witness a baptism?
28. HDIF recalling my first communion?
29. HDIF when I receive communion?
30. HDIF recalling my first confession?
31. How important is the Eucharist to me? HDIFAMA?
32. Do I ever attend daily Mass? HDIFAMA?
33. HDIF after I go to confession?
34. HDIF confessing my sins out loud?
35. HDIF knowing I am forgiven for my sins?
36. HDIFA penance?
37. HDIFA our minister/priest?
38. HDIFA our relationship with our priest/minister?
39. Would I want our child to become a priest/minister?
40. When I pray, do I listen? HDIFAMA?
41. HDIFA " Let go and let God"?
42. HDIFA observing Lent?
43. HDIFA fasting?
44. Is Mass a celebration for me? HDIFAMA?
45. HDIFA singing praise to God?
46. Do I see my labors as prayer? HDIFAMA?
47.  HDIF when I witness a marriage?
48. Is marriage a covenant or a contract? HDIFAMA?
49. HDIF when I hear "The family that prays together stays together"?
50. Have I ever experienced the presence of the Holy Spirit? What did it feel like?
52. HDIFA being a prayer couple for a weekend? (Try writing your couple a loveletter on this for your prayer letter!)
53. Do I thank God for you every day? HDIFAMA?
54. Do I thank God for my life every day? HDIFAMA?
55. HDIFA praying while I'm driving or waiting in line?
56. Are you closer to God than I? HDIFAMA?
57. HDIFA dialoguing on the Sunday scriptures?
58. Do I have an attitude of superiority or inferiority about prayer? HDIFAMA?
59. Are we in unity in our faith? HDIFAT?
60. HDIFA family prayer?
61. HDIFA attending Mass or church services together every week?
62. HDIFA our children's religious education?
63. Do I want our children to follow my example of lived faith? HDIFAMA?
64. What does baptism mean to me? HDIFAMA?
65. HDIFA praying together?
66. Do I love God? HDIFAMA?
67. What do I expect of God? HDIFAMA?
68. How does my mask/personality style influence my relationship with God? HDIFAMA?
69. HDIFA living God's plan for us?
70. When am I most aware of God's presence? HDIFAMA?
71. Is my image of God like my image of my father? HDIFAMA?
72. Do I believe God loves me? HDIFAMA?
73. Do I fear God? HDIFAMA?
74. Do I see myself as a temple of the Holy Spirit? HDIFAMA?
75. Do I look forward to heaven? HDIFAMA?
76. Do I see Jesus in you? HDIFAMA?
77. Do I see Jesus in our children? HDIFAMA?
78. Our sexual intimacy is prayer. HDIFAT?
79. God rejoices in our sexual union. HDIFAT?
80. HDIF when I hear the Beatitudes?
81. Do I pray for our children? HDIFAMA?
82. Do I pray in front of our children? HDIFAMA?
83. Do I pray for others to change or for changes in myself? HDIFAMA?
84. Do I pray for circumstances to change or for the grace to handle circumstances? HDIFAMA?
85. Do I accept God's will? HDIFAMA?
86. Do I follow or lead in our couple prayer? HDIFAMA?
87. What does the Good Shepherd mean to me? HDIFAMA?
88. Have I experienced Scripture or a sermon speaking directly to me? How did I feel when that happened?
89. Do I believe God created me? HDIFAMA?
90. What is my awareness of my sinfulness? HDIFAMA?
91. What is my awareness of my goodness? HDIFAMA?

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ROMANCE

1. What is my fondest memory of our courtship? HDTMMF? (How does this make me feel)
2. Share the first time I knew you were the one for me.
3. How do I see our sexual relationship affecting our whole relationship?
4. HDIFA our growth in the area of sex?
5. HDIFA experimenting in our sexual relationship?
6. Do I see our sexual relationship affecting our whole relationship?
7. HDIF when you say no?
8. HDIF when I ask you to make love to me?
9. HDIF when you SAY yes but you MEAN no?
10. HDIF when I make the decision to love and have sex when I don't want to?
11. "Husbands, love your wives as you love your own bodies" and "Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church". How do these words make me feel?
12. What was our favorite song when we were courting, and HDIF remembering/hearing it?
13. HDIF when I think about some of the crazy things we did for each other?
14. What about you turned me on the most? HDIFA that quality now?
15. HDIF about us when others notice how much we love each other?
16. HDIF when I remember our wedding day?
17. HDIF when I get a surprise note or call from you?
18. WAMF (what are my feelings) knowing you care more about me than about anyone else?
19. What do I think you miss most about our romance? HDTMMF?
20. How does my mask/personality style interfere with our romance? HDTMMF?
21. HDIF when our other activities become more important than the two of us?
22. HDIFA going out to dinner together?
23. HDIFA bringing our dialogue books on a date?
24. Is our marriage bed sacred? HDIFAMA?
25. HDIF when I (wife)/you (husband) wear/don't wear make-up?
26. How can I become more sensitive to you?
27. HDIFA introducing you as my spouse?
28. HDIF when we make time for us?
29. What sacrifices am I willing to make to be more romantic with you? HDIFAT?
30. Do I see dialogue as part of our romance? HDIFAT?
31. Romance is a decision. HDIFAT?
32. What song would I dedicate to you today? HDIFAT?
33. How do I want you to romance me? HDTMMF (how does that make me feel)?
34. Do I see romance as part of our holiness? HDTMMF?
35. WAMFA being creative in our romance?
36. How can I be loving to you even when we can't make love? HDTMMF?
37. HDIF when I receive a gift?
38. HDIF when I receive an unexpected gift?
39. HDIF when my gift of help, time, friendship, etc is refused?
40. HDIF when I have to ask you for _______?
41. HDIF when you light candles?
42. What's your sexiest outfit? HDIF when I see you in it?
43. Do I see our sexual relationship as part of our vocation? HDIFAMA?
44. Can people tell we love each other when they see us? HDIFAMA?
45. HDIFA making love when we have a time limit?
46. HDIFA taking ballroom dancing lessons with you?
47. HDIF when you reach out and touch me?
48. HDIF when your eyes sparkle?
49. HDIF when you gaze into my eyes?
50. HDIF when you sing me a love song?
51. HDIF when we dance in the livingroom?
52. Is my body mine or yours? HDIFAMA?
53. Is your body yours or mine? HDIFAMA?
54. HDIF about birth control?
55. HDIF about adoption?
56. HDIF about the number of children we have?
57. HDIF when you tell me you love me?
58. HDIF reading the Song of Solomon?
59. HDIF when I am buying a gift for you?
60. What is the most sensitive part of my body? HDIFSTWY?
61. What is my favorite pet name that you call me? HDIFAT?
62. How do I like you to touch me? HDIF when you touch me that way?
63. HDIF when you tell me that you desire me?
64. HDIFA making love at relatives' houses?
65. HDIFA my sexuality?
66. HDIFA making love when I'm tired?
67. HDIFA my attractiveness?
68. HDIF when we make love?
69. Do I fear intimacy? HDIF?
70. HDIF when I say no to you in sex?
71. HDIFA our sexual relationship right now?
72. What do I find most attractive about you? HDIFSTWY?
73. What are my fears about discussing sex with you? HDIFSTWY?
74. What do I feel most inadequate about in sex? DFILD.
75. What were/are my expectations in our sexual relationship? WAMFAT?
76. I enjoy our sexual relationship most when... DFILD.
77. What has been my greatest joy in our sexual relationship? DFILD.
78. What has been my greatest hurt in our sexual relationship? DFILD.
79. When do I avoid sexual involvement with you? DFILD.
80. When do I most want to be sexually involved with you? DFILD.
81. HDIFA being intimate with you in our sexual relationship?
82. HDIFA my ability to satisfy your needs in our sexual relationship?
83. HDIFA receiving back rubs/massages?
84. HDIFA giving back rubs/massages?
85. How do I not like you to touch me? HDIFTTTY?
86. What is my favorite time of day to make love? HDIFAMA?
87. HDIFA giving you a 10 second kiss every day?
88. What puts me in the mood? HDIFSTWY?
89. What gets me out of the mood? HDIFSTWY?
90. HDIFA the frequency of our lovemaking?
91. HDIFA the variety of our lovemaking?
92. HDIF when you see me naked?
93. HDIF when I see you naked?
94. HDIFA telling you what I like or don't like?
95. HDIF asking you to make love?
96. HDIF when you ask me to make love?
97. HDIF when you kiss me in public?
98. HDIF when we hold hands in public?
99. HDIFA holding hands in church?
100. Do we still sit next to each other? HDIFAT?
101. HDIFA recliners?
102. HDIFA laughing during lovemaking?
103. HDIFA talking during lovemaking?
104. Do I believe the things we did to compensate for no sex in our courtship aren't necessary now? HDIFAMA?
105. Do I sometimes take you for granted? HDIFAMA?
106. Do I believe romance is a sign of weakness? HDIFAMA?
107. Do I see romance as foreplay? HDIFAMA?
108. Do I see us as too old for romance? HDIFAMA?
109. Do I worry about the kids seeing us? HDIFAT?
110. Do I have the attitude, "Don't start something you can't finish," and how does that affect our sexual relationship? HDIFAMA?
111. Can I be romantic when I don't FEEL romantic? HDIFAMA?
112. HDIF asking for romance?
113. Do I ever use sex as a reward for good behavior? HDIFAMA?
114. How important is spontaneity to me? HDIFAMA?
115. HDIF when you shower me with attention?
116. What sexual baggage am I dealing with? HDIFSTWY?
117. Is sex good or bad? HDIFAMA?
118. Do I worry about being taken for granted? HDIFSTWY?
119. Does Romance = Sex? HDIFAMA?
120. Am I ever suspicious when you are especially nice? HDIFSTWY?
121. Do I believe that making love after an argument or misunderstanding is an easy way out? HDIFSTWY?
122. Am I more or less affectionate than my parents? HDIFAT?
123. Do I see you as more or less affectionate than your parents? HDIFSTWY?
124. Do I keep score? (When you be nice to me, I'll be nice to you.) HDIFSTWY?
125. Do I worry that his romance stuff is expensive, and we can't afford it? HDIFSTWY?
126. Do we have time for things like lingering over a candlelight dinner at home? HDIFAT?
127. Do I believe you'll be tired and cranky in the morning if I keep you up another hour? HDIFAT?
128. Does it matter if we're meeting the national average? HDIFAT?
129. Do the kids put a damper on my spontaneity? HDIFAT?
130. Do I ever worry that if I go all out this time, you will expect this all the time? DFILD.
131. Am I a romantic? HDIFAMA?
132. Am I afraid of change? HDIFAMA?
133. HDIF when the kids knock on the door when we are making love?
134. HDIF when you give me a mushy card?
135. What makes me feel holy? DFILD.
136. HDIFA receiving flowers?
137. HDIFA surprising you with flowers?
138. What makes me feel degraded? DFILD.
139. HDIFA being affectionate in front of the kids?
140. When was the last time we gazed at a sunset, sunrise or starry night together? HDIFAT?
141. HDIFA being tickled?
142. HDIF when you run your fingers through my hair?
143. HDIF when I have fantasies?
144. HDIFA negligees?
145. HDIFA sharing fantasies with you?
146. HDIFA a second honeymoon?
147. HDIF recalling our honeymoon?
148. HDIFA celebrating our anniversaries?

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WHO AM I?

1. What kind of failure disturbs me most and HDTMMF?
2. What quality of yours do I most admire and HDTMMF?
3. How do I act so that others will accept me? HDTMMF?
4. What do I do in a group of strangers to be accepted and HDTMMF?
5. Looking back over my day, what act or achievement makes me feel best about myself? HDTMMF?
6. What kind of compliment makes me feel good? Describe the feelings.
7. How do I want others to see me? HDIFAMA?
8. What are my best qualities? HDIFAMA?
9. What do I do to gain acceptance and profit emotionally? HDIFAMA?
10. What roles do I play? HDIFAMA?
11. How do I react to compliments? HDIF?
12. What kind of criticism distresses me? HDIF?
13. What is my greatest compulsion? HDIFAT?
14. When I withdraw into my shell, HDTMMF?
15. When you withdraw into your shell, HDTMMF?
16. How do I want you to see me, and is it the same as I want others to see me? HDIFAT?
17. What quality in you am I most dependent on? HDIFAT?
18. How do I feel when I do something "klutzy"?
19. How do I feel when I need to be loved?
20. What are my thoughts when I hear the statement, "God does not make junk"? HDIFAT?
21. HDIF when you give me a compliment?
22. HDIF when I judge myself inadequate, guilty, or unlovable?
23. What do I try NOT to be seen as (weak, dumb, frivolous, impractical, etc)? HDMAMMF?
24. When do I repress my feelings? HDIFAT?
25. What do I do to get relief from emotional pain when I am tired, lonely, angry or hurting? HDMAMMF?
26. What nickname do my co-workers or family members have for me? HDIFAT?
27. How does my personality style/mask prevent me from listening to you with my heart and HDTMMF?
28. How does the image I project affect our dialogue? HDIFAT?
29. How does the image I project affect our relationship? HDIFAT?
30. What has our dialogue done for my self-image? HDIFAT?
31. Do I expect security from our marriage? HDMAMMF?
32. Do I expect companionship from our marriage? HDMAMMF?
33. Do I expect tenderness and understanding in our marriage? HDMAMMF?
34. Do I expect encouragement from you? HDMAMMF?
35. Do I expect intellectual closeness from our marriage? HDMAMMF?
36. Do I have "my chair" or "my spot"? HDIF when someone else sits there? HDMAMMF?
37. Do I feel comfortable hugging you and the children? HDMAMMF?
38. Do I believe it is important to be on time? HDMAMMF?
39. Do I think life is fair? HDMAMMF?
40. Do I believe we should have at least one family meal a day? HDMAMMF?
41. Do I like to drop in on people? HDIFAT?
42. Do I like for people to drop in on us? HDIF when it happens?
43. Do I believe we should share household tasks? HDMAMMF?
44. Do I believe it is important to take a yearly family vacation? HDMAMMF?
45. Do I think it is important to go to church every week? HDMAMMF?
46. Do I enjoy being pampered? HDIF when I am?
47. Is the money mine, ours, or yours? HDMAMMF?
48. Is family planning my job, your job, or ours? HDMAMMF?
49. HDIF when we disagree on something?
50. HDIF when I'm the center of attention?
51. How do I make decisions? HDIFAMA?
52. HDIF in a competition?
53. HDIFA trying new things?
54. HDIFA being praised or recognized in public?
55. HDIFA doing routine tasks?
56. HDIFA change?
57. HDIF when I have to depend on others?
58. HDIFA uncertainty?
59. HDIFA finishing things?
60. What did my parents praise me most for? HDIF recalling this?
61. What were my parents most critical of me about in my childhood? HDIF recalling this?
62. HDIFA apologizing?
63. HDIFA change?
64. What frustrates me most in working with others? HDIFAT?
65. HDIF when I make a mistake?
66. Am I a pessimist or an optimist? HDIFAMA?
67. HDIF when I'm criticized or made fun of in public?
68. HDIF when there is a last minute change of plans?
69. HDIFA security and stability?
70. HDIFA a challenge?
71. HDIF when someone lies to me?
72. Do I believe in work before play? How does that impact our relationship? HDIFAMA?
73. How do I get re-energized? Is it the same way you do? HDIFAMA?
74. What do I find relaxing? HDIFAMA?
75. HDIFA surprises?
76. Is orderliness important to me? HDIFA a chaotic environment?
77. Is it more important for me to be liked or to be right? HDIFAMA?
78. HDIFA surprises?
79. Where do I generally have an attitude of superiority? HDIFSTWY?
80. HDIF when no one notices something I put a lot of work into?
81. HDIF when I have to work in a group?
82. Do I want to fit in or stand out? HDIFAMA?
83. HDIF when I have to work alone?
84. HDIFA unresolved issues?
85. HDIFA being accountable to someone else?
86. HDIF when someone asks me to share?
87. How important is physical affection to me? HDIFAMA?
88. HDIFA confrontation?
89. HDIFA sacrifice?
90. HDIFA traditions?
91. HDIF when I'm given a task without guidance or clear expectations?
92. HDIF when people disagree with me?
93. HDIFA learning new things?
94. HDIF when I have a deadline?
95. HDIF when my decisions are questioned?
96. Do I make lists? HDIFAT?
97. HDIF when I'm late?
98. Do I tend to see things in black and white or do I see shades of gray? HDIFAMA?
99. Do I prefer to be alone/with 2 or 3 close friends, in a small group, or at a huge gathering? HDIFAMA?
100. HDIFA parades?
101. Where do I have an attitude of inferiority? HDIFSTWY?
102. HDIF when people change the rules?

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This page is maintained by Anthony & Helen Please contact us with any suggestions or comments. This file updated on 23-November-99