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Editorial
The ME Parish Committee - Church of the Holy Spirit
The Wooden People
Communication Needs Practice
Love Circle 207
Holy Spirit Empowers - Thoughts from some ....
Love Circle 161 is revived
Holy Spirit Empowers - Bobby & Lily
Our Father's Call to a couple - Fr Chuck Gallagher
"The Holy Spirit Empowers Us" - On Pentecost Day the not too perfect apostles, were empowered by the Holy Spirit to proclaim their faith. Some judge they were drunk but were they?.......
Humans, perfect and imperfect, like the wemmicks, we judge others by our standards and others judge us by theirs. But our maker makes us in his image and it is his opinion that counts. Like the not too perfect apostles, married couples too even if not perfect (there is not such thing as a perfect couple) are empowered by the Holy Spirit to proclaim the good news ....
Dear Married couples you are that outward sign of Christ unconditional love to our children, our family, our priests, our religious, our fellow parishioners and our neighbours and you can definitely proclaim that if you allow the Holy Spirit to empower you ..... Ask and you will be given!!!
That's what Fr Joe Tan, Parish Priest of Church of the Holy Spirit & National Co-ordinator of ME Spore did. He boldly asked and encountered couples from his parish responded. They are the organisers of this coming great event - the M.E 19th Anniversary Mass.
Can we do the same? Boldly ask and invite as many couples as we can to come experience the magic of ME couples love. Bring your family, invite your friends both encountered and not encountered, to the Church of the Holy Spirit on 11 May 98 at 10am and let the "The Holy Spirit Empower" you ..... . It's a public holiday and what better way to spend it then making a date with the Holy Spirit......
Year 1998 has been declared by Pope John Paul II as a year dedicated to the Holy Spirit so it is of significance that couples and family pledge themselves to be empowered......
Finally, thank you for the continual influx of notes of encouragement, frank sharings and comments. They spur us on so keeping them coming. You can also chat with us at our Website: "http://web.singnet.com.sg/~mespore/"
Next issue of Encounters will be published in September 1998. Till then, we wish you happy dialoguing !!!
If you wish to share your dialogue or any experiences with us, please put in the mail to The Encounters, c/o 550 Pasir Ris Street 51 #13-75, Singapore 510550 or by email to Anthony & Helen
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The ME Parish Committee - Church of the Holy Spirit
Soon after Fr Joe Tan became parish priest of the Church of the Holy Spirit, as early as Jun 96, Father with his vision for encountered couples in the parish greeted each of us, in faith, simplicity and absolute confidence. "Ah! You are just the couple I want to talk to......" That was how the ME Parish Committee of the Church of the Holy Spirit was founded ..... Our mission, to help spread the M.E. message to couples in the Church of the Holy Spirit.
Fr Joe's enthusiasm made us recall how we had reaped our own harvest at our original weekend. M.E. was more than just a meaningful Weekend for us, it had enhanced our married life, showed us how to walk side-by-side, growing stronger in our faith and helped us experience joy living together as husband and wife. We can also testify that our families have become more well-bonded and happier.
Of course we were eager to help share our experience with others in the Parish. "Easy job" we thought, but it turned out, not that easy after all but we got going, organising a recruitment drive, Info Night, Parish Love Circle and M.E. Christmas get-together. We were kept busy with meetings but over and above these official business we thoroughly enjoyed the socialising and getting to know each other much better. From fellow parishioners we are now great friends, we meet in Church and we also meet in each others homes. Of course ME style it always end with great food! The "Challenge" came sometime in February when we were asked, to organise the 19th Anniversary M.E. Mass in our very own parish. So far, functions we organised were meant for groups not exceeding two hundred people and the request was received with apprehension, nervousness & daunting fear. Jude and Melly, M.E. Community Board member shifted into gear, chairs our Committee and persisted with plans. True to the theme "The Holy Spirit Empowers Us", we were guided and in the process of our work organising this event we now feel honoured to have been given the opportunity to play a part in this annual celebration. To quote Noel & Joey, "The Holy Spirit empowers us in confidence and strength" and from a group of curious and confused couples wondering what was in store, we have grown and bloomed into a tremendous group of couples ballooned with love and care for each other and our families.
We have indeed already witnessed an awakening of our parish through the Holy Spirit's guidance and our prayers are that our parish will grow together in faith and love, as couples and as one Family. Under the guidance of our spiritual shepherd, Fr Joe, the Holy Spirit has released our hearts and minds. In the words of Mother Theresa - 'I cannot say I love you and do nothing.'
Our six couple strong M.E Parish Committee now shares Fr Joe and the M.E. Community's dream to change the world and make it a better place. We want to bring the gift of the M.E. Weekend to the couples of our parish and together with them, develop a sense of "Family". There is much to be done and we hope more encountered couples from the parish will come join us in forming Love Circles and developing a Family Life Group to help assist and promote activities such as: Engaged Encounter, Marriage Encounter, Marriage Preparation Course (MPC), Infant Baptism Preparation, Natural Family Planning (NFP) and journeying with Young Married Couples.
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The Wemmicks were small wooden people, each carved by a woodworker named Eli. His workshop sat on a hill overlooking their village. Every Wemmick was different. Some had big noses, others had large eyes. Some were tall and others were short. Some wore hats, others wore coats. But all were made by the same carver and all lived in the same village. All day, every day, the Wemmicks did the same thing: They gave each other stickers. Each Wemmick had a box of golden star stickers and a box of grey dot stickers. Up and down the streets. all over the city, Wemmicks could be seen sticking stars or dots on one another.
The pretty ones, those with smooth wood and fine paint, always got stars. But if the wood was rough or the paint chipped, the Wemmicks gave dots. The talented ones got stars, too. Some could lift big sticks high above their heads or jump over tall boxes. Still others knew big words or could sing very pretty songs. Everyone gave them stars. Some Wemmicks had stars all over them! Every time they got a star it made them feel so good that they did something else and got another star. Others, though, could do little. They got dots.
Punchinello was one of these. He tried to jump high like the others, but he always fell. Any when he fell, the others would gather around and give him dots. Sometimes when he fell, it would scar his wood, so the people would give him more dots. He would try to explain why he fell and say something silly, and the Wemmicks would give him more dots. After a while, he had so many dots that he didn't want to go outside. He was afraid he would do something dumb such as forget his hat or step into the water, and then people would give him another dot. In fact, he had so many grey dots that some people would come up close and give him one without reason.
"He deserves lots of dots" the Wemmicks would agree with one another. "He's not a good wooden people." After a while Punchinello believed them. "I'm not a good Wemmick," he would say. The few times he went outside, he hung around other Wemmicks who had a lot of dots. He felt better around them.
One day he met a Wemmick who was unlike any he'd ever met. She had no dots or stars. She was just wooden. Her name was Lulia. It wasn't that people did not try to give her stickers. It's just that the stickers don't stick. Some admired Lulia having no dots, so they would run up and give her a star. But it would fall off. Some would look down on her for having no stars, so they would give her a dot. But it wouldn't stick either.
That's the way I want to be, "thought Punchinello. "I don't want anyone's marks." So he asked Lulia how she did it. "It's easy," Lulia replied. "Every day I go see Eli." "Eli?" "Yes, Eli, the wood carver. I sit in the workshop with him." "Why?" "Why don't you find out for yourself? Go up the hill. He's there" And with that Lulia turned and skipped away.
"But he won't want to see me!" Punchinello cried out. Lulia didn't hear. So Punchinello went home. He sat near a window and watched the Wemmicks as they scurried around giving each other stars and dots. "It's not right," he muttered to himself. And he resolved to go see Eli.
He walked up the narrow path to the top of the hill and stepped into the big shop. His wooden eyes widened at the size of everything. The stool was as tall as he was. He had to stretch on this toes to see the top of the workbench. A hammer was as long as his arm. Punchinello swallowed hard. "I'm not staying here!" and he turned to leave. Then he heard his name, "Punchinello?" The voice was deep and strong. Punchinello stopped. "Punchinello! How good to see you. Come and let me have a look at you."
Punchinello turned slowly and looked at the large bearded craftsman. "You know my name?" the little Wemmick asked. "Of course I do. I made you." Eli stooped down and picked him up and set him on the bench. "Hmm," the maker spoke thoughtfully as he inspected the grey circles. "Looks like you've been given bad marks." "I didn't mean to, Eli. I really tried hard." "Oh, you don't have to defend yourself to me., child. I don't care what other Wemmicks think".
"You don't?" "No, and you shouldn't either. Who are they to give stars and dots? They're Wemmicks just like you. What they think doesn't matter, Punchinello. All that matters is what I think. And I think you are pretty special."
Punchinello laughed. "Me, special? Why? I can't walk fast. I can't jump. My paint is peeling. Why do I matter to you?"
Eli looked at Punchinello, put his hands on those wooden shoulders, and spoke very slowly. "Because you're mine. That's why you matter to me." Punchinello never had anyone look at him like this - much less his maker. He didn't know what to say
"Every day I've been hoping you'd come," Eli explained. "I came because I met someone who had no marks." "I know. She told me about you." "Why don't the stickers stay on her?" "Because she has decided that what I think is more important than what they think. The stickers only stick if you let them." "What?" "The stickers only stick if they matter to you. The more you trust my love, the less you care about the stickers."
"I'm, not sure I understand." "You will, but it will take time. You've got a lot of marks. For now, just come to see me every day and let me remind you how much I care."
Eli lifted Punchinello off the bench and set him on the ground. "Remember." Eli said as the Wemmick walked out the door. "You are special because I made you. And I don't make mistakes." Punchinello didn't stop, but in his heart he thought, "I think he really means it." And when he did, a dot fell to the ground.
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I am a professional woman and I prided myself to be doing well both in my career and as a wife and mother. I have contributed much to the home and to the well being of my children. Both myself and my husband works on shifts and because of our busy schedules and different shifts our communication were much neglected. We were encountered many years ago and because of our busy schedules we did not follow through the bridges nor join up with the Love Circle. Both myself and my husband thought we could manage without them. We had good intentions and good moral believes and we really didn't see a need of being with any group. So caught up were we in this fast pace society that everything happened so naturally. With Singapore going regional I had to be away on trips often and after two years of very regular travels I discovered I couldn't hold a decent conversation with my husband, we had nothing in common. Not even the children who have grown and are independent and on their own.
I met with an accident and was hospitalised for a period and I felt so extremely sad and alone. I felt I owned everything that I wanted but I had nothing that I needed. I blamed myself for having neglected my communication with my husband but I thank God for saving me in time. I am trying very hard now to communicate decently with my better half and am asking for your prayers to help us through. I want to thank "Encounters" for remembering us and I want to tell couples don't put communication on hold, it does not stay still, the crack only gets bigger.
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A year after perfect strangers became friends, thanks to the shared magic of a special weekend, it was time to celebrate and give thanks. At the potluck party graciously hosted by Olivier & Tess at their idyllic Ridgewood Condominium, 11 energetic kids swam, cycled and played basketball as the 16 adults ate themselves silly and enjoyed an easy camaraderie.
As night fell, some kids settled down to quieter board games and Chris made the mistake of joining them in "Upwords". Soon everyone was swarming around, cheering every smart and stupid move. It was hilarious watching adults pitting themselves against the kids, spouses poking fun at each other and rules challenged every minute.
Just when we decided that we'd been sufficiently boisterous and Ridgewood residents were entitled to some semblance of peace, Olivier, against his better judgement, set us off with karaoke. The Fame Awards types in our love circle (and we can boast of quite a few!) took to the mikes with gusto. From Nat King Cole classics to Backstreet Boys' current hits, nothing floored them. They even turned in a creditable demonstration of the Marcarena, much to the amusement of the teenagers present.
As the night wore on song after song, nobody wanted to leave. Every well intentioned "last song, last song" was succeeded by yet another. We were having so much fun! When we finally left, the evening had left in our hearts a spirit of thankfulness and joy. We had had a great time and so did our kids.
They thought our ME friends were loony and outrageous and begged for a monthly repeat of the madness. To us, the evening was firstly a reminder of the reality of God working in our lives, blessing us with a wonderful circle of like-minded friends to journey together in love. And, more than that, it had left a mark on all the children who were present. They saw us couples, eating, playing and having fun together. They saw us giving thanks and praying together. The value of these moments, we know, will serve them well as they gather favourable impression after impression of the ME community .
When it is time for them to experience an ME Weekend, we are hopeful that they will respond with faith, anticipation and confidence. After all, they have seen, first hand, the wonder of ME. They know they will meet and make precious, loony friends. YES! We pray that all our children will be similarly blessed. .
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Holy Spirit Empowers - Thoughts from some ...
" I believe on the ME Weekend the Holy Spirit did work in the quiet because I came away much more humble. He empowers me to be humble, to acknowledge when I am wrong and helps me now to apologise to my spouse. Said her husband Daniel, I agree because when my spouse started apologising I became more conscious too that sometimes it was my fault and I found it easier to apologise, since she was doing the same."
Says several teenagers whom we asked. "The Holy Spirit empowers our parents to show their love. Before their ME Weekends we never witness shows of affection but after their Weekend, they become so lovey dovey. We found it rather ticklish but it made it so much easier for us to talk to them about our own relating problems with our boy friends & girl friends. We felt they were human and would understand."
"The Holy Sprit empowers me to see, see what I had never seen before about myself. I always prided myself to be right, doing the best for my family. On my Weekend it came as a shock to see that in projecting myself I had unwittingly been causing my spouse to feel extremely insecure. Yes it empowered me with vision and with empathy to hear and see myself better and understand how I am often the cause of my spouse's sorrow."
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Love Circle 161 from the February 93 ME Weekend has been revived. Out of 13 couples and a Priest, 9 couples and Fr Frank Depoorter decided to take on the Love Circle journey. During and after the weekend, we all got to know Fr Frank well and we thoroughly enjoy listening to his life experiences that he so freely shared with us and especially his excellent sense of humour. Our children also got to know him well and they are all too glad to be with us at Love Circle meetings when they were held at the former CICM House at Ladyhill Road because of the many outdoor games available.
Over the years, our Love Circle became stronger as couples became more trusting with each other. Our presenting couples and Fr Loiseau have all been so wonderfully supportive during our journey.
But something happened in early 1997 when we suddenly stopped meeting after a few "inevitable postponements". Inertia began to seep in and soon we realised that we have not met for almost 9 months.
Then one day, perhaps empowered by the Holy Spirit, Fr Frank called us to ask if he could host the next meeting.. "Yes" was the resounding answer and so we met in December 97 at the new CICM House at Pandan Valley.
Most of us were present for the first "re-initiated meeting" and it was a wonderful reunion. The Holy Spirit must have been with us. We were all so happy to meet again. We missed the fellowship and relationship we've established and we have yearned to get started again but did not know how. Not until Fr Frank decided to act.
Since then, our engines is purring again and we've so far met twice in 1998. From the recent meetings, it is clear that our desire to keep the group going is still strong. So thanks to Fr Frank, it looks like we have been recharged and back on track again.
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Holy Spirit Empowers...
Bobby & Lily
Peace be with you.. This is Jesus' usual greeting when he comes among people. Whether we know it or not, it is also the setting used by the Holy Spirit when it enters our lives. The Holy spirit can empower us anytime and any where but it is most effective when we are in a tranquil, open and even state of heart and mind.
Too often, Lily and I are preoccupied with what's going on in the world to be aware of the Spirit's presence in our lives. We cannot be empowered by the Holy spirit unless we are in tune with our inner most self, and we can do this when we are open, with no pre-conceived thoughts or notions of what to expect. Only then can the Holy spirit surprise us with what God has in store for us
I (Bobby) can relate how the Holy Spirit has empowered me and influenced my life by sharing some recent incidents that has occurred. In the face of insurmountable time pressure, with assignments to complete, ME presentations to write, SVDP commitments and extremely trying business schedules to meet, I was ready to throw in the towel. However, in the quiet and tranquillity of daily morning mass, I listened to what the Holy spirit had to say to me. The empowerment was simple. Somehow with much help from people around me, especially my spouse Lily and our ME friends, I was able to meet every one of my schedules. More importantly, every goal met came not with a sense of achievement, but it came with deep gratitude to God, for the gift of friends especially for my spouse whose own spiritual strength somehow rubs off on me and also the inner peace and tranquillity that seems to permeate my daily life in the midst of much anxiety and uncertainty.
Being in a family of lovers has been most affirming. Your love and support has touched me spiritually. I know God loves me because of the gift of you and my spouse. I feel grateful and happy feeling His love. It is in this yearning that I feel a humbling need for the Holy Spirit to abide in me.
For me (Lily), the Holy Spirit fills me with the very conscious awareness of His presence. When Bob told me that he was helping with our Church's children Easter Party, I felt annoyed. I had planned for us to finish our talks for our ME presentation in May that afternoon. I had decided not to attend a Baptism that afternoon too. I said something negative angrily. Bob was upset. HDIF? - Lousy for an inner voice said "No". A good set of talks means nothing if the spirit that went into writing it was not filled with love. So Bob went for the party and I went for the baptism. We wrote nothing that day, but we felt happy, peaceful and great love for Him and for each other. When we willingly welcome the Holy Spirit into our hearts, He empowers us with the fire of prayer.
The Holy Spirit prompting is primarily of TRUST, trust in Him who loves us so much that He will never allow us to bear more than we can. Learning to trust in itself is a special gift from God. Those who trust implicitly are the more blessed for it. In this respect, we are a long way away. But listening to the Holy Spirit somehow unconsciously makes us a little more trusting in Him ..... Lord, may your Holy Will be done for us and in us through the Holy spirit.
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Our Father's Call to a couple -
Fr Chuck Gallagher
Your being in love is My way to attract you to love. I say to you, "You are wonderful! You are good!" I want you to enjoy together the fullness of life, for which I sent My Son.
I know you have the potential to love totally all your life long Are you willing to give yourselves completely to each other, To have as rich a life as I want you to have?
I'm not talking about your just being nice, But about your being part of each other. So important to Me is your love That I have even given you My special power to personify your love Your children will be the two of you in one flesh!
Oh, how much I ambition for your love! Your closeness, your oneness, Is the human experience nearest to how I live and love I desire for you to spend yourselves on each other without reserve The way My Son spent Himself on you
I pledge to you, as you grow together through your years of loving That the abundant joy that He came to reveal will be yours. Nothing is more important to Me than your loving each other So valuable and so precious is that special love that My Son has made you one of the sacraments of His Church
You in your unique union, in your everyday life together, Are a sacred sign of His caring, healing, And life-giving presence. Wherever you are, whatever you say in tenderness to each other
And whatever you do in loving union brings Jesus in His Body, the Church, alive to all whom you touch. I call you to love each other in His name!!!!
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This page is maintained by Anthony & Helen Please contact us with any suggestions or comments. This file updated on 3-November-99