The city of Richmond has barred "sandwich men" except for those with
political or religious messages. . . .
A study at Ball State University in Muncie found that 97 percent of stu-
dents send and receive text messages and only 25 per cent use e-mail
or internet "instant messaging." . . .
A court dismissed voyeurism charges against a Fort Wayne man who
used a shoe camera to peer up girls' and women's dresses at a Castle-
ton mall, holding that the law applies to peeping inside a dwelling, not
looking up a skirt in a public place. Four charges of attempted child ex-
ploitation remain. . . .
A Terre Haute woman frustrated by miscarriages used pillows to main-
tain an appearance of her latest pregnancy and, at term, stabbed a cou-
ple in their home and kidnapped their 1-month-old baby.
[courtesy Associated Press]
By commercial trickery, including the purchase of a tavern through a
"straw man," the city of Covington converted its last three "topless"
bars to "bikini" bars.
[courtesy AP]
"I take all responsibility for what happened, because if a team shows up at such an important
game, like tonight's game, with terror in their head and heart and in their legs, and if the team
is unable to express their abilities, it means the coach did not train the team as he should have
done psychologically, technically or tactically."
– Marcello Lippi, coach of defending World Cup soccer chamption Italy,
after Italy's elimination from the World Cup games by Slovakia
"I have no choice but to say it was a disaster. We have a team of immature spoiled brats and a
confused coach who has no authority. What I can't forgive is that they've shattered the dreams
of millions of children."
– French Sports Minister Roselyne Bachelot, after the elimination of
previous runner-up France from the World Cup by South Africa,
which occurred after the team refused to practice after one of the
star players was sent home for cussing out the coach
Cyndi Lauper, 57
Lindsay Wagner, 61
Meryl Streep, 61
Mariette Hartley, 70
The FDA reported that flibanserin, the "female Viagra," makes
women depressed, dizzy, and lightheaded, but does not affect
their sexual appetite. . . . A study in France found that fat men
find it easier to find sexual partners than do fat women. . . . A
man clad only in underwear mooned Hell's Angels in Munich,
threw a puppy at them, and fled on a stolen bulldozer. . . . A
mortician in Findlay, Ohio, was accused of wearing the jacket
of a deceased man in front of the man's family. . . . Three chil-
dren were removed from a home in Black River Falls,Wiscon-
sin, in which 100 dead cats were found in a disconnected free-
zer and 17 live cats were found outside the freezer (the mother
said she was targeted for her Wiccan beliefs). . . . A woman
kept 32 cats (four of them dead) in a Motel 6 room in Colum-
bia, Missouri. . . . A man suffered a scratched knee when the
car he drove around a crossing gate was torn in two by an Am-
trak train going 60 miles an hour in Lapeer, Michigan. . . . A
naked woman stole a car in West Valley City, Utah, and then a
police car when police caught up with her. . . . A dog ran over
his master in the master's pickup truck in Ridge Manor, Florida.
. . . An Asian carp got through the electric gate and into Lake
Calumet in Chicago, on its way to the Great Lakes.
[courtesy Harper's Weekly, Daily Snopes, Obscure.com, AP]
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Ideas for a Better America Box 413 The Columbus Book of Euchre Brownsville KY 42210 War Stories: The Memoirs of a Country Lawyer (270) 597-2187 Hank T. Hebhoe, publisher Natty Bumppo, writer/editor |
Tony Dean wrote Fri Jun 18 2010 @12:56 PM to the editors of Scientific American:
Dumb news from Kentucky:
[Knox County; Tabloid Headlines photo]
Rand Paul, Republican nominee for Senator and "board certified ophthal-
mologist," is certified not by the American Board of Ophthalmologists,
recognized by the American Medical Association, but by the National
Board of Ophthalmology, which he incorporated and heads.
[courtesy Louisville Courier-Journal]
"There isn't enough money in the world to clean up the Gulf of Mexico. Once BP realizes the
extent of this, my guess is that they'll panic and go into Chapter 11."
– oil financier Matt Simmons
"The people of South Carolina have spoken. We have to be pro- South Carolina. TheBirthdays:
people of South Carolina have spoken. We have to be pro- South Carolina."
– Alvin Greene, Democrat nominee for Senator from South Carolina, unem-
ployed and facing a felony charge of showing pornography to a minor
Robin Tunney, 38
Maddie Aldridge, 2
An 8-year-old boy was sent home from school in Providence,
Rhode Island, for wearing a cap with toy soldiers mounted on
it (they were armed, and that violated the "no weapons" policy.
. . . A six-stories-tall "Touchdown Jesus" was struck by light-
ning and burned to the ground alongside I-75 north of Cincin-
nati, Ohio. . . . A couple were married at a Home Depot in
Lake Forest, California. . . . Jack Abramoff checked into a
halfway house. . . . Customers and employees engaged in a
food fight at a Wendy's drive-through in Kalamazoo, Michi-
gan. . . . A Southwest Airlines worker found several boxes of
human heads at the airport in Little Rock, Arkansas. . . . A
dozen students wore Ku Klux Klan T-shirts to the last day of
class at a high school in Galsesville,Wisconsin. . . . The "condi-
ment bandit" was arrested in Boise, Idaho, with a loaded hand-
gun in her car. . . . A homeless man was arrested "on suspicion
of child annoying" for kissing toddlers' foreheads in Santa Cruz,
California.
[courtesy Harper's Weekly, Daily Snopes, Obscure.com, AP]
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Borf Books
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Ideas for a Better America Box 413 The Columbus Book of Euchre Brownsville KY 42210 War Stories: The Memoirs of a Country Lawyer (270) 597-2187 Hank T. Hebhoe, publisher Natty Bumppo, writer/editor |
Jon Polacheck wrote Mon 07 Jun 2010 @09:58:59 CDT re last week'sDumb news from Indiana:
item "A North Carolina state trooper who trapped, shot and killed his
neighbor's 5-month-old kitten has sued to get his job back":
It doesn't say why he lost his job.
Jay Cory wrote Mon 7 Jun 2010 @10:27:55 EDT:
I missed the haircut naming but I'd like to weigh in on Liza Mi-
nelli. I'd call that fashion "modernistic trashbag."
FGDean@aol.com wrote Mon 7 Jun 2010 @10:34:09 PDT:
She looks like a dominatrix.
A wedding party bus ran a stoplight in Indianapolis and crashed into
an SUV, killing a groomsman. Some of the injured were taken to
Methodist Hospital, where the wedding was performed outside an
emergency room. . . .
A Delta flight attendant was arrested for bringing a loaded handgun to
Indianapolis International Airport in her carry-on luggage (and she
missed her flight).
[courtesy Associated Press]
A coal truck collided with a church van from Georgia in Whitley Coun-
ty, near the Tennessee border (many injured, none killed).
[courtesy AP]
The Frazier International History Museum, of Louisville, made the win-
ning bid, at $37,600, for the Mary Todd Lincoln insanity commitment
papers.
[courtesy Louisville Courier-Journal]
Colorado left the Big 12 conference to go to the Pacific 10, increasing
the latter's membership to 11, and Nebraska left for the Big 10 (which
already has had 11 schools since Pennsylvania State joined in 1990,
but has not changed its name). Texas and Oklahoma were expected
to follow Colorado to the Pac 10, and and Oklahoma State, Texas A-
&M and Texas Tech were expected to follow them. Missouri was ex-
pected to follow Nebraska to the Big 10.
The departures of all of the above would reduce the Big 12 to 4 mem-
bers – Baylor, Iowa State, Kansas and Kansas State – but, no need
to change the name: Did the Big East change its name when DePaul
(Chicago), Marquette (Milwaukee), Notre Dame (South Bend, Indi-
ana), Cincinnati, Louisville, Pittsburgh and West Virginia joined?
Woe unto the league that loses its "brand." At least all the Big "East"
schools are east of the Mississippi River, and all now and to be in the
"Pacific" "10" are west of the Mississippi.
Boise State bolted the Western Athletic conference for the Mountain
West.
[courtesy the sports pages]
"After ages during which the earth produced harmless trilobites and butterflies, evolution
progressed to the point at which it generated Neros, Genghis Khans, and Hitlers. This,
however, is a passing nightmare; in time the earth will become again incapable of sup-
porting life, and peace will return."
– Bertrand Russell (1950)
"The last company people in the Gulf want to see go bankrupt is BP . . . half of our fami-
lies make their living in the Gulf drilling for oil and gas that this country desperately needs."
– Senator Mary Landrieu of Louisiana
"Our tourist season has been hurt by the misperception of what's going on down here. The
coast is clear. Come on down."
– Governor Haley Barbour of Mississippi
|
Ashley and Mary Kate Olsen, 24 (what ever became of them?)
Shia LaBeouf, 24
Johnny Depp, 47
Ally Sheedy, 48
Michael J. Fox, 49
Joey Dee, 70
Bobby Freeman, 70
Times Square bomber Faisal Shahzad lost his home in Connec-
ticut to foreclosure. . . . The world's ugliest dog died at 17. . . .
Three 14-year-old students were suspended from school in Kit-
sap, Washington – a girl who gave a boy a blow job in the back
of the bus, the boy, and another girl who videoed the escapade.
. . . A freshman was identified as "Moe Lester" in a high school
yearbook in Rochester, Minnesota. ... The city council of Stras-
burg, Virginia, declined to rename the town Stephen Strasburg,
after the sensational debut of the new Washington Nationals pit-
cher (who is from San Diego, California), but it voted to have a
Stephen Strasburg Day and give him a "Pride of Strasburg" a-
ward. . . . Al and Tipper Gore's eldest child, Karenna, is sepa-
rated from her husband, Andrew Schiff. . . . A horse she was
sedating fell asleep atop a veterinarian in Devonshire, England
(the fire department came to her rescue). . . . A woman dialed
911 five times in Alliance, Ohio, looking for a husband (told
by the dispatcher that she could be arrested, she said, "Let's
do it" – and she went to jail for three days). . . . A man was
strangled by his pet boa constrictor in Papillon, Nebraska. . . .
A hundred professional clowns who perform on buses march-
ed through San Salvador in protest of two impostor clowns
who killed a passenger in a robbery. . . . High school teacher Michele Taylor was on trial in Yakima, Washington, for sedu-
cing 15- and 16-year-old boys.
[courtesy Harper's Weekly, Daily Snopes, Obscure.com, AP]
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Borf Books
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Ideas for a Better America Box 413 The Columbus Book of Euchre Brownsville KY 42210 War Stories: The Memoirs of a Country Lawyer (270) 597-2187 Hank T. Hebhoe, publisher Natty Bumppo, writer/editor |
Terry Crow wrote Weds 2 Jun 2010 @13:00:54 PDT:
I was surprised to receive the headlines in advance of Sunday. However,
since the world will end on July 4, I am grateful for the additional knowl-
edge.
Lance Farrell wrote Weds 2 Jun 2010 @16:12:36 EDT:
Wow! You work on these early. Did you mean to send it out so soon,
though?
You're welcome to the early prediction. And, we're sorry you received this issue
in advance seven times (and will receive it again, seven times more). The publisher
was scheduled to be on the road this weekend, and the early transmission was a re-
sult of experimentation.You can thank also Windstream.net, Yahoo, Bill Gates, and
Steve Jobs. The dolts.
Don't forget to vote for the haircut, and tell us what you think of Liza Minelli's new
fashion line (we suspect that the two subjects may be related . . . ).
– Editor
Patricia M. wrote Thurs 3 Jun 2010 @06:05:18 PDT from San Diego, California:
I vote for the Edmonson County Mohawk.
Liquor stores will have to "card" octogenarians under a new law.
[courtesy Associated Press]
The rock group Rush told Rand Paul, Republican nominee for Senator,
to quit playing their music at his campaign rallies {"This is not a political
issue," said the lawyer for the Canadian band, "this is a copyright issue").
[courtesy Louisville Courier-Journal]
"That's too dumb for fun."
– Natty Bumppo, Editor, Tabloid Headlines, rejec-
ting a headline from the Sun - Weekly World News
("Foreclosed couple found living in cluttered attic")
"Drill, baby, drill!''
– Michael Steele
– Sarah Palin
– President Obama
|
Jarrod Wyatt California cannibal / axe murderer |
Chuck Barris, 81
Dr. Ruth, 82
Boots Randolph, 83
Andy Griffith, 84
Tony Curtis, 85
Charlie Sifford, 88
Earvin Johnson III, 18
Prince Tirso, 8
Countess Leonore, 4
A South African newspaper apologized for a cartoon showing
Muhammad on a psychiatrist's couch saying, "Other prophets
have followers with a sense of humor!" . . . The Cambodian
"jungle girl" who spent 20 years living alone in the forest before
being reunited with her family three years ago, at the age of 29,
fled back to the wild. . . . The American Kennel Club admitted
mutts to its dog shows. . . . A 2-year-old Indonesian addicted
to smoking was propelling himself on a toy truck because he is
too out of shape to toddle. . . .Scientists reported that male an-
telopes trick females into sex by warding off imaginary preda-
tors. . . . A North Carolina state trooper who trapped, shot
and killed his neighbor's 5-month-old kitten has sued to get his
job back. . . . A police dispatcher was fired inWest Allis, Wis-
consin, after posting on Facebook that she was addicted to vi-
codin, adderall, "quality marijuana," absinthe, and MD 20/20
(she said she was joking). . . . A 32-year-old man dialed 911
in New Port Richey, Florida, to have his mother arrested for
taking his beer away from him (and he was the one arrested).
. . . Lightning struck nine persons at the Old Faithful geyser in
Yellowstone National Park. . . . A Swiss court held that Texas
hold 'em is a game of chance, not a game of skill, and therefore
can be promoted only in casinos. . . . Transsexual men were
exempted from arrest for indecent exposure for exposing their
breasts at Rehoboth Beach in Delaware.
[courtesy Harper's Weekly, Daily Snopes, Obscure.com, AP]