Society is set up to pressure people to fit into a uniform mold. As a result people wear the masks of proper attire, manners and etiquette. They become conventional characters responding to the expectations of others — so concerned with what other people think they lose their own identity.

Do you project who you really are, or are you the person others want you to be? Some people won’t have anything to do with you unless you are what they want you to be. But if you consider that logically, it means that these relationships are based solely on your willingness to be manipulated. Unless you comply, you’ll be rejected. And the expectations of others will mold, dominate, cripple and paralyze you. Do you need that kind of a relationship?

Explore your question as it relates to the way you respond to what other people think. Do you need to stop repressing who you really are? If you did, what is the worst that could happen? What is the best that might happen?

A problem does not need to be eliminated to be resolved. Often a better solution is a change in viewpoint. When you are no longer affected by a problem, you no longer have a problem, although nothing may have outwardly changed.

If you get upset when someone verbally berates you, it is because you can t separate things in an enlightened way. It isn’t what someone says or does to you, short of physical violence that affects you — only your thoughts about what they say affect you. Why allow another’s lack of balance to affect yours? Why allow another’s problem to create a problem within you? By accepting what they say you only hurt yourself.

Let’s say the person closest to you is often warm and loving, and you enjoy these times, but this person can also be selfish and self-centered. During those times, you consciously detach and let the negativity flow through you without affecting you. It is that person’s right to be grouchy, and it is your right not to be affected. Nothing about the situation has changed except the way you view it.

Any time you get upset with someone, it is a self-created karmic test to see how much you’ve learned and whether you’ll need to be tested in the future. Did you respond to the situation with compassion or neutrality? Did you respond with anger or negativity? Until you learn that negative, fear-based responses don’t work, similar future situations are assured.

Be aware that you got upset because you had expectations of approval or control—of attaining the approval of others or controlling their actions or reactions. Simply stated, your expectations conflict with what is. It would be impossible for you to be upset about anything if your expectations were not in conflict with the current situation.

Ask yourself, "Where do I get the right to expect others to be the way I want them to be?" You don’t want them to expect you to live up to their expectations, do you? In the future, every time you start to get upset, remind yourself, "My expectations are in conflict with what is."

It is time to make some decisions about commitment. When your intent becomes clear—to make a decision to obligate yourself to a person, a task or a concept—everything begins to fall into place if your direction is in harmony with the universe and your purpose. Once you have pledged this direction, things happen almost magically, as if you were a magnet attracting that which is needed. The key to this ultimate power is to have no indecisiveness at all. The greater your emotional desire, the more power you give to those on the other side who can assist you and the sooner you will experience the manifestation.

Your first commitment must be to know yourself and be your True Self. Then you can stop living with one foot in the safety zone, withholding full commitment. If you partially commit, you can experience only partial joy. Total commitment offers the potential for total joy. Maybe you’re here on earth to learn that life is what you make it and is to be enjoyed.

Process yourself about your commitments by asking the right questions. Answers are never difficult if you’re willing to stop hiding from the questions.

The Buddhist’s Three Pillars of Dharma offers a path for spiritual :

1. Generosity: Not grasping nor clinging—nongreed. The karmic results of generosity are abundance and deep harmonious relationships with other people.

2. Moral restraint: Not killing; not stealing; not committing sexual misconduct, refraining from actions of sensuality which cause pain or harm to others; not using wrong speech, not only telling the truth, but avoiding a lot of useless and frivolous talk or gossip; not taking intoxicants which cloud the mind.

3. Meditation: Concentrating the mind to stay steady on an object without wavering and cultivating insight to see more clearly the process of things, the nature of dharma.

Consider how these three pillars relate to your question and to your life.

Your subconscious mind is programmed by your thoughts, so what you think is critically important. Self-actualized people generate positive mental talk that increases self-discipline and supports high self-esteem. When you think, "I’ve got to get started on that project," catch yourself and replace that thought with, "I can’t wait to get started on that project." Or you think, "I should skip watching the TV movie and finish the presentation." Catch yourself and say instead, "I choose to skip TV and finish the presentation."

Use positive self-talk, always based on your free choice of what you need to do. This programming is accepted by your subconscious mind and it will be incorporated into your natural way of thinking.

If you decide to catch yourself every time you think negatively, it will become easy to set a positive self-talk pattern into motion. Just remember that each positive thought is a "success opportunity," and replace your negative thought. A positive visualization will add to the programming power. Start catching and replacing your negative thoughts from this moment on.

On a higher level of mind you are perfect – who you are is perfect, even though what you do is not always perfect. For just a few moments, dwell only on your perfection. Silently in your mind repeat this affirmation over and over for a minute or two: "I know that who I am is perfect."

That’s right. You are perfect. But is your ego-self challenging your perfection, saying, "What a dumb idea, I am not perfect." If so, this affirmation seriously threatens your ego. Your ego needs to remind you how unperfect you are because your ego prefers you to identify with your actions and to feel guilty about them. It wants you to judge, condemn and blame yourself and others.

You can neutralize your ego by loving yourself and your own perfection. Remember, in life you experience what you are deeply convinced is so. Meditate on loving yourself and accepting your perfection.

Miracles are all around you, if you take the time to look for them instead of rushing through life focused only upon your destination. Everything is an oracle—everything speaks to you if you are ready to listen. Insights on the answer you seek can be found in a newspaper headline, on a bumper sticker or in the shape of a cloud. The words of a child can crystallize your problems into clear observations. Maybe while walking down a path you notice a heart-shaped rock and pick it up. Can you see it as a message?

Expanded awareness is a small miracle that leads to larger miracles. The secret to manifestation is opening yourself to the miracles that await you. In meditation, ask your spirit guides and Masters to assist you. Begin to view life through spiritual eyes.

Miracles are yours for the asking. Ask and you shall receive. Let this be the first step to manifesting a miracle that will change your life.