Various teams can lay claim to winning "IT" at one time or another, but very few teams have been able to win "IT" multiple times. So mysterious and tempting is "IT's" allure, that teams will do anything to get their hands on "IT".
One of the greatest and most successful teams of all times regularly called upon their Deity for spiritual guidance and leadership in their quest to achieve "IT". They also invoked the ghosts of their past football glory days to spur them on to victory. Believe it or not, they even employed a leprechaun to conjure up old Irish magic spells in an effort to get "IT".
Numerous teams have been successful in capturing "IT" for a single year, but eventually, "IT" slipped from their grasp. Year after year, these teams engage in a renewed and vigorous struggle to win "IT" back.
There are two teams in a land called Florida that both won "IT" once, but ultimately they too ended up losing "IT". So strong is their desire to get "IT" back, that they physically fight with each other to prove who is best and most deserved.
One team that won "IT" once is so shameless in their attempt to get "IT" back, that they have resorted to using hillbilly hexes. They have created a cult following and all their members have started wearing pig hats on their heads in an attempt to hex their opponents. Their magic is so strong, that they have even managed to brainwash some famous people into wearing these pig hats and yelling SOOOUIE PIG during games to help them win "IT" again.
So much time has passed since one particular team won "IT", that they are beginning to think that Hell, or at least the campus, will freeze over before they win "IT" again.
Another team that won "IT" once, later discovered that they received more publicity and attention by showing off their dog, than they ever did from winning "IT".
In fact, this particular team has become so enamored with their prized dog, that they have practically abandoned their quest for "IT". Instead they have constructed their own trophy, which is a graven image unto their dog.
Regretfully, some lesser teams will never ever win "IT". These teams are forever relegated to strive towards winning only the most minor of trophies. However, these teams are so zealous in their celebrations whenever they win even the most insignificant trophy, that a person could easily be fooled into believing that they had won "IT" instead.
One team called Bammer deserves special mention as they were successful in legitimately capturing "IT" several times. Followers of this team were so elated and captivated with achieving "IT", that they actually erected a monument to their aged leader and practically worshiped the ground he walked on.
Alas, however, they soon became so obsessed with the allure of "IT", that "IT" became all they ever talked about. "IT" became like a cancer, which infected them and caused them to become delirious. Over time, they truly began to believe that they had more class and more tradition than everyone else. Astoundingly, they actually believe they are better than everybody else. All this, just because they have won "IT" several times. You might say that they have become extremely full of "IT"!
Ultimately, the Bammers became delusional in their desire to brag about "IT", and began to embellish their achievements. They bragged and exaggerated so much, that they actually began to believe that they had won "IT" 12 times, which is many more times than they had really won "IT". A check with the record books proves that their claims of extra "ITs" are just plain bull! Non Bammers commonly refer to this as just a bunch of Bammer Bull "ITs".
Anyway, delirium has now caused the Bammers to become self-righteous and stubborn in their belief that they have won "IT" 12 times. When challenged, they use their Bammer math to support these false claims.
So strong is Bammer's lust for obtaining "IT" once again, that a covetous attitude has permeated throughout their entire following. Several years have passed since they actually last won "IT", but year after year they proclaim to the world that they will win "IT" yet again. They have gotten a new leader, and now they claim that he will eventually lead them to "IT" again. Yes he will - when pigs fly!
Unfortunately for Bammers, and everyone else, there is only one team that can lay a legitimate claim to "IT" this year. This team won "IT", they deserve "IT", and they have the right to do whatever they damn well please with "IT".
And you had better believe that they are taking full advantage of every
opportunity to spread "IT" on pretty thick until the end of football season.
THE END
