Time

By MTopaz

Vin sat in the police station waiting. He’d been escorted downtown to answer some questions about the guy he’d killed tonight. He just wanted to go home. Maybe tomorrow he could pick up his bounty money. Vin snorted in disgust. More like blood money. How much was a man’s life worth—even if he was scum. What made Vin any better? He was chasing guys down for money and he knew most of them were going to resist. That’s the kind of guys he went after. The real lowlifes. The vicious psychos. The ones with the biggest bounties.

What was he doing here, sitting in a dirty police station at three in the morning? This wasn’t what he thought life would be like when he was a kid. He’d always dreamed of being a Texas Ranger like his pa. Something upright and respectable. But everything got all screwed up.

Time, why you punish me?
Like a wave bashing into the shore
You wash away my dreams.

If his ma had lived maybe… Everyone either left him or he was forced to leave them—ma, grandpa, the few decent foster families that had taken him in. He had to learn how to survive on his own. There ain’t time for foolish dreams when you’re learning how to avoid drunken fists and scrounge for food. Most of them fosters didn’t care what a scrawny, stupid little troublemaking foster kid like Vin Tanner dreamed about.

Time, why you walk away?
Like a friend with somewhere to go
You left me crying

The police cleared Vin to go home. He could come back tomorrow morning to pick up his money. Tomorrow. The word didn’t have much meaning for Vin. It was just another day of hunting and killing. Why would it be any different than today or yesterday or the day before?

Can you teach me about tomorrow
And all the pain and sorrow
Running free?
Cause tomorrow's just another day
And I don't believe in time

A short time later, Vin sat in his dingy apartment guzzling on a beer. He heard a loud bang and looked out the window to see a group of kids driving away fast. Regular folks in a nice regular neighborhood would say they heard a car backfiring. People in Purgatory knew better. The cops would just write it off as another gang hit. They’d seen so many it probably didn’t faze them anymore. But it bothered Vin. It always bothered Vin. It seemed like just yesterday he was one of those kids—running the streets and hiding from cops.

Time, I don't understand
Children killing in the street
Dying for the color of red
Time, hey there red and blue
Wash them in the ocean, make them clean,
Maybe their mothers won't cry tonight

Vin turned away from the window and headed for bed. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and quickly looked away. He didn’t much like what he saw anymore. He didn’t think his ma or grandpa would be proud of the person he was now. He was a survivor. But just surviving had destroyed something in his soul.

Can you teach me about tomorrow
All the pain and sorrow
Running free?
But tomorrow's just another day
And I don't believe in...

Vin didn’t know much about living—just being free and happy, having friends, going places. He spent all his time in dark bars and alleys, shaking down crooks for information on bounties. It was a job he was good at, but he was losing himself in it. After a while, it seemed all he was doing was bringing in dead bodies. Vin couldn’t stand to look at all that money anymore—money for killing somebody. He started giving it to charities and keeping just enough to live on.

He got up and paced the room. Was this his life? Would it always be like this? What happened to his dreams?

Time is wasting
Time is walking
You ain't no friend of mine
I don't know where I'm goin'
I think I'm out of my mind
Thinking about time

One of these days, one of them bounties was going to get the drop on him. Would it really matter to anybody? Vin looked out at the row of apartments that lined the street. Lots of people snug in their beds, surrounded by family. Even if they didn’t have much, they had each other. What did he have?

And if I die tomorrow, yeah
Just lay me down in sleep

Time, you left me standing there
Like a tree growing all alone
The wind just stripped me bare, stripped me bare
Time, the past has come and gone
The future's far away
Now only lasts for one second, one second
Can you teach me about tomorrow
And all the pain and sorrow
Running free?
'Cause tomorrow's just another day
And I don't believe in time

Vin closed his eyes and leaned against the cool glass of the window. It would be nice to have a family, to have somebody worry about him. Or maybe even friends to watch his back. He sighed. Maybe not. He’d tried that once. Had a partner. Guy betrayed him and shot him in the back. But Vin recovered and tracked him down. Only time he ever didn’t feel bad about killing a bounty. Eli Joe’s last words still rang in his head. “You think you’re better than me? You’re just like me. You’re a killer.”

Eli Joe was right. That’s all Vin was—a killer. He wasn’t good for anything else. Who would want to take a killer into their family?

Time is wasting
Time is walking
You ain't no friend of mine
I don't know where I'm goin'
I think I'm out of my mind
Thinking about time

Vin could hear the ticking of the clock on the wall. The sun was coming up. For a moment it looked kind of beautiful, sparkin’ the sky with red…until it lit up the run down neighborhood and you could see all the dirt and disrepair. Then it was the ugliest thing in the world—just another morning in Purgatory.

Time, why you punish me?

The End

Time
Time, why you punish me?
Like a wave bashing into the shore
You wash away my dreams.

Time, why you walk away?
Like a friend with somewhere to go
You left me crying

Can you teach me about tomorrow
And all the pain and sorrow
Running free?
Cause tomorrow's just another day
And I don't believe in time

Time, I don't understand
Children killing in the street
Dying for the color of red
Time, hey there red and blue
Wash them in the ocean, make them clean,
Maybe their mothers won't cry tonight

Can you teach me about tomorrow
All the pain and sorrow
Running free?
But tomorrow's just another day
And I don't believe in...

Time is wasting
Time is walking
You ain't no friend of mine
I don't know where I'm goin'
I think I'm out of my mind
Thinking about time

And if I die tomorrow, yeah
Just lay me down in sleep

Time is wasting
Time is walking
You ain't no friend of mine
I don't know where I'm goin'
I think I'm out of my mind
Thinking about time

Time, why you punish me?

--Hootie and the Blowfish