To My Dearest Sugar Bear:

It was Valentine's Day, 1980.  I had worked 

a long shift at the hospital and trudged home exhausted.

Inside the house, a strange barrier was at the kitchen door...

I peeked over it, and little puddles were scattered on the floor.

What on earth?...  I moved the barrier and a tiny little ball of

fur waddled out from under the table... a precious 

puppy with a pink ribbon around her neck

that had a heart tied to it...

"Please love me - I'm your valentine" it said.  

That was our beginning, my precious Sugar Bear.  You loved sweets 

and looked like a little bear... that's where your name came from.  

We "grew up together."  I was so young, and didn't know how

to raise a puppy.  You were the victim of all my ignorance,

and I did everything wrong with you, but you loved me anyway

and never considered holding those mistakes against me.

We bonded as soon as I first picked you up and held you close

with tears in my eyes. We were always together... slept together,

took long walks together, and ran at the lake together.

We were inseparable.  You could read me like a book.

I could sniffle my nose  and you'd know whether it was

because I was crying  or whether it was my aggravating

allergy, and  you'd come running to hug me and lick my face

to tell me that everything would be all right.

You were my faithful companion through the best of times...

and the worst of times.  On happy occasions, 

you'd wear a big pink ribbon around your neck.

My mother's death was one of the worst of times, and you've

 gone with me often to her grave to leave pretty flowers

and tell her I still love her. You rode on the front of the sled

with me after the big snow, and how  everyone laughed!

When I'd float on a raft in the water at the lake, you'd swim

out to me and jump on...  we both would barely fit...

and people in boats would ride by  say 

"Look at that funny, cute dog!" Wherever I was,

there you'd be; you were part of my days and nights.

I never realized how much a part of me you had become.  

You never needed a leash... you stayed by my heel 

every step of the way, anywhere we were.  When you would

see me coming, you'd run and jump into my arms,

sitting on my hip with your paws  around my neck,

just as a child would.  That was your classic look,

with a big smile on your face. During the one short year

that my dearest mother new you, even she fell in love with

you (...and she "didn't like dogs!"). You'd go out together 

gathering kindling and  "heart of a pine" for the wood-burning

stove at the lake house, and she'd talk to you and brush

your pretty hair. Then she'd show you the secrets of building

a blazing fire... a skill that the rest of us have always

struggled with. I could write a book about  our life together, 

my precious Sugar Bear.  You gave me strength when no

human being could.  You gave me years of matchless 

joy and happiness.  Your faithfulness and 

unconditional love was unsurpassed.

You were blessed with a good healthy life...

you were a "pound puppy"... we never knew just what 

was in your genes.  We called you the "Disney Dog."

You made it through one serious illness when you were

about ten years old,  and it seemed as though the experience

convinced you that you should discover life all over again.

I guess it almost made me think you'd live forever, too...

for when  you were thirteen years old and became

really ill, I refused to believe that I could lose you.

The doctors at Riverview Animal Clinic could do anything... 

"Make her well,"  I told them, and they tried.

I visited you every day, taking you out into the grass

 where you hobbled around with your IV and a splint on your leg.

We would cuddle and  "talk" and then on your own initiative,

you'd walk back inside and go to your cage,

as if to say "I'm still sick, Mom.   I have to try to get well now."

You stayed in  the hospital for several days & seemed better.

They gave me permission to start bringing you home at night

and only come in as a day patient.  I was so excited!

I left work early and rushed to get you!

The vet met me at the desk... "I'm so sorry... 

she's not going to make it.  She needs to be put down.

I need your  permission..." he said.  

I can't describe the terror and despair that overwhelmed me.

My best friend...  I looked at you and knew that

your precious spirit had already left us; your body 

was wrenched with seizures. I held you in my arms 

as they injected you, bringing final peace to

the shell of your body that was left with me... 

We wrapped you in a blanket and I drove home,

scarcely able to see through the endless flow of tears.

We chose a beautiful spot to bury you.

It was one of your favorite places right outside the

kitchen window where you'd lie in the sun

and be able to hear my voice as

I talked to you while I worked.  You'd cock your

pretty head to one side, one ear straight up 

and the other flopped over, seeming to understand

every word I said, and then a smile would creep across

your face as that pretty pink tongue would hang out one

side of your mouth. I'll never forget that "picture."

A beautiful pink marble tombstone marks your

special spot.  The other part of that stone had been

made into a baby's marker.  

"Sugar Bear - Love of My Life"

seemed to be the right words.  I keep pretty flowers

growing around you all the time, and I still talk to you

while I'm working in my garden right beside you. I didn't

know of the  "Rainbow Bridge" story when you died,

but now that I do, it gives me renewed faith that I'll see you

again someday, and I'm ready to catch you in my arms

and let you sit on my hip with your arms around my neck 

while you wash away my tears with those sweet

kisses... that only you can give.